The other Hydra operative was crouched behind a massive oak tree, his face pale as death. This guy wasn't one of their suicide squad fanatics, just a regular grunt who'd drawn the short straw on what was supposed to be a simple extraction mission. Watching his teammate's head explode like a dropped watermelon had shattered whatever courage he'd started with.
Where the fuck is he?
His hands shook as he gripped his assault rifle. According to his training, the sniper couldn't be too far away, otherwise the shot would've been blocked by all the trees and undergrowth. But that didn't help him when he couldn't see shit through the forest.
A bead of cold sweat rolled down his forehead and dripped onto the grass. His gut suddenly screamed danger, like a spooked animal sensing a predator. He scrambled behind another tree just as Mario materialized out of thin air three feet away.
"Not bad reflexes," he muttered under his breath.
He decided to grant the poor bastard a quick death. Moving silently behind the trembling agent, he raised his hand and brought it down hard on the back of the man's neck, a classic knockout move he'd seen in countless action movies.
Thunk.
The agent stumbled forward and face-planted into the dirt, but didn't go unconscious. He just lay there groaning and trying to figure out what the hell had hit him.
"Goddamn lying movies," Mario cursed.
The agent's training kicked in fast. He rolled over with his rifle and started spraying bullets in Mario's general direction. Muzzle flashes lighted up the forest. But Mario was already moving, pulling his vampire baseball bat from his inventory. With a savage swing, he connected with the side of the guy's skull.
CRACK.
That did the trick. The agent's eyes rolled back and he collapsed like a sack of meat, his rifle clattering away into the underbrush.
Mario hefted the bat and nodded approvingly. "Now that's what I call reliable."
He grabbed the unconscious agent by the ankle and started dragging him toward his base entrance, pausing only to strip the guy's radio headset. But before he could put it on and listen for chatter, he heard familiar voices nearby.
"Órale, Garcia, you sure this is the right way? I ain't trying to get lost in no fucking forest, hermano."
"Cállate, Kerry. Mario said Central Park, we find Central Park."
"Both you pendejos need to chill," came a third voice. "Gore's got the GPS working now."
Mario's eyebrows shot up. Kerry? Gore? Garcia?
What were his three favorite gang members doing wandering around his combat zone? He checked his minimap interface and sure enough, three green dots were moving through the trees about fifty meters away. They must have gotten his text, but what the hell were they doing stumbling around during an active firefight?
The sound of footsteps grew closer, accompanied by Spanish cursing that would've made their mothers wash their mouths out with soap.
"Hold up, hermanos," Garcia's voice came through the trees. "You hear all that shooting earlier? Sounded like World War Three broke out."
"Maybe we should head back to the car," Kerry replied nervously. "This don't feel right, man."
"Fuck that noise," Gore said with more confidence than he probably felt. "MARIO! You out here? We came as soon as we got your text, hermano!"
Mario rubbed his temples. These idiots were going to get themselves killed wandering around yelling. Then again, he could use some backup for what was coming next. The remaining Hydra agents were probably scattered and confused, having extra muscle couldn't hurt.
"Over here!" he called back, then added louder: "And keep your heads down! Hostile contacts in the area!"
The three gang members came crashing through the underbrush like they were chasing an ice cream truck, all subtlety abandoned. Garcia was in the lead, followed by Kerry clutching a crowbar like it was a security blanket, and Gore carrying what looked like a modified Louisville Slugger.
"¡Madre mía!" Garcia whistled low, taking in the unconscious agent and the blood spatters decorating nearby trees. "Looks like you been throwing yourself a party without us, hermano."
"What are you guys doing here?" Mario asked, though he was secretly pleased to see them.
"Got your text," Kerry explained, wiping sweat from his face. "When we got to the park entrance, we heard gunshots and explosions and shit. Figured you might need some backup."
"Plus," Gore added with a grin, hefting his weapon, "sounded like more fun than sitting around the garage all day."
