Season: Autumn
Weather: Not sure. Slept most of the day
Day of the week: Wednesday
Date: 20th March, 2024
I'm not sure why sitting outside all day yesterday would make me feel so tired, but it did. I've slept all last night and most of today. The dark shadow lord returned early and picked me up for dinner. In fact, he was the one who pulled me out of bed, washed and dressed me and even brushed my teeth for me.
We didn't go out to eat as such, but he sat me by his side in a little meeting room with a nice view of the sunset. He held me by his side so that I could lean into him while I ate slowly and lethargically.
After dinner, he sat me by his side on the couch in his room to watch TV, holding me and shooting darting looks of concern at me every now and then.
"Jane, my little white rabbit," he said after the television programs we had been watching finished, turning my face to him with both hands on my cheeks, "I'm going to kiss you. This kiss isn't to lie to you. It's not an apology. It's not to cover anything up. This kiss I'm going to give you is because I find you cute and want to express how happy I am that you are here by my side. This is a kiss telling you that I like you. Understand?"
I nodded, feeling amused, bemused and confused that he was being so direct and straightforward.
He kissed me gently at first. A slow, lingering kiss. It was alright. Nothing to complain about but nothing to write home about either.
"If you reciprocate," the dark shadow lord told me, "you will be telling me that you like me as much as I like you in return."
I let him kiss me then and didn't reciprocate but didn't push him away either. It was interesting to compare his kisses and this type of thing with the kisses that evil guy had forced on me in the past while he was practising for when Bezel grew up. I didn't find them very different. Sure, the style and technique were different, but in the end, they were still just that.
I felt nothing. I was just there for people to vent their desires upon while they waited for the one they really loved and were waiting for.
After a while, the dark shadow lord drew back and stopped kissing me. Instead, he sighed and pulled me to go to sleep. He looked disappointed but I wasn't sure what he was disappointed about. Did he expect me to fall in love and like him back? As if that was ever going to happen.
During the night, I woke to him having wet dreams again. It was really disgusting. Annoying. Disruptive.
I ended up turning on the light to write in my journal while I allowed him to do whatever he wanted with my body. I couldn't write though because whatever he was doing to me wasn't unpleasant. He was slow and clumsy but at least, unlike Chef's obese son, he wasn't trying to hurt me. I couldn't write properly while he was tossing me around, so I had to wait until he had settled down and stopped moving before I started writing.
I thought he said he would never pay me this type of attention. Sigh.
No doubt he's going to scream when he wakes up again. Should I scream with him?