'This damned Hikigaya, entering my office even more naturally than Kirisu, people who don't know might even think this is his office.'
"How should I know, Teacher Kirisu called me here, you should ask Teacher Kirisu instead," Hachiman looked at Mafuyu Kirisu, who was sitting upright next to Hiratsuka Shizuka, hands placed on her thighs, sitting properly.
Mafuyu Kirisu didn't seem to be someone who had taught many problem students with subject bias, just that sleeping beauty from a certain class, but she was still very serious and rigid, wholeheartedly wanting students to focus on subjects they were good at, always with a cold face toward them.
"Disappointed. I remember I warned you not to neglect your studies and disturb your classmates in class. Look at what you've done. Today during class you were talking with so many classmates, and you even skipped the whole day yesterday," Hearing Hachiman's affected words, Mafuyu Kirisu's expression became frosty, her eyes fixed on him.
"Correction, I attended the first and afternoon classes yesterday, didn't skip the whole day," Hachiman shook his head, "Second, I didn't disturb Ichinose-san and Tenma-san during class, alright? I wasn't even in the classroom."
"I told you to focus in class, not to skip it!", Hearing Hikigaya mimicking her tone, Mafuyu Kirisu squeezed her slender, fair fingers hard, but as a well-qualified teacher, of course, she wouldn't use an iron fist like Hiratsuka Shizuka, instead glaring even colder at Hachiman.
As if wanting to use her teacherly authority to frighten Hachiman, to make him mend his ways.
If Hachiman didn't know that Mafuyu Kirisu was a complete mess in private life, he might still think she looked quite authoritative.
But thinking about how Mafuyu Kirisu might be even worse than the older single lady Hiratsuka Shizuka in terms of self-care ability, he couldn't help but want to laugh.
The nickname "Little Mafuyu" that Yuina and the others gave Kirisu was quite endearing and cute, could really compete with Hiratsuka Shizuka's "Little Shizu."
"What are you laughing at?", Seeing Hachiman not only ignoring her scolding full of authority but also nearly bursting into laughter, Mafuyu Kirisu almost couldn't keep her cold expression.
'What's with this Hikigaya?'
'I am kindly trying to educate him, and this guy doesn't take my words seriously at all?'
"Hikigaya, how could you skip class, and for a whole day too. Teacher Kirisu is doing this for your own good, you should listen to her," Hiratsuka Shizuka also put on a stern face, her slender fingers tapping the desk, giving Hachiman a look, signaling him to show some respect to Mafuyu Kirisu, give her some face.
Although Hachiman had a history, she suspected that him skipping class yesterday for so long was probably because he was involved with the elf princess Iris.
But how could she say such a thing, she could only cover for him, help him calm down Mafuyu Kirisu, let her leave the student counseling room satisfied after cooling off, no need to anger her over such matters.
'Tch, this guy Hikigaya can go on for half a day, could it be the elf princess took a liking to him because of this...'
"It's not that I'm not listening to Teacher Kirisu, I already stopped disturbing Tenma-san and Ichinose-san. It should be fine if I just don't attend class myself, right?", Hachiman shook his head and explained.
"After all, I want to become a househusband in the future. Even if I don't listen in class or study, it's fine as long as I find a good woman to marry after graduation."
Becoming the man behind a successful woman could be said to be a dream of his that he's hardly changed, just that now this dream expanded from one to many.
"...", Hiratsuka Shizuka was speechless. Although she already knew Hachiman's thinking, she still felt choked by how righteously he said it.
Currently, the highest-ranking students in the school were undoubtedly the transferred demi-humans: dragon clan chief Urusla, elf princess Iris, and the super-popular national idol mermaid singers, Eliot, Elusi, and Ayla.
Their status far surpassed that of Yukinoshita and Ichinose, daughters of congress members, and even those students connected to underground forces.
Urusla had a bad temper, Hikigaya wouldn't mess with her. The mermaid singers were busy with idol work and rarely came to school, Hikigaya couldn't meet them.
No matter how you looked at it, Hachiman's househusband dream was clearly aiming at elf princess Iris.
There were even rumors at school that Hachiman was very close with elf princess Iris.
