"...Don't do me, don't do me!"
Seojin stared at the shark wearing a pair of blue, nike sneakers.
He moved his right hand back and forth, trying to aim the cursor properly, pressing WSAD with the keyboard positioned slightly slanted, aggressively.
But a capybara inside a hairy, brown coconut shell landed a rolling dropkick to the shark, followed by a combo leading to a knockout.
"Fudge!"
His face contorted.
"This bastard is definitely using an autoclicker. How can one press faster than a father leaving to buy milk?!"
Father.
If there was something in the world Seojin was abundant in, that would be a father.
His mother was a star model, Yoon Hyerin. She married the mayor and had him as a result. Who knew that even a mayor was capable of travelling to another country just to buy milk?
Thus Hyerin-ssi married another six men who stood at the top of the social ladder under the pretense of giving her child a proper father.
Then again, who knew all those six other men went to a lifetime vacation in their respective country of their choosing, or maybe to buy… a PS6 in advance for Seojin!
"Man, I'm starving. Urgghghgh…"
Seojin held his stomach, growling, and hadn't tasted a proper meal since yesterday.
Hyerin-ssi had flown to the country for an international modeling photoshoot project two days ago, leaving him with a fridge full of meals yet to be cooked.
It had never been empty to begin with!
"I should eat… yeah, …oil up and wait for me."
Yet instead of going downstairs and actually doing it, oiling up the chicken wings and fry it, he just stared at the monitor for a few seconds, closed the game, and opened a novel site instead.
His laziness had won in the end.
Tap, tap, tap!
He opened a novel he had been reading for seven years.
"Hey, hey! This is reality, …right? That lazy bum, piece of trash, loser, useless, good-for-nothing, bastard, actually uploaded a new freakin' chapter?"
Seojin stared at the monitor with an unidentified expression.
"Holy shit, mark the damn calendar!"
His jaw hung like a broken hinge, eyes wide as if he'd just witnessed the world nearing its end. He sat there, bathed in the glow of his screen like an idiot philosopher discovering fire for the third time.
Truly, he was as stunned as a goldfish seeing a new castle in its bowl.
But who could blame him, honestly?
The novel had been sitting in his library for seven years with only 776 chapters, plus 1 now miraculously. Meanwhile, its peers had already wrapped up entire trilogies, side stories, and a prequel about the pet cat.
Tap, tap!
၊ Chapter 777: A Destined Death [7]
၊ A man with golden hair dragged himself through the broken debris of a fallen civilization. His golden eyes, which usually carried a faint light, had grown dim and nearly turning gray.
၊ He bore his gaze at the man kneeling before him, whose body was drenched with a pool of blood beneath him.
၊ 'If I had known it would come to this, I… I never would have forced you to play that role…'
၊ Blood poured out from the man's body in great amounts, spraying and dripping to the ground. It did not stop. Frothy red foam poured, making the color of the ground beneath him unmistakably dyed red.
၊ "Is all of this… your blood?"
Tap!
Seojin closed the chapter.
He couldn't bear to finish reading it; aside from the author's poor writing skills that hadn't improved in the span of seven years, the villain's death was pitiful; pitied by the MC saved by a plot armor.
"Fudger! There were many other alternate endings for this arc that could've been better than— cough! Damn it!"
If there was one thing this novel had excelled at, it was giving new and unexpected arcs or decisions that not even he, the Great Seojin who had reached the peak of cultivation, could predict.
Though it was also one of its weakness; MC received plot armor just for the sake of him being alive.
He opened the forum.
Tap, tap, tap!
၊ Seojin ၊ Yo, degenerates! The ancient relic updated. So… anyone still alive in this fandom? Thoughts? The author resurrected or what?
၊ 17 replies ၊
၊ MichaelJaxon ၊ Stop asking 7 questions in one post, monkey.
၊ itsnotron ၊ mf? WUTTT *wilted rose emoji
၊ SKIBIDI101 ၊ KUKUKU SIGMA
၊ SquareXxX ၊ HAHAHAHAHA I DRAW THIGHS DON'T TOUCH ME
၊ Veiny :3 ၊ haven't tried, but does it have femboys? asking for a friend
၊ 7/11 ၊ B-Buildings? C-C-Crash!! Boom!!
၊ Dead ၊ Are you a hedgehog? Can I lick your feet?
Tap!
Seojin closed the forum as quickly as he opened it earlier.
As much as he wanted to scroll down and read ten more responses, he stopped himself.
If he were to continue, he wasn't sure which would be the reason for him losing his mind, whether it was the novel itself or its crazy fandom full of degenerate fudgers.
"Damn it…"
He stood up, finally ready to cook something to quench his starving stomach.
But just as he took his first step toward the door…
Ding!
His computer roared to life with a jarring notification sound. He turned his head, eyes squinting at the glowing screen where a single number hovered in the middle.
7
Ding!
77
Ding!
777
With each ding, the number multiplied; with each multiply, a liquid-like substance poured down from his nose.
Ding, ding, ding!
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN
Seojin's vision slowly darkened, and his consciousness began to swirl and the more intense the liquid poured out from his nose.
"...Blood?"
He looked down.
A puddle of frothy red drowned his feet below, staining not only the floor but the bed, computer, desk, and closet. It poured out even on the windows, until he couldn't see anything but red.
"What the fudge? Am I halluci… na… ting…?"
Thud!
His body collapsed on the floor, face-first.