I am Racist.


…

I mean, my name is Racis T.

I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.

One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.

That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.

Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.

But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.

All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.

Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.

But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.

Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.

Because, well—there was an afterlife.

And it was absolutely not what I wished for.
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I hurled a chunk of land itself at him.


And then, I made him crash to the ground harder than I fell for my high school girlfriend. I used to walk ten steps behind her… until the police told me to stop calling her my girlfriend and following her.


Yet after all that, Malthus was still breathing.


We were both lying side by side like two friends tired after cursing each other's entire generation.


His chest rising and falling like a dramatic teenage girl who just read her crush's chat but didn't reply for psychological dominance.


"As if something like that could kill me."


"That something like that was everything that could hold me accountable for murder in a civilised world."


"As long as Humans exist, no world is civilised."


"Dude, you are out here invading others homes and humans are the ones uncivilized? Your double standards are bigger than your double chin."


Chapter 82 - If I Don’t Die, I’m Killing That Child