Dahlia was watching television, nervously nibbling away at some popcorn she had made when Lemon came in, with the fake plant 'Tsumi', bouncing with pride from her victory tonight.
"Lemon!" called Dahlia, immediately standing up to greet her. "How did it go?"
The polyad released her control of 'Tsumi' turning him to petals that clatter then rot on the floor. She then spins to the girl and walks past her whilst answering her question. "Oh Dahlia, it was real good. But first let me get a drink."
"Sure?" the girl replied, a bit unsure what she meant by 'real good'.
Lemon went to the back of the kitchen to fix herself some coffee whilst she explained the night she experienced. The people, the murder investigation and of course the Polar Eye issue.
"I have to fight in the Polaratus?" shouted Dahlia.
She didn't expect she would. She thought that when Lemon said they won't be doing that, they weren't doing that. It seemed that they needed to though if they wanted to capture the faceless. Forcing them all into a fight for the Polar Eye is a lot easier and faster than working through them one by one.
"Mm yes sweets. Hope you've been doing well in school because we need you to win too." added the woman in between sips.
"Hah." Dahlia crashed onto the sofa, sinking into it. "Didn't you tell me not to get involved with the Polaratus?"
"Yeah but Mr Smiles wasn't taking no for an answer and it gave me the idea of forcing the faceless into a situation it might expose itself in." Lemon explained. "So I thought, 'what's the worst that could happen?' and changed the rules of the game."
A bunch of thoughts were running through Dahlia's mind, not only was she participating in the Polaratus but now she has to fight for the Polar Eye? She definitely thinks she can go through one fight well but multiple? With how much drawback there was to her dark gift? How was she meant to fight that?
The front door opens, interrupting her thoughts as Tsumi steps in, looking like a drowned rat. He throws off his shoes, tossed off his coat and immediately trudges upstairs in search of a change of clothes. All urgently.
He shouted down, "Keep an eye out for Litis, he might be hot on my trail."
For the next few minutes, Dahlia and Lemon keep quiet, the woman sipping coffee whilst peeking through curtains, making sure no one was watching or visiting whilst the girl kept a lookout the backdoor, just in case. Eventually, Tsumi comes down, dressed in loungewear and drier hair. He sets himself down on a couch, finally catching his breath.
"Anything?" he questioned, looking at them both.
"Nothing, at least not yet." replied the polyad.
The man nodded. "We should take shifts. Just to be sure."
"Why what happened?" wondered Dahlia, still staying in the kitchen but able to see Tsumi and Lemon fine.
Tsumi explained what he saw in the facility. The scale, the cameras, the data and the HELIOS-19, with the exception being Dahlia's data. He was going to ask Alice first and foremost before he touched any of that.
"So," started Lemon, "the laptop is gone but we still have the USB?"
"Yeah. Should have the latest from their database but without the laptop we won't be getting anything new." the man said.
Sure they could try and use a laptop from this world but that carried some risks. For one, despite how prepared they were, they could never be ready for what could happen when code from another world meets code from here. Sure it might work but then it might not.
On top of that, they'd need to buy it. They can't just go to the public library, plug this in and browse the files right there and then. But then purchasing it would give away to Litis, who would be watching for a while, and that they were looking for a replacement laptop.
It was a problem, because they'd rather not give the man any more reasons to potentially break down their door and arrest them all there and then.
Dahlia was still thinking about the creature Tsumi described. "Why would they be making such a powerful being?"
Lemon set down her mug on the coffee table. "Power probably. That's how it always is." she answered with a shrug. She waved the girl over from the kitchen to sit with them.
"Okay." Dahlia went over and sat down next to the man, her knees pressed together. "Let me summarise…"
"So the faceless murdered Dr Gias, took her keycard, broke into the school and set up the mat, killing Shinji, all for the purpose of freeing up the Polar Eye?"
"We might not know that." argued Tsumi. "For all we know the faceless might've been after someone else and Shinji was an accident."
"A sad one but possible." Lemon added returning to the window to look back outside.
The girl looked at the dark haired man. "So then why? What other reason is there than to be the Polar Eye?"
Tsumi strummed at goatee, "Might not be true either. We don't know if it wants to be the Polar Eye. Might just need someone to be or not be it."
"Either way we can prove it soon," said Lemon.
"How?" asked Dahlia, looking between the two.
The man smiled at the girl. "We aren't part of its plan. So if you win the Polar Eye Dahlia, it will come for you."
