Chapter 55: A Brilliant Idea
"Oh, Spectacle of Heart? A romantic comedy about two young people slowly building a love bond together while taking care of a Lovedisk, a classic…I think. Anyways, everyone who is interested in watching this romance movie says, SPECTACLE!"
""Spectacle!"" Some people shouted, yet it was even near the majority of the audience who screamed it, which made Iono shake her head.
"Hmm, still not the majority, sorry Valerie, but the public chose not to take your proposition. But do not despair, for one day people might finally develop taste!"
If she was disappointed by the result, she didn't show it, as she simply closed her eyes and smiled before sitting down.
Looking over to the next candidate, Poppy, Iono pointed in her direction with a smile. "So, what about you, Poppy? What do you wish to see among the infinite content we have at our disposal with the greatest invention of all time, and the greatest wallet of our time!"
"Little Ponita." She responded with no hesitation and even a slight giddiness.
"Little Ponita…but that isn't a…wait, no, they did make a movie, right? Let me check it up."
I watched as Iono scrolled down the screen with her power to look out for the proposition of Poppy.
That's what she mostly did the moment she came in. She was able to attract the attention of everybody in the room easily. All of their concern about me creating a group completely disappeared because of her, as she was extremely good at making others look and think of her.
This not only gave me more time to consider what I should do, but it also made everyone else happy, something I would never be able to do by myself.
If before they only seemed to be here because they felt that they had absolutely nothing better to do, now they actually seemed to enjoy themselves and were looking forward to actually watching the movie.
But as I was lost in my thoughts, Mina nudged my shoulder and murmured toward me. "Hey…are you okay? Well, no…of course you aren't…but beyond what you usually experience…are you fine with how others want to use you?"
"…why would I feel anything? This is not my right."
"…well, for starters, you have no relationship with them, in fact, you barely know their name because you actually bothered to listen to Iono…so you don't really have any obligation to fulfill."
"Oh, I didn't know we needed a special authority to ask me something…maybe it's because my statue is so low that no one even considers it before asking me a favour?"
Yes, that would make sense; they all think that because I'm a mighty archon, I'm also mighty. I should break this delusion so they can feel more at ease while giving me orders.
I try to stand up, but Mina dragged me down to the sofa. "I feel like you were going to do something stupid…so don't do that."
"Oh…I will comply with the order."
Mina made a strange expression of disgust filled with concern, but she hid it with her hand. "Whatever, yes, it's an order, if you feel like doing something stupid…consult anyone else first…or just don't do it at all."
"Oh…is creating a group a stupid idea then?" I asked, as this was an idea even I found stupid, but if I now needed to give out my opinion, then my willingness had no weight.
Mina hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. "I would say…that it isn't that bad of an idea…look around you…they are happy right now…and what you want is to find happiness, so this could be the best way to do it…what do you think?" I was able to tell that she wasn't completely honest with me right now, but I couldn't disagree that she was indeed right.
Currently, they were happy because Iono entertained them, but also because they didn't have to worry about all the stress they had experienced earlier in the day.
…so I'm an essential part to their current happiness…and if I experience my emotion correctly, everyone should want to stay in this state of happiness. So as long as their turmoil around us…then they will remain with me…and they might even be willing to stay friends with me.
…but for that, the condition must stay the same…no, it should get even worse!
"You're right, Mina, this is a great idea. Everyone shall be happy because I am here!"
"…that's great…I think it's good that you're starting to value yourself more."
Right, I also need to make sure that people see my new value. If things stay the same, or even worse, they start to relax, then they won't see any reason to stay with me. They clearly showed that the only reason they cared about me was that they were willing.
So I must create an even worse situation, a situation where they would guarantee their friendship with me every day just so I can keep them safe!
… Wait, should I share this idea with Mina? No, she says to only report my stupid idea, and this one is the smartest thing I've ever considered!
"Well…you seem to have arrived at an answer…I'm still curious, what is it?"
"Oh, I will agree to put them into my group, but if they wish to leave, they will be free to do so. Also…euh…maybe do…activity…like friends are supposed to do…do you know what other activity friends do?"
Mina smiled warily before nodding. "Yeah…I do have a decent understanding of them…and I wouldn't mind showing it to you…it might ease my guilt of using you anyway."
She murmured her last word, probably in an attempt for me not to hear them, but it didn't work.
But I didn't notify her of that, it was a stupid idea, and I didn't need her confirmation to assume it as such.
