MOXXIE WILL FINALLY BE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THE NEW HB SHORT, LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Third Person POV)
"I'm sure I at least nicked a ventricle!"
James quickly turned around, already feeling the pain blossoming in his chest before any words were said. When he fully turned around, he saw Vox and Alastor standing side by side, both of their smiles threatening to split their faces open.
Vox had gotten a makeover, his once blue suit now becoming more extravagant with blue roses and pins that were inserted near his collarbone, along with a long neon blue halberd with the inscription of VOX on it.
Alastor had also gotten the same beauty treatment Vox did, his previously scarred skin and suit having healed and turned back into their regular states while his hair had turned from a black and red mix into a fully cowl of bright crimson hair along with his deer features being permanently stuck out, his antlers being ever so noticeable along with his hooves he had instead of wearing shoes.
"Alright, I guess we got retard number uno dos and tres here, you mad about me beating your sorry asses or something?" James quipped, feeling up his chest to test the wound.
'...Wait a minute, this isn't even that deep.' He tried to stick his finger in there to gauge the depth, but could only feel weirdly springy flesh that was colored a dark green. 'The mold already healed it? God, these guys are fucking goons.'
"I'm sorry to say, but you just wasted your whole sneak attack shit for nothing, both of you are straight ASS." James said, taking a step forward which caused Alastor and Vox to take one back. "Tiger Funeral, get off the rapist and take Angel Dust back."
He looked over at Angel Dust and gave a quick grin. "Don't worry about me, I'll be back in 5. Tell Nifty she can have some of my food, but if anyone else tries to touch it, I'll eviscerate them." He didn't give any time for Angel Dust to speak, Tiger Funeral taking off in the blink of an eye.
CRACK
He cracked his neck in anticipation. "So, I guess I'm gonna be fighting the lowest scorers in the special education class, huh?"
Alastor almost spoke, but Vox quickly put a hand on his chest, gesturing for him to calm down. After following Vox's command, both of them nodded at the Valentino who recently got up who also nodded back.
"Oh, you got a plan? That's rich, go ahead and show me. I always wanted to see how cavemen came up with fire."
Valentino bore his teeth in a snarl. "I'm not taking this shit from somebody who fucks midgets of all things!"
James, instead of getting mad, simply quirked up an eyebrow. "Them be fighting words coming out of a rapist's mouth, y'know?
"I may gain my employees through unsavory methods–"
"Forcing or coercing them which is a form of rape."
"But even I would never fuck a midget, you might as well be fucking your hopes and dreams."
"You're real talkative for someone who's about to die in a few minutes. Just wrap the yap already, I got breakfast with a lovely woman who I didn't even need to roofie to like me." James quipped, tapping an invisible watch.
Valentino didn't reply, but simply snarled again, putting his hands out and concentrating on doing something.
…
…
…
"...What– what are you doing? Are you taking a shit, are you constipated, what is this?" James asked with a disinterested expression, crossing both sets of his arms. 'Are you trying to cast fucking firebolt on me or something?"
…
"Observation? Y'know, it'd be a fucking treat if someone like you actually got The Gamer, it'd be the funniest shit in the world. DING! Go RoOfIe ThIs WoMAN, DING! SeXuAllY AssAulT YoUr EmplOyeEs."
…
"...Okay, getting bored now, just gonna kill you." James said, beginning to slowly walk over to them.
"Valentino, what the fuck, what're you doing!?" Vox whisper yelled in Valentino's ear who was staring at James with a shocked expression. "I-I'm trying to use my illusions, but they're not working on him for some reason!"
"Illusions, that's what you were trying to do? That's fucking rich." He stopped in the middle of his stride and let out a bark of laughter, even holding his face before calming down and pointing at his eyes.
"Since you're about to become skid marks on the pavement, I might as well tell you a little something. No illusions or sight bullshit you're trying to do are getting past these babies. Was this your big plan?"
He asked, walking ever closer. "Was your plan to trap me in some low budget genjutsu and kill me while I was under the influence? God, you're pathetic! Seriously, I want you to live your last moments knowing that you're main strategy would've been–"
He suddenly disappeared from their view, popping right in front of Valentino with a hand stretched out to his stomach.
"Fucking pointless."
SHINKSHINKSHINKSHINKSHINKSHINK
Hundreds of dismantles were unleashed upon Valentino's stomach, launching him back into the wall of the warehouse. Without looking, James elbowed Alastor in his head and touched Vox's thigh, using a cleave to cut it clean off.
In a surprising amount of time, Alastor recovered, sending out a shadowy black hound at James' head. He quickly dodged, kicking the dog to the side with a look of interest at Alastor
"I see you finally decided to branch out from the hentai tentacles, huh? Well if you want a shadow, I got a shadow." He clasps his hands together, forming a bird hand sign. "Nue."
A large brown bird comes from his shadow, much smaller than normal, perching on James' shoulder. 'Binding vow: Nue cannot attack anyone else but Alastor, in exchange his lightning is much brighter and dissipates shadows' He felt a chain tighten around his heart, signifying the binding vows completion
"Hey, Nue, go have fun with Alastor for a little bit while I handle the other two goons… Don't kill him though." Nue let out a loud squawk and dived at Alastor, charging him through the wall and outside the building, electricity crackling off of him all the while.
"Shit….Shit!" Valentino muttered, standing up with a tattered suit and cuts on his chest healing at a rate noticeably visible. He looked down and saw Vox struggling, quickly running over to him, putting his head in his lap while fishing in his pocket.
James made no move to stop them, only slowly walking forward, his footsteps seemed to echo to Valentino who desperately reached into his pocket and pulled out a cross, quickly reaching it up and slamming it down in Vox's eye.
SQUELCH
"Damn, he really wanted the coward's way out, huh? Don't worry, I'll kill you–" James stopped taunting them, feeling some kind of presence roll over him. He quickly used his six eyes to look at both of their souls, trusting his gut feeling.
Valentino's soul looked mangled, hundreds upon hundreds of chains connecting to it while black sludge flowed throughout the links.
Meanwhile, Vox's soul was burning, golden light bathing it until he finally sat up, one eye missing but a smile etched on his tv face and the logo HeavenTV on the bottom left of his screen.
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A thrilling twist, a demon with the angel's power sealed into his eye? Tune in on Sunday to see just what exactly James does next