Before Mario could respond, his minimap interface lit up. Red dots were converging on their position from three different directions, at least four hostiles moving through the forest.
"We've got company incoming," he said, pulling out his sniper rifle and checking the magazine. "Fair warning, guys, these aren't vampires. They're trained military operatives with automatic weapons and a serious attitude problem."
"So like... worse than vampires?" Kerry asked, gripping his crowbar tighter.
"Different kind of dangerous. Vampires want to drain your blood and turn you into one of them. These assholes want to capture you for interrogation, experimentation, or worse."
Garcia cracked his knuckles. "Well, we can't be having that shit, right? What's the plan?"
"Stay mobile, use the trees for cover, and try not to get shot," Mario replied. "And whatever you do, don't let them take you alive. Trust me on that one."
The gang members spread out instinctively, taking cover behind massive oak trunks and granite boulders. Whatever else could be said about their criminal careers, they knew how to handle themselves when violence was on the menu. The streets had taught them that much.
The first Hydra agent came into view thirty seconds later, moving through the forest in a crouch with his weapon raised and ready. Mario lined up his shot through the scope, but Garcia was already in motion.
The gang leader bursted from cover with his crowbar raised like a medieval battle axe.
The agent spun toward the sound, training his rifle on Garcia, but Kerry was already flanking from the opposite side.
"Over here, pendejo!" he called out, drawing the agent's attention and fire.
Muzzle flashes lit up the forest as the agent opened up on full auto, bark exploding from trees as bullets went wide. That chaos was all the opening Gore needed. The man emerged from behind a massive oak and tackled the agent low, sending both men crashing to the ground.
What followed was less of a tactical engagement and more of a brutal street brawl. The Hydra agent was trained and dangerous, but he was also outnumbered three-to-one by guys who'd been fighting for their lives since they could walk.
"Get his fucking gun!" Garcia shouted, wrestling for control of the assault rifle while trying to avoid a knee to the ribs.
"I'm trying, hermano!" Kerry grunted back, attempting to pin the agent's weapon arm while the guy threw elbow strikes. "This cabrón's stronger than he looks!"
Gore, meanwhile, was trying to apply some kind of wrestling hold he'd probably seen on late-night UFC reruns. "Got him! No wait, shit, he's slipping out!"
The agent broke free for a moment, landing a solid right cross to Kerry's jaw that sent the kid sprawling backward into a tree. Blood sprayed from his split lip, and his eyes went wide.
"Nobody hits my hermano!" Garcia snarled, swinging his crowbar.
The steel bar connected with the agent's shoulder. The man screamed and dropped his rifle, clutching what was definitely a broken collarbone.
But the Hydra operative wasn't finished. He pulled a combat knife from his boot with his good arm and slashed at Gore's face, opening a long cut across the man's cheek that immediately started gushing blood.
"Fuck!" Gore stumbled backward, blood pouring into his eyes and temporarily blinding him. "I need backup!"
As he wiped blood from his face, the agent lunged forward for a killing blow, knife aimed at his ribs. Gore swung wildly with his bat, but his vision made it impossible to aim properly. The agent ducked under the swing and was about to drive the blade home when Kerry's crowbar came down on his skull from behind.
CRACK.
The sound echoed through the forest like a gunshot. The agent's eyes rolled back and he went limp, the knife slipping into the dirt.
"And that's how you play ball in the big leagues!" Kerry announced, grinning despite his bleeding lip.
But their celebration was cut short by the distinctive sound of automatic weapons fire deeper in the forest.
"Contacts, multiple directions!" Mario called out, shouldering his rifle. "Garcia, Kerry, you two handle the close quarters stuff. Gore, you're with me on overwatch."
The gang members took their positions without question. They'd learned to trust Mario's instincts during their vampire hunting operations, and this felt like just another night's work with different monsters.
