The others were already in the war room, and Holli couldn't help the way she looked between Josephine and Cullen. Strangely enough, no one was talking about it. Were they that good at keeping a secret? As the group spoke, Josephine and Cullen appeared to be the epitome of professional. Leliana, at least, had to know; no way she couldn't.
She snapped back to attention when they mentioned Corypheus and his army fleeing into the Arbor Wilds. Her eyes immediately darted to the map, looking for them, calculating the distance.
"So we're headed to the Arbor Wilds then," Hawke said, clapping his hands together as if that was that.
"But what is Corypheus doing in such a remote area?" Josephine asked.
"His people have been ransacking elven ruins since Haven," Leliana told them. "We believe he seeks more. What he hopes to find, however, continues to elude us."
"Fortunately, I can assist," Morrigan announced, entering the room as if she owned it. "What Corypheus seeks in those forgotten woods is as ancient as it is dangerous."
"Which is?" Holli asked.
"It's best if I show you," she said, already turning to walk away. "Come along."
Hawke exchanged a look with Holli, silently asking if she was coming. She was curious, so of course. They followed Morrigan from the war room; she led them across the castle and to the wing she had been using since her arrival. The specific room she took them to appeared to be storage, full of hidden items obscured by swathes of cloth draped over them. But at the end of the narrow room stood a massive mirror, its surface faintly glowing; their reflections as they neared it were distorted and transparent.
"This is an eluvian," she told them. "An elven artefact from a time long before their empire was lost to human greed."
Humans seemed to suck in every universe.
"I restored this one at great cost. Another lies within the Arbor Wilds. That is what Corypheus seeks. I found legends of an elven temple within the Wilds. Untouched. It proved too dangerous to approach, and thus, I turned elsewhere to find my prize. If Corypheus has turned southward, he could succeed where I failed. The eluvian would be his."
"Maker's Breath, are they that special?" Hawke asked. "A friend of mine has one in her house."
Holli tried not to snicker under her breath, but Morrigan's big reveal now felt a little flat. Seriously? Hawke knew someone who had one of these apparently dangerous and ancient items just sitting in her house?
"Who?" Morrigan asked, dumbfounded.
"I'd rather not say." He eyed her with an exaggerated suspicion that was almost comical, perhaps realising the kind of danger he might put her in if what Morrigan was saying was true.
"What does it actually do?" Holli asked.
With a gesture from her, the mirror suddenly lit up, and they had to brace themselves against the power that pushed out of it. The faint glow had become far more intense; the surface of the mirror was no longer reflective or even solid, just a swirling miasma of magic.
"A more appropriate question would be where does it lead?" she replied, stepping into the mirror.
Holli and Hawke followed; it was like stepping into – well, it reminded her of slime. The kind she could buy from the shop, the way it felt wet but didn't sit on your skin like water.
They stepped out into a vast area cloaked in a thick fog. She could see the silhouettes of the strangest trees she'd ever seen, or maybe they were statues; she couldn't tell from here. But this whole place immediately gave her Silent Hill vibes. Not long before winding up in Thedas, she had played through the remake of 2 with Curtis. She half expected a Lying Figure to start staggering out of the fog.
"If this place once had a name, it has long been lost."
Holli walked forward, able to pick out more and more eluvians through the fog. Holli could feel something in the air, and she lifted her hand, slowly drawing it through the empty air. But it wasn't empty.
"What are you doing?" Hawke asked.
"Can't you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
"Like... I don't know, fuzz? It's like the Fade but not, I don't know, like Fade... particles in the air?"
"Close," Morrigan told her, her voice faintly echoing in the vast space. "I call this the Crossroads. A place where all eluvians join."
"And we've been riding horses like chumps." Holli cast an accusing glare towards Hawke, who only shot her a 'what do you want from me?' shrug back at her. "Who made this? How did they make it?"
"Who can say? Formed from the fabric of time and space, perhaps. The ancient elves left no roads, only ruins hidden in far-flung corners. This is how they travelled between them. As you can see, most of the mirrors are dark – broken, corrupted, or unusable. As for the rest, a few can be opened from this side.
"How did you find out about this place?" Hawke asked.
"My travels have led me to many strange destinations, Inquisitor. Once they led me here. It offered sanctuary."
"Sanctuary?"
"Not all the mirrors lead back to our world."
"Wait, what!?" Holli asked, her eyes snapping to the woman with a fierce intensity. "What worlds do they lead to?"
"If any should lead to yours, I have not discovered it," Morrigan told her. "They lead to places like this one, in-between spaces."
"But you haven't explored every mirror?"
"I have not," she admitted. "Some of the eluvians have been left unlocked, like doors accidentally left ajar. All others are closed. They can be opened only from beyond."
"Opened how?" Holli asked.
"With a key."
"I suppose you have such a key?" Hawke asked with a tone that suggested this was going to cost him.
"The key can be many things. Each eluvian is different. I have knowledge as well as power; often that is enough."
