At that moment, the still-chuckling twins had no idea how serious things were about to become.
So much so that they drew fire upon themselves, immediately attracting all of Mrs. Weasley's attention.
Thus began the third Weasley World War.
"Fred! George! What are you laughing at? Is this funny to you?"
"I nearly forgot about you two—do you really think you're any better than your brother?"
"Mum—!" the pair protested together with cheeky grins, "We're still young—"
"Young? What young?" Mrs. Weasley's eyes blazed with fire. "When I was your age, I was already married! And you? Good-for-nothing layabouts—look at your graduation results! Barely passing a single subject makes me blush with shame for you. If Yu hadn't invested in you, you'd be homeless by now—no wonder no girl gives you a proper look—"
Fred and George exchanged glances, gradually realizing this wasn't some new kind of family game—
They silently cursed their luck, knowing they'd accidentally stepped into the whirlpool of family conflict, and immediately defended themselves:
"We don't have time for romance—we're participating in a major Ministry of Magic classified project organized by Yu—!"
Their words were cut short by Mrs. Weasley, who held up their own family as an example:
"Percy, your own brother, not only works at the Ministry, managing all of Diagon Alley, but even participates in project coordination—how does he find time for romance?"
"Why don't you two reflect on yourselves? After all these years of not finding girlfriends, haven't you tried hard enough?"
Comparisons breed hurt—even with their own brother, this was still another version of "other people's children," making the twins' smiles vanish from their faces.
This was the second time Percy had stabbed them in the heart!
Stung once again by their brother's success, the twins protested in unison, escalating the conflict further.
Amid the chaos, Jane's companions finally found an opportunity to whisper in her ear.
"Mum's about to go mad," Ginny said very quietly. "Dad and Percy have been swamped with work at the Ministry and haven't been able to come home. She was already worried and fuming, then Charlie comes back and tells her he doesn't plan to marry or have children—I think that broke her—"
"Just like a dragon breathing fire," Ron muttered. "It's really Sirius's situation that got people thinking... making her worry Charlie will end up the same way."
"How long have these symptoms been going on?" Jane couldn't help but be impressed by Mrs. Weasley's intensity.
"Ever since I brought Harry back from those people," Sirius answered grimly.
He pushed his teacup away, preparing to leave—now any word related to "marriage" triggered his stress response:
"I'm going to glue that old hag's curtains shut downstairs. She's turned this place upside down, stirring up trouble everywhere. She and Kreacher have nothing in their heads except getting me married and having children—"
His godson Harry pulled a bitter face, looking traumatized:
"First Kreacher and Mrs. Black's portrait unilaterally scolded Sirius and me, then Mrs. Weasley somehow joined the battle and started on Charlie... I don't understand why they're so coordinated."
Jane couldn't help but frown as well.
This situation... they were really having a hard time.
The battle at the dining table gradually spread, and she could only catch fragments of information from Mrs. Weasley amid the arguing.
"Why don't you look at how your brother does things—Bill and my darling Fleur are preparing to get married!"
Ginny let out a "tch" sound.
Jane looked at her in surprise.
"Fleur got a temporary job at Gringotts last year and has been dating Bill ever since," Ginny said bluntly. "Mum originally didn't think highly of them, thought they weren't well-matched, had nothing in common—one steady, one frivolous... you know, that French-English accent thing."
"Mrs. Weasley thinks Bill and Fleur getting engaged after knowing each other only a year is too hasty," Hermione whispered, helping Jane understand. "She worries Bill is just being seduced by her Veela heritage rather than true love—and neither of them cooks, so she thinks they'll starve to death later."
It sounded like some kind of mother-in-law conflict.
Jane couldn't help but break into a cold sweat for Fleur.
But Ginny changed direction, her words putting Jane's mind at ease:
"But compared to that, Charlie's refusal to marry or have children hit Mum much harder. Sirius's mother's words made her alert..."
"She thinks with Kreacher around, Sirius can still live in his current rough state—what about Charlie who doesn't have a house-elf? He might become a wild man living with female ghosts."
Ginny gave a cold laugh, saying unhappily:
"So Bill, who plans to marry, has shot up in status at home like a Firebolt, and Fleur has directly become Mum's treasure—afraid she'll melt if kept in her mouth, afraid she'll break if held in her hands. Won't let her help with anything, just sits there radiating light like an art piece..."
"Mum's as anxious as if being chased by the Hogwarts Express," Ron interjected. "She wishes they'd get engaged today, married tomorrow, and have children the day after."
Ginny showed a bit of life-weary depression:
"Anyway, with one Charlie who won't marry or have children, she supports Bill and Fleur's romance with both hands and feet, no longer picky at all—calling her 'sweetheart' and 'darling' constantly until I want to vomit."
This Weasley family war lasted an entire afternoon before both sides finally ceased hostilities, waiting to fight another day.
In the evening, as everyone sat around a table full of dishes, sounds came from downstairs.
Bill and Fleur returning from Gringotts, along with Lupin who'd finished work, hurried here and greeted Jane happily.
"Darling, finally we meet again—" Fleur hugged Jane and kissed both her cheeks, "I missed you so much! Perhaps you don't know, Bill and I—we're preparing to get married!"
Ginny scowled and pulled Fleur's arms off Jane, looking even more unhappy than during afternoon tea.
Mrs. Weasley, who had been coldly warring with the twins and Charlie, once again performed a lightning-fast face change—first giving Fleur a hug, then bringing out food specially saved for her, portions that could nearly reach her head.
"Oh—sweetheart, working all day, so hard, but you're still so beautiful—"
She again launched into the classic combination of "you've gotten thinner" and "eat more," forcibly seating Fleur at the table.
Just as Jane was puzzled by the empty plates in front of Bill and Lupin, Mrs. Weasley's arms moved again:
With lightning speed, she pulled the pizza and smoked fish from in front of Fred and George, making them land on those two empty plates.
This lady's gaze swept around the dining table, then immediately targeted Charlie, who was keeping his head down trying to minimize his presence—
She straightened her face, reached out again, and the cream soup and pasta in front of Charlie also disappeared, reappearing in front of Jane.
After this redistribution of resources, the all-powerful Order of the Phoenix head chef Mrs. Weasley finally showed a satisfied, motherly smile.
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