She could confirm that Hikigaya's relationship with Iris was indeed very good, very deep, and long-lasting.
Even though every time she could only look at the clean and spotless student guidance office afterward, unable to see any evidence.
But ignoring these details, if Hachiman really got Iris, then he truly wouldn't need to study hard.
In this reality, she couldn't even bring herself to hypocritically tell Hachiman to work hard and carve out a career on his own.
With the status and power of the elf princess, someone like Hachiman, an ordinary person, couldn't reach her level even with a hundred lifetimes of studying...
"What do you mean it's fine to not work hard and not study? Even as a househusband, you need to have enough skills and knowledge to do it well. If you don't become a better version of yourself, how can you marry an excellent wife," Hiratsuka Shizuka understood Hikigaya's thoughts and situation, but Mafuyu Kirisu didn't know that deeply. She only saw a student who was somewhat biased in subjects but refused to work hard and only wanted shortcuts, completely ignoring her advice, her face icy, chest heaving in anger.
Clearly, Hachiman was in such a good position, surrounded by so many excellent and beautiful girls.
Yet he lacked motivation, only thinking about being supported by women.
'How could a boy this decadent and lazy attract the girls around him? The better and prettier the girls are, the higher their standards, you know!'
"Uh... Teacher Kirisu, I know you're doing this for my own good, but househusband skills don't really relate to world history, unless you want to teach me life skills," Hachiman knew that under normal circumstances, Mafuyu Kirisu was definitely right. Even if he wanted to be a househusband, he couldn't just skip class and mess around.
But obviously, he wasn't in a normal situation. He was already working hard toward his future as a househusband, not like Kirisu assumed, giving up and relying on others.
"Life skills...", Mafuyu Kirisu, hearing the term "househusband skills" from Hikigaya, wanted to properly educate him and stop him from neglecting his studies.
But thinking of her own appalling self-care ability, she fell into silence.
'If I were to teach Hikigaya with my own level... My dignity as a teacher might be completely lost..."
"Actually, Hikigaya knows he was wrong, he just has a thin skin and doesn't know how to apologize. Don't take it to heart," Seeing Mafuyu Kirisu fall silent with a dark face, Hiratsuka Shizuka thought she was fuming because of Hikigaya and quickly comforted her.
"How about you go back first today, Teacher Kirisu, let me handle the rest of his education. I promise you'll see a well-behaved Hachiman in class tomorrow."
"?", Hachiman looked at Hiratsuka Shizuka who decided on her own, but before he could refute her, she immediately got up, jumped over to his side, covered his mouth with her hand, and locked him down tightly with her arm.
"No talking back!"
"...Hope so. Hiratsuka-senpai, I'll leave it to you. Just guide Hikigaya-kun, no corporal punishment. If it really doesn't work, I'll talk to him again when I'm free tomorrow," Seeing Hiratsuka pinning down Hikigaya with a body lock, Mafuyu Kirisu sighed slightly.
"Hikigaya-kun, your liberal arts scores are actually pretty good. Though your sciences are lacking, with some effort, getting into college isn't a big problem. I hope you'll think it over," After saying that, Mafuyu Kirisu got up and left in her high heels.
"You hear that? Even now Teacher Kirisu is worried about you and won't let me teach you a lesson," Hiratsuka Shizuka glared at Hachiman, who was pinned on the sofa and couldn't speak. Although Kirisu was strict, she couldn't care for every student. The fact that Hikigaya was repeatedly summoned to the student counseling room showed that she really wanted to help him.
"Too heavy..."
"What?", Hiratsuka didn't catch it, so she subconsciously loosened the grip on Hikigaya's hands.
"I said, Little Shizu, you're too heavy," Hachiman pouted, indicating she should move away the gravity balls crushing his cheeks.
Thud!
"What do you mean too heavy? Say it clearly!", Feeling like Hikigaya was teasing her, Hiratsuka's face flushed with embarrassment and anger, clenching her fists, 'This Hikigaya...'
"Don't hit me. You're the one who pressed on my face."
The fair fist stopped in front of his face. Hiratsuka suddenly punched his thigh instead, then let go of him, glaring fiercely at the calmly sitting up Hikigaya who wasn't scared of her iron fist at all.