"Oh." she expressed. Dahlia had so far in her life had only been in a few real fights but if the faceless comes for her, it won't be fighting one on one. All things considered, it will likely try to kill her silently like an owl in the dark, the only hint before death being the shadow overhead.
"Lemon, can I talk to you alone?" asked Tsumi.
The lilac haired woman took her eyes off the streets and looked to the one addressing her from the corner of her eye. "..Sure."
"Can you watch the window Dahlia?" she asked the girl.
"Of course." she nodded in reply, standing up to head over to the window.
She wasn't stupid. She knew they were going to have some kind of conversation but she didn't want to say that because that would make things awkward.
Lemon and Tsumi both went upstairs and stepped into the man's bedroom, shutting the door.
"What's this about?" asked the woman, not sitting down but instead staying by the door.
"Why did you change the rules of the Polaratus?" He sounded tired, both physically and mentally but he still knew that he had to ask her before he forgets.
She thought through her answer, going through several different ways she could try to lie but ultimately… "I didn't want someone else to win."
Tsumi exhales, short but the frustration could be easily felt. "And who exactly was this person?"
Lemon sat at the edge of the bed, showing no show of shame as she says, "Zanis Tillion, and it was so satisfying watching him lose."
He let out a groan. "Come on Lemon! Weren't you the one who wanted her to join up the least? Now she has even more on her mind."
"She can handle it." the polyad shooed away with a wave. "Also I couldn't really say no to Litis."
"You really think that?" he argued.
"Uh huh. My pollen would've just burned on his body." she said.
Another deep breath. Tsumi felt too tired and exhausted to continue this so he'll just settle for her excuse for the moment.
"I didn't mean Litis. What made you think-"
Lemon flung her back onto the bed, arms stretched, "She is fine! She. Is. Fine! Honestly I can't see why you keep acting more like her father than you should. You already do that a bit with Rika."
"Rika is a unique case. Dahlia is actually a child." the man argued.
"I'm just saying you don't know her. Neither of us do. If she's going to be working with Hencacount then she needs to be as ready as we were when we first joined." the woman argued back, but still keeping her lazed demeanor.
"I wasn't." Tsumi stated.
Lemon scoffed a little. "You were, that's why we took you. And probably one of the reasons why Alice took her. If she weren't and she was a danger, she wouldn't be here."
The man sat at the other edge of the bed, looking down at Lemon looking up at him.
"Trust her." she says. "And even if she does lose it's not as if we can't just follow the actual winner. This could be an opportunity for her to strengthen her power in a controlled environment."
Tsumi considered for a moment her words before coming to agree with her. "Fine. I'll take your food for thought and eat it."
- - -
The night went by. To make sure, everyone took a watch and, outside of a cat that shocked Dahlia, there was nothing of note. As the sun rose and Lemon blinked away the tension on her eyelids, the house ticked awake as the day begun.
After Lemon and Tsumi's chat, the three discussed what would happen tomorrow. Tsumi had a meeting in a couple of days so he decided he would check out Dr Gias' house in the meantime in case there was anything missed. Lemon would remain at the house, making sure nothing was planted outside to watch them and Dahlia would of course return to school to show everything was normal.
Walking up stairs to the building on the hill, the girl could immediately feel the heads that turned as she crossed the school gates. The rumors of her actions last week are circulating, if not already twisted by exaggeration and ill will.
At least it's better than being ignored.
She made her way to the Highlights classroom, and arrived to see the rest of her classmates. Suto was the first she saw, who turned his head as soon as he saw Tansol turn his to Dahlia entering behind him.
He moves aside for the girl but she can.. feel his caution and the hairs on his neck prick up. Tansol next to him kept quiet and watched Dahlia reach her seat.
Ever since she had that incident, she's noticed she could feel other people's senses like they were her own. It didn't feel like she was reading her minds per say but more like everyone she was close to, she could connect their sensations and feelings to her own. Like she took a wire and connected their bodies together.
It's what made all of the unease and discomfort in the room all the more palpable and suffocating. She still had hope though.
Outside of them, there was Tenha and Yume. Both talking but went silent the second Dahlia stepped in. Dahlia had hoped for some kind of assurance but the tensing of shoulders and the slight tightening of grips told her what she needed.
It was too much to ask.
Still, she sits down, preparing her items for the lesson. She doesn't dare look anywhere but directly ahead. Scared of what more she could read from their faces when she's already feeling things through her senses. The girl hoped uselessly that no one else would step in.
