A gentle hand caressed my head, smoothing out the wet hair that felt plastered to it. The touch was warming and inviting. It soothed all the stress in my body and confusing pain that didn't have time to reach up and grab me. The touch was soothing, bringing me back to the reality I was actually in.
"There you are, my angel," Janus's voice made me jolt. I threw my eyes open to meet her just sitting above me. My head was in her lap, the water from my hair and soaked clothing dripping onto her legs just under my head.
"Jan-"
"Vienna!" Bridget knelt beside me, her hand on my shoulder and tears streaming down her wet face.
Seth and Rory came over to kneel around me, all of them at least touching me in some way. That's why I felt so warm, so comforted, and so safe: the warmth from their hands, Janus's body, and even Casper, who was kneeling to rub my feet with his nose.
"What happened?" I coughed, struggling to sit up slightly.
"We-" Rory looked between everyone, their eyes slightly wavering when they looked at the goddess. "We don't know.. you just passed out or something, and we took you up here. Then the Gate Goddess came over…"
"What happened, Vienna?" Bridget said out loud, her hand just above my own.
"I... I really don't know." Confusion and uncertainty spread among everyone. "I just went out and then..."
"That's enough." The goddess suddenly stood up, taking me in her arms as she did so. My friends moved away quickly, straightening their backs and curling their wings that slightly quivered. "I will be taking Vienna. Please, be careful next time, my angels." Janus bowed to them before turning her head.
I looked over her shoulder, watching my friends look at one another with guilt. But it wasn't their fault; they didn't do anything.
Casper barked, tailing behind the goddess. Janus looked down at him, her wings spreading wide and casting a shadow on him. His ears flattened, his eyes wide and big as they looked pleadingly at her. Janus made a sound, shaking her head. She smiled and nodded before we were off the ground.
Casper was right behind us, actually flying along with us. Janus must have allowed him to do so since he looked so happy to be here.
I took my attention back to Janus. Her expression was somewhat tight—not like her normal, relaxed, and easy expression. I was tempted to say something, but I felt like I didn't have the time to do so. She didn't scare me; instead, I was worried.
"I had a memory."
"I know…" Janus let out a breathy sigh, jolting me slightly at her quick response. She turned her eyes to me, "it was stronger than normal, wasn't it? You didn't know what was real."
"I didn't feel any pain during or before it either. It was more relaxed and…"
"It was not real." Her voice was firm, making me flinch at the new way she spoke. It was washed away when the goddess realized her mistake, she shook her head and pushed me closer to her chest so she was cradling me. "Please, stay away from your memories. It will only harm you, my angel."
She kissed my head, easing all of the stress in my bones into nothing.
I let myself melt into her embrace, clinging to her as if she were a lifeline while I was drowning in an endless sea. I couldn't help but worry about my friends and how they were doing. I felt terrible for lying to them, but I wasn't sure how they would react or what they would think. I knew that this situation wasn't normal for me; I wasn't even supposed to feel pain here.
"You have no need to be stressed; I am here." Janus ran her hand down my hair. The tangled, wet strands fell back down, along with a chill that silently crept through me. "I will take you someplace to get dried off and get comfortable."
I looked ahead and saw the palace coming into view, which made my breath catch in my throat. Casper yipped excitedly near my ear, spinning around in the open air and flying in circles with his tail wagging joyfully. I giggled at the pup's excitement, but I could also feel the creeping fear of what might happen soon.
But that comforting hand on my skin, the cool breath, and the soft eyes of the goddess told me all I needed to know.
I was safe with her.
Her feet hit the ground with a soft tick of her shoes. She began to walk me in, Casper following after, his wings fluffing up and curling on top of him. He knew to stay close to the goddess but not to touch her, his ears up and perked for anything to jump out.
Janus moved to a new place that I had never visited before. The palace was enormous, and I knew there were thousands of rooms I would never see. We entered through vast corridors and arches adorned with intricate carvings of vines. I think I spotted a few cupids or cherubs carved into the walls. I tried to look for more, but I could only make out a few potions high up, where there were carvings depicting the Heaven Wolves.
Were there no angel ones? Or even the pups?
The goddess passed them without a glance to enter a far-off room in a hall with other doors patterned in a golden shimmer. The room was vast, though it was small compared to what I thought I would see in the rooms of this mystical place.
She set me down on a couch that was oddly soft, with a pale blue color under my fingers. I was still wet, so the soft material quickly became matted. I tried to stand up and back away from it to avoid ruining the furniture.
"Vienna dear, it's alright." Janus appeared beside me, a hand closing around my waist to guide me back.
"I don't want to ruin it."
"You will not, here." She handed me a small pile of clothing that looked identical to what I was wearing. She went up and took off the small crown from my head to continue guiding me over to the side of the room, where curtains lay in a golden flower pattern. "There, you will get undressed and dry off. Please, relax here."
I moved the curtain aside, looking into the small dressing room. It had a seating area with the same pale couch hanging on the side of the wall. Some soft and fluffy towels were held; they looked nice and inviting.
I turned to close the curtain, but I stopped myself halfway so I could still see a bit of Janus on the side. The goddess stayed standing, her golden lashes fluttering and an easy smile on her lips. She appeared calm and just waiting for me..
I finally stepped into the small space, removing my cuffed golden collar before letting the rest of my tunic slip off. As the wet fabric was pulled away, I let out a relieved sigh. It felt so much better to be free of that damp and stuffy sensation. However, being exposed made it challenging to feel completely comfortable.
