Lys slammed the letter she was holding down on the desk I was sitting in front of and then glared at me as if I'd just tortured and killed a puppy in front of her. I sighed internally, and here I'd thought today would be nice and quiet. It was early Saturday morning, the sun was out and nary a cloud in sight across the sky. Summer had come to Hogwarts, and there was only a little over two weeks left before the end of term, and things were going well. I was making good progress with my various projects. The education phase of my five new companions was nearing its end, and I was satisfied that their personalities and mannerisms now mostly matched what I had set out to achieve. They weren't perfect by any means, but I'd known that wasn't even a possibility when I'd started. But I had managed to steer their developing personalities to at least resemble the characters I'd modeled them after. Which had been something of a feat.
It hadn't been easy to do, and it had involved some practices that would have been considered borderline torture if they had been human, considering that they spent their first few months of life in what was basically solitary confinement. I'd done that to cut down the variables I didn't know about, but that might have caused them to deviate from what I wanted. I admit, it had left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, even though I was their creator, what I had done was at best morally dubious. Not that the five cared in the slightest, they had