Soon Burrus stepped in and seeing Dahlia made his way quickly past her to the back where he usually sat. His fear was palpable to Dahlia. She could almost feel his heart shake-
No. I don't.
No she doesn't.
Staring ahead she watched as Zannos came in and as if he already knew what he wanted to do, he stared down Dahlia and walked up towards her, bag dropped by his desk on the way up.
Looming over her, she forced herself to look up from his stomach and to his face. "I'm surprised. I'd thought they wouldn't let you back in."
Dahlia felt like she was choking on her breath, words struggling to escape her windpipe as she tried to find the strength to speak.
"Can't say anything? Was expecting sorry but it seems you can't do that." he said with a slight growl.
"I-I am s-sorry for what happened last week." she apologised, keeping as calm as she could.
It was odd from Zannos' perspective. Dahlia always kept a dignified face, even when terrified but to hear this shaky apology escape the lips of a face more stony than a mountain it felt like mockery.
"You realised what you did? What you almost did as well?" he asked.
"Yes." she eked out.
"Your things touched everywhere, it violated us." he bent down to bring his face closer, "and you think 'I'm sorry' can wash away that humiliation?"
It couldn't be denied. There was so much more she could do but what was she supposed to say? All she could try were excuses that she could never explain. It wasn't her, she thinks, but what a stupid reason that would be?
"I hope you feel disgusted," he spat.
"Can you stop?"
Zannos turned around to see that standing behind him was Rolo, annoyed. Zannos looked him over and walked past him back to his seat, not wanting the confrontation now that he's said his part.
Rolo watched him go to his desk and hung around Dahlia's.
"Are you alright?" he asks Dahlia, surprising her a little.
She has already looked down. She did not want to face Rolo. She was too ashamed. The boy stepped around her, face still hidden as she heard the shifting of a chair being moved next to her.
There was still talking, she thinks, besides them.
"Some people clearly never heard of tact have they?" he said a bit venomously.
He leaned his arm on the table and rested his head on it as he kept trying to talk this one person conversation. "Seriously, he acts like he almost didn't give Yume a concussion a couple weeks ago. Scumbag."
Stop that.
"Speaking of, how was that punch? Healing up good?"
This isn't right.
"Dahlia?"
She kept her head down. Why is he talking to her? He should be scared of her like everyone else. What is he trying to accomplish? In her thoughts, Dahlia couldn't gain enough courage, no matter how much she tried to pull herself out of the look of his face twisted in disgust and fear that day.
"Look Dahlia, I'm going to leave you be. Just know that we can talk anytime." he reassured.
The blonde haired boy stood up and walked back to his desk, dragging his chair with him just as the bell rang. Suzuki entered the room and though he was very composed and professional, Dahlia could still feel minor shakes that go through him every time Dahlia would watch too long.
The day went on slowly for the girl, each class felt stuffy as whenever a new teacher were to enter for new lessons, it would feel like they were either cautious or curious, the former more common. Once at lunch, Dahlia decided not to go to the cafeteria, instead opting to stay in the classroom to hopefully eat without the pressure on her neck of a dozen eyes chatting about her through distant noises.
Naturally no one was left there but her. And now finally alone she could take deep breaths to try and keep her composure. She wants to cry, so badly, but her etiquette fights it tooth and nail and she can only strain her throat as she furiously fights her own breakdown.
I know I said it was better than being ignored, but now I'm not sure.
Whilst she's always been alone, it didn't stop it from being a crushing sensation. It never got easier. Back then she didn't know why but she understood it was because of her magic one way or another. Something she can't get rid of that's stuck with her like a lesion.
She opened her packed lunch, anticipating being alone today, and stared at the food before her. Her appetite is nonexistent but she still eats as old memories come to mind.
- - -
Dahlia looked down at her meal. It was cooked veal with peas and carrots, a gravy sauce and a side of soft white bread. It had been brought up to her as per her request to the classroom. She hasn't eaten in the Pilin Academy's cafeteria since her first year. Quietly she ate her food whilst she did some of her assigned work from earlier in the day.
This case study is interesting.
It was about a flooding disaster at a coastal town and the ways it could've been avoided by both structural engineering and magic. That was their current topic, or at least the ones that had the attention of the Academy as a student of high potential.
Dahlia flicked through a page after a drink of tea before she heard the classroom door open, to which three girls walked in. They notice Dahlia but quickly move onto what they came here for.
"Here, maybe we can get it done before her class." one girl said.
