Chapter 143: Selfish Truth
'Right, she is the daughter of a prestigious family where every meal is prepared by groups of professional cooks at the same time, so expecting her to know how to make dinner was my mistake. What am I supposed to do then? Tell her to go buy food from the town? It's already too late for that, and the town is far enough that letting a woman like her go out alone at this hour would be nothing but troublesome. Who knows what might happen to her on the way?'
Before he could speak again, Seraphina continued in a more delighted tone, or at least it sounded that way to him, "However, I do know how to make some breakfast though."
What kind of logic was that supposed to be? Was there really any meaningful difference between preparing dinner and preparing breakfast? To him there was none. Food was food, something meant to fill an empty stomach and silence hunger for a while. So, why would it matter whether the food belonged to one category or another?
'To me it does not matter at all, but to her it probably matters a lot considering how different her lifestyle has been from mine. Anyway, it seems like there isn't much of a choice left for me now.'
Kael sighed indifferently, "Alright. I will make you dinner for tonight, but you should keep your expectations lower than ever. I am not used to feeding people."
Seraphina remained silent for a moment, then she lightly touched her chin and looked downward before responding in a calm manner, "I will keep that in mind."
'I did say that… but where am I supposed to get the ingredients from? We just arrived.'
---
Later that evening, the two of them sat across from each other at the dining table in complete silence after finishing their meal.
To his surprise, he had not only found all the ingredients he needed but they were also fresh, almost as if they had been purchased earlier that day. It felt odd at first, but the answer came quickly enough. The old man must have told someone to stock the place before they arrived.
At that moment Seraphina brushed her lips with a napkin in her usual elegant manner before looking at Kael. "You're not that bad at cooking."
Kael leaned back slightly in his chair, his expression unreadable as he asked, "Where is that coming from?"
Seraphina stayed silent for a brief second before speaking in a colder tone, "Why don't you just keep making dinner for us?"
He stared at her in mild disbelief, "Huh?"
She tilted her head a little, as though thinking her suggestion was completely reasonable, "Yes, and do not worry, you will not handle everything alone. I will be the one making breakfast in return."
He raised a brow with a distant coldness, "Why would I accept that?"
She placed her hands on the table and interlaced her fingers together before answering again, "You see, I have been considering something ever since we arrived. Since we will be living alone together from now on, we should divide our basic housework or daily necessities between us since it will save us a great deal of time in the long run. To live properly we need money, and from what I have learned so far, you are always workless, which means we currently have zero funding for our little forced family. We cannot depend on the old man's support forever, can we? We are both perfectly healthy individuals capable of earning money, so is there any reason to sit still and wait? Unless… you prefer the life of a live-in son-in-law."
Kael thought about her words for a moment then finally answered, "You've got a good point. Truth be told, I was also wondering about what to do before coming here."
Seraphina let out a quiet sigh, her shoulders relaxing only a little, "Have you decided anything?"
Kael's expression shifted in a subtle way, "Yes. I want to be an adventurer. Do you have any problem with it?"
Her reaction changed instantly.
She looked genuinely surprised as if such a choice had never crossed her mind while thinking about him. After taking a soft breath she spoke again, "I do not. But... I have some questions. Why choose such a path? You must be aware that this will take a lot from you unwillingly, even your life. And I am not sure you will be able to earn enough money by adventuring alone. In any case, you seem like an ignorant person to me who never cares about anything besides himself. You never listen to me either until you feel like it."
Kael tilted his head upward slightly, "What're you getting at?"
Seraphina fell silent for a few moments as if gathering her thoughts then her voice grew cold and commanding, "I want to earn money as well."
Kael shot her an irritated look, "Then do it? Who's stopping you? I already told you I have no intention of interfering with your life, didn't I? You're free to do whatever you want."
Seraphina did not respond right away. She took a deep breath, her expression turning complicated in a way he could not quite understand, "I'm afraid... I simply cannot do that. I need you to hear me out then give me your approval first."
'Why's she asking for my permission?'
Kael blinked slowly. "So, what is it?"
Seraphina leaned back slightly, her voice turning distant as if she had already rehearsed this line in her head many times before speaking it aloud. "I wished to join the knight orders. Am I allowed to do that?"
At the mention of her becoming a knight, his eyes widened at once and his expression grew darker and more intense. A shadow seemed to settle in the depth of his cold gray eyes as he gave her a murderous gaze and snarled, "You're not."
Seraphina froze as if time had stopped for her. Something faint and indescribable flickered in her eyes, disappearing as quickly as it appeared, then she lowered her gaze and sighed in disappointment, "I... see."
