Aria's POV
The sounds Jax made, still haunt me. Hours after the room filled with terrified people cleared out, hours after Ryker had gently taken me back to my room.
I couldn't sleep. The image of his mangled body kept plaguing my mind along with a suffocating amount of guilt.
It was my fault that this had happened to him. I might have not been in the best terms with him but he didn't deserve to die. He did nothing wrong.
My tears had since run dry. My throat was sore and scratchy from the sobs that had racked my body. My headache worsened but I couldn't bring myself to care about it.
I deserved every bit of pain I got. I deserved more but he hadn't, he didn't deserve what Kael did.
I felt disgusting, the fact that I was attracted to someone as vile as Kael made me want to claw at my skin till I bled out.
The vial Killian gave to me was beckoning to me, I craved the escape sleep would offer me. I was exhausted, weak and tired.
I reached for it, remembering the instructions Killian gave not to drink it all at once.
I downed the sweet smelling purple liquid in one go.
Less than a minute later, a wave of dizziness assaulted me. I didn't fight it, instead I welcomed the respite sleep offered.
...
I slept through the night and the next day till my growling stomach woke me. I turned burrying myself under my covers. I wasn't willing to stand up and face the day.
Not long after, I drifted into a restless slumber.
I awoke this time, to a full bladder. I groaned before finally mustering the energy to get up and relieve myself.
On my way back from the bathroom, I noticed the covered food that laid on the table. I ignored it, walking up to the bed instead.
Though I couldn't sleep, I closed my eyes and buried myself under the covers. I wasn't willing to face the day when a mountain of guilt weighed me down.
I wasn't sure how many hours I spent with my eyes closed before I dozed off.
Elara tapped me awake, my tired eyes met her worried ones.
"You've been sleeping for close to 5 days Aria. Please, you need to eat something" She said worriedly.
I hated that I made her worried, another thing to add to the list of things I hated myself for.
A lone tear slipped from my eyes before I quickly wiped it off. I didn't deserve the sympathy or care she was giving me.
"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, my voice hoarse and scratchy.
"This has gone on for too long Aria. You, starving yourself won't bring him back. You need to move on from Jax's death, everyone has." Elara said exasperatedly.
A part of me knew she was right but I just couldn't bring myself to care instead I turned away from her like the coward I was.
She let out a defeated sigh and walked out of the room.
Kael's POV
Kael wasn't sure of what he felt when Elara told him that Aria had stopped eating and was wasting away on her bed.
All he knew was at that moment, he wanted to bring Jax back to life only to kill him again and again.
How dare she mourn that bastard, harming herself for someone as undeserving as Jax.
He wanted to barge into Aria's room, hold her down and force food down her throat.
He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself. Forcing her to eat won't change anything, he had to use a different approach.
He opened Aria's door, deciding not to knock, it was his castle after all.
"Princess," He called out to the curled up lump under the covers.
When he got no response, he moved closer to her and pulled the covers off.
Aria was curled up on her side, her eyes staring blankly into space.
Kael was disturbed by the blank look she had in her eyes. He was used to seeing her eyes filled with emotion. Aria was the one person Kael knew who never hid what they felt. Most people he knew hid their emotions so well it was impossible to know how they truly felt. And to be honest, he didn't give a rat's ass about it.
He tapped her gently, hoping to pull her out of whatever trance she slipped into.
"What are you doing here?" Aria's confused eyes met his.
"Elara said that you haven't been eating," He trailed off.
She stared at him for a few moments before turning her back to him, dismissing him.
Kael seethed, he would not be dismissed like a lowly servant but there was nothing he could do that wouldn't worsen the situation.
He had no idea what he was doing or how to go about this whole damned situation.
"Aria," Kael started, his voice taking on a soft note.
"You need to snap out of whatever….this is. Jax isn't worth any of your tears,"
"Or thoughts, if I'm being honest" he added.
Aria turned to him outraged "How dare you say something like that."
"You killed an innocent man, do you not feel anything?"
Kael scoffed, Jax was far from innocent, if Aria knew the things he did the vile things innocent Jax wanted to do to her she wouldn't have been so quick to call him innocent.
How Kael wished he could break the perfect image she seemed to have of Jax but he couldn't. If he did it would lead to a barrage of questions he couldn't answer.
He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the dark strands.
"The only thing I feel is regret for not being able to give him a more painful death than he got" He said truthfully.
But it seemed Aria did not appreciate his honesty as she stood, her eyes blazing with fury.
But Kael would take her anger any day, over the emptiness she had felt.
"Why are you so cruel. If you were to punish anyone for what happened, it should've been me. I was the one who convinced him to leave, walked into the woods and almost got myself killed."
"I did that, not him" She spit out, pointing a finger at him.
Kael caught Aria's furious gaze, this was not going as he planned.
He had to change tactics but he only succeeded in aggravating her.
"Jax's death is not on you. I killed him, and I take full responsibility for it."
"I made the decision to take his life, and I would have done it regardless of your actions."
Kael's face hardened as Aria stared at him, disgust marring her pretty face.
"You are a monster," Aria spit out, her voice filled with venom.
Kael nodded, feeling like a guest in his own body.
"Yes, I am."