They took out books, assignments likely that they were doing last second. This isn't the first time for Dahlia to be witness to this but whilst she is a good student she didn't want to risk being even more alone than before. No one likes a tattle tale is what she's heard some say.
"Hey.." the other girl whispered, "..is it alright if she's here? What if she tells?"
"She never does anything. Just creepy from what I was told." another said.
Dahlia ignored them, at least from her looks. Her ears though were locked in on this conversation. Couldn't not be.
"Creepy? She doesn't look that bad." the previous girl muttered.
"Seriously? Do you not feel it? It's as if she is always watching." the third girl said, taking a peek behind her.
The second girl did the same. "She is watching us though, she's behind us in the room."
"I mean- here. Yesterday, when I had literature, the whole time I felt as if someone was breathing on my neck. I turned my back and she was the one behind me."
I never did that. Dahlia thought, completely offended. But she does admit that she was watching her for most of the lesson. She noticed that her hair looked ethereal under the scathing rays of sunlight that peaked through the space between her hairs.
"Yeah", said the first girl, "I heard as well that during a group project last year, she kept whispering to herself constantly."
It wasn't as ominous as that! She does mutter to herself sometimes whenever she is thinking up a plan but that was the only time. She's not some creep!
"Ooh! Ooh! I once heard from Carmichael that there was a guy who tried to court her and she turned him down immediately with a one look." one of them giggled.
He was annoying and odious, anyone would've done the same. Their words were twisting what Dahlia remembered. She doesn't mean to be off putting, the opposite actually but why does everyone keep saying the opposite? She doesn't understand.
"Excuse me?" Dahlia asks, surprising herself with her own words.
The girls quickly turn their heads, the object of their gossip now talking to them. She ignored what she could read from their faces and continued with her question. "Am I really that off putting?"
The girls looked at each other, nervous to give a response. One of them however was more frank than the others and did answer Dahlia's question with a bit too much confidence.
"Dahlia, we don't mean to be rude but whenever you are near everyone gets a bit on edge, especially with how you are." she said truthfully.
Dahlia tried to understand her words but she couldn't get it, "What do you mean by 'how I am'?"
"Well, it's just.. You always stare at people like you can tell what they're thinking and you're always so perfect in how you move and talk. I don't think anyone has seen you get sick or tired and you get perfect grades in every class. And on top of all that you've never spoken to anyone unless they came to you I think. It's like you're a- a… I don't know. It's just weird." she explained.
The brown haired girl took her words to heart. She tried not to look offended. She asked for an answer and got feedback she should take to make herself better. Even though she didn't know how to use it.
"And on top of all of that you barely show any emotion. I mean you do smile but you never, like, smile smile you know?" another girl added, confusingly.
What did that mean? How does that work? How can you smile and not smile at the same time? She wanted to ask more but she didn't want to be a bother so just accepted what she could get and dropped it.
"I see. I understand." she replied even though she didn't.
The bell rang, indicating its time for class and the girls quickly packed up their stuff. They leave but not before Dahlia could hear another whisper exchanged between them.
"Was she listening to us the entire time?" one said.
"See I told you. It's like she's always watching."
Once they leave, Dahlia notices she wasn't halfway through her meal and is forced to discard it before returning to her classroom. Along the way she can't help but rethink what was said to her.
What's wrong with any of what she said? Besides the staring and the smiling? which I admit the first is a bad habit, I don't see anything wrong with what she said. I don't understand and I don't know how to ask.
Dahlia returned to her seat after disposing of her food and prepared herself for class, once more being the perfect little creature she was and would be until she met Alice.
- - -
Back then, she didn't understand why. She didn't understand why everyone treated her like she was strange or off putting or weird but this time she knew for sure and the reason is pretty good. It hurts more then; she knows why she's alone again. She knows why she's avoided and looked upon like a hazard.
It's only for a bit longer. After this, we can…
What would happen if Hencacount became the same? What if Lemon and Tsumi find her too strange even for them. The thought began to make herself feel worse and more alone. If she lost them, her family could easily do the same. She would be alone having her lunches to herself from now until the end of her life and she wouldn't understand why for the most part.
No, I-
…
I cannot think like that. I cannot let myself get in my own head.
She clears her throat.
But what if I'm right? It wouldn't be odd.
She stared down at her food, never taking the thought to try and eat more of it.
It wouldn't be odd. It'd be expected. I am strange.
Dahlia spends the rest of her lunch, trying to eat but never finishes half of her meal. When the bell rings, she goes ahead and leaves to go to the track to attend the daily training on a mostly empty stomach.
