Standing before the door to the room again, Natsukawa Kanade took a long, deep breath. He stared at the wood like it was the gate to the Demon King's castle, then slowly pushed it open.
Please let it be normal in there… Just once, let this be a peaceful, normal scene…
He stepped inside cautiously, still clinging to the faint hope that maybe, just maybe, Kasumigaoka-senpai had genuinely been calm because she trusted him. That perhaps she wasn't planning anything strange. That maybe this night wouldn't be a rollercoaster of psychological warfare.
Unfortunately, that hope was instantly destroyed.
Right as the door creaked open, what greeted him was the sight of Kasumigaoka Utaha, kneeling in the middle of the room, facing him with the grace of a shrine maiden.
And then she did it.
Thud!
She bowed deeply, her forehead nearly touching the tatami, her voice flowing like a stage performance: "This little girl is not talented… please give me your kind guidance…"
BAM.
Kanade slammed the door shut without hesitation.
Nope. Nope nope nope. Wrong route. Bad end. Reload save.
He took another breath outside the door, then pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe it was him—maybe he opened the door wrong. Maybe he messed up the event trigger.
Steeling himself, he pushed the door open once more.
Senpai was still kneeling—but this time, she had toned it down. No theatrical bow. Just sitting properly in seiza, her head tilted slightly to the side, her eyes curious and innocent.
Which made it even more terrifying.
Kanade: Why does it feel like I missed the opening act of a very weird play?
He could feel his brain cells withering. But after a moment of internal screaming, he realized that this might be his only chance to wrest back some control of the situation. He straightened his posture and spoke in his most serious tone:
"Senpai, before anything else happens tonight… I have something important I want to say."
It was better to get everything out in the open—he had thought this through thoroughly. At the very least, it would prove that he wasn't taking things lightly.
"Hm~? What is it, Onii-chan~?"
Kanade: Yup. The whole 'we're siblings' thing is definitely dead tonight.
Still, he had started this. He couldn't back down now.
So Kanade dropped to his knees as well, facing her directly, and took a deep breath.
"First of all… I, Natsukawa Kanade, am a healthy and mentally sound high school boy—"
"Hmm, not so sure about that~. After all, I haven't seen everything yet…"
"…"
WHAT exactly do you want to see, woman?!
He inhaled sharply, feeling the cold sweat on his back, but forced himself to stay composed.
"In any case," he continued stiffly, "I am a boy. And Senpai—you, Kasumigaoka Utaha—you are… Please forgive my lack of vocabulary, but in short, I think you are a very beautiful and… dangerously charismatic woman."
Whether it was her fearless attitude, her drive to pursue what she believed in, her almost intimidating intelligence, or the subtle way she always supported those around her—even Eriri, despite her cruel "tough love" methods—Kanade admired her.
All those traits, both her strengths and her flaws, were part of what made her so alluring.
And truthfully, it was because of those traits that he had once fallen for her.
Utaha said nothing at first, but Kanade could sense it—her aura was a little lighter now. Her eyes softer. Like a cloud of quiet satisfaction had settled over her shoulders.
So he pressed on while he had the momentum.
"Which is why… regarding the situation we're in—sharing a room, and more importantly, sharing a bed—I want to make my stance clear."
"Yes, yes, Nii-san~ Please go on. I'm listening very seriously~"
"…Firstly—while I have confidence in my self-control, I can't guarantee it will hold 100%," he said, his expression caught somewhere between guilt and desperation. "I won't make excuses, but I just want to be upfront."
Confidence didn't equate to certainty. And even if he intended to behave, Kanade knew he couldn't ignore the unpredictability of close proximity, tension, and—well, hormones.
But saying that out loud felt dangerously close to laying groundwork for a future excuse.
Like he was saying: "If something happens, I warned you in advance, so I'm not entirely to blame, right?"
It sounded exactly like something a scumbag would say.
Kanade could only hope that Senpai wouldn't interpret it that way.
"'Lay a hand on me'...?" Utaha echoed softly, lips curling into a sly smile. "I don't really get it, Nii-san~ Could you demonstrate? Or explain in a little more… detail?"
Kanade pretended she hadn't said that and powered through.
"Second—because this is an unusual situation, I hope Senpai will cooperate a little. Please don't tease me tonight. Let's save the games for later, okay?"
"Ehhh~? That's so mean, Nii-san. Are you saying I'm being cruel to you~?"
Kasumigaoka Utaha tilted her head again, voice dripping with mock innocence.
Kanade's eyes twitched. This woman…
"…Lastly," he said with a hesitant pause, "no matter what happens tonight, there's something I want to say seriously."
He looked her in the eyes.
"Senpai… if possible, please don't mess around with other guys the way you've messed with me. Most boys are dumb. Hopelessly dumb. When cute girls get close or act flirty, we misunderstand. We assume it means something more. We're just… easy to fool."
That included himself.
When he first fell for her, every casual tease, every smile, every word of praise—he thought they all meant something. He convinced himself there was a deeper affection hidden behind her every action.
And that illusion led him to confess.
Which ultimately led to… this.
Utaha didn't reply right away.
But her expression changed.
Her face, once teasing and unreadable, suddenly clouded. Her brows knit together. Her gaze dropped ever so slightly. Her lips parted, then pressed together again. And most noticeably—her knees began to tremble, just slightly.
Kanade recognized it immediately. That wasn't nerves.
That was irritation.
She's angry. Really angry.
And the more those legs shook, the worse her mood.