"And Corypheus wants to come here. Why?"
"This is not the Fade, but it is very close," she said. "Someone with enough power could tear down the ancient barriers."
"And enter the Fade in the flesh," Hawke finished. "Like Corypheus wanted to do with the anchor."
"He learnt of the eluvian in the Arbor Wilds as I did. He marshals the last of his forces to reach it. You have made Corypheus desperate; we must work together to stop him. And soon."
With that she vanished back through the eluvian. Hawke made to step through as well, noticing Holli wasn't moving. She was turned back, away from the eluvian in front of them, her eyes scanning the place, biting at her bottom lip and deep in thought.
He thought he might know what this was about. He came and stood beside her, a hand on her shoulder.
"You really think one of these could take you home?" He asked gently.
"I don't know," she whispered. "But shouldn't I try?"
She looked up at him, eyes clouded with something he couldn't quite name – longing, maybe. Grief. Hope. And he could see, as clearly as if it were carved into her face, how torn she was.
"I don't know," he echoed. "Should you?"
Holli turned back toward the field of eluvians. The ground was silent beneath her feet, but the air hummed. It felt like standing in a hall of ghosts.
There were so many of them, too many to count. Some darkened, dormant maybe. Others glowed faintly.
Still, the idea of home had never stopped tugging at her. Not since the day she'd first arrived here.
But after Adamant, she had… sort of stopped. Not just stopped hoping. Stopped imagining. Stopped believing that returning home was even safe.
If she tried, if one of these mirrors truly could take her back, what might it cost? Another explosion like the Conclave? Another hundred lives, maybe more? She could still remember the twisted burning corpses when they'd gotten to the top of that mountain. She could never, would never, do that to another world. Not again.
And then… there was the question she hadn't let herself ask in months.
What would she even be going back to?
Her mum was gone. And Yvette, and Curtis, they were gone too. Likely burnt away like those on this side had been. What family she had left were strangers. People who might not remember her at all. If they didn't want her, she'd just end up in the system, bounced from place to place until she aged out. Another file in a cabinet no one opened.
But here…
Here she had Cole. Quiet, strange Cole, who always knew what her heart couldn't say. Here was Varric, who told her stories and made her laugh. Here was Solas, who challenged her mind and pushed her further and showed her how to do things she never could have believed were possible where she came from.
Here she had a place. A goal. A routine. Holy shit, she'd built a life when she wasn't looking.
Maybe she didn't want to go home. Not because it wasn't possible. But because what made it home wasn't there anymore.
She breathed in deep, filling her lungs with the strange, still air of this place. When she exhaled, it came out steady.
"I guess not," she said.
The words tasted like mourning and release and maybe a bit of wonder. He didn't speak, just watched her.
"We should... we should catch up with Morrigan," she mumbled, vanishing through the mirror as well.
-
As she'd promised, she found Cole for dinner, walking with him to the Herald's Rest – Christ, she still hated that name. Maybe she could petition a name change. 'Bad Dragon'. She laughed to herself. She'd be the only one who got it, but at least it would mildly amuse her every time she saw it. 'Two Wenches, One Chalice.' Ha. Gross. Again, she'd be the only one who got it.
Holli ordered dinner, carrying it upstairs to where Cole usually hung out. They sat cross-legged on the floor, the plate between them. She filled him in on Morrigan's library of eluvians world while he picked at the roasted carrots, chewing with quiet focus as he listened.
"You don't have to do it," she told him, lips twitching.
"You like it when I eat."
"I like it when you want to eat," she corrected.
"I want to eat because you like it," he told her softly.
They sat like that for a moment, the silence between them comfortable. She sipped from her cup. He made a thoughtful face at a piece of bread. But then, his eyes flicked up to her, far too seeing, and stayed there.
"You're different," he said quietly.
Holli blinked. "Everybody's different, and that's ok?" She still didn't always know where he was going.
"You're different from you. Settled. Like a drawer finally closed. You're not waiting anymore."
She looked down at the plate, hands curling into the fabric of her sleeves. "I just... I told myself I was keeping the option open. That it was smart to know if there was a way back, just in case." She hesitated. "But...I think I might have started hoping there wasn't. Because then I wouldn't have to choose."
Cole was quiet. Letting her speak. She liked that about him too.
"And today I did choose," she said it simply, forced it to sound simple. Like the choice had been between pink or black socks today.
His eyes softened, like he saw it wasn't as simple as she was trying to make it. "You've been holding your breath for a long time. Now you're not."
She nodded with a sigh. "I thought it would feel like... losing something. But I guess I lost it ages ago, and now it just feels like... I don't really need it back."
He leaned forward, reaching across and taking her hand. She let her fingers slip into his, and he held her hand with such care, like it was a broken baby bird.
"I'm glad you stayed."
She smiled at him, small but real. "Yeah, me too," she said softly. "Now eat your carrots, spirit-boy; they're good for you."