Do I exist?
I'm surrounded by billions of buildings. I feel like I've been walking these streets for centuries without stopping.
They're always packed. Day or night, there are always people. But not just any people. There are many groups of people. Whether they're two, three, or ten, there's always someone with someone.
I don't know what they're talking about, and I don't understand what they're saying. I can't see their faces, I can't look over their shoulders. There are voices I can't even give a body to, I don't recognize their identity.
He's with her. She's with that one. That one with that one. All of them with all of them.
"Can I join?"
I asked a group. I didn't understand what they were saying, but they sounded annoyed.
"Can I join?" I asked another group. They completely ignored me.
I'm alone. Why can't I be with anyone?
Why?
Why won't they come near me? I want them to come near me...
Everyone is unique
Every person has something different about them. Whether it's their clothing, their indecipherable voice, or their expressions. From time to time, I try to look at their faces, but I see nothing but blackness.
Yes. Whenever I look ahead, half of my vision goes black. If I look up, searching the sky, I see nothing. The darkness consumes me. If I look down, I only see the ground and the shoes of the people around me.
Each one has different colored shoes. Some wear boots, others sandals, and others even go barefoot.
That's when I realize, everyone wears shoes. No. It's not that. Everyone has feet. Everyone has legs. But what about me?
I look down again and realize I'm wearing nothing. I have nothing, I'm not naked, I'm simply nothing. But that's absurd, isn't it? I'm here, but I'm not taking my place. If so, why don't I exist? What part of me exists?
I'm a white dot swimming in a black sea.
If I were a bird flying over the city, I'd see tons of people. But something that stands out even more than the crowd is that empty space.
Could you say that space is really empty?
- I don't know, I'm a pigeon.
Are you a dove, dove?
-Yes, I'm a bird that flies through the skies, in urban areas, looking for scraps of food.
So, what am I?
-You don't know?
No.
-You're nothing, or at least that's how I see it. Because I don't see anything.
I'm nothing? Impossible.
-Yes, you're nothing, because I don't see anything. But I am talking to something, right?
What do you mean? I'm a white hole, therefore, I am something. Right?
-No. What you think you are is actually the lack of something. That's why you are nothing. You, a white void, are the lack of something.
And so, how is it that I can speak? How am I here with you?
-That nothingness is already something, because that nothingness has a voice. And even if it didn't have a voice, it would still be something, because it's something that exists. It may not be something material, but whoever it is, if you ask what's in that space, they'll tell you 'nothing.'"
-You are 'nothing'
How can nothing exist?
-There is a void in which there is nothing; therefore, the nothingness present in that void is something, even if it doesn't exist.
So, do I exist?
When I asked that question, the dove flew away, flying toward the horizon. The one I couldn't see.
-Yes. You exist.
Someone's speaking behind me—a familiar voice. But when I turned around, I didn't see anyone.
Wait, there's no one here?
I went around in circles, but I didn't see anyone. That sea has dried up, there's not a drop of life in these streets, but I can see everything.
The ground, the street, the sky, the buildings, the sidewalks, the benches. Everything. I can see EVERYTHING.
I raised my arm in front of me. I can see him, I can see myself. I see myself.
I have a shape that defines me, a body that's mine. Is it mine? Do I really have a body all to myself? When I realized this, the truth was revealed to me. It's a body all to myself, yes. That's why no one will ever see it.
No one will know who I am, except myself-
"Liar."
A voice, a person, is speaking to me, now facing me. I don't know who it is, but I know whose voice it is. And can he see me?
"I know who you are, too."
I heard another voice. And as soon as I heard it, I remembered. I remembered that I'd forgotten something.
-I forgot that blue hole, floating in a black sea.
I woke up from the dream.