"You were calmly enjoying it! Still acting like a victim!"
She finally understood Mafuyu Kirisu's frustration and helplessness just now.
'At least pretend to struggle a little! You don't even bother to act!'
"It was you who rammed into my face first. It's already good I didn't bite back," Hachiman smiled and shook his head. He didn't want to recklessly provoke Hiratsuka or Kirisu, but if they insisted on sending benefits his way, he wouldn't refuse.
'Hmm... Little Shizu really lives up to being a late-stage single woman. They really are pretty big...'
"You! Enough! Let's drop this topic. Let's talk about you and Teacher Kirisu, why did you make her angry?", Hiratsuka was furious seeing Hikigaya smiling, but she couldn't really hit him. Earlier, she even worried that she might lose in a fight to this potentially super-strong Hikigaya, so she instinctively used most of her strength to hold him down.
Now that she failed to control him, she ended up in an awkward position herself. She could only grit her teeth and quickly change the topic.
Not to mention whether she could beat him. Even if she could, with how shameless Hikigaya was, he might go tattle to Kirisu about corporal punishment, and end up getting protected by her instead.
This kind of topic that clearly puts her at a disadvantage, she couldn't afford to dwell on it.
"I didn't mean to make Teacher Kirisu angry, I was just being honest."
"You manage the service club so well. Even a withdrawn girl that Yukinoshita couldn't guide listens to you. You can't be that low in emotional intelligence," Hiratsuka rolled her eyes at him. This wasn't about honesty. Clearly, he could satisfy Kirisu in a way she liked and keep things pleasant, but instead, he made the relationship worse.
"I just think there's no need to lie about these things. I'll make Teacher Kirisu accept my goal of becoming a househusband," Hachiman shook his head, 'In life, you can't completely avoid lying, but if you're going to lie, it should come with enough benefit, you can't just make stuff up.'
One lie leads to many more, and might even require real effort to cover.
Rather than making himself accept Kirisu's views, it's better to make her accept his.
"Accept your househusband goal...", Hiratsuka Shizuka was quite speechless, 'Is Hikigaya really going to confess to Kirisu that he has already found a sugar mommy in the elf princess and doesn't need to work hard?'
'Never mind whether this will affect the elf princess's reputation or whether Iris will allow it...'
'If it's really like that, with Kirisu's serious personality, she might instead make Hikigaya work even harder, so he won't fall short of the elf princess, and end up not even being qualified to be a househusband.'
"If nothing's wrong, then I'll head out now. I'll come see you again with Iris next time," Hachiman saw that Hiratsuka Shizuka was about to enter her teacher mode and lecture him right in his ear, so he immediately turned to leave.
If it were any other woman, and the two of them were alone in a room like this, he might have stayed to chat and build rapport. But not with Hiratsuka Shizuka.
Unlike students who just want to date and maybe marry after graduation, Hiratsuka Shizuka was an older single woman desperate to get married. If he carelessly provoked her, she might even beat Iris to having a kid with him.
"Who said nothing's wrong? Sit down and stay put!", Hiratsuka Shizuka, seeing Hachiman seemingly itching to flee, suddenly reached out and yanked him back down onto the sofa.
"Little Shizu, what do you want from me?", Hachiman was stunned but didn't resist her pull. After sitting back on the sofa, he looked curiously at her.
He thought Hiratsuka Shizuka had only come because Tōsaka Mafuyu was borrowing the student guidance room and she was here to supervise, afraid Mafuyu might start disciplining him.
He didn't expect that it was Shizuka herself who wanted something from him.
"Don't think just because I don't say anything that you can keep calling me whatever! What's with the 'little Shizu,' show some respect!", Hiratsuka Shizuka punched him hard on the thigh.
But Hachiman didn't react at all. His recent round-the-clock training had paid off. Although his physical strength still couldn't surpass Ursula, he could subdue her through other means and make her beg on the ground.
But against an ordinary person like Hiratsuka Shizuka, even if she wrapped her legs around his neck or arms and tried to use grappling techniques, he wouldn't feel a thing.
Trying to punish him with an iron fist? Not happening.
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