Originally, Ristarte had entertained such thoughts, yet the truth was, Aqua's aptitude for idleness surpassed all others, and she had utterly underestimated the true depravity of Kazuma!
It was only upon witnessing the ensuing spectacle that Ristarte fully grasped the true meaning of the most authentic Hero and the most realistic Goddess!
.....
[ Ever since their victory over the executive Vanir, not only had they cleared their debts but also secured an additional forty million bounty. Aqua, finding the weather too frigid, hadn't stepped foot outside the house for days.
As for Kazuma, it went without saying; he had completely devolved, spending his entire days holed up in the kotatsu, transforming into a kotatsu-monster.
His thoughts gradually drifted back to a few days prior…
Given that Vanir and Wiz were close friends, meaning they had vanquished Wiz's longtime comrade, Kazuma decided to personally apologize to Wiz, bringing Darkness along.
Darkness, gazing into the distance, seemed tinged with melancholy as she spoke of Vanir, with whom she had once shared a body: "It might sound wrong to say… but, he wasn't entirely unlikable!"
With a heavy heart, Darkness pushed open the shop door, only to find the new shop assistant, wearing that familiar mask, grinning broadly, his smile radiating an almost unnerving warmth.
"Welcome, young lady who just uttered a string of embarrassing lines at the doorstep!"
"But… he wasn't entirely unlikable," Vanir mimicked her perfectly, "Alas, we demons have no gender, so even such a shy confession won't affect me in the slightest!"
Darkness's face immediately flushed crimson, her composure shattered. Her eyes spiraled into mosquito coils as she collapsed onto the floor, hugging her knees and burying her face between them.
Wiz, beaming with delight, offered her congratulations: "I heard! Kazuma defeated Vanir and cleared his name of spy suspicions. Congratulations!"
"Let's put that aside for now…" Kazuma cut Wiz off, then pointed at Vanir: "Why is this guy so lively and unharmed after taking a massive Explosion spell? He doesn't look injured at all."
Before Wiz could answer, Vanir explained: "Even I couldn't emerge completely unscathed from such a blow! Look closely at this mask."
Upon closer inspection of the mask's forehead, they found the number " 11" etched upon it. "Explosion magic took one of my lives. This is the second-generation Vanir!"
Through Wiz's explanation, they learned that Vanir had used this opportunity to resign from his position as a Demon King's General and intended to stay at her shop, aiming to make a fortune together. He even invited Kazuma to partner with him in business.
"Man from a distant land, partnering with us in business would benefit everyone! If a good opportunity presents itself, why not discuss it with me?" ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"Hahaha, want Kazuma and Aqua to fight the Demon King? Impossible! Those two are nothing but sloths, old salted fish! You never see a salted fish flip itself over."
"Looking at these subordinates, what immense courage the Demon King must have had to recruit them back then… or rather, hire them. This so-called Demon King is practically a CEO!"
The crowd looked at the unmotivated Hero's party, then at the Demon King's General, who could casually resign. Indeed, where there are dragons, there are also phoenixes… truly formidable adversaries.
With all these subordinates being such clowns, it's truly a miracle the Demon King is still alive and well!
The Hero's party wasn't much better; otherwise, why call them formidable adversaries? No money, go adventuring and hunt monsters. Got money, slack off and enjoy. Their main philosophy is pure Zen.
The main quest? They don't even budge, or rather, Kazuma doesn't even bother looking at it. If someone wants to fight the Demon King, let them! For just a few hundred a month, it's hardly worth risking your life.
"Honestly, I'm really curious how much a part-time Demon King's General actually earns…"
His executive job wasn't going well, so he chose to work for the impoverished Wiz. It's a miracle if he makes any money! If he hadn't said demons have no gender, everyone would have already started shipping them.
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
Because the video had previously shown the future, the Holy Grail War was practically a Holy Grail War in name only. After all, who would want to snatch that contaminated, broken cup? And so, the current scene unfolded…
Shirou Emiya watched Artoria, who was also curled up in the kotatsu, speechless. She was the most thoroughly lazy of them all, becoming a kotatsu-monster just like Kazuma.
When would she emerge from that Britannian Fallen Kingdom Kotatsu?! Electricity bills are so expensive.
"I've wanted to say this for a long time, the Demon King's army is doomed sooner or later!"
Rin Tohsaka watched the reappearance of Vanir with a hint of exasperation.
Beldia died mysteriously, and now two Demon King Generals have deserted, directly firing the Devil King CEO and opening a shop in the beginner's village.
Two Demon Kings' Generals, one Hero, one Goddess! And many high-level adventurers. You call this a beginner's village? Might as well rename it the retirement village.
〜Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle World〜
"Thank goodness…"
Twilight, the Demon King, looked at the General on the screen with a relieved expression. Fortunately, I don't have subordinates who just resign on a whim.
Then the Demon King began to complain again:
"By the way, where is Dawner the Hero now? Why is he as unreliable as Kazuma!"
