Hey, Kid!
Hey, Folks!
How have you all been?
Me?
Good, actually!
I feel...
Interesting, you know?
I met someone.
Someone...different.
New.
Strange.
Beautiful.
She might be...
Dare I say?
Your mother.
I think... I think I mean that.
We will see, yeah?
I really like her.
Like, really, really.
She is sharp of tongue and mind.
Intelligent.
Witty.
Independent.
She is quite the catch, you know?
Her brown skin feels good against my brown skin...
Hmm.
Chemistry is naught but our microscopic bits announcing their belief that they have found something that they like, lol
I think my bits like her bits.
She is but a couple of years older than I, and I like that fact.
I like older, more settled women.
They tend to be a bit more mature, set in their ways, and aware of what they do and don't want.
So far, she wants me, and that makes me happier than I can describe...
Happier than you can imagine.
I will turn her into poetry.
A habit of mine.
Want to know the best part?
I am pretty sure the attraction is mutual.
That feels amazing, you know?
After nearly four years of healing and working on myself, to find someone who looks at me with the same look in their eyes that I have.
That adoration
Hmm.
It feels...
Nice.
Scary.
Intimidating.
But I like it.
I need it.
It's been too long.
"I am an ever-lonely knight.
My heart, my sword. My mind, my shield.
For life, for Love, I'll stand and fight.
Forever in Love's battlefield."
To love is scary.
But life is full of things that we will face and fear.
On the other side of fear is everything we want.
I am terrified, Kid.
But what-ifs don't solve or move anything, you know?
I just have to dive in and have faith that she likes me just as much as I like her.
What do I have to lose?
You?
Well...maybe.
If she is destined to be your mother, lol.
More reason to just go for it, yeah?
Maybe...
Maybe I will see you in her eyes if I look close enough.
Hmm.
Let's see what Young me was up to five years ago, shall we?
I know who HE thought was your mother, lmao.
So much for that.
See you back here soon enough, yeah?
Enjoy!
(Slaps the Slappery-Slappish-Slappington 3000! and it whirls to life with an angry yet satisfying growl.)
That's my Time Machines name, OKAY!? WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!??!!?!?!
-----
May 6th, 2020.
-----
Dear You...
Ooooh, Love...
This is bad.
Corona Virus...
COVID-19...
So many people have died...
I'm afraid.
Not so much of death...
But of leaving people behind.
Not having you...
Losing those closest to me...
A friend of mine from high school passed on XXXXX's anniversary, 05-02-2020.
Sad...
The world is in a scary place...
And the government is not really doing nearly as much as they should or could be.
At least 60,000 have passed in the U.S.A. alone, and that number is going up by the day.
You would never expect to live during a pandemic...
I just hope to survive it.
Myself, your mom, all of us.
I hope we all get through this safe and healthy...
I started a new job 5-4-2020.
Working with youth again.
Back into the breach I go.
The end of this book draws near.
Hmmm.
I love you, Kid.
-Dad.
-----
Hmmm.
It is strange to be a Millennial, you know?
This pandemic (to me) was akin to something like the 9/11 Event.
That terrible, malicious, inhuman act.
That infamous happenstance that changed humanity for the better.
For the worse.
For good, in either direction.
We are so much different now than we were just five years back, you know?
I mean, yes, we are made to and meant to change with time and as it passes.
I get that.
But the speed at which we changed was...
Forced upon us.
By nature.
By man's hand.
By the very need to survive.
Sheesh...
So many lost.
You know?
Just over 1.2 million as of 2025, and counting.
That is staggering...
Scary.
Just as scary now as it was then.
-My fear of dying was tied to the things that I have still yet to finish, you know? And some of the things that I have yet to get to experience.
Being a father, stepdad or not.
Leaving the country.
Falling in love with the "love of my life"
FINISH MY ONGOING FICTION FANTASY SERIES!!!!
Those sorts of things.
I didn't fear death so much as leaving without having left a legacy, I suppose.
