February 12
I started my day with my usual morning routine and wore an oversized, off-the-shoulder AC Milan 90's football jersey in bold red and black stripes. The loose fit and slouchy neckline give it a casual, effortlessly cool vibe. It features various graphic prints and logos, adding to the sporty aesthetic with the name Maldini and the number 3 on the back. The jersey is styled over a pair of black faux leather shorts layered with white safety shorts that are longer than the leather shorts. An adjustable belt cinches the waist to give some structure to the oversized jersey. Slouchy, pointed-toe black boots that reach just below the knees. A pair of sleek black sunglasses. The LV crossbody bag. Minimal gold jewelry.
After breakfast, I headed to the old dorm where we used to stay during our OnA days. Manager Unnie had sent a text in the group chat, letting us know that the staff had already arrived and set up cameras throughout the building. She reminded us that everything would be recorded, and there would be a YouTube live broadcast from 10 am to 4 pm, so we had to be mindful of our actions.
When I arrived, Yuji and Haeven were already there. I dropped my luggage, and we shared a quick, heartfelt hug. "I missed you both so much!" I exclaimed. They hugged me back warmly, echoing how long it had been since we last saw each other, it had been almost a year.
Soon, the rest of the members arrived. We put our luggage in our designated rooms and gathered in the living room, lounging on the sofas. It felt so nostalgic as we caught up on everything that had happened in our lives over the past year. We laughed, shared stories, and even shed a few happy tears.
We spent the afternoon snacking, playing games, and simply enjoying each other's company. By evening, we headed to the practice room to rehearse. We started with one of our latest songs, getting back into sync, and then decided to take on a new challenge, a dance cover. After considering everyone's suggestions, we chose my pick, 'Guerrilla' by Ateez. It was a tough song, but we were all excited.
First, we watched the MV, followed by their dance practice video, and finally a comeback stage performance. I was practically fangirling because I genuinely loved their music. Even though I had listened to the song multiple times, mastering the choreography was challenging.
We divided the parts based on each member's strengths:
- Yuji took Hongjoong's part.
- Somi was assigned Mingi's sections.
- Hani covered Wooyoung's parts, along with Yunho's center break dance.
- Lily handled Yeosang's sections and Jung-ho's parts in the choruses and the second segment in the bridge(high note).
- Chaeyeon took Yunho's sections and Jung-ho's parts during the first pre-chorus, second post-chorus, and high note during the dance break.
- Haeven took on Seonghwa's lines and Jung-ho's first segment in the bridge.
- I was assigned San's lines, along with parts of Jung-ho's first post-chorus and second pre-chorus.
We practiced our parts diligently into the night. After hours of intense rehearsal, we decided to take a break. The staff had prepared a cozy barbecue by the fireplace, and we spent the night grilling, singing, and making memories.
It was late when we finally retired to our rooms. I did my nightly routine, updated Ivan about my day, and had a video call with Lucas before drifting off to sleep.
February 13 - February 16
The very next day, the stage and the outfits were prepared for us to deliver a whole performance. We rehearsed in the morning and covered "Guerrilla" in the afternoon.
These days were a whirlwind of activities. We recorded vlogs, went live on social media, and just soaked in each other's presence. We even celebrated Valentine's Day together, reading heartfelt letters from fans and writing replies filled with love and gratitude.
Despite the cold weather, we couldn't resist jumping into the pool and splashing around like kids. We were thrilled to see the company updating our official accounts with our fun moments. It was a joyful time, but a small shadow loomed over me when I got into a heated phone argument with Lucas. He was upset that I didn't spend Valentine's Day with him, even after I had explained my plans. Knowing I was seeing someone my members didn't know, even though I said it was for fun, it irked them and concerned them at the same time, but I reassured them that it was just a casual outing to fend off boredom, which eased their worries.
During my stay in Seoul, I went on a "friendly date" with Jungwon. We're not super close, but we have always been friendly colleagues. A few days earlier, I had wished him a happy birthday, and our conversation somehow turned into a casual promise of a friendly date. He had requested it as his birthday wish, and I had agreed. To my surprise, he showed up with a bouquet of pink flowers, a sweet gesture since it was the day after Valentine's Day. I let him hold the bouquet and post a pic on my Instagram account without showing his face. I had brought a yellow flower bouquet for him as well, and we both burst out laughing at the coincidence.
