Man...
Where do I even begin?
Yes! Hello, my name is Matthew Patel. I was one of Ramona's Ex-Boyfriends.
WAS. But I'm over her now. She's not really worth it.
Turns out, after getting my ass pummeled by the very recent BEST FRIEND of mine.
Your life takes a turn in the most weird ways. In a good way, of course.
So imagine my surprise when I get asked by this... mysterious woman who looks emo and hot.
???: "Say... Wanna go somewhere private?"
Matthew: "Huh?"
You wanna know what happened to me when she asked this ridiculous question?
Of course, I said yes-- but we'll get to that part later!
Here's what happened!
It all started when my best of mine left me alone with his boss...
Matthew: "Excuse me! I ordered one Latté Cappuccino-"
Julie: "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU F**KING HOBO!"
Matthew: "I AM NOT A HOBO, YOU HAG! I'M PUBESCENT!"
Julie: "WHAT AN AMAZING EXCUSE! BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ONE THAT I SEE EVERY DAY!"
Hobo: "Hey! I just wanted to take a seat!"
Hobo: "Stands up and walks away... People are rude these days..."
Matthew: "Look... You're a nice woman--"
Julie: "$50."
Matthew: "EXCUSE ME?!"
Julie: "Take it or leave it."
Matthew: "That shit is overpriced! Like hell I'm buying it!"
Julie: "Guess you're gonna be hungry with your stomach growling for the rest of the day."
Stomach: "Coughs... Sprite, please--" / Brain: "I told you to stop taking that McDonald's Sprite! You're a disgrace!" / Heart: "Weren't you the one who told him to drink it--"
Matthew: "Fine! I'm not buying, but I'll do whatever you ask me to do. Some demon slaying, exorcism, demon contracts, etc, and whatever."
Julie: "No-- Hmm... Actually, there is something I want you to do."
...
...
...
Matthew: "I can't believe I agreed to this..."
Julie: "I want you to join this party that I was invited to. A bunch of freaks are there, so I think you'll fit in there."
Matthew: "Why don't you just go up to them and just straight up say 'No'?"
Julie: "And straight up waste my time with them rather than my beloved Y/N? Please get out of here, nigg--"
Matthew: "Okay, okay, you don't have to say that. I'll go, geez!"
Matthew: "Oh, my dear best friend of mine, you're so cooked with all these ladies coming after your ass."
Matthew: "Praying for your pelvis is all I can do for you..."
As Matthew walks like an idiot and daydreams without noticing someone in front of him, he bumps into them accidentally, causing their drink to spill on them.
???: "AH! My worst shirt was drenched! You...! You'd better pray for your life because I'm going to-- GUH!"
Matthew brings his hand to the guy's stomach, making him unconscious.
Matthew: "Ah... It was amazing to take one of these guys down back then... Now? I feel weird because... I'm a changed man? Ah, whatever, I'm gonna get a drink."
INTERMISSION!
Would you be interested in something that you could include in your stories?
Anything that gets your readers pumped and ready to go?
Personalities that interest you and you wanna see more?
INTRODUCING!
PERSONALITY DUSTS!!!

(NOT THE REAL IMAGE OF THE PRODUCT)
These bad boys can really get your stories pumping and boost your Y/N's to the max!
It can really improve your way of life and how you work on it! / Employee: "Really--" / Of course not, get back to writing on my lemon, slave. / Employee: "Aw man..."
Tch! Bunch of d*ckwads, I tell you.
What? Don't believe me? Here, have a look!
(Love your stories, MEME-Corp)
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Velvette:I-I'm coming!!
Y/N:Me too!!
With one final thrust you finished inside her as she moaned in pleasure.As the sensation began to die down Velvette got off of you your essence spilled.
Charlie:I think we're gonna need a new bed after this.
As you were recovering someone moved your butt so that way your feet was touching the bed like a yoga position.
Y/N:W-Wait what?!