...
Soon, her lips curved upward just a little, although no spark of emotion reached her eyes, and the curve did not resemble a proper smile and not even a forced one, instead it looked like something that existed between those two things, a shape that carried nothing clear behind it. "But I have some questions for you. What are your reasons for denying my permission to become a knight? Do you believe I lack the ability to become one? Or was it simply because I am a woman?"
Kael took a long breath to steady his own annoyance, letting the air move through him slowly before he met her gaze with an intense firmness, "None. I have no grand reason for rejecting you. I did it because I wanted to. Whether you think I am trying to house-prison you or not is something I do not care about."
She stood up, the chair sliding back with a soft scrape, and she began walking toward him while her eyes dropped toward the polished marble floor as if she needed that steady pattern under her feet to hold herself together. "Is that all? Is that truly all you need to crush my dream just like that? Is it really that simple to you?"
Kael leaned back slightly and looked sideways at her, as if he hoped distance alone could dull her persistence, "Yes. I am just a selfish person, you see."
She halted right in front of him, close enough for him to feel the chill that clung to her, and she stayed silent for a moment while her long silver hair slid forward and veiled half her face. She then eased back against the table, positioning herself so she could meet his eyes with greater clarity.
Both of her hands gripped the edge of the table as if she needed something to hold onto. "Selfish, huh? You are far worse than that. You are a bastard. Do not forget that you are the one to blame for my failures to reach my dream to begin with. You arrived at the most wrong time possible. If you hadn't… maybe I would've fulfilled it already."
Kael exhaled softly, "I guess."
She brushed her hair away from her eyes with a tired motion, then covered part of her face with the same hand as if she could hide the bitterness that slipped through her voice. "To tell you the truth, this marriage means nothing to me, absolutely nothing. It took everything from me, so how could it possibly mean anything? Even so, I kept trying to make it comfortable enough for both of us, and that must be what you thought I was doing, right?"
Kael tilted his head a little, "Huh? Maybe."
Seraphina exhaled deeply as if trying to release something heavy from her chest, "But all of that is just a lie. As it turned out, I am more selfish than you. Hard to believe, I know, but that is the honest truth. All this time I have been pretending to be your cold wife who was willing to accept everything, only to slip into your good side somehow. I thought that approach might let me control you or at least soften you, but you are far more difficult to break than I ever imagined, so I failed. You see, I am desperate… desperate enough to pursue my dream at any cost."
Kael responded without hesitation, "I know."
Seraphina reached for a knife resting near her on the table and lifted it slowly, bringing it in front of her while her fingers slid across the flat side of the blade in a strangely calm motion, "That is even better. It means I do not need to explain anything further. So tell me, at what cost will you give me your permission, hm? I am willing to give you anything. Anything you want."
Kael's expression cooled instantly, "You want to buy me, huh? You should know that once I decide something no amount of prize can change my mind anymore. So just fuck off."
Then, she touched the tip of the knife to his chin, only lightly, enough to guide his face but not enough to alarm him, and Kael did not flinch at all although it tickled slightly. She leaned forward just a little, "Are you perhaps unsatisfied with me?"
Kael looked directly into her cold blue eyes, "I am."
Her lips curled upward by the slightest fraction although her expression did not match it at all, "I see. So all I need to do is satisfy you in every possible way, is that what you are implying?"
Kael gave her a blank stare, "W-what? No. Why would you even think that?"
She blinked once, almost confused at his confusion, "Oh, that is what my mother told me."
'Then your mother needs some serious treatment. No, your whole family needs it.'
He drew a shallow breath and met her with an equally cold expression, "Listen, princess, I want to make this very clear… I have no interest in you whatsoever."
Hearing that, she lifted the knife slightly higher, forcing him to raise his head, then she set it aside but in the same motion grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to her face with a swift, practiced gesture, "If that is what you believe… then I will just have to make you take interest in me, won't I?"
'How far does she plan to take this? This is just so stupid.'
At that moment, his eyes drifted to her lips, noticing how they trembled slightly, although he quickly looked away in irritation, "Tsk. You're so fucking annoying."
He narrowed his eyes toward the knife on the table, letting his gaze rest on it longer than necessary as his thoughts grew colder and heavier, 'Now, let's think of a way to get out of this situation I am in now. Since I've never faced something like that before I have no idea what to do. That means I have to do it in my own way. So, should I just stab her in the abdomen? Or should I just beat the fuck out of her? Both...'