That day he asked me to wear a black colored bottom and a white colored top. Which I did. I wore a plain black denim skirt and a plain white T-shirt from Elitéra; I wore nude stockings paired with black ankle boots because of the cold temperature and adorned myself with simple silver accessories and a Chanel quilted contrast crossbody bag packed with essentials such as a mask, shades, and a beanie.
Jungwon gave me a cardigan; he said he would bring it. The matching cardigan, the one given to me, was his while he was wearing Niki's cardigan. We wore matching outfits.
We spent the day enjoying each other's company, chatting easily, and even filmed a TikTok together for the Miomio challenge. I posted my video on Instagram, while he shared his on their official group account.
I also prepared myself to appear on 'Boys Planet' in person. I only had to appear, and everything was prepared and scripted for me by my staff.
February 17
After my morning routine, I dressed in a Chanel tweed style short-sleeved casual shift dress. I Chanel boy woc bag and Chanel black heels, and adorned myself with Chanel simple pearl accessories.
It was bittersweet saying goodbye, especially since most of the unnies would be staying in Seoul for a few more days. But I had to leave.
Before heading to the airport, I stopped by the company at Manager Unnie's request. She informed me that I had received an offer for a Hollywood movie. Initially, I wasn't interested due to my packed schedule, but after some persuasion, I decided to at least consider it.
I spent the afternoon at my grandparents' house, having lunch with them. I spend the remaining time with Taeyong and then Yeonjun. Leaving around 6 p.m. from Incheon, I flew overnight to Boston, arriving around 3-4 p.m. local time. Exhausted from the long journey, I took a refreshing shower and then collapsed into bed for some much-needed rest.
February 18 - February 19
Zach came over these two days to help me catch up on the lectures I had missed. He patiently explained the materials I found challenging, making sure I was back on track. He also helped me with practicals.
February 20 - February 24
I finally informed Lucas that I had returned to Boston. We met up the same day, and I gifted him a Rolex watch to make up for my absence on Valentine's Day. Although I agreed to go out with him, I still felt uneasy around him.
Later that evening, Ivan discovered that I had a boyfriend. He wasn't thrilled. He didn't want me to experience another heartbreak like last time. We ended up arguing, something that had never happened before. Ivan's harsh words stung, and in my frustration, I shouted, "I hate you for treating me like this," before storming off to my room.
We ignored each other for a few days, creating an awkward silence between us. My mom eventually stepped in as the peacemaker. If you're wondering how our parents found out, it's because Ivan and I always call them together or at least text in our family group chat, but in the last few days, we were quiet and didn't reply to the chat group or call our parents.
Ivan eventually laid down a few ground rules for dating: no bringing boyfriends to the house, no overnight stays, and a strict curfew. Otherwise, he'd "break my legs so I would stay at home."
On the 24th, we attended Sean's parents' wedding anniversary party. I wore a stunning haute couture gown that Ivan had prepared for me, which caught everyone's attention. I and Ivan always match our outfits when we go out together. When arriving, Ivan was dragged away by Sean, I was left in the company of Ryan, Sean's younger brother. Though initially reluctant, Ryan ended up showing me around. We bonded over a game where we guessed the guests' occupations, thanks to my extensive knowledge of psychology. It was the only time we actively chatted before returning to our polite, distant selves after Ivan's, Sean's, and Zack's return.
February 25
I did my morning routine and dressed up for the day in a tied navy cardigan around my neck over a white long-sleeve crop top with a crew neck, high-waisted navy colored pants with dramatic flare paired with white Chanel chunky shoes, and a Chanel baseball cap. Chanel black flap bag and silver accessories.
I attended a race with Lucas. Coincidentally, I ran into Ryan there. He was surprised to see me with Lucas, and he greeted me before acknowledging him if we were strangers. This irked me, especially when Ryan quizzed Lucas on how he managed to have a new girl every week, making me suspicious.
After the race, I returned home and instructed Isuki to investigate Lucas. I had avoided it before, trusting that even a casual dating partner deserved some level of trust. But my instincts were right! Isuki came back with a report confirming that Lucas was a notorious playboy, complete with photos.
When Zach came over that evening to study, I was too distracted, which worried him. He left early, urging me to get some rest. Shortly after, Isuki reported back with more disturbing details.
"Lucas is at a motel right now... with someone else," Isuki said hesitantly. I made up my mind then and there. I instructed Isuki to book our entire hotel and bring Lucas to me early the next morning. I didn't need to spell out the details; Isuki understood, having trained under Aaron and Hyunwoo.