Carmilla:It's my turn to feed.
She said flicking her tongue.
Y/N:W-Wait! Can we do anything else?!
Carmilla:Are you into Cock and ball torture?
Y/n:...(Defeated)Carry on.
She dug in and began to eat her salad.
Y/N:Ghhh!Mmmmm!...Aahh!!
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Whoa! Okay, that's enough of that! Cut the feed! This is an advertisement, not a fucking porn ad that you see in Pornhub where you get an enlargement pill for your penis that didn't work because you thought it did and now you have an ant size of your wee-wee!!!
Employee: "Sir, are you okay--" / Shut up before I fuck you in front of your wife!
Sigh...! Anyway, as you saw, one of our, if not one of the best-selling products that is in high demand!
HAREM DUST!
Yes, dear customer sir! That is one of the most potent ones you'll get on stock! And it is not only unlimited but also for only $99.99! Yes! A fair price indeed!
Employee: "Sir, we have a problem."
What is it? Can't you see I'm busy here?!
Employee: "Sir, one of our harem dusts got stolen."
WHAT?!
Employee: "There's a note they left behind."
Let's see...
Note: Yes, hello! I am the thief who stole your Harem Dust. Why, you ask? Well, it's for my future stories, of course! Like hell I'm buying it with how overpriced it is! So I'm taking it away and giving it to authors who need it.
P.S. Ovegain is right behind you, stealing your harem dust.
Ovegain: "Hehehe... Mine all mine--"
Before he tries to escape, a hand grabs his shoulder tightly.
Ovegain: "Heh? Get off of me! Don't grab my damn shoulder, you piece of shi-- Ohhhhh... Hi there, mister!"
Hi there to you too! Can I ask why you're stealing that harem dust from me when I'm having an advertisement in the making?
Ovegain: "Because I--"
Don't answer. I'm doing you raw.
Ovegain: "Uh-- What?"
...

TV: "Never sneeze, never freeze, and always seize."
TV: "Personality Dust. For only $̶9̶9̶.̶9̶9 $9.99."
Matthew: "What the fuck was that?"
Person: "I don't know, but the ending was nice. I wish I were this Ovegain guy. Hey, wanna make out after this?"
Matthew: "Ew, fuck no. I'm sorry, dude, but you really fucking stink."
As Matthew walks away, the man frowns and slumps down.
Person: "...I even wore my best clothes with Axe Body spray all over me."
...
Julie: "I want you to go to this party that I was invited to. It says here that it's gonna be 'lit'. As if I trust that. Go over there and see what's up."
Matthew: "Like hell I'm going there!--"
Julie: "Here's your coffee."
Matthew: "Right away, ma'am!"
Matthew: "I can't believe I actually agreed to do this..."
Leaning on a desolate corner, Matthew watches the party go on, leaving him out all alone by his lonesome.
Matthew: "Sigh... What am I even doing here..."
???: "You too, huh?"
Matthew: "Hmm?"
Glancing to his left, he notices a lady beside him, glancing at him too before looking away.
Matthew: 'I didn't even sense her beside me... Is she trying to be a ninja?'

???: "?"
Matthew: "Oh... Uh- shoot. I forgot to introduce myself."
Matthew: "Clears throat... My name's Matthew. Matthew Patel. My friends call me Hobo for whatever reason... It might be because of my clothes."
???: "You just realized that now? Chuckles... Lynette. Lynette Guycott."
Matthew: "Lynette... Guycott... Hey, aren't you Todd's girlfriend?"
Lynette: "And you must be Ramona's First Ex-Boyfriend--" / Matthew: "Was."
Lynette: "Hmm? What changed...?"
Matthew: "My noggin, getting my shit wrecked by a guy."
Lynette: "Who?"
Matthew: "Y/N."
Lynette: "Ah, that guy, yeah, I know of him."
Matthew: "Like... know him know him or know him 'know him'?"
Lynette: "He's just a guy that helps people for some reason. Don't know why he's doing it, but I'm here now because of him."
Matthew: "...He's a good guy."
Lynette: "You're not even gonna question why he helped me?"
Matthew: "...I don't really care. It's his personal life. Shrugs... If he wants to tell me what he wants to say, then I'm all for it. I won't force him."
Lynette: "...And if I wanted to say what actually happened?"
Matthew: "Please! As if I wanted to know how he did it. I'm just glad I got to talk to a beautiful lady like you near me! Hahaha!"
Lynette: "..."
Lynette rubs her left arm as she looks away, all shy with a small blush, leaking out of her indifferent expression.
Lynette: "Say... Wanna go somewhere private?"
Matthew: "Huh?"
...
Random Woman: "Where the hell is the bathroom...! I need to pee goddamnit!"
Random Woman: "Is this it?"
Just as she was about to open the door, 2 people were making out in front of her.