Now, how should I make everything worse for everybody else?
"Alright, anyone who is in favour of watching My Little Ponita: The Movie : The ending of the evil evildoers who are evil…I wonder if the enemy is evil…whatever, say…Ponita!"
"Ponita!" Poppy raised her hand happily, so I didn't hesitate to do the same. I already agreed to every other movie, because it wasn't like I had any idea what they could even be.
"Ponita!"
***
In the end, it was Clair's choice that got accepted by the vast majority, with her selection of the movie, The Travel of a Dragon, which apparently was considered as one of the best movies of our times, that represented a young girl who healed a dragon-type pokemon, and since then became best friends forever. Fighting the enemy together, until they had to fight the entirety of a dragon clan all alone to restore peace in the world…and I'm pretty sure this clan was referencing the one of Lance with the way Cynthia grinned when they were defeated.
Personally, I didn't fully understand what anything about this picture showed was supposed to be fun, but the other seemed to enjoy it, so it probably means I was wrong.
However, it took time making that decision, so much time that it was already in the middle of the night. And with how hard today was, no one was able to resist the call of Cresselia and fell into sleep.
They couldn't even muster the strength to go back to their room and simply slept on our sofa or the ground.
As for me…well, I'm not able to feel tired even if I am, so I didn't felt the same urge as them…especially that I spend most of my…not living life sleeping to avoid the pain, so now that staying awake doesn't cause me suffering, then I want to enjoy it for the longest I possibly can.
That's why I stood up and looked around for a blanket to cover them in their sleep.
The temperature of the room was excellent even without one, but I knew it wasn't as comfortable to wake up without one…or that was what Mina clearly insisted on, and as she was the laziest person I knew, that meant she must be right.
After throwing a blanket for each of them, I took the sleeping Allister on my back and almost stumbled from the weight, but I still managed to stay up. Then, I attempted to walk away from our dorm.
"What are you doing?" A voice I wasn't as familiar with compared to the other, yet one I vividly remembered, spread across the room.
Pandora looked behind me to observe Sabrina, who was looking at me with her usual uncaring eyes. Yet the fact that she even spoke to me directly this time means that she actually cared about what was currently happening.
"I'm going to my check-up with teacher Colress, who was already kind enough to accept me pushing away the time of the meeting, so I don't want to arrive late."
Sabrina didn't show any strong reaction and opted to simply gaze at Allister, who still rested on my back. "Why carry him? Is he a sacrifice?"
I shook my head lightly, so as not to wake up Allister before answering her. "No, Allister was simply angry last time that I left him alone while sleeping, so this time I will make sure to bring him with me."
She didn't even nod to confirm that she understood and simply looked away from me before faking being asleep.
Usually, I would have probably left it at that; however, it was extremely rare that she agreed to speak at all, and even more to me, so I wanted to use this opportunity to become even more friendly with her.
She can know every secret of those around her after all, so if she agrees to lend me this knowledge, then I will have an easier time getting closer to them and make even more happy memories!
"Why did you speak to me? No…first, do you hate me? Is that why you don't speak to me usually?"
Sabrina's brow furrowed as she reopened her eye to look at me with annoyance, probably angry that I even disturbed her false slumber. "I don't hate you; I simply find you extremely uncomfortable to be around. All my life, I had to make sure to always remain the strongest in any room I found myself in if I wanted to survive, in terms of power and knowledge. Now, of course, I sometimes felt the feeling of being weaker than someone else…same as the feeling of losing to someone weaker than yourself…however, you force a feeling I despise into me…the feeling of being completely incapable of defending myself against you!"
I tilted my head in confusion, which she probably interpreted as me not understanding what she meant as she followed on that topic. "Like pokemon, the Esper power of every archon is stronger or weaker depending on the type that they are facing. For example, you, the Gloom Archon, representative of the dark type, are completely immune to my power, from me, the Spiritual Archon, who represents the psychic type. So my power has absolutely no effect on you, as your own will immediately nullifies its ability. No matter what the effects are, from simply communicating with you through your mind, or squeezing you like a lemon, nothing will work. This is the exact reason why I don't talk to you usually, because I simply can't."
I listened to her words with confusion; even more, this wasn't even what I was wondering. But at least it's pleasant to know that the only reason she doesn't talk to me is that she realizes how weak and powerless she really is. However, what truly stumbled me was something else. "…you're much more open than I thought. I was assuming that even if you talked to me, it would have been with short sentences, yet you were explaining everything to me without any problem! You even said a very personal thing, so I seriously misjudged you."
