"Huh? What's that sound?" Kotetsu Hagane looked outside the village gates.
"What's wrong?" Izumo Kamizuki followed Kotetsu's gaze, peering out into the mist.
Through the dense fog, a black blur raced toward them at high speed.
"Nani?!" The gatekeepers were startled. "Are we under attack?!"
Both drew their kunai and assumed battle positions.
The shadow approached fast, and a wild voice echoed from the distance: "Move aside! Move aside! Final sprint!!"
The two gatekeepers sheathed their weapons with matching expressions of exasperation.
Moments later, Might Guy emerged from the mist, running at full speed with Kakashi Hatake slung across his back like a ragdoll.
Guy screeched to a halt in front of the gate. Kakashi was flung off his back, crashing into the ground.
"Number one!!" Guy declared, panting. "Ah! Kakashi!"
Kotetsu and Izumo: "..."
Then another shout rang out from behind: "OHHHHHH!!"
"Second place!" Rock Lee appeared with Naruto's turtle shell strapped to his back.
Kotetsu squinted. "What kind of race is this...?"
Izumo muttered, "Who the hell knows..."
Then they both looked at Lee in disbelief. "...This kid's living like some kind of green-skinned lunatic."
"Lee! You're still lacking in training!" Guy shouted as he tended to the half-dead Kakashi.
"Yes, sir! Next time I'll give everything to claim first place!" Lee saluted energetically.
"Before that, I have to tell you some tragic news!" Guy said gravely.
"W-What news?!" Lee asked, gulping.
Guy slowly turned toward him. "Lee! You're not second place!"
Kakashi, barely conscious, grumbled: "I'm the third place..."
Kakashi rolled his eye: "...Thanks a lot."
"NANI?!" Lee dropped to his knees in anguish while Guy cackled like a madman.
Kotetsu and Izumo: "...These people are mentally ill."
At that moment, Naruto and the others finally arrived, strolling casually through the gates.
"Yo!" Naruto greeted the gatekeepers cheerfully.
The group behind him all wore the same exasperated expression as they watched Guy and Lee's insanity.
"Yosh! Everyone's here!" Guy turned back with a smile. "Let's go report to Lady Tsunade!"
"Um..." Sakura raised her hand timidly.
"Hm? What is it, Sakura?" Guy asked.
"Kakashi-sensei..." Sakura glanced at Kakashi, who was still sprawled face-down.
"Kakashi?" Guy turned around. "AH! KAKASHI! What's wrong?! Why are your eyes rolled back?! To the hospital! Quickly!"
---
Konoha Hospital
Kakashi slowly opened his eye...
"Ah! He's awake!" Lee shouted, attracting everyone's attention.
"Ah~ not again..." Kakashi sighed. He genuinely considered buying an annual pass for the hospital. At this point, everyone just assumed he was constantly injured.
"Thanks, Kakashi." Tsunade walked into the room and looked at Naruto. "Why do you always end up dragging Kakashi into this mess?"
"Haha~" Naruto scratched his head. "I was saving people...hehe..."
"Saving your brother-in-law?" Tsunade sneered.
Naruto glanced at the dark clouds outside the window. "Such sunny weather today..."
Everyone: "..."
"Lady Tsunade." Kakashi tried to sit up, only to collapse in pain.
"Oh~" Naruto noticed the blanket slipping off Kakashi's face and smirked mischievously.
"Don't push yourself, Kakashi." Tsunade interjected. "I already diagnosed you. You'll be in Konoha Hospital for at least a week, and you'll need another day after that to be mission-ready."
Kakashi immediately lay back down.
"Tch~" Naruto clicked his tongue in frustration, then grinned happily when he realized Kakashi would be bedridden for over ten days.
Boom! Tsunade punched Naruto on the head.
"You brat! Keep working on your mission!"
"Why?! I'm just a Genin!" Naruto yelled. "My squad leader is hospitalized, one of my teammates defected! I quit! I'm going on strike!"
"What did you just say?!" Tsunade stepped forward, cracking her knuckles.
Shizune quickly restrained her. "Naruto! You received information from Sasori about Sasuke! Don't waste time! Jiraiya-sama already got beaten by Tsunade-sama once over this..."
"Hmph!" Tsunade shoved Shizune aside. "The new Jōnin squad leader and your new teammates are already selected! You'll depart for Tenchi Bridge in five days!"
"Why...?!" Naruto slumped. "I'm just a kid..."
Tsunade scoffed. "Oh? So now you admit you're a kid?"
"..." Naruto's demeanor suddenly shifted. "Fine! Take me to meet the new members!"
---
"Ugh~" Naruto wandered the streets of Konoha. "Since I haven't run away yet, can't I just walk dogs and catch cats? I'm only a Genin..."
Just then, someone behind him coughed: "Ahem."
Naruto ignored it. "Probably another weirdo from HQ."
After a few steps, someone else coughed again: "Ahem~!"
Naruto instinctively turned his head.
"Long time no see, Naruto," the cloaked figure said.
"Huh?" Naruto squinted. ". . . Uh, bro, who are you again?"
"...It's me."
Naruto furrowed his brow, scanning the figure, but he had no clue who it was.
A bug slowly crawled out from under the cloak.
Naruto's face lit up in realization. "Ah! Ah~! You're that guy! That one!"
"Sorry, forgot your name..." Naruto laughed sheepishly.
The cloaked man responded calmly, "Even if it's been a long time, you should at least recognize your teammates."
Naruto stared at the figure—completely covered except for his eyebrows. Who the hell could recognize someone like this?!
"I'll tell you why," the man continued, "because the one who speaks first always suffers..."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. That gloomy tone...
"Damn it!!" Naruto suddenly exclaimed.
"...Aburame Shino," the cloaked figure corrected him.
"Haha~ sorry, your presence is just way too low..." Naruto laughed awkwardly.
BOOM! Suddenly, a large dog fell from a tree and crushed Shino beneath him.
"Yo~!"
"Yo! Chiya! I know this one!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Dumbass! I'm Akamaru!" barked the dog.
"Uh~" Naruto scratched his head, clearly mixing up the names.
"You damn idiot! Don't you know how to greet me, Naruto?!" yelled Kiba Inuzuka, standing on Akamaru's back.
"You're just the poop-scooper. Chiya's the real MVP." Naruto waved dismissively.
"A**hole! My name's Akamaru!" Akamaru barked furiously.
"Bastard! Shino, don't stop me! I'm gonna kill him!" Kiba roared. "Wait—Shino?!"
Naruto pointed at Shino, still pinned beneath Akamaru.
"AH! Shino! Are you okay?! Sorry, man!" Kiba scrambled to get Akamaru off him.
"Since you're both here..." Naruto turned, grinning.
A white-eyed, dark-haired figure peered from behind a tree.
"Long time no see."
"Hinata!"
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