A local celestial named Arullo, a skinny, thin-legged bogan in a short tunic with a tousled shock of blond hair, appeared to soothe my unease with an encouraging greeting:
"Do you know how much fun they have playing pranks on you... Lana?"
"Well, of course, that's exactly why I'm here! God Arullo... I've never heard of you!"
"My name was mentioned in ancient epics, lost to time... In a distant land, I raised a pretty white people, now renowned for their singing and dancing... I settled here in this warm land, now rejected by them!"
"Are they angry at you for something? Admit it, you raise whores too?"
...Although it was hard to imagine with his comical appearance...
"Not at all! I have a different line of work... I entertain them on Earth! They pine and pine for me!" — "Oh, come on! How so?"
"I won't brag too much, but my avatars are famous frontmen of world-famous rock bands! You've probably heard at least one song!"
He sang a familiar retro tune to me, one that was a huge hit in the 80s, even before I was born.
"Oh... of course I recognize it! That shaggy old man still sings that! Your avatar?"
"He was much more handsome in his youth!"
"I can believe it..."
"And his bedroom is still full!"
... What a braggart!
"And how did that happen? Back then, rock performers were flocking to the world's stages to rile up young souls! What was all this for?"
"I did it just like that, not expecting such a massive surge of sexual interest from girls in loud, hot-looking, long-haired men in tight leather leggings, intensely tugging at microphones between their legs."
"And this is a significant achievement for spirits? How did it affect your existence?"
"Of course it had an effect... Young women, after life, turned out to be more liberated than the women of previous centuries! That was encouraging..."
"And where are they now?"
"They live in 4D wherever it's most advantageous for them."
"What benefit can one gain in the astral reality?"
"Well, you know... it concerns comfortable living conditions. After all, we also need comfort, despite the thinness of the material of our world. You must admit, it's more pleasant to live in a palace than in an ordinary home."
... Of course!" It's much better to imagine yourself as a noble person in the astral imprints of some luxurious mansion...
"And how do these persons pay?"
"Can't you guess what, silly?" - Arullo flicked his finger at my nose.
"With their body?"
"And special skills for pleasing men."
"Ha... I hardly think I'm capable of that, huh?" - I stammered, wincing.
"Yes, you'll get used to it! You seem beautiful! Everyone adapts if they want to live in 4D with celebrities.
"Do you have a palace?"
"Nope! Don't try to sneak in! Even though you're my type, I'd rather find you someone else."
"No need!"
...Others appeared very soon, disguised as valiant knights of ancient Britain.
Their brief excursion into their Crusades impressed me with some details of their long journeys to the Middle East. I had to believe their stories, given their peculiar mentality.
"Why did you even go there? Did you find anything valuable?"
"Well... not everyone returned home; some remained in European villages, seduced by the lovely girls who joyfully clung to our shining armor when they met. Many died, but fortunately were reborn as knights many times over. Actually, after that, we stopped listening to the bishops' insistent calls to find the Holy Grail and switched to exterminating the proliferation of mages in Britain..."
"And why did you kill them?" - My eyes widened in horror.
"What do you think? Those creatures seemed a threat to the authorities, and many witches were exterminated too! And we also ripped your soul from your body back then for your magical abilities... don't hold it against me! Such people really do interfere with their power!"
"Did this happen to me too?" I was surprised, believing their stories. "Why so sure?"
"We remember you, witch of the forest druids. You were hiding in a cave when we discovered you in the deepest thicket."
"And why did you assume I was a witch?"
"Because if a woman lives alone in the forest and is able to survive, it means she can control the elements. That was our King's command, don't blame us for it."
... I felt cringe and hurt, and I stopped listening to them. I doubt I'd want to associate with them after this life.
"Why don't you be reborn and live like normal people?"
"The nature spirits are not allowing us to be reborn anymore because of these murders, and now we are stray folk in the interworld. We don't want to undergo atonement!"
"What atonement?"
'They threaten us with abortion as punishment, and it's very painful... no one wants to go through that!"