Chapter 234: If So, Remove Your Balls
Bang!
Professor Pandel burst into the room, and when I saw Erin's startled, trembling blue eyes behind her helmet, I raised a hand to greet her.
"Ban?"
"Hey."
It hadn't been long since I'd last visited, so no need for small talk. I naturally stood beside Erin and started eavesdropping on what was happening inside.
"What's going on? I thought I saw another Delphine... Is that the elf ranger you said you brought from the forest?"
"That's Professor Pandel."
"What the hell happened?!"
Clearly not his usual self, Pandel now looked like a female elf resembling Delphine. Erin, curious, pressed her ear to the door with me.
"Delphine! What the hell did you put in that potion?!"
"Huh? You said you wanted to reduce your masculinity, so I added my blood and used an elixir as a catalyst to create a gender-swapping potion."
"I just wanted a hormone suppressant or estrogen to neuter Ban!!"
"You were going to use it on Ban?!"
Chaos erupted inside, with Delphine yelling back. The shouting was so intense even Frederica, the workshop owner, came to investigate.
"What's going on here?"
What a public embarrassment. I explained.
"Professor Pandel's dick will never get hard again."
"Is that some kind of new slang from kids these days?"
"No. Ban's just awful at explaining things. He only speaks well when hitting on girls."
Ahem. Can't argue with that.
"From what I'm hearing, sounds like it was the gender-change potion Delphine and I worked on recently."
"Gender-change potion... that's possible?"
"It basically restructures the body into one like Delphine's using her blood. It only works on Pandel because of the genetic link. And yes, a large amount of elixir was used at her request... why are you looking at me like that?"
"...Do you extract elixir from the bathroom?"
Frederica's face turned beet red.
"You say the most outrageous things! That accident last time was a leak. Normally, it's extracted via syringe without any perverted acts!"
Red light flared from Erin's eyes inside her helmet.
"Perverted acts...? That's a concerning choice of words."
Uh-oh. I might be in trouble too.
Bang!
Pandel stormed out, forehead vein bulging, chest heaving, and one boob exposed from his now-loose clothes.
"Pandel, your boobs are bigger than mine?!"
Delphine, furious at the sight.
'What a mess.'
"Weren't you supposed to be calm lately, boss? Isn't this a bit much..."
Erin reached into my pants and grabbed tightly.
'Ow... this hurts...'
Am I going to get castrated like Pandel?
"Hmph... now's not the time... right?"
"It's definitely not the time."
"And if I crush this, you lose too!"
Startled by that, Erin loosened her grip.
"N-Not true! It'd just be satisfying to break it!"
She said that, but her cautious hand placement showed her true feelings.
It took about an hour for things to settle down.
Frederica went back to managing paperwork in her office, and after some discussion with Delphine, Professor Pandel concluded:
"I can't go back?!"
"Yup. Do you have any stored blood samples?"
"No. The only time I bled intentionally was to prevent infection, and I'd always incinerate it with magic."
"Then it's impossible. I made the potion with my blood to restructure your body like mine. If you want to revert, you'd need your own blood and an elixir to make a new potion."
"...Blood! Don't you have any of my blood?!"
Pandel lunged at me, but of course I didn't.
"Spit! The teacup! Or maybe a hair or beard trimmings!"
"Dead tissue won't work. And a few drops of blood aren't enough. The elixir needs fresh blood during the transformation."
Delphine revealed a scar along her arm where she'd sliced open a large vein near her armpit to collect blood. That hadn't been there during the last experiment.
Tap.
Hearing this, Pandel put on an oddly calm face, tidied up a cluttered table, made space to sit, and called Delphine over.
It looked like he was preparing for a serious talk, but something felt ominous.
"Let's go over this calmly, Delphine."
"Okay."
"So the potion I got turned me into a female half-elf like you, not what I intended?"
"You asked for reduced testosterone, so I made the simplest solution."
"And to reverse it, I'd need fresh samples from my old body?"
"Not a side effect—just the potion working as intended."
"So... I'm stuck like this?"
"Yep."
Pandel tried to flip the table but failed because of his earlier injuries—he barely lifted it before letting it fall.
"You expect me to accept this?!"
"Should've stored your own blood."
"I'm not a damn vampire! And you didn't even make an antidote?!"
Hilarious. If it had worked on me, he'd be laughing right now.
"I wrote plenty of warnings. You didn't read them, did you?"
"Grrr..."
"In alchemy, when the client custom-orders a potion, they're responsible once they accept and pay. Misuse is on them..."
"Shut up! Turn me back!!"
Pandel started throwing a tantrum—not by blasting spells, but by flailing on the ground.
"...Is he always like this?"
"Nope."
Even Erin was dumbfounded.
"Change me back!!"
If he were still the disheveled male half-elf I knew, it'd be a disturbing sight. But now, as a cute female half-elf, his whining was almost... tolerable.
"Waaaah!!"
'He's crying... Professor Pandel is crying.'
Thus ended the great neutering attempt—with a self-inflicted, permanent gender change. The man who once teased others for not getting hard would now never get hard again.
"This is bad."
Whether he continued working in the infirmary or retired, it was going to be a problem.
'Or... maybe it's fine?'
"Why are you casually groping my ass?"
"It's conveniently placed."
Smack!
Ow. Erin's slap really stung today.
After crying himself out, Pandel passed out in my arms and I carried him back.
He kept muttering.
"Calm down. Emotional control leads to strength. Isn't that a knightly saying?"
"Coming from you, that's rich."
I think I'm very emotionally stable, actually.
"Sigh..."
"Look at it this way. You weren't using that dick anyway..."
"Used or not, who wouldn't freak out over a sudden sex change? Unless you're born into a gender-changing species."
"Right, right."
"It's lucky I don't have a mana circuit. Otherwise I'd have to rebuild it from scratch. And what if I had a lover? How would I explain this?"
"Do you?"
"No."
"Then we're good."
Pandel trembled with a hand on my chest but was too exhausted to fight.
"This is all your fault."
"How? You tried to secretly drug your student and got hit with it instead. You should've just asked me."
"Would you have taken it if I asked?"
"Hell no. Are you crazy?"
Back at the infirmary, I helped the grumbling Pandel into the inner lab.
"What'll you do now?"
"I don't know. I'm not even myself anymore. I can't tell how I'm different from Delphine."
He gave a bitter smile. With his slimmer jawline, tired expression, and tousled hair clinging to his face, he actually looked... kinda sexy.
"Ha! Serves you right!"
"You little shit!!"
Pandel fired a spell and chased me. After a brief chase, he collapsed from exhaustion.
"I'll neuter that bastard!!"
At least he's got his spirit back. But I'm never eating his food again.
"Professor, I hurt my leg."
"Professor, I twisted my arm."
"Professor, something's wrong with my groin."
"Alright, last guy—drop your pants. I'll chop it off, you bastard."
The infirmary, once avoided by all, was now flooded with male students showing off bruises or bug bites to get a visit. The knight order was in chaos.
"Hey, what are you gawking at? Hurry up and kick them out."
"Y-Yes."
Professor Pandel called me in to help shoo them away. I guess having me around keeps the others in check?
'Also... he's acting more and more like a woman... but I'm ignoring it.'
"Stop swaying your hips. Those guys are gonna lose it."
"You're the only one looking at me like that."
'Nah, I'd say about 149 others are too.'
"Looks like I'll have to protect our dear Professor Pandel."
"You're the most dangerous one here."