Wizarding MBA student Draco Malfoy managed to produce multiple academic papers in just a couple of months.
Their rich content and prolific output would astound anyone who saw them.
Works like "Comparative Analysis of Wizarding and Muggle Business Models," "How Alchemy Influences the Wizarding Monetary System," "Ministry of Magic's Macroeconomic Control: The Visible Hand," "The Enduring Influence of Ancient Wizarding Families on the Ministry of Magic"... Rich and varied content, brimming with brilliance throughout.
Even Jane Yu couldn't help but regard him with newfound respect.
What a pity the wizarding world lacked publications like the Muggle Economic Research or Management World journals—otherwise he'd surely transform himself and be appointed Professor of Economics and Management at Hogwarts.
This left Draco with rather a sense of being the only sober man amongst drunkards, a lonely genius unable to find kindred spirits.
"They're all too obtuse," he sighed in frustration. "No one can comprehend my thoughts that are ahead of the entire wizarding world. Perhaps greatness itself is a burden..."
He frequently delivered impromptu speeches in the common room, cornering anyone he encountered to serve as his audience.
"You are witnessing the future's great economist and entrepreneur—the magnificent vision of a Malfoy," he would announce loudly whilst grabbing Blaise and Theodore's sleeves before a crowd. "If you wish your families to flourish and accumulate wealth, you ought to listen more to my discourse..."
Such outrageous declarations made his friends grimace, doing their utmost to avoid spending even a second in the common room.
"Draco looks as though he's been controlled by some Dark Magic," Blaise complained. "Perhaps the rumours aren't unfounded—he truly has gone mad. Otherwise I cannot fathom his behaviour... Do you suppose You-Know-Who has cursed their family somehow?"
Rumours that the Malfoy heir had suffered a mental breakdown from running dodgy businesses spread throughout Hogwarts.
More than one professor came to enquire about his mental state, causing speculation that "Malfoy has truly lost it" to spread like wildfire.
Even his round-the-clock "attendants" Goyle and Crabbe could no longer tolerate his neurotic behaviour.
Draco would often ruthlessly snatch food from their hands mid-snack or mid-meal, forcing the pair to redirect their attention from eating to his lectures.
"You two idiots still haven't grasped Potter's Five Forces Model!" Draco would tap his wand against his palm, seizing the barely-bitten wraps from Crabbe and Goyle's hands and tossing them aside. "I must test you—do you know who brings the threats? Who's doing the competing? And what about bargaining power..."
"Our stomachs hurt... Draco," Crabbe clutched his massive belly, groaning in a series of "ow"s. "Need the loo... We'll discuss Potter's business later..."
"We understand your hatred of Potter, Draco," Goyle also held his abdomen. "But he's got five forces—threatening and competing and negotiating—whilst we've only got the same magic as him. Perhaps we should avoid confrontation..."
Crabbe and Goyle scarpered in a flash, leaving Draco alone.
"Yu, what was that saying from your homeland? 'A lazy donkey finds excuses when it's time to work'?" Draco said regretfully. "I think it describes them perfectly—the moment it's time to acquire knowledge, their bowels become as smooth as if hit by the Entrail-Expelling Curse."
One had to admit, Pavlov's conditioning worked perfectly on Goyle and Crabbe—the pair seemed to have developed a condition where hearing Draco deliver important speeches triggered diarrhoea, their speed rushing to the washroom rivalling Olympic athletes.
—Never forgetting to grab their unfinished Chocolate Frogs on the way.
But Jane Yu began to perceive something behind Draco's seemingly manic behaviour.
His impromptu lectures were becoming increasingly frequent, whilst Goyle and Crabbe's washroom visits grew correspondingly longer and more frequent.
During their absences, he would return to normal, no longer fixated on business theories.
She suddenly recalled Draco's message-passing behaviour at the long table after Christmas, and a thought flashed through her mind—
Perhaps these past months of Draco's one-sided enthusiasm weren't due to not listening to advice, but were entirely deliberate!
His purpose was precisely to shake off his attendants-cum-monitors—Goyle and Crabbe!
To create false information for them and relay misleading intelligence!
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