He had specifically left various treasure chests along the way, trying every possible method to provide the Hero with equipment and items. He had kidnapped the princess for so long; surely, he should have arrived by now.
Hearing this, Husky glanced at the magical projection and said with some embarrassment:
"Uh, Dawner the Hero took a wrong turn…"
"Huh?!"
Twilight stumbled, nearly falling. He's even more unreliable than Kazuma! Is the princess still going to be rescued?
"Sigh…"
Twilight, the Demon King, sighed, feeling weary. No choice, he'd have to add signposts on the Hero's path later, and remove the gold coins from the treasure chests.
Dawner the Hero was already clumsy enough; he feared that after getting gold coins, he would degenerate like Kazuma.
Heroes nowadays are truly getting worse and worse. The smart Hero Kazuma is unmotivated, a complete salted fish! While the motivated Dawner the Hero is a clumsy idiot with no sense of direction.
.....
[ Thoughts return to the present…
The "partnership" was to mass-produce and sell goods from Kazuma's original world in this alternate world, and their first project was the kotatsu!
Kazuma was in charge of product development, while Vanir handled mass production and sales. But this also turned Kazuma into a shut-in again. No matter how much Megumin and Darkness called, he refused to leave the kotatsu by even half a step.
He even used all his acquired knowledge to attack Darkness and Megumin, who were trying to drag him out of the covers. This move even made Aqua look on with utter disgust.
Just as Kazuma was smugly reveling, a sudden urge to urinate struck him. He had no choice but to propose a truce, begging the two to carry him to the toilet just as he was.
Seeing such a useless Kazuma, everyone was at their wits' end. Who, then, unhesitatingly threw him outside! ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha, their first product is a waste-making machine, the famous Fallen Kingdom Kotatsu. Quite something."
"Kazuma's uselessness far exceeds imagination. After all this time, I haven't even felt the Demon King is that bad; instead, Kazuma seems more like the villain."
This Vanir is quite something; he not only saw through Aqua's identity but also knew Kazuma's background perfectly. No wonder he planned to partner with Kazuma to make a fortune.
Although Kazuma seemed quite useless at this moment, no one could bring themselves to dislike him, because it was simply too real. In the dead of winter, no normal person would escape the kotatsu's seal!
.....
[ Eventually, Kazuma was forced out of the house, leading everyone to the equipment shop, where he obtained the katana he had always dreamed of!
Witnessing this scene, the brawny man with the red mohawk crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall with a hint of profoundness: "Is that your new partner?"
Kazuma exchanged glances with the brawny man, then lowered his voice: "New partner!"
The red-haired, brawny man pushed open the door and stepped out into the light, not forgetting to turn back and utter in a deep voice: "Hmph, perhaps I have just witnessed the birth of a new Hero!"
And Kazuma's custom-made dung beetle-colored armor was also complete. Kazuma then eagerly donned this limited-edition armor!
"Clang, clang, clang—" Kazuma tried to move but found he couldn't budge at all; his strength was insufficient to wield it. So, he had to abandon the armor, but at least he finally had a handy new weapon!
Kazuma tucked the long blade behind his waist, dramatically flicking his cloak: "From now on, I'll be relying on you, partner!"
Alas, the coolness lasted less than three seconds. After only two steps, the long blade accidentally knocked over a greatsword from a nearby rack!
"Sorry… sorry… sorry!" After diligently apologizing and setting it upright again, he once more dramatically flicked his cloak and pushed open the door.
This time, it didn't even last a second, because the long blade tucked behind his waist got directly stuck in the door. He couldn't even take a single step out.
And so, under the gazes of everyone who saw him as useless, Kazuma pushed the door flat, then tried again and again… ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"This tailor, I've tolerated you for too long! Why are you everywhere? Is it really okay for a tailor to constantly act like such a big shot?"
Hahaha, everyone almost died laughing at the tailor's feigned demeanor; this tailor has way too much drama!
Honestly… this red-haired old man's gravitas is genuinely high. If we didn't know he was just a tailor, we'd really think he was some major figure!
It was only when everyone saw Kazuma in his green-colored dung beetle armor that they completely lost it… This is the power of nature; he turned green and became stronger!
And the most important question is, why is a thief wearing heavy armor?! Aren't you supposed to be a sneaky ambush type? How can you ambush anyone wearing that?
.....
〜Re: Zero - Starting Life in Another World〜
"Hahaha, cool things don't suit you, fellow countryman Kazuma… chuckle… haha."
Subaru Natsuki, who had also recently arrived in an alternate world, couldn't hold back his laughter watching Kazuma's coolness last less than three seconds.
"There it is, a classic dog-world problem!"
Hanging the long blade horizontally at your waist looks cool, but it seems to lower your intelligence. You can't even get out the door; coolness lasts less than three seconds.
The situation was incredibly awkward. If it's really not working out, just stick to hanging daggers; after all, it's a thief class.
.....