Sabrina's eyes widened as she covered her mouth in shock, before frowning toward me. "This is why I don't speak with my mouth, at least when I'm talking telepathically, I can actually think carefully of what the other will hear…but when I'm speaking like this, I don't have any time to consider my words!"
"…oh, is that how it normally goes? Usually, it's my mind that goes everywhere, but my words sound in a whole different way…is it just me being weird again?"
Sabrina calmed down while looking at me with a more serious attitude. "Speaking of that, what really goes inside your head?"
I tilted my head to the randomness of the question, but I still answered it honestly. "Hmm? Mostly pain…and joy!"
"…I do not care how you feel, I want to know what your true intentions are." Sabrina said coldly.
But it didn't affect me, so I ignored it. "Can you please be more specific? Of course, I can still answer your question if you want, but I fear I will have to waste your saliva once more if you are awaiting a specific answer."
Sabrina frowned, but she still decided to specify her request. "I'm asking what your true intention is behind creating a group. And don't you dare answer me that it's because you actually care about their feeling, I read the thoughts of some of the old residents here, I know what you truly are!"
I stumbled back in fear as I realized that Sabrina held the information about my true identity. Apparently, everyone already feared me just for my casual action. If they knew that I was the Bringer of Eclipse before, then they would definitely recreate the exact same scenario as in the Sanctuary…no, it would be even worse as some people can actually beat me.
The picture of Volo briefly crossed my mind, but suddenly, I felt Pandora jumping away from my head to jump in front of her.
"Kyu? Mikyu? Kykyu kuy! (Because you think they did? You think they even had the possibility to think for themselves? They couldn't even realize that Luciel is the best representative that humanity could ever have!)" Pandora said in a mocking tone.
Sabrina gazed at Pandora with a troubled look. "…I don't dare to go into your mind…so I ignore what you're saying."
"Myiu, mikuy iuk ky. (Eh, I know you have good survival instincts.)"
Before he could say anything else, I grabbed him back and put him on my head. "Well, that's really rude, Pandora, you can't just assume that these people were lying, especially when they're not." I pet him slightly to calm him down before walking toward Sabrina.
She frowned as she saw me approach, and even tried to back down in her seat to avoid me as much as she could, but it was futile as I was already in front of her by that point. Sweat was starting to drop down on her brow as I moved my face right in front of her and put my two hands right beside her while Pandora held Allister for me.
This was the better way to show my sincerity after all, as nothing beats making the person aware that I'm only gazing at them after all. And I needed to gain all the points I could right now if I wanted her to hold her tongue.
"Say, would you mind not saying a thing about what I was before…Well, I suppose I'm still the same, so just hold off from saying anything about what others thought of me." I wore a sad expression as I continued, just to show how sincere I was. "Otherwise, then I wouldn't have any other choice but to steal your voice…oh, but I suppose you could still talk about it to others with your mind, so I suppose if it comes to it…Then I might have to make you lose your mind."
Sabrina's expression grew into one of fear as her pupils shrank when she looked at my face. Even if physics already told her it was impossible, she still tried to go even deeper into the seat she was in.
Of course, it was a reasonable reaction; no one likes to lose their mind. It truly is a terrifying prospect. So, as she is my friend, it is my duty to help her lose her fear. "But do not fret, for even if you lose your mind, you will be able to find so many others! After all, what can be broken can always be replaced…oh, that almost reminds me of the concept I heard from nurse Joy, that we archons will always be replaced the moment we die, so I suppose that means that we are the proof of this ideology! Aren't you glad? We're useful!" I showed her my most sincere smile in the end, just to show that I truly wanted her to be filled with joy.
…I don't need to tell anyone that her reaction was anything but joy.
…it's the smile, isn't it? It's always my smile…why do I constantly bring it up if I just know that it will fail?
I just ruined my chance to make a good first impression on her because of it.
"I…I understand…I…I won't…do anything…so…please…just…let me live…I…I can be as discreet as you wish…not a single breath will be…"
"Ah, there's no need for such constraint…except if you want me to adopt those…But I prefer that you enjoy your time here."
She instinctively nodded, before gulping down the loathing of saliva that stayed stuck inside of her throat as her gaze posed on every inch of my body, as if she was looking toward any angle I could attack her…it was a gaze I recognized very well, so I knew that the best way to make her calm down was by another joyful comment.
