Chapter 72: ARM WRESTLING AND SUSPICIONS ARISING
ARM WRESTLING (IT'S GIVING SIGMA VS. MONKE)
The bandit monkeys were BUILT DIFFERENT—10 METERS TALL, arms THICKER THAN A LOW TAPER FADE, tails like IRON RODS, and rocking LEATHER SKIRTS like they were fresh out of a GYM BRO FASHION SHOW.
Monkey King: "HOWLLLLL—" (Translation: "PAY THE TOLL, SKILL ISSUE MERCHANTS!")
The fog CLEARED INSTANTLY, revealing OVER A THOUSAND MONKES surrounding the caravan like a TWITCH CHAT RAID.
Jia Long (caravan leader), SQUINTING LIKE A DISAPPOINTED DAD: "Jia Yong, GO. Don't EMBARRASS THE CLAN."
Jia Yong, FLEXING HIS TORTOISE STRENGTH GU: "I got this… probably."
ARM WRESTLING: MONKE VS. HUMAN (IT'S GIVING PRIMAL SHOWDOWN)
The STONE TABLE was BIGGER THAN A DOUBLE BED, and the Monkey King SLAMMED IT like it was a DRUM SET at a RIOT CONCERT.
Jia Yong sat down, his arm looking like a TWIG compared to the Monkey King's TREE-TRUNK LIMBS.
Elderly Female Monkey: "SCREEEEE!" (Translation: "BEGIN!")
Jia Yong: "GRRR—" (using MAXIMUM COPING ENERGY)
Monkey King: "LOL." (casually NO-DIFFS him)
SLAM. Jia Yong's arm got FOLDED LIKE A CHAIR.
Monkey King: "HOWL HOWL HOWL!" (Translation: "GG EZ, HUMAN TRASH.")
The monkeys LOST IT—some MOONED Jia Yong, some SPAMMED EMOTES, others POINTED AND LAUGHED like they were in a TWITCH CHAT.
Jia Yong, WALKING BACK IN SHAME: "I just got CLOWNED by monkeys…"
CARAVAN STRATEGY: IT'S GIVING 5D CHESS
Jia Long: "COVER THE GOOD COAL WITH PRETTY FABRIC. Monkes love SHINY THINGS."
Monkeys: "OOH OOH AAH AAH!" (immediately YOINKING the useless cloth)
Jia Long, SMIRKING: "Monkes stay taking L's."
Next up—JIA PING, the SKINNY LEGEND.
Monkeys: "LMAO, THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE A STICK BUG."
Jia Ping, **ACTIVATING HIS TREE ROOT MUSCLES: "Let me show you REAL SIGMA ENERGY."
SLAM. Monkey King got COOKED.
Monkey King: "WHAT THE GYATT?!" (eyes WIDE LIKE SAUCERS)
Jia Long: "Told you. NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER."
ZHANG CLAN'S TURN (IT'S GIVING NPC PANIC MODE)
Shang Xin Ci: "Uncle Zhang Zhu, just LET THEM TAKE THE GOODS."
Zhang Zhu, SWEATING BULLETS: "Miss, we CAN'T SKIP the arm-wrestle. Monkes are STICKLERS FOR RULES."
Xiao Die: "WE'RE DOOMED—"
SUDDENLY—
Fang Yuan: "LET ME COOK."
Shang Xin Ci: "Hei Tu?! You're not a GU MASTER!"
Fang Yuan, FAKE HUMBLE: "I have NATURAL RIZZ… I mean, strength."
Xiao Die: "MISS, HE'S GONNA GET FOLDED!"
Fang Yuan: "Watch me NO DIFF this monkey."
FANG YUAN VS. MONKEY KING (IT'S GIVING ANIME FINALE)
Fang Yuan sat down, looking like a TWIG next to the MONKE COLOSSUS.
Monkey King: "HOWL?" (Translation: "BRO, YOU SERIOUS?")
Fang Yuan: "Let's RIZZ IT UP."
BEGIN.
Fang Yuan HELD HIS GROUND, pretending to STRUGGLE (but internally laughing).
SLOWLY… Fang Yuan PUSHED BACK, making it look HARD (but it wasn't).
SLAM. Monkey King LOST.
SILENCE.
Then—CARAVAN ERUPTS.
Random Merchant: "HOLY GYATT, HE NO-DIFFED THE MONKE KING?!"
Brother Qiang & Co.: "WE TRIED TO BULLY THAT?!" (immediately REGRETTING LIFE CHOICES)
Shang Xin Ci: "Hei Tu… you AMAZE ME."
Fang Yuan, FAKE MODEST: "All for you, my lady." (INTERNALLY: "Step one of MANIPULATION ARC complete.")