- - -
The training was normal. Coach Letty wasn't present, Suzuki explained it as her being on maternity leave but anyone can tell that it was a lie for her sake. Dahlia didn't use her power and focused on doing so little and trying to avoid sensing the attention every time she would raise her hands.
Afterwards, she quickly changed and left to go home. Walking quickly she had failed to hear the distant call outs of her name as she rushed away. Reaching the bottom of the steps of the school's entrance she was almost out, except the one calling her name finally caught up to her.
"Dahlia!"
With a brief blink, all of the sudden Rolo was in front of her, heaving.
"You couldn't at least reach out to me once?" he breathed.
Dahlia tried to step around him but Rolo kept getting in her way. Though she was looking at Rolo, she was blanking out any detail. Making anything readable a blur in hopes she isn't convinced to stay.
"Dahlia, please just listen." he begged slightly.
She got around him, until a hand grasped her wrist and suddenly her senses came rushing back in like the floodgates were open once more. She turned her head to meet with their eyes faster than she thought she could.
"Dahlia, look. I still need to talk to you about what happened." he explained.
"I'm sorry." she said meekly.
"Thanks but that wasn't what I was looking for. Are you okay? You weren't down for lunch and you looked like you were dead inside the entire day." he said.
She didn't respond. Rolo tried to read her face but nothing. It was a perfect stillness, the eyes were open wide but too much, her lips were neutral and there was not even a crease on her skin that told him she even registered what he said. Even her eyes were in a state of zen.
"Here." Rolo said. He drags Dahlia and she follows, not because she wanted to, but because she was afraid of making things worse..
The two sat down at a cafe, the same one Dahlia sat at on the very first day she arrived here and back then she was looking forward to school. She could use her power without fear and she hoped by doing that she could be more open to other people and while she did for a while she opened herself up too much. It was too much to be herself.
"Finally." the boy uttered. "Now, I'm going to say my piece because it's clear you aren't in a talking mood huh?" he smiled, he was trying to make her lower her guard but she couldn't.
Rolo took a breath and looked into Dahlia's eyes, ready to speak, "Firstly. That apology you gave me, I'm giving it back. That wasn't you. That wasn't your fault."
You're wrong.
"Secondly, yes it was bad. I won't dance around it because I know you can't. Some of the things that Zannos said are frustratingly true. What happened was bad and almost could've been far worse than anything else I could imagine." he continued.
You're admitting it.
"But that doesn't mean you can just pull yourself away and hope that everyone ignores you! Dahlia, are you feeling guilty?" he asked.
She didn't say anything. She has already made up her mind long before this conversation.
"Because you aren't. No one could've expected that and I know you wouldn't have done that if you couldn't help it." he said.
But I did.. no. I didn't try at all.
"I mean Dahlia…"
In fact, I even enjoyed it partially…
"...you aren't perfect! No one is!" he said in a bit of frustration.
Dahlia's eyes shook at those words and Rolo noticed it immediately and took advantage of it in his next words.
"I mean look at you right now. Don't tell me this is why you were alone in your other academy? I mean, I can tell you don't like letting your emotions out. I don't know if it's because you struggle to or you don't like showing them but…."
"I never mean to." she says, her voice still calculated.
"Well you do. Now let me ask you again. Dahlia, are you feeling guilty?" he asked.
"Yes." she replied simply.
He looked at her, expecting more with his eyes and because it's how she is. She complies with his silent request.
"I feel guilty about violating everyone. Violating you. Almost hurting Coach Letty. Almost killing an unborn child." her voice was shaky, "I never wanted to do it but I did it. I enjoyed it, I let myself feel joy from.. almost doing something far worse than I already did."
Rolo shifted his seat so that he was next to her whilst Dahlia set her hands on the table to ground herself, clutched together tightly as she looked him in the eyes.
"I am a monster, I won't deny it." she shook as the words rattled out.
Rolo placed his hand onto hers and held it tight, "You're not a monster. A monster wouldn't be so ashamed or feel guilty. You're not perfect, you make mistakes."
"But.."
The boy stopped her from continuing. "Dahlia, I forgive you, but not because you did something wrong, but because I know it's what you need to hear."
Those words caused her skin to itch and if she was standing her legs would give in. Her mouth twitched down and she allowed herself, for once, to let her true sadness show if even for a moment.
"Thank you." she muttered, taking her fingers and wrapping them around his.