Random Woman: "Ugh! Gross! You're kissing a fucking Hob-ough!"
Punching the woman so hard, she bursts outside, breaking the wall, Lynette retracts her--
Matthew: "A BIONIC ARM?! SERIOUSLY?!"
Lynette: "Sorry, I should've--"
Matthew: "That is so hot!"
Lynette: "Ah~ Wait Matt- Ugh~"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Stacey: "A... A... ACHOO!"
Stacey: "Sniff... Ugh... I really wanted to go to that party..."
Stacey: "Y/NNNNNNNNN...! Sniff... I miss you..."
Stacey: "And stupid Sophie leaving me all alone here while she goes to have fun...!"
Stacey: "Stupid sister!"
Stacey: "A... A... ACHOO!!!"
Stacey: "I might as well sleep this off... Oops, gotta take the medicine first. Sniff..."
...
Pompf...
Stacey: 'Comfy... but too cold.'
Stacey: 'Ugh... You'll get to see him again tomorrow! Just sleep!'
Stacey: "Mmm... Y/N..."
...
(SUBSPACE/DREAMSCAPE)
Stacey: "Mmm..."
???: "Hey..."
Stacey: "Mmm..."
???: "Wake up, sleepyhead."
Stacey: "Mmm nooooo... sleepy time..."
???: "Chuckles... I guess you won't mind if I eat this delicious breakfast that I made for you... Sigh... I guess you won't--"
Stacey: "Gasp! Gimme that!"
Chomping down the panwaffles and slurping down the soft, warm coffee that she can gulp down easily, she lets out a sigh of relief.
Stacey: "Thank youuu...
Stacey: "Huh...?"

Stacey: "Blush... Huh?!"
Stacey: "Y-Y/N! WHY ARE YOU HERE?! YOU PERVERT!"
Y/N: "Huh?"
Stacey, seeing herself in the mirror and her hair disheveled, straightens it out to be presentable.
Stacey: "Don't be dumb! I mean, how'd you even get inside my house?!"
Y/N: "Chortles... Honey~, Your house? Is this one of your jokes that you're doing right now?"
Stacey: "H-Honey?!"
Y/N: "Sigh... I knew I should've held back last night... Now you're brain is all messed up.
Stacey: "L-Last night...?"
Tiny stomps can be heard from the hallway. It sounded like an excited goblin was going to jump.
???: "Daddy!" / Y/N: "OOF!"
The little rascal jumps and bumps hard onto his back, giggling whilst grabbing his hair with childlike energy that is boundless.
???: "Daddy! Daddy! Can I go outside and play?"
Y/N: "Not now, Oliver. Daddy won't allow you unless Mommy is ready to rise from her bed. And please stop grabbing my hair--"
Oliver: "Mommy!"
Stacey: "What the f--UOOMF!"
Catching Oliver as he jumps around in her arms, making him laugh from the way her hands hold him from the armpits.
Oliver: "Mommy, no!!! That tickles!!! Hahahaha!"
Y/N: "Don't forget about me!"
Oliver: "Daddy NOOOOOO-"