The soft, fluffy towel hung over my head, picking up all the water that had soaked into my hair. When I felt like I was dry enough, I decided to put back on what Janus had given me. The white tunic fit perfectly back into place like I never took it off to begin with.
When I felt ready, I turned to exit the small room to be met with Casper jumping up at me. He was sitting patiently outside of the curtain, and seeing that I was done, he began to beg for some pets and kisses. I kneeled to give him some, earning little purrs from the overgrown puppy.
Janus was still standing up, facing the small dressing room with her eyes closed. She appeared modest, giving me some time to compose myself and get ready before she heard me and opened her eyes.
"My angel.." She reached out, motioning for me to come to her. When I was near the tall goddess, she set something back onto my head. "There you are. I hope you are feeling more comfortable."
"I am.." I sighed through my teeth, unable to help myself with the action.
Janus noticed it. "What is troubling you?"
She didn't have to ask twice, I have been wanting to ask so many things to her. The confusion and questions running through my head are making it hard to actually live peacefully here.
"It's just—" A sigh, "I am constantly thinking. I am thinking about what is wrong with me because I know something is. I don't know what, but it is making it so hard to relax unless I am with you. I don't know what it is, and that is eating up at me. I was hoping.. y-you could tell me."
"Darling, nothing is wrong with you." Her hand smoothed down my hair, taking the towel with it to fall onto my shoulders. "It isn't you that is making this happen. Well, not all of you."
"I'm just getting more confused..!"
Janus shushed slightly, cupping my face in her large hands. "Vienna. I... I can't tell you all of what is happening to you."
"Why?" I heard my own desperation in that tone.
The goddess gulped, letting out a sigh. "Because it won't help. The more you know, the more painful it will be."
"No—" I grabbed her hand, hovering just above my heart. "Not with you here. You keep me safe; you're protecting me, so I will be safe."
Her eyes spoke of sadness that made me weak to my knees. "I am afraid this pain is too far for even me to catch…"
What..?
"Vienna, my beautiful angel. You are special—so much more than you believe you are, and all I want to do is protect you." She pulled me closer, and her strong, soft scent made my tense shoulders fall. "That is why I cannot tell you it all. But I will explain anything else that you want to know."
I calmed my racing heart; my clammy hands felt sweaty for no reason. "Is there a reason I can feel pain? No other angel can."
"That-" Janus shook her head, "that is because you still want to remember."
"What? I-I don't understand."
"It is all connected to what is happening here," she said, placing her hand on my chest, just above my heart. "And here." Her hand then moved up to my head, just above my temple. "You have something powerful lingering inside you—something stronger than anything I have ever encountered. That's why it must not be allowed to surface. Only you can keep those memories at bay and protect yourself."
So it was me?
"No," she read my thoughts with a welcoming embrace. "You are not at fault here."
"Then who..?" It was strained, strange. It was bile, vile, and rushing through like a hot, coursing wave.
I felt Janus stiffen as she held me. I was frozen too, unable to comprehend why my voice sounded the way it did or why my emotions were laid bare with such a powerful yet familiar intensity.
Her hand came to the base of my neck, and her scent completely engulfed me. It was suddenly dark.
. . .
—
Vienna was out. The Gate Goddess did not want to go that far and forcefully put her out, but she could not help but do it out of fear. A real rising fear was in the pit of her stomach and making her lips tremble. She held the angel softly, hoisting her up to carry her with one hand under her so the unconscious angel could lean her body in a sitting position against Janus.
Casper yipped, not daring to jump up on the goddess as he circled her legs. Janus looked at him, her eyes stern yet soft. The Heaven Pup let out a gruff, his ears flattening with alarm.
"She is alright, sleeping, Casper." Her words were understandable for the pitbull, allowing him to relax. Though still concerned, Janus let the pup follow her out.
As she soared away from the palace on her way to Angels Cove, Janus took a moment to reflect. With Vienna peacefully asleep in her arms, she found herself uncertain about what to do. She had a crucial role in preventing evil and danger from entering through the gates, but she also needed to protect those she cared for.
Guide them to safety along and everlasting peace.
But Vienna, her beloved angel with whom she felt a deep connection, was a source of unrest. She couldn't find peace because a part of her mind was forcing those memories and emotions to resurface, preventing her from achieving any sense of tranquility.
"It's all just an emotion," Janus mumbled, her eyes trailing down to the small angel. "What can I do?" She wanted to pray for an easy meaning, a smart and right choice that would allow Vienna to continue being safe with her.
The goddess dropped down at the entrance of the cove, nodding to her angels who bowed or waved. They didn't speak to her, noticing the frantic clicks of her walking over to Vienna's den.
She knew it was the wrong choice. It wasn't allowed; she shouldn't hide something so trivial and dangerous from the other goddess. But they couldn't understand what to do when it was mentioned. They wouldn't know what to do with Vienna, so why must she say something?
Janus entered the room, silently guiding the angel onto her bed with a soft hold. The angel was lifeless, her lashes fluttering so slightly when her wings were curled up around her body. Janus stayed close, allowing Casper to take his place beside her so Vienna would still be warm and comforted.
"Right," Janus stood back up, the dust swirling around her skin in a bright glow. "I will not say anything." She extended her hand just above the purple hair of her angel, hovering close but not touching, allowing the glowing dust to sprinkle down over Vienna.
Vienna made a noise, moaning into the particles that ran down her face. There was a bit of discomfort before she smiled slightly, her body relaxing and easing into the warmth of Casper curled up against her chest. Janus moved her hand back, the glow falling into the ground when she did so.
"I will protect you."