The next wave of Hydra agents came in coordinated, and ready for a fight. But they weren't ready for Gore laying down suppressing fire with a captured assault rifle while screaming Spanish profanity at the top of his lungs.
"¡Vámonos, cabrones! Come get some of this!"
Garcia and Kerry flanked left and right.
"Left side!" Garcia called out, spotting an agent trying to flank Kerry's position.
Kerry spun and dove behind cover just as bullets chewed up the bark where his head had been. "Gracias, hermano!"
The firefight was intense but brief. When the smoke cleared, two more Hydra agents were down. Gore had a graze on his arm that was bleeding freely, and Kerry's split lip had reopened from all the shouting, but they were still breathing.
"Anyone else, or we done here?" Garcia asked, reloading his captured rifle.
Mario checked his minimap and cursed under his breath. The red dots weren't converging on his position like he'd expected, they were hauling ass toward the edge of the forest, almost out of his detection range.
Like hell I'm letting them escape.
He chugged a Swiftness Potion II from his inventory, feeling the rush as the enhancement kicked in. Forty percent speed boost, enough to turn him into a sprinting machine. Then he took off after the fleeing hostiles.
"Where's he going?" Kerry asked, watching Mario disappear into the forest.
"Probably chasing the runners," Garcia replied, applying pressure to Gore's wounded arm. "That's what I'd do."
---
The chase through Central Park was brief. Mario's enhanced speed let him close the distance rapidly, and within minutes he'd caught up to the retreating squad. They'd just broken free of the tree line and were making for what looked like an extraction point when Mario went prone and set up his anti-materiel rifle.
Four targets, spread out in tactical formation, moving fast across open ground. Standard sniper work, except for the invisibility and the enchantment.
He settled into a shooting position, controlled his breathing, and squeezed the trigger.
BANG.
The .50 caliber round caught the lead agent center mass, the impact literally cutting him in half at the waist. The Flame enchantment immediately ignited both halves of the corpse, reducing them to ash in seconds.
"Contact rear!" one of the surviving agents screamed.
The remaining three spun around with weapons raised, but all they saw was empty parkland. Their faces went white as they realized the truth, they were being hunted by something they couldn't see or fight.
BANG.
Another shot, another puff of fire and ash. Mario was getting into a rhythm now. Nothing like actual combat experience to sharpen your technique.
BANG.
"The enemy can turn invisible—" The agent's warning was cut short as Mario's third shot vaporized his head.
Rat-tat-tat-tat...
The last surviving agent opened up with full auto, spraying bullets wildly in all directions, hoping to hit something, anything. Mario dropped flat and let the rounds whine overhead, then popped back up for his final shot.
BANG.
Of the original eight-man Hydra squad, only one remained. The rest had been reduced to ash and scattered by the breeze, leaving no evidence of their existence.
The violent firefight had drawn attention from nearby joggers and dog walkers, but they'd had enough sense to run the other way instead of gawking at an active crime scene. New Yorkers were smart like that.
The last surviving agent stared at the spots where his teammates had been vaporized. Even with professional military training, watching seven men get disintegrated by an invisible sniper was enough to break anyone's sanity.
Mario had deliberately spared this one for a simple reason, while the others had shown up as red dots on his minimap, this guy was displaying as white.
Even if he's not Hydra, there's no way he should be neutral after what just happened.
He waited until the agent emptied his magazine, then walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. When the man spun around, Mario gently introduced him to his bat.
Bonk.
The sound was dull, but it did the job. The agent's eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the grass.
Mario hoisted the unconscious man over his shoulder and began collecting the scattered weapons and gear from the battlefield. Nothing special, but equipment was equipment. He could always sell the hardware later if nothing else.
---
When Mario returned to the forest clearing, he found Garcia, Kerry, and Gore sitting around like they were at a picnic. Gore was using his shirt to apply pressure to his facial wound, while Kerry was experimenting with different ways to make his split lip look tougher.
