" H-huh? Y-you want to film me?"
Fifteen-year-old Haruno Sakura looked embarrassed; her cheeks were pink, her eyes darted around and her voice trembled. "W-where should I be looking?"
"Just look into my eyes," the man behind the camera said gently, his voice warm and a little husky. "Relax—it's no different from the usual."
"H-how could it be the same, Utakata-san!" Sakura protested instinctively. "This is Asuma-sensei's wedding! It's going on Web Net. How can I act 'normal' in front of the camera?"
"Heh-heh."
Utakata chuckled and changed the subject. "Remember last month when my movie went up on the Web Net video site?"
"Of course!"
Sakura's rosy face brightened. "I remember—Link was so strong!"
(Thanks to someone's meddling it was supposed to be a comedy, then I had to butcher it into a pure action flick, Utakata grumbled inwardly. Half the footage had to be cut; the censors nit-picked everything, and as director-camera-scriptwriter I was not amused… But the censors were who they were—no help for it.)
He gave a helpless smile, then guided the conversation so the girl focused on the film. Once she began talking about the plot her tension melted; as a "new-generation ninja" movies fascinated her. She chattered away.
A single Sixth-Hokage trying to beat the whole world—that's weird just hearing it.
The protagonist was actually Gaara. His arc was crystal clear: friend tries to conquer the world, Gaara is imprisoned by his own father, then—through trust in family and comrades—he leaves Suna for Konoha, clashes briefly with the cold friend, and resolves to lead the Allied Shinobi Forces to defeat that friend…
…only for everyone to be slaughtered at the end, highlighting the Demon-King Link's cruelty, might and dominion.
What a mess. Utakata had braced himself for the film to flop; the plot had been twisted out of shape. Anti-trope for the sake of anti-trope—after raising such a sympathetic, tragic, "beautifully strong" lead, the finale was one giant dump.
He sighed inside, but kept talking—half a year of wandering and filming had turned the once-taciturn loner into a smooth-talking director, and he didn't dislike the change.
"Right," he steered back, "is there anything you'd like to say to Asuma-sensei?"
Sakura beamed at the lens. "Congratulations on your marriage, Asuma-sensei! And, Kurenai-sensei—please drink a little less from now on!" She deliberately raised her voice so the bride inside—carefully holding her wedding dress and baby—could hear. Kurenai rolled her eyes but said nothing.
Utakata's "camera" (actually his eye) caught that eye-roll perfectly.
"Hey!" Even after giving birth Kurenai was still a shinobi; she felt the gaze at once, straightened her back and put on a proper smile. The white shiromuku looked stunning—if you ignored the infant in her arms.
"Hee-hee-hee." Morino Ibiki—no, Mitarashi Anko—snickered and whispered to Shizune; the two giggled at the bride. Utakata faithfully recorded everything, then moved in for a half-body shot.
"So, anything the two of you want to say to Asuma-sensei?"
Shizune cleared her throat, solemn. "Congratulations, Asuma. I'm leaving Kurenai in your care."
"If we ever hear you've bullied her—" Anko leaned into frame. "You'll regret it!"
"Anko!" Kurenai scolded playfully.
Once Utakata had all the footage he intoned in his deep narrator voice: "Thank you, ladies, for the post-wedding interview."
Switch viewpoint
"Kakashi-sensei, any words for Kurenai-san?"
Utakata moved to the reception hall where the ceremony had just ended and pointed the lens at one flushed groomsman.
Hatake Kakashi rubbed his face, a little dazed and slurring: "Ku-Kurenai, one of these days, let's—"
(Pre-show note: the normally cool tech-ninja of Konoha had been plied with drinks all afternoon; his mask had vanished who-knows-where and his "cool" was gone.)
—Tech-ninja? Something about that sounded off…
"Heh-heh," Asuma hurriedly shoved the "camera" aside, afraid his friend would blurt out a drinking date and mark the bride as a lush. "Uh, Utakata-san, is the wedding video finished yet?"
"I'd like to shoot a little more—behind-the-scenes clips, everyone after the ceremony," Utakata replied. "Add some fun moments so you can watch it later and smile."
"Well, could you send me the footage—" Asuma began—but a thud came from behind.
"Third Hokage fell in the hole again!" Uzuki Yugao shouted.
Right: this was Second-World ex-Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen. At the reception he'd drunk even more than Asuma's real father, toppled head-first into the huge pit.
And why was there a pit? It dated back to the earlier cameo—Link had descended in the giant mecha he'd summoned nearly a year ago, shown off in a 1.9-metre handsome form… halfway through the ceremony he inexplicably reverted to kid-size, slipped off his chair on camera, stormed off in the mech, and left a crater.
"Bwaa-ha-ha-ha—"
Down in the crater old Hiruzen bawled.
Poor guy: two months earlier Second-World Konoha had dissolved. His son, Second-World Asuma, together with Kakashi, Obito, Rin and a bunch of younger shinobi, had voted for dissolution, then formed a little crew and followed Sasuke's mutual-aid network to other worlds. Rumour said they were currently tackling Kaguya in some Fourth-Shinobi-War timeline. Such is fatherhood.
Utakata kept filming the chaotic reception.
This time—apart from a certain someone—no one would cut even a second of his masterpiece!