His mind had not even finished reaching the end of that chain of thoughts when the room around him began to tilt subtly at first, then roll upward and downward as if the walls and floor had lost their balance entirely, and before he could react to that sudden shift everything slipped into nothing.
---
When sensation returned, he found himself laying directly on the sofa situated near the table, and the transition from sitting upright to sprawled across the cushions happened so abruptly that it left him unable to process anything immediately.
How had he ended up this way? Wasn't he sitting on the chair just a second ago, so how could he be laying on the sofa now without even realizing the moment he moved? What happened to his senses? He couldn't even see this coming from the very beginning, which was the part that irritated him the most.
What just happened, really?
'Fuck! It seems like I'm still not used to this body shape of mine yet. Ah, my head hurts.'
He touched his temple with the tips of his fingers, intending only to check where exactly the pain settled, but the skin beneath felt a little colder than it should've been, which made him pause for a moment in confusion. Now that he thought about it properly, why was his head so wet? And why was faint smoke curling up from his body as if he had been struck by lightning instead of simply collapsing?
'Wait a moment... is it perhaps lightning magic? Did she do something to me while I was thinking? It's...'
The thought did not have the chance to finish forming in his mind, because when he looked up he saw a silhouette standing directly in front of him with her arms crossed together, and there were blue flames dancing around her eyes like quiet, controlled fury that made the entire scene feel colder.
She remained silent for a moment, simply watching him with that frozen expression, then finally spoke in a cold venomous voice that held no hint of hesitation, "Spread your legs."
Kael blinked slightly, needing a moment to understand whether he heard her correctly, "Pardon?"
'Isn't that supposed to be a male's line? Why's she the one asking for it?'
She released a sigh that carried no warmth, something empty and chilled, "Do I need to repeat myself?"
He turned his head slightly, irritated but also trying not to provoke her further in this state, "No need."
After taking another breath she lowered herself onto the sofa beside him quietly, the movement done with far more calmness than the situation deserved, and she remained silent again before brushing away a lock of her hair with a finger, tucking it behind her ear with a deliberate slow motion that did not reassure him at all.
'Something really seems suspicious to me.'
His expression tightened into something strange and uneasy as he stared at her profile, "Hey, tell me something... is your dream or whatever it is really more precious than your sanity?"
Seraphina stayed silent long enough for him to wonder whether she even intended to answer, then her gaze drifted toward the window, "I don't know... how to answer that question. You're..."
'Alright, I'm getting out of here.'
At that point he slowly gathered his legs together and prepared to push himself off the sofa, planning to jump away from this situation entirely, but before he could even finish that thought her eyes snapped toward him sharply.
He stared back at her blankly, accepting it with reluctant annoyance, 'Guess... I'm not that fast enough.'
Then Seraphina leaned forward in a way that made him freeze, and her hands moved behind her back doing something out of his sight. He had no idea what she was trying to accomplish until the sound of unzipping reached his ears, and only then did he understand what she was doing.
His eyes widened slightly, "Princess... what are you exactly trying to do?"
She met his gaze with a cold, almost curious look, "You'll find out soon."
'What else is there to find out? She wants to get naked infront of me? How shameless can she be? I expected much better from a noblewoman like her at least. And the most infuriating thing is that she's willing to go this far only for a simple approval.'
Seraphina continued as if his presence did not matter in the slightest, her fingers shifting under the fabric as she began to slide the gown off her shoulder slowly yet steadily without showing any hesitation.
At that moment, the magiclight hanging from the ceiling flickered once, then shut down completely, leaving the room in what should have been complete darkness although it did not turn dark at all. The instant the artificial light disappeared, moonlight poured through the wide window with perfect clarity and covered the parts of the living room in a soft pale glow.
If that alone was not strange enough, the moonlight seemed to fall directly on Seraphina, outlining her silhouette and the slow movement of her hand against the pale brightness.
So, Kael lifted his gaze toward her face somberly in order to see her expression more clearly, wondering what exactly she was thinking now that she stood illuminated like that.
But there was nothing in her face, nothing at all. She looked entirely empty of emotion. Her skin glowed pale beneath the moonlight, though pale was not the right word because her complexion held a richness that made it seem impossibly smooth and flawless. Her blue eyes glimmered like frozen ice untouched by warmth. In that moment her beauty felt cold and ethereal, as if in a field of endless frost only three petals survived. Two glowed blue with frozen light while the last shone pink, and the moonlight did not dull her features. It made her look unreal.
His face warmed slightly.