"You guys look like shit," Mario said, setting down his prisoner. "Hold on."
He opened his inventory and pulled out several items.
"Eat these," he said, tossing each of them a steak. "And drink these."
Garcia caught his steak and immediately bit into it.
Kerry held up the glowing bottle suspiciously. "What the hell is this stuff?"
"Healing potion."
"Healing potion?" Gore raised an eyebrow but was already uncapping his bottle. "You mean like video game shit?"
"Something like that. Just drink it."
All three gang members chugged their potions simultaneously. The effects were immediate and dramatic, Kerry's split lip sealed itself, Garcia's bruised ribs stopped aching, and the gash on Gore's face began closing up like a zipper.
"That's some serious shit, hermano." Garcia flexed his torso experimentally, testing his now-healed ribs. "Good thing too, because those pendejos don't mess around."
"Tell me about it," Kerry agreed, gingerly touching his swollen jaw. "Felt like getting punched by a brick wall."
Gore kicked at one of the ash piles where an agent used to be. "Damn, Mario. What kind of ammo you using? That's some serious firepower."
"Special rifle," Mario replied absently. "Flame enchantment. Kills the target and destroys the evidence all in one shot."
"Efficient," Garcia nodded approvingly. "So who were these guys anyway? Government black ops?"
"Worse," Mario said grimly. "These agents work for an organization called Hydra."
"Hydra?" Kerry frowned, trying to remember if he'd heard the name before. "Like the mythological thing with all the heads?"
"Like the Nazi organization that survived World War Two and infiltrated every major government agency in the world," Mario corrected. "They've been running shadow operations for decades."
Garcia stopped walking and stared at Mario. "Wait, you're telling me we just fought actual Nazis?"
"Technically neo-Nazis."
"Shit," Garcia said, his expression brightening considerably. "Well, that makes me feel a lot better about all the violence."
They reached Mario's hidden base entrance, where the unconscious Hydra agent was still zip-tied to a tree. Mario gestured toward both prisoners.
"Help me get these two underground. I want to have a little chat with them."
Garcia hefted one unconscious agent with a grunt. "Damn, this cabrón's heavier than he looks. What you planning to do with them?"
"Information extraction," Mario replied, pulling away the concealing dirt block that hid his base entrance. "Welcome to my operation center, gentlemen."
The three gang members descended into Mario's underground complex. They'd known Mario was resourceful, but this was something else.
"Damn, Mario," Gore said admiringly. "You built all this yourself?"
"Yeah," Mario confirmed, dropping his prisoner onto a wooden chair. "Have a seat, guys. This might take a while."
He began stripping both agents of all gear, weapons, and equipment. Everything went into either his inventory system or a conveniently placed lava pit.
The unconscious agent, the one showing as white on Mario's minimap, started to stir about ten minutes later. The first thing he did was instinctively reach for his sidearm, but Mario had already confiscated everything down to his bootlaces.
"Morning, sunshine," Mario said pleasantly, while holding his anti-materiel rifle with its massive barrel pointed directly at the man's forehead. "I want to test something. Who's faster, you, or this gun?"
The agent swallowed hard, feeling like he was staring into the eyes of death itself. Cold sweat soaked through his vest in seconds.
"Here's how this works. I ask questions, you answer them truthfully. If you understand, nod your head."
The agent nodded frantically. Watching his entire squad get disintegrated by an invisible enemy had already shattered his mental defenses. Real life wasn't like the movies, people broke a lot easier than Hollywood suggested.
"Good. Name?"
"W-Woody..."
"Woody?" Garcia burst out laughing from his position near the entrance. "Such a manly name. But seriously? That's like naming your kid Dick Johnson!"
"Actually," Kerry interjected thoughtfully, "didn't they legalize like a hundred different genders in America? Each one's got special legal protections now."
Gore looked confused. "A hundred? How's that even work in practice?"
