My feet were dangling in the air and my face was being pressed into a rippling sweaty man-chest by a pair of well-defined arms that were almost as thick as my thighs, and probably stronger. None of these things were things I agreed with or wanted to be this close to.
"I owe you my life, Drew!" My enthusiastic fellow monster slayer said... enthusiastically. Even when he wasn't shouting his voice was... big, a rumbling brass more fitting for a giant then just a man, no matter how large.
"I...unf... think we did out fair... guh... share of saving," I grunted as I tried to push myself away from. "Can you please let me go? This is far... ugh... closer than I ever want to be to another man."
"There is no shame for you to admire my muscles, to feel the perfection of my form. Feel its strength! Its truth!" he exclaimed passionately.
"I... urp... you're messin' with me, right?" I grunted in disgust before I let my body go limp, the sudden shift in weight let me slip from his grasp before I used my flight suit to fly up and away from the way to affectionate Indian meat-head.
Takoda didn't appear to be perturbed by my escape, he simply took the classic superman pose, with his fisted hands resting against his hips and his chest puffed out. The fucker was actually posing! "You speak most strangely, where are you from, my friend?"
"Around," I stated noncommittally while rubbing my face, god, he'd gotten his sweat all over me! I cast an Aquamnti followed by a cleaning charm and a drying charm for extra measure. I might have to burn the suit once I got the Mark Two up and running. Just to be sure.
"I see that you wield your magic without the use of a wand," He stated, while producing a wand of his own and twirled it around for a moment before tucking it away in the sash around his waist. "My people once practiced magic as you do, but it fell out of use with the coming of the spirit-blind to our shores and the wand with them." He stated, looking thoughtful.
"Uh, yeah... Your shapeshifting is pretty fly, too. You're an Animagi, right? I didn't know you could take more than one form." I said awkwardly.
Takoda truck another heroic pose and flexed his pecs at me. I shuddered in disgust. "Hah! An impressive feat is it not?! One that is grown from the fertile mind of Takoda of the Niitsitapi!"
I think this is what having an existential crisis feels like, in fact, I know it is. I'd had one when I'd first arrived in this universe, that was that disunity in your mind when what you believed to be true was proven to not only be untrue but the exact opposite of that. I did not think anyone like Takoda could possibly exist in real life, yet here he was, bigger than life, ironically enough.
"This is an act, right?" I asked, almost desperately. "You do this to get people to underestimate you, right?
Takoda gave me a confused look, it was like a giant puppy looking at something new. I groaned and rubbed at my temples in frustration to stave off the headache I felt coming on before taking a deep breath. "It's fine, it's cool. This is not the weirdest thing you have run across. Just accept it and move on."
"You are a most peculiar person, my friend." The giant Indian proclaimed.
"You are one to talk," I muttered under my breath before raising my voice. "Alright, so the multi-form transformation is something you figured out yourself, you said."
Takoda gave me a proud smile. "It is so. The traditional way, while adequate for most, was not enough for me. So I put my prodigious intellect to the task of finding a way that was better. I strained my brain as I do my mighty body," He flexed and struck a pose that most bodybuilders would recognize as the Side Triceps. "And after great effort, I discovered this superior way that is mine!"
"Er... right. Mind telling me how you do it exactly." I asked.
Takoda retook his Superman pose. "HAHAHAH! Do you seek the knowledge of the great Takoda?! Of course, you do! Just as many have before you. They were found to be lacking, but perhaps you are worthy...!"
Wow! Those were some red flags, I didn't want to be put to the test by an insane meat-headed Indian. "You know what, never mind. I'm not really much for transforming into animals." I interrupted him loudly.
The shapeshifter looked bewildered at my interruption but rallied admirably. "Very well. But if you should change your mind know that I will be glad to test your worth!"
I bet you would, you nutter, I thought to myself before floating over to our kill. With a gesture, I levitated the boulder of the now headless corpse. "Geez, big sucker aren't you."
Takoda crossed his big arms over his chest proudly. "A most worthy foe, indeed!"
"What the hell is it? I've not seen anything like it, and I'd have remembered something like this." I wondered as I landed and knelt down to take a closer look.
"It is an unnatural beast, born from the experimentations of twisted minds amongst the spirit-blind. It has haunted these lands for two centuries, traveling from coast to coast, leaving death and misery in its wake. Many have tried to slay it, yet none have succeeded, UNTIL NOW!" The big Indian proclaimed loudly.
And he was flexing again.
This thing was fast, strong, resistant to magic, had sharp and powerful claws, and a breath weapon that, while not as powerful as a dragon, was more than enough to cook an unwary wizard. It didn't help that the damn thing could fly! Those things alone would have made it a deadly foe, but it had obviously been intelligent. It could talk, which meant it could probably plan. Any wizard that went after it and didn't know that was likely to find himself the Beast's next meal. No wonder it had lived so long.
It was the very definition of an apex predator. I made a note to start carrying my Caster with me from now on; it would have been invaluable in the fight against the Beast. I'd have to make a holster for it when I got home, but that shouldn't pose too much of a problem
My attention was drawn to my new Indian acquaintance, who had shifted his attention from me to his prize, the disembodied head. He'd produced a small knife from somewhere and was in the process of doing something to the Beasts mouth. As I watched he peeled back the dead Beast's upper lip, exposing a set of intimidating fangs. He used the knife to make a quick incision to the gums just above the canine tooth before pulling it out. Takoda examined the tooth closely, holding it up to the light, then set it down on the ground. He took out his wand and used a cutting spell to chop off the tip of one of its horns, which he also inspected, rubbing his thumb over it slowly, before placing it next to the tooth. He then moved over beside me, removed one claw from its hand and another from its feet, completing the set.
"Feel free to take what you wish, I am not greedy. I might have killed it, but you pinned it." Takoda offered generously.
I was about to refuse before I changed my mind. There was no telling as to the properties its various parts might have when used for potions. Waste not, want not. "Alright, let's talk business."