Reality cracked into flashes of light, impossible colors filled my vision I felt I could taste them, if that even made sense. An indescribably impossible, melodious chant filled my ears; I could see the sound taking shape, shadows of something unreal trying to become real. The flavors I could feel on my skin as if it were the touch of an ancient lover. I felt free as my form dissolved into light and crystals, only to reappear from the reflection of the sound.
Surrealism wouldn't let me think of anything but the now or is it tomorrow? Or, did that already happen? Time ceased to make sense. I saw myself being surprised by such a place, while another me greeted me as a color was being held in his hands as if it were a cat.
Then I took the color while greeting a guy who was just as surprised as I was. Poor guy, he looks so clueless. As I continued on my way, the sea of colors guided me through four colors that eclipsed everything: a blood red with flecks of copper, a dark green with brown patches, a violet with milky lines, and a blue with tiny crystals.
I greeted the colors as I took a bit of them. The red tasted like blood mixed with Monster wow, didn't see that coming, note the sarcasm. The green tasted horrible, and I threw up because of it, but it had that taste of nostalgia. The violet tasted, God, it tasted like a cheap whore mixed with cocaine. The blue I don't know what it tasted like, but the crystals made funny sounds as they popped in my mouth.
As I grabbed another color and let the previous one go, I felt something pulling me. It was a little red thing tangled up in pure rage, its body made no sense at all. But hey, who was I to judge? The little thing, which we'll call Bob, got even angrier.
"Hey, stop pulling me," I said, or looked, I don't know what I did, but the little thing stopped immediately as its body writhed, exploding into colors that ended up at the beginning and end of everything. How annoying, people these days don't seem to have any manners.
I applauded as the currents of sound carried me elsewhere. This time, the thing that caught my attention was a small green lump; it was rotten, but unlike the previous one, this one just wanted a hug. I gave it one, and the little thing tried to vomit on me. I took some blue from around me as a sound of water accompanied me, but the small thing exploded just like the previous one.
I continued my journey, this time taking a little red color to savor, while a violet, horned girl greeted me. The girl spoke clear and loud, but no words came out, just a melody full of melancholy. That I couldn't be here in this place. I stopped completely, and the colors stopped taking shape. Reality became something tangible as I passed my hand over her head. I would tell her not to worry about me, but just like her, my voice was nothing more than colored light which was answered by more melodies.
In the end, I gave her a calmer color in the shape of a lollipop as I continued through the currents. Up and down stopped making sense long ago as a blue bird with crystal eyes landed on my hand. The little bird sang a riddle about some kind of golden armor. The clear answer was to add more realism to the wolf skins if an animal rights activist complained oh right, the answer was 42, but he said 40. He doesn't even know his own riddle, I told him as I flung him into the glass current.
As I kept going, a little voice in my head told me this wasn't a dream after all, I didn't remember ever going to sleep. Nah, who listens to the voices in their head? That's crazy, right? I entered the steel door that appeared in the current like a drain, and I just told the guy with the twenty-sided-dice face as he poured me something sparkling.
But looking at my reflection in the cup, did I begin to remember? Is that the word I'm looking for? A frivolous, boring, yet utterly satisfying life flashed before my eyes while the guy with the dice head wore a robe that, for some reason, had the letters RNG across the chest.
Gazing at the algae in my no-longer-so-appetizing cup, I didn't wait for the guy to speak.
"So, how screwed am I, on a scale of -143 to 636?" I set the cup on the table as I took a cookie made of brains.
"I'd say the answer is a cup of coffee," the thing said, also setting his cup on the elven skin upholstery.
"That's too high a number," I spoke, moving the pieces on the board.
"Of course it is, but you know what they say. Nothing beats rolling a Natural 20," he sang, tossing the dice, and I moved my paladin as the dice yielded a 0.67 and a yellow dog.
"Not bad, but I disagree with that; Pi is higher in the new edition," I said, flipping the table, resulting in a 3.12 and a gum girl.
"Ha, almost," I said, looking at the result; at least the gum woman has good stats. My hope was dashed because he rolled a Natural 42 along with a one-armed human boy. Clearly, 42 was a bad number, and only the pull of the disabled child gave him the advantage.
"Looks like I won the match," the guy laughed.
I pulled out the gum girl. Super effective against blonde disabled children.
"You were saying?" I asked him, looking at my nails, waiting for the game master to declare me the winner. Clearly, the table declared me the winner.
"Excellent. So, now that the Great Game is over, can we continue?" spoke the one I could now clearly recognize as RNGesus.
"Aaah, crap," was all I could say as my mind rearranged itself back into something truly conscious. And I could say I was screwed on so many levels and in such strange ways that I could only laugh sincerely, accepting reality in all the levels where such absurdity had a place.
"Hey, no despair, fragment from outside the source. There's always a chance to roll the dice again in this game," said the patron god of chance, and I understood what he was saying, even if it made no sense in the previous conversation or any real sense at all.
"Seeing my luck right now, I don't think anything good will come out, but meh, there's nothing else I can do but roll the dice," I said, taking the infinite-sided die in my hands. A single roll would decide if it was worth living or committing suicide on this plane, outside the logic handled by mortals.
Time passed as if it were stopped. The fall of the die seemed like it would never come until it did. With a bang, the impossibility became real, but what came out wasn't a number—rather, a strange symbol, far too strange.
Triangles stacked upon triangles, recalling the Pythagorean Tetractys, infinities upon infinities that seemed to encompass everything while giving shape to everything, provided you were willing to make sense of the nonsense of the infinite.
RNGesus, who had been silent during such an important moment, smiled, and don't ask me what the smile of a twenty-sided die wearing a Jesus-like robe looks like.
"Chance has been set in motion, decisions have been made, and only destiny corresponds to those who have rolled the dice," he spoke macabrely as my vision faded between the now, the tomorrow, and the yesterday.
...
The sweet peace of the dream world was short-lived as my mind felt like it was about to explode from the overload of something immaterial encompassing my new essence.
Darkness filled my sight. I tasted the threads of blood running down my mouth. The acrid smell of the sewer futilely filled my nostrils in an attempt to wash away the taste of blood. The stagnant water lay moving for the first time in a long while with the breathing of my body. Only the sound of my heart thundered in the silence like a mundane echo, an imitation of something that should not be conceived.
True consciousness blossomed in me with my awakening. I could feel my thoughts leaving the immaterial mold to make sense of their existence again. My mind returned to where and how it should be; my thoughts returned to strike alongside reason.
With difficulty, I looked at my reflection in the stagnant water. A completely mundane and yet "perfect" face looked back at me with indifference.