"I dunno, hermano. It's complicated. There's like regular male and female, then gay male and lesbian female, then there's people who are both, people who are neither, people who change back and forth depending on the day..."
"¿En serio?" Gore's eyes were wide. "That sounds exhausting to keep track of."
"Can we focus?" Mario interrupted, though he was trying not to smile. "Gender, Woody?"
"...Male," Woody replied weakly.
Before Mario could continue his interrogation, a soft flutter of wings echoed through the tunnel entrance. Pearl came gliding back into the base. His massive bat form barely fitted through the underground tunnels.
All three gang members immediately raised their weapons.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Kerry screamed.
"Relax," Mario called out calmly. "Pearl, meet Garcia, Kerry, and Gore. Guys, meet Pearl."
The vampire bat landed beside Mario, and Woody's eyes went wide. A meter-long bat was the stuff of nightmares, but most people had never seen anything like Pearl outside of nature documentaries about prehistoric monsters.
"That's a big fucking bat," Garcia said, lowering his rifle slowly.
"He's on our side," Mario agreed. "He's also surprisingly well-educated. Aren't you, Pearl?"
"Mario, what's our situation with these two prisoners?" Pearl asked, gesturing toward Woody and the still-unconscious Hydra agent.
Kerry nearly dropped his weapon. "IT TALKS!"
"Of course I talk," Pearl replied, sounding mildly offended. "I'm not some mindless creature."
Garcia stared at the giant bat for a long moment, then shrugged. "You know what? After fighting Nazis, a talking bat is actually pretty reasonable."
"Thank you," Pearl said graciously. "At least someone here has perspective."
Mario pointed at the unconscious Hydra agent who was still zip-tied to his chair. "That one's definitely a deep-cover operative. He's all yours, turn him. But check his mouth for poison capsules first."
He said this partly for Woody's benefit. From their brief conversation, he had already pegged Woody as a regular soldier rather than a fanatic. If the guy was really Hydra, he'd be screaming "Hail Hydra!" and trying to bite down on a cyanide tooth right about now.
"You want me to convert him?" Pearl asked, licking his lips unconsciously. "It's been quite some time since I've had a proper meal."
"Wait," Kerry interrupted nervously. "Convert him into what?!"
"A vampire," Mario explained patiently. "They make excellent sources of information, and they're completely loyal once turned."
Gore looked thoughtful. "So when you said we were vampire hunters..."
"Pearl here is one of the good ones," Mario clarified. "Mostly."
"I'm standing right here," Pearl pointed out dryly.
"HAIL HYDRA!"
The second agent, who'd been lying motionless and apparently unconscious, suddenly snapped his eyes open and shouted the battle cry with fanatical fervor. Nobody had noticed him regaining consciousness during the conversation.
His face immediately started turning blue as cyanide from a hidden tooth capsule flooded his system.
"Shit!" Mario quickly pulled out a bucket of milk from his inventory and forced it down the agent's throat. The effect was immediate, the blue tint faded from the man's skin, though the antidote couldn't heal the damage the poison had already caused.
The Hydra agent looked even worse than before, but at least he wasn't dying anymore.
"Well," Garcia commented, "that answers the Nazi question pretty definitively."
"HAIL HYDRA!" the agent repeated weakly, glaring at his captors with the kind of fanatical hatred that couldn't be reasoned with.
"Yeah, we heard you the first time, pendejo," Gore said dismissively. "You got anything else to contribute, or you just gonna keep shouting slogans?"
Mario turned to Pearl with a gesture toward the Hydra agent. "He's all yours."
With a soft poof, Pearl transformed back into his massive humanoid form. An eager smile spread across his pale features as he rubbed his hands together.
Mario noticed that Pearl had slimmed down a bit since their last meeting. Before, his stubby arms couldn't even reach each other when he tried to clap. Now he looked almost... normal.
"Could you toss him over to me?" Pearl asked sheepishly.
