A sharp, incessant alarm blared, jolting Natsukawa Kanade out of his deep slumber. He groggily blinked at the ceiling, his mind clouded in the strange haze of a dream that was slipping away faster than he could grasp it. He had been with someone... doing something... but who? And what? The moment he tried to recall, it vanished like mist in the morning sun.
Not that it mattered. A dream was just a dream, an ephemeral fantasy born from the subconscious. What was important was the present—the tangled mess of reality that he still hadn't figured out how to navigate.
He had spent the entire night in turmoil, thoughts racing, doubts gnawing at him. So much so that he hadn't slept a wink until the break of dawn. By the time his bleary-eyed friend, Hikigaya, noticed his sorry state, Kanade had resigned himself to missing the morning classes and had asked his friend to cover for him. Thus, this much-needed, albeit short, reprieve.
Yet, now that he was awake, his mind snapped back to its usual overdrive, spiraling into the very thoughts he had tried to escape. He still didn't know what to do. He was trapped in the middle of a storm with no clear path forward. Should he seek advice? Maybe talking it out would bring some clarity. After all, even the greatest warriors needed a strategist.
But that posed another problem. He couldn't just confide in anyone. The matter was too delicate. Only someone who truly understood him, someone who could keep a secret and offer sound judgment, could be trusted with this.
After filtering through the possibilities, two names surfaced—Hikigaya Hachiman and Yuigahama Yui.
Hikigaya, for all his cynicism and deadpan delivery, was a man of principle. But that was exactly the problem—his unwavering beliefs. Hikigaya pursued the truth with an almost fanatical dedication, while Kanade's current dilemma was drenched in ambiguity. A conversation with him might turn into a confrontation, and worse, if it went south, their already delicate friendship could shatter. That was a risk Kanade wasn't willing to take.
That left Yui.
If anyone could understand him, it would be her... right?
Wait. Why?
A strange emptiness settled in his chest. Why was he so sure that Yui of all people would get it?
She was a girl, after all. And girls, by default, despised indecisive guys. They scorned men who wavered, who couldn't commit, who strayed between choices. If he laid bare his thoughts, she'd probably lecture him, call him an indecisive idiot, and cut ties with him right then and there.
Which, honestly, would be a fair reaction.
If his problem was just about understanding why a girl rejected him, then maybe Yui could provide insight. She was sharp, observant—she had pulled him back from the brink of self-destruction before. But this went beyond that.
This was about his own shortcomings, his inability to let go. He had changed. Before, he could single-mindedly chase after one person, dismissing all others. But now? Now, he found himself unable to abandon anyone. The thought of walking away left a bitter taste in his mouth. He simply couldn't do it.
Unless...
Unless they were the ones to leave first.
That was the only way. If they fell in love with someone else, if they chose to walk a path without him—only then could he step aside. If that happened, he would quietly fade into the background, no complaints, no interference.
Yes. That was it.
Until then, all he had to do was maintain the status quo. Keep his distance, but not too much. Stay close, but not too close. Remain a constant in their lives until they found someone better.
Satisfied with his resolve, Kanade exhaled deeply and closed his eyes again, allowing the clarity of his decision to settle in. But then—
His eyes shot open.
The moment of peace shattered, replaced by unwavering determination.
His energy, at least physically, had returned. After catching up on sleep, he felt sharp again, ready to face the rest of the day. Stretching, he got out of bed and reached for his uniform.
Just as he pulled off his pajamas, a crisp knock echoed from the door.
"Come in," he said absentmindedly, too preoccupied with his thoughts to care who it was.
He had bigger concerns—how should he act moving forward? Stick to his usual self? Or shift to a more neutral "friend mode" to avoid unnecessary complications?
But while he might not have been paying attention to others—
That didn't mean others weren't paying attention to him.
The moment the door creaked open, the person who stepped inside froze, eyes widening in shock at the sight before them.
"E-Eh?!"
A startled squeal rang out as Shina Mahiru instantly covered her face with both hands, her fingers slightly spread apart as she peeked through them, her face rapidly turning red.
Her mind blanked. She had come here with only the purest of intentions—worried after Kanade skipped the entire morning of classes, she had decided to check on him during lunch. She had even stopped by the cafeteria to grab a nutritious meal for him, thinking he might need it. She hadn't told anyone about her visit, except for giving a quick word to the duty teacher at the dormitory's entrance.
Throughout the morning, she'd overheard bits and pieces of gossip in the hallways—words like "President," "amazing," and "test of courage" being repeated with growing excitement. She had no idea what had happened the previous night, but given Kanade's reputation, she assumed he must have gotten himself wrapped up in something exhausting again.
But she had not expected... this.
As soon as she stepped inside, she had been met with an extremely vivid, overwhelming sight—Natsukawa Kanade standing in the middle of his room, shirtless, clad in nothing but a pair of underwear.
Shina's brain short-circuited.
"Wh-Wh-Why are you... only wearing your underwear?!"
"...?"
Kanade blinked in confusion.
A female voice? Here? In the boys' dormitory?
His instincts flared as his head turned toward the source of the voice, only to lock eyes with Shina, who was still peeking through the cracks between her fingers, her entire posture radiating nervousness.
"..."
"..."
For a long moment, neither of them spoke, the silence stretching between them.
Should he say good afternoon first? Kanade idly wondered.