...
Oliver: "Wuwuwuwuwu... Awuwuwuwuwu..."
Y/N: "I didn't mean to--"
Stacey: "You're staying on the couch!"
Y/N: "B-But!--"
Stacey: "And that's final."
Y/N: "But I didn't..."
Looking at Oliver's face, he makes a face, clearly making fun of him.
Oliver: "Wuwuwuwu... Bleeeeeh."
Y/N: "Why you little...! Hahaha... Well played, little man. But the next time you fake cry again, that sweet revenge will be so sweet and will be mine...! MINE!"
Stacey: "Sigh... You boys... Hmm?"
Feeling a tug on her pants, she sees a little infant, grabbing her with the curiosity of a cat.
As the infant looks up at her, she mumbles:
Infant: "Ma..."
Stacey: "Aww!"
Y/N: "Hey there, little sunshine."
Stacey: "...What's her name?"
Y/N: "How do you even forget the name that you literally picked out for her?"
Y/N: "Chuckles... Never mind. Her name's Eleanor. Elea, for short."
Y/N: You said it yourself, hon. Whenever you woke up, you always woke up with a little sunshine through your window, making you groan and roll over the bed to block it out."
Y/N: "But you didn't really mind it. You'd shrug it off and smile at it anyway."
Y/N: "Hence, for our little girl's name, Eleanor. Our little sunshine."
Looking at him right now makes Stacey have a little glow in her eyes.
The way he handles the kids...
Caring for them like it's not a big deal. Those kind eyes of his were sparkling. Proud that is seriously emanating from the man that I love.
...Love?
Yeah... I do love him. It's not a secret that it was built from the ground up.
Can you blame me?
For someone who's had a lot of failing relationships back then, he's literally the only one who has been beside me when no one came to comfort me.
It's not that I wanted comfort-- No, I'm lying to myself.
I do want comfort. The warmth. The care. The gaze from the person who looks at me as if I were more than just... a girl, but a woman that he can go back home to.
I'm not one to shy away from this moment. Hell, I'd give everything to be with this man. No matter what circumstances happen.
Be it us being poor, rich, healthy, ill, or whatever, the world hits us with its bullshit.
I just wanna be the woman that he loves, and I can be there for him whenever he needs me.
Always.
Y/N: "Hey... you've been staring for quite a while... Is everything okay?"
Oliver goes to hug her leg, clearly worried in his eyes can be shown.
Oliver: "Mommy..."
Elea: "Ma... ma."
Elea tries to reach for her Mommy while she's still in her Daddy's arms, eliciting a sound of playfulness.
Stacey: "Sniff... Grabs Elea and puts her in her arms... It's nothing. Just some dust caught in my eyes."
Oliver: "I'll blow it out for you! HAAAAAA.... FWOOooH!"
Clearly, this idiot child is trying to blow away the "dust" whilst clearly on her legs, hugging it.
You dumbass child.
Y/N: "Clearly, you guys don't know how to help your mother. Let me~."
He grabs her waist and lifts her chin, and makes her look into his eyes.
Y/N: "Hey~."
Stacey: "Y/N--" / Y/N: "Hmm?"
Stacey: "H... Honey..."
Y/N: "Mmm~"
Stacey: "The kids are watching..."
Y/N: "Please, like that has ever stopped us from anything."
Y/N: "It's just a kiss. Besides, we can have more fun later tonight~."
Stacey blushes, redness covering her whole face.
Oliver: "Whoa! Mommy's all red!"
Elea: 'Giggles'
Stacey: "Quiet you...!"
Y/N: "Now~ Where were we~?"
Oliver: "Gasp! Daddy's gonna make mommy red again, Elea!"
Elea: "Kess..."
He's getting closer...
And closer...
and closer...
RING
Wait... what's that sound?
RING
"If you don't wake up, I'll eat your ass voraciously, stupendously, eagerly, raviciously to, argueably delicious fat ass I've ever seen in my entire life GYAT DAMN-"
RING
"If you don't wake up, I'll eat your ass--"
Click!
Stacey: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Crack!
Glass Shattering!
...
Poor Guy: "AH! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! AN ALARM CLOCK?! WHOEVER THREW THAT! COME OUT HERE! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT AN ALARM CLOCK, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! IT'S THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK, GODDAMNIT!"
...
...
...
Stacey: "I wish I didn't have that damn alarm clock..."