Mario sighed and grabbed the fanatic by his tactical vest, literally throwing him to Pearl like a sack of laundry. Pearl didn't hesitate, he immediately sank his fangs into the man's neck.
A weak, pitiful scream escaped the agent's lips as Pearl fed, but it was cut short as venom began flooding his system. He was neat about his feeding, no blood splatter. In less than a minute, he released the drained agent and stepped back.
The three gang members watched this display in silence. They'd seen Mario decapitate vampires with axes and watched people burn to ash, but there was something disturbing about watching someone get converted into a monster.
"He's converting now," Pearl reported, wiping a trace of blood from his chin. "Whether he survives the transformation depends on him."
"What about this one?" He pointed at Woody with hunger. "Does he require converting as well?"
Woody shivered as the vampire's attention focused on him.
Mario walked over to the unconscious Hydra agent and poured a healing potion down his throat. If that didn't keep him alive through the conversion process, nothing would.
He turned his attention back to Woody, walking toward him.
"Woody, let's continue our little chat. A couple days ago, did you come to Central Park?"
Woody felt like his brain had turned to mush. Too much had happened today for him to process rationally.
"Yes... I came here."
Mario nodded slightly. "Are you with Hydra?"
Woody shook his head quickly. "I don't even know what Hydra is. This morning I was told we were extracting a high-value asset. Nobody mentioned Nazis or vampires or... whatever the hell this is."
The answer didn't surprise Mario. If Woody had been a true believer, he would've been shouting slogans and trying to activate his own suicide device by now.
"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Woody, by rights I should kill you for participating in an operation to murder me. But I think you're just a pawn being used by people who don't give a shit about your life."
Garcia nodded approvingly from his position by the entrance. "That's fair, hermano. Guy seems like regular military."
"Final question," Mario continued, settling into a chair across from Woody. "Do you want to work for me? And before you answer, let me explain what that means."
Mario spent the next fifteen minutes explaining Hydra's history, goals, and methods. He didn't sugarcoat anything, but he didn't exaggerate either, just the facts from a neutral perspective. Secret Nazi organization, infiltration of government agencies, plans for world domination, the whole nine yards.
Woody listened as the pieces fell into place. When Mario mentioned that Hydra had already taken over S.H.I.E.L.D. from within, a chill ran down his spine. He glanced at his teammate convulsing on the ground, then thought about the seven men who'd been vaporized by an invisible sniper. He felt like he'd stumbled into some massive conspiracy that was way above his clearance level.
"I'll work for you."
Mario's cold expression melted into a smile. "Smart choice, Woody. Welcome to the team."
As he spoke, he discretely slipped his sword back into his inventory. He'd had the blade pressed against Woody's neck during the entire conversation, ready to end him if the agent had chosen poorly.
"Garcia, Kerry, Gore," he continued, turning to address his first associates in this world. "I want you three to join my organization as well. Official positions, steady pay, full benefits package."
The gang members looked at each other in surprise, then back at Mario.
"You serious?" Garcia asked. "Like, real employment with a W-2 and everything?"
"As real as it gets," Mario confirmed. "I need people I can trust, and you guys have proven yourselves time and again. Plus, I owe you an apology."
"Apologize for what?" Kerry asked suspiciously.
Mario looked embarrassed. "When I first met you three, I thought you were trying to assault that woman."
Garcia burst out laughing, slapping his knee. "Assault? Hermano, we were trying to find a club that served decent chicken wings!"
"That was the reason? But your approach was... intimidating."
"We've been working on that," Gore said defensively. "Candy's been giving us tips."
"Wait," Woody interrupted, looking confused. "You thought they were rapists but hired them anyway?"
"I hired them after I realized they couldn't be rapists. Once I saw them in action, I couldn't imagine them hurting anyone who didn't deserve it."
Kerry grinned widely. "That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said about us, Mario."