"Don't worry, I know you prefer to remain unnoticed by others, so I will respect that wish." I also knew that sentiment, even if I couldn't possibly understand it currently, there was way too much to enjoy out loud than staying in your corner would stop you from experiencing. But if I had to guess, it's because she made something she shouldn't…or other people think she shouldn't have.
Sabrina didn't even dare to raise her eyes toward me and kept them completely lowered, as if she was scared that I would take them for myself.
I backed away from her and held Allister once more. "Well, now that you so gently agree to keep my secret, I will gladly answer your earlier question."
Sabrina looked back at me in shock and wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do, but it was meaningless, as I still remembered her question, so her input had little meaning. "The reason why I agree to create this group is because I found out that this was the best way to make everyone friends with me."
"…how so?"
"Well…you should probably know it more than anybody, but people seem afraid of me, so for them to stay around me, they must all have a good reason. Cynthia stays with me because she wants my knowledge, Allister because he desires my protection. Iono because I am the only one she can use to fulfill her passion, Clair is because I force the gaze of Lance onto me, so it directly goes toward her, and for Mina is because…well, I'm not really sure about her, she did say she liked to talk with me…but there's no way she would force herself to be with me for so little." I shrugged my shoulders, as it didn't really matter what the answer was, as long as I knew there was one, it was just a matter of time to find it.
"…you…you think you are unloved?"
"Well of course I am, why would I be after all? There's nothing to like about me, only what I can offer."
Sabrina seemed to want to say something else, but I interrupted her before she could. "Sorry, but I need to go soon, so please keep only the questions you actually think are worth your time."
She closed her mouth and was lost in thought for a short moment before gazing back at me with a serious eye. "I only have two…first, can you guarantee me that you won't try to use my power or ability to gain more influence or any other selfish gain? I do not care about what you will do to others…I just…I'm just tired…"
"Oh…well, my own existence is selfish by nature, so if I make any request to you, it will be selfish. However, I can promise that I won't give you any request, you can stay here with me, you can ask for me to protect you, you can even ask me to erase your very existence to everyone brain if you want, but I promise that no matter how much you ask, I won't ask for anything in return, what do you say?"
"…next question, what do you gain from this? I know everyone is selfish, and you don't shy away from it, so that means that you, of all people, should know that no one would be ready to work by themselves just to assure the happiness of others if they had nothing to gain from it."
"Joy." I answered without any difficulty, because this was the only answer for what I was currently doing. "I want to feel happy, and it seems that having people find me valuable fills me with joy. So I want to confine everyone who procures that feeling to me very, very, very close to me, to the point where they won't be able to escape. And every day, every day, they will love me! They will cherish me! As if I'm their most precious memory. That's why…that's why I need to make sure it stays that way! So if all they want is my protection, then so be it…But I just need to make sure that they need it."
"…another question…will…will they be fine?"
"Oh? Well, that's strange, you say you only had two more questions, and yet here's another…how weird. Especially that now you seem to actually care about them, even when you said you didn't. That's troubling me…so it's the same to say that it doesn't matter. But anyway, of course, they will be fine! I will protect them after all."
"…let me ask again…do you believe that if you weren't there, they would have been even safer?"
My smile dropped as I simply stared at her, standing straight and without a single expression on my face, before I opened my mouth to speak without any accent. "Everyone would be happier if I weren't there, that's why I'm selfish, as, despite knowing that, I persist in remaining alive. That's why I'm the most sinful person to walk down this planet, because I'm worth less than nothing, and yet I try to drag down those who amount to everything down to my level just so I can feel their warmth."
"…I see…" Sabrina closed her eyes right after to signal that the conversation was finished.
I was not sure if she truly understood what I meant. After all, other people are simply smarter than I am, so maybe what I'm saying is so stupid that they must interpret it another way.
…or maybe no one can truly understand how selfish I am. The fear of heights exists for a reason after all.
But right as I was about to walk away, I remembered something important.
"Oh, right, by the way, could you keep this a secret, please? I know it's a selfish request, but I would really like to make you choose to keep your silence by your own choice, because there's only one reliable way to do it."
Sabrina didn't answer, but the way her body trembled momentarily was enough to give me the answer that she had heard me.
Don't understand why she's trembling, however…maybe she's cold? Should I go fetch more cover for her? No, I will be late if I delay it even more, and she can get one for herself with her power if she really wants something to protect against the cold.