AFTERMATH (IT'S GIVING GLOW-UP MONTAGE)
Shang Xin Ci tries to give Fang Yuan 150 PRIMEVAL STONES.
Fang Yuan REFUSES like a SIGMA MALE ("I do it for LOYALTY, not money!")
Xiao Die is SHOOK. ("Maybe he's not OHIO TRASH after all…")
Zhang Zhu is SUS. ("This guy's TOO GOOD to be true…")
Over the next 20 DAYS, Fang Yuan:
✅ WINS SOME, loses some (on purpose)
✅ SOLIDIFIES his rep as CARAVAN HERO
✅ SECRETLY CULTIVATES (Bai Ning Bing feeding him her ESSENCE)
By the time they reach HUANG JIN MOUNTAIN, Fang Yuan:
🔥 RANK 2 MIDDLE STAGE
💪 CROCODILE STRENGTH GU MAXED
🐺 ZHANG ZHU FULLY SUS ("We need to YEET HIM.")
ZHANG ZHU'S SUSPICIONS
Zhang Zhu, WHISPERING TO SHANG XIN CI: "Miss, i think that… HEI TU AND BAI YUN ARE IMPOSTERS"
Shang Xin Ci: "Uncle Zhang Zhu, don't be PARANOID—"
Zhang Zhu: "NO. TRUST ME. We need to VOTE THEM OUT."
FANG YUAN'S PLAN? About to get EXPOSED.
EMERGENCY MEETING
Shang Xin Ci's tent was DEAD SILENT—Zhang Zhu had just DROPPED THE BOMB about Fang Yuan being SUS.
Zhang Zhu, WHISPERING LIKE A TWITCH MOD: "Miss, HEI TU AND BAI YUN ARE FAKE. They refused 150 PRIMEVAL STONES—who does that?! And Bai Yun? SHE'S A WOMAN."
Shang Xin Ci, SIPPING TEA LIKE A QUEEN: "Uncle Zhang Zhu, I ALREADY KNEW."
Zhang Zhu: "WHAT?!" (MALDING HARDER THAN A RANKED GAMER WHO JUST GOT GANKED)
Shang Xin Ci, SMILING LIKE A MANGA PROTAG: "If they were EVIL, why would Hei Tu HELP US in Fei Hou mountain? A TRUE VILLAIN would've just WATCHED US FAIL."
Zhang Zhu: "BUT—"
Shang Xin Ci: "TRUST ME. He's repaying kindness. I CAN FEEL IT."
Zhang Zhu, INTERNALLY SCREAMING: "MISS IS TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD!"
FANG YUAN'S 500 IQ MOVE
Meanwhile, Fang Yuan and Bai Ning Bing were SHOPPING in the GOLDEN MARKET of Huang Jin Mountain.
Fang Yuan: "Buying ALL THE MILK for my bone spear Gu."
Bai Ning Bing, SIDE-EYEING: "Aren't you worried about EXPOSING US?"
Fang Yuan: "Nah. SMART PEOPLE don't hide EVERYTHING—they let others THINK they've figured them out."
Bai Ning Bing: "…So you're GASLIGHTING them into trusting us?"
Fang Yuan: "PRECISELY."
ZHANG ZHU'S MALDING CONTINUES
Three days passed. NO PROBING. NO SUSPICION.
Bai Ning Bing, SMIRKING: "Looks like your BIG BRAIN PLAN failed."
Fang Yuan, GRITTING TEETH: "Shang Xin Ci is TOO SMART—she's PLAYING DUMB to avoid conflict."
Bai Ning Bing: "So… NOW WHAT?"
Fang Yuan: "TIME FOR PLAN B. I'll CONFRONT HER DIRECTLY."
FANG YUAN'S SIGMAPLAY
Fang Yuan marched into Shang Xin Ci's tent like a SIGMA MALE ON A MISSION.
Fang Yuan: "Lady Zhang, let's PARTNER UP. I'll borrow goods, SPLIT PROFITS 50/50."
Zhang Zhu, EYE TWITCHING: "ON WHAT BASIS?!"
Fang Yuan: "On the basis that I'M HIM." (UNSPOKEN BUT IMPLIED)
Shang Xin Ci, GIGGLING: "Hei Tu, you're FUNNY. Alright, DEAL."
Zhang Zhu: "MISS, NO—"
Shang Xin Ci: "TRUST." (SIMPLE. ELEGANT. DEVASTATING.)
TWITCH CHAT REACTS:
💀 "FANG YUAN REALLY JUST RIZZED HIS WAY INTO A BUSINESS DEAL"
🍿 *"SHANG XIN CI OUT HERE PLAYING 5D CHESS WHILE ZHANG ZHU'S STUCK ON TIC-TAC-TOE"*
🐍 "BRO'S GASLIGHTING SO HARD EVUE THE READERS ARE QUESTIONING REALITY"