The recruitment process was more formal than any of them had expected. Mario produced an actual clipboard with official-looking paperwork, while Pearl took notes.
"Previous military experience?" Mario asked Woody, consulting his forms.
"Army Rangers, three tours in Afghanistan," Woody replied. "Specialized in reconnaissance and urban warfare."
"Excellent. Any moral objections to killing Nazis and vampires?"
"Not even a little bit."
Garcia raised his hand like he was in school. "Can we get interviewed too? This looks official as hell."
"You three are already hired," Mario said. "But if you want the full employment experience..."
"Hell yes," Kerry said immediately. "I never had a real job interview before. This is exciting."
Mario sighed and produced more clipboards. "Fine. Garcia, previous work experience?"
"Uh... freelance acquisition specialist?"
"He means thief," Gore translated helpfully.
"Freelance acquisition specialist sounds better," Garcia protested.
"Fair enough. Kerry?"
"Security consultant."
"He beat people up for money," Gore explained.
"Security consultant!" Kerry insisted.
"And Gore, what about you?"
"Automotive redistribution engineer."
Garcia and Kerry stared at their friend.
"What?" Gore said defensively. "It sounds professional and technically accurate."
"You stole cars, hermano," Garcia pointed out.
"I redistributed automotive resources to underserved communities."
Mario made notes on all three forms with a straight face. "You know what? You're all hired. Congratulations."
Woody watched this exchange with growing confusion and amusement. "Are you guys actually criminals, or...?"
"Vampire hunters," Garcia said proudly, puffing out his chest.
Mario sighed, and guided Woody toward a red reclining chair. It looked suspiciously like dental equipment that had been modified for more sinister purposes.
"I'll handle the paperwork with S.H.I.E.L.D.," he assured him. "Director Fury and I go way back. I'll give him a call and square everything. You don't need to worry about the politics."
"What are you going to do?" Woody asked nervously, staring at the massive syringe Mario was preparing. The thing was filled with white liquid, and if you looked closely, you could see chunks of garlic floating in the mixture.
Mario said cheerfully. "Just relax, this'll be quick. Endure it for a few seconds and you'll be stronger than you ever imagined. Don't you want to be a superhero like Captain America?"
Kerry cleared his throat. "Uh, hermano, can't I just join the organization without... this?"
Garcia smacked him on the back of the head. "With great power comes great responsibility, pendejo. We're gonna have real jobs now. We need the abilities to back it up."
Gore nodded sagely. "Plus, can't be worse than what we went through on the streets, right?"
Woody fell silent, tempted by the promise of enhanced abilities. After everything he'd witnessed today, the idea of gaining superhuman powers seemed almost reasonable.
He glanced once more at Mario and the syringe, then closed his eyes and accepted his fate.
"Do it. Now. Give it to me!"
"AHHHHHHH!"
A scream tore from his throat that echoed through the underground complex. His eyes snapped wide open, veins bulging on his forehead as agony flooded his nervous system.
The pain was indescribable. Three seconds of garlic extract burning through his bloodstream felt like dying and being resurrected repeatedly. He had survived IED explosions and firefights, but nothing had prepared him for this level of suffering.
"I think... I saw the face of God," he gasped as he stumbled out of the chair. "And he was laughing at me."
"That's just hallucinations. They fade after a few minutes."
"Your turn, Garcia," Mario said cheerfully, refilling the syringe.
Garcia reluctantly approached the chair like he was walking to his own execution. "Madre de Dios, this better be worth it."
"AAAHHHHH!"
"Kerry, you're up."
Kerry swaggered forward. "How bad could it be? I've been shot before, stabbed twice, and once got hit by a car."
"FUUUUUCK!"
Finally, Gore sat down. "At least I know what to expect now."
"SHIIITTT!"
Mario could smell the familiar scent of vampire hunter emerging from all four bodies, and he smiled in satisfaction.
"Welcome to the Hunter Association. You're all going to do great things."