I was not very happy in my relationship, so I guess I didn't see that as worth living for, outside of the fact that death would be the one thing that would guarantee that you were never born.
-I think the U.S government knew about COVID much earlier than May of 2020, and they failed to key us all in...
I was very, very, very, very sick in late 2019 of something that I had never experienced before. Something that I felt was very nearly going to kill me. I was so sick, and much sicker than I had ever been, that I had no idea what to do with myself, and it seemed as if NOTHING that I did would help or make me feel any better.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't taste.
My muscles felt as if they were falling off the bone...
I could do nothing but take in bits of liquids, applesauce, and soup, and you know what?
Most of that came right back out from either my upper hole, or the southern hole, if you get my drift...
It was hell.
I am sure it was COVID.
You want to know what else?
After I got "better" and everyone began to catch it rapidly, I was essentially immune to it.
I tended to my then-fiancé as she lay dying of it. She recovered, and so did all of her immediate family, who had also contracted it...
That shit was terrifying and wild.
I am so sorry to anyone who lost someone...
I lost one of my uncles, and I know many, many other people who have lost people.
My love and condolences go out to you all.
-My friend who had passed away was just my age.
That was such a strange shock to my system.
He was always so vibrant and healthy, but to this day, I have no idea what really happened to him, and if he was one of the millions of global casualties of the pandemic.
Hmm.
He was a good friend of mine back when we were in high school, and one of my favorite characters in my O.L.K. Origin story.
His name is Airyos, and he is a High Elf and a master Swordsman.
He is a proud, strong, studious Elf, and I think my friend would have loved to be represented in such a way, as HE was the one who sat and came up with the character with me when we were quite young.
Never did either of us imagine that it would be a digital novel one day...
Nor could I have guessed that he wouldn't be around to read it.
Hmm...
I'll honor him as best I can, you know?
That's all any of us can do for our lost loved ones.
I wonder if...If YOU were lost during that terrible pandemic, Kid...
I hope not.
I really, really hope not.
-I survived where many did not, and a part of my hates that, you know?
Why was I left alive?
For you to read these weird books and stories of mine?
To write for you all to have something to relate to?
To keep searching for...waiting for YOU to get to me?
I think I may have met the woman who is destined to be your mother.
Hmm...that could be presumptuous of me, but I hope so.
I do,
If not?
At least I'll have these old letters already written by the time Future me realizes that you really aren't meant for this world in this rendition of my life.
Hmm, indeed.
I love you all, Folks.
You above all else, Kid.
I will see you all back here just as soon as I have time, yeah?
You have my word.
Please stay safe and love each other till then, yeah?
It isn't hard to be kind.
Safe travels, Folks.
You as well, Kid.
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Bluu.
P.S.
Yes, it's Bluu now in place of Redd, lbvs.
A healthy, healed shift in who I am was very necessary, and so here we are.
Maybe I'll be Purple sooner or later, lmao.
ALSO!
I can't recall in what capacity I worked with kids again, lol, BUT I have an idea of what I was doing.
We will see soon enough, yeah?
Till next time, Kid.
Folks.
Love Bluu.
UPDATE! 10/20/2025.
(Random triggering of The Slappery-Slappish-Slappington 3000! slporps me into the time of whatever time the current time is near you!)
The next page contained...another page for this journal entry, lbvs.
I am so sorry!
There is also a sketch of a knight standing on a hilltop with his sword raised over his head, and his shield strapped to his back.
Beneath him and the hill is a quote that I wrote some time ago.
It reads:
"Be the light in the darkness.
Even if you can only save one...
Even if you are the only one.
Stand fast for what you believe in, Kid.
People will either rally to you,
Or get out of your way.
-Dad.
Hmm.
Quite a quote, you know?
I still think this way, and thus I stand by this to this day.
As should you, Kid.
Don't let the world shift or change you, yeah?
Life is far too short for all that jibba jabba.
Go be happy, okay?
I have found my person.
She means everything to me.
Maybe she will lead to you, you know?
Hmm.
We will see, and what will be, will be.
See you soon, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
-Bluu.