Kanade: Ah… I really stepped on a landmine this time.
He mentally facepalmed. He definitely shouldn't have said all that. Telling someone that their actions might mislead others was one thing, but to imply that their behavior was… universal? That it lacked sincerity?
Yeah. That wasn't "advising"—that was practically a slap in the face.
In his mind, he assumed she was just mad because he made it sound like she didn't consider others' feelings.
But in truth, the gloomy expression on Kasumigaoka Utaha's face had nothing to do with that.
No, the storm behind her eyes had one simple origin.
How dare this kouhai—her kouhai—think she was the type of woman who'd act this way with anyone?
Who did he think she was?!
She was Kasumigaoka Utaha! A proud, elegant, sharp-tongued literary maiden!
After sorting out her feelings for Aki Tomoya, and realizing what she felt for him was nothing more than readerly gratitude, she had already entrusted her true self—heart and all—to one person.
To Natsukawa Kanade.
Anyone else? Not even worth a passing "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."
"So…" Her voice was low, calm—but laced with that deadly undertone that made Kanade's back tense. "You're saying… I would act this way with just anyone?"
Kanade flinched.
She already had a pretty good idea what he meant, but she wanted to hear it again. Wanted to hear him say it out loud. Say those words directly to her face.
"…I… I'm not sure anymore," Kanade replied, hesitating. His gaze dropped to the tatami floor. "I've wondered about it before, actually. If maybe, to you, I was… someone special. That I was irreplaceable. But…"
His voice trailed off.
"…But later, I thought maybe I just happened to come first. That I couldn't be shaken off, and because I kept appearing before you, you started paying attention. Like… maybe you'd treat anyone the same way, if they were just as persistent."
After all, their "love story" hadn't ended in success. Even if their current situation was far from normal, there had still been rejection. Pain. Bitterness.
"But then I met new people," he continued, voice softer now. "Made more friends. And I realized that… not all affection is love. Sometimes, it's just built-up emotion with no place to go. Sometimes it's just closeness. Or being considered a really good friend. And I mistook all of that for something more."
He smiled bitterly.
"And that led me to make… a lot of wrong decisions."
In the end, it wasn't just about being misunderstood. It was about misunderstanding himself, and the people around him.
He had tried to recreate the feelings from his past—copy the "answers" he thought had worked before. But that version of himself, the one who played the role everyone liked… it wasn't real.
Even if he succeeded in love with that fake version, would it really make him happy?
No.
Because they wouldn't be falling in love with him—just the character he portrayed. A shell built for their convenience.
But that was the past. Now, he had made up his mind.
To be real.
To be honest.
To show his true self, not just to Utaha-senpai, but to his friends as well.
If they still accepted him after that… then and only then would he truly feel joy.
"…Sorry for dumping all that on you," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was a little heavy, huh? I should probably… go."
He tried to stand.
But before he could fully rise, he felt a hand press gently but firmly on his shoulder.
"Wait," came her voice—gentle, but firm.
When he looked up, he found Kasumigaoka Utaha closer than before, her hand still on his shoulder, her expression unreadable.
"No," she said. "I don't think it was nonsense at all."
Somehow, in the time he'd been talking, her expression had softened. The storm clouds had passed, replaced by a kind of stillness.
She had listened—really listened.
From the moment he said "I'm not sure," something had shifted inside her. She hadn't been upset by his doubt, nor had she taken offense. She'd simply waited, patient and quiet, for him to lay everything bare.
And as a literary girl, she could tell—he wasn't just venting. He was finally showing her a side of himself he hadn't dared to before. A part of him that had been kept hidden.
What caught her attention most wasn't just his emotions—it was the mention of "those friends."
Something in her narrowed.
She could smell it.
The scent of another cat, creeping around her territory.
But she didn't press. Not now.
She had heard everything, and now it was her turn to speak.
More importantly—her kouhai had misunderstood something deeply.
He still didn't realize it, did he?
That she didn't treat everyone this way.
That this version of Kasumigaoka Utaha—the one who teased, who showed vulnerability, who shared late nights and whispered thoughts—
—only existed for him.
She leaned in slightly, eyes locking with his, tone serious like never before.
"Actually…"
She took a breath.
"Kanade-kun…"
"…"
"I'm not so good-tempered with everyone."
Kanade: "…"
Wait… what?
Is she being serious right now?!
************************
I hope this one didn't disrupt the flow.
I also want to say that the reason I like this fanfic above all others of the same type is that the MC is forced to confront himself and change, or rather, be himself. In most fanfics, you only have to act in a certain way and you get the girl/s all the time. In this book though, the author has brought the characters closer to life than in any other fanfic that I've come across. All the heroines rejected the MC for faking his act around them but now like him after he's faced himself and embraces his own persona. Therefore, beyond the harem ending/ or not, I'm happy with this story just for the MC's development.
Most authors fail to capture the characters and fit them as people with their own will. They assume that you can get any character if you act in a certain way forgetting that the MC is a variable and nothing is ever truly constant especially the hearts of people.
For example, if I reincarnate in Marvel and restore Natasha's womb, does it mean that she'll automatically fall for me?
If I go to DC, Gotham to be specific, save Selena Kyle and her sister while they're still young, will she automatically fall for me even if I woo her? Not forgetting that grooming is morally disturbing.
Anyway, that's it for now, see you tomorrow for the other book's updates and Wednesday for this one. I pledge a total of 20 chapters for this book alone this week.
And thank you for the comments and likes, it really helps me know that you're getting value for your money.