Even though her clothing was gradually slipping away, he kept his gaze locked on her face, almost stubbornly.
'At this rate she will absolutely end up naked. Then what was the point of everything I endured until now? What was the point of holding back despite all the insults I took? Why did I decide not to kiss her? Wasn't it because she was so sad? Wasn't it because she cried on her wedding day? Wasn't I the reason she shed those tears? She didn't want me to kiss her, so I didn't. But now she is trying to break everything I forced myself so hard to preserve. If something between us happens now, what meaning would it even hold? Would there be any meaning left in any of it? Will there?'
Seraphina finished unzipping the last portion of her gown with a single smooth motion, then she gave him a cold smile before letting the gown slip downward completely.
Kael did not see any of it because he had already screwed his eyes shut and shouted with a mix of panic and urgency, "That's enough. You're doing this for my permission, aren't you? Fine, you have it. I allow you to become a knight. So just stop already."
'I've really done it now.'
A long silence filled the space before Seraphina let out a deep exhausted sigh, "You certainly know how to waste time, don't you? In the end, it seems all I needed to do was remove my clothes to force you to change your mind. Anyway, you can at least take a look, I suppose, since I was ready to give you anything."
Kael did not respond. He simply unbuttoned his shirt in a hurried clumsy way and tossed it toward her before turning his face away, "I don't want to."
Seraphina remained quiet for a while as though she needed time to think, then her voice came out cold, "Tsk. You've got the most disgusting personality I've ever seen, you know that. Now open your eyes, there's nothing you can see anyway."
Kael opened his eyes slowly, unsure but slightly assured by her tone, yet the moment his vision adjusted he blinked several times in confusion, "W-what the actual fuck?"
Even though she had slipped her gown in front of him and even though her shoulder should have been bare by now and even though her chest should have been exposed already, nothing was bared at all. Instead there was another layer of clothing underneath, covering her completely as though she had planned this from the very beginning.
'Did she just trick me?'
Taking a slow breath, she stared at him with that unmistakable coldness settling over her features before muttering in irritation, "Ah, I hate you."
'How interesting!'
---
Back to the present…
[…afterwards she kept avoiding me and gave me the coldest shoulders imaginable, and that went on for several entire days without a single explanation from her.]
Serelina stayed silent for a moment longer than usual before answering.
[How fascinating! Although what you described cannot really be called proper seduction from what I know, I am still genuinely surprised that my sister of all people had that much courage to try such a method without breaking any of your bones in the process. I never imagined she had it in her. Good job surviving that disaster, brother.]
Kael allowed a slight smile to appear.
[Who do you think I am?]
Serelina answered in a voice that carried a savage edge.
[Just a weakling who got seduced simply because his wife pretended to undress in front of him. What a disappointment. No wonder my big sister keeps taking advantage of an innocent man like you.]
Kael gave her a complicated look.
[Hey, don't say it like that.]
Her reply came again, colder this time, carrying a quiet warning beneath it.
[By the way, I could not help noticing some rather harmful thoughts toward my big sister in that backstory of yours. I never believed you would do something like that again after what I did to you all those years ago.]
Kael's smile vanished instantly.
[Please, don't remind me of that.]
She replied without missing a beat.
[Alright. Since your thoughts are now filled with nothing but praise for her all the time and overflowing with l— never mind, I will let it slide this time.]
Kael raised an eyebrow, already sensing trouble.
[You are going to say something wrong, aren't you?]
She ignored him completely as she continued.
[There is still something I cannot understand. Why exactly did you reject her permission in the first place and cause all of this trouble? You never told me that. Why?]
As Kael walked along the town's stone path where people continued moving past him in steady waves, he came to a halt in the middle of that flow. His expression dimmed into something somber and full of hesitation before he released a quiet sigh.
[I don't know. It's because I think some parts of my thoughts are missing.]
He resumed walking with that lingering heaviness still clinging to him, yet while he was lost in his thoughts he suddenly received a firm bump on his shoulder from a passerby and stumbled slightly before catching himself.
Turning his head, he noticed that the passerby was a woman with short chestnut hair that moved lightly around her face, and he offered an apology, "Uh, sorry about that. I didn't notice."
The woman looked at him with a soft smile, "It's alright."
Kael continued onward until the path brought him to the familiar tavern where all his trouble had first begun. He paused again while standing before its worn entrance and lifted his gaze toward the sky where only a single star remained beside the moon as though it had refused to fade.
'Looking back at the last few years, I have changed so much, haven't I?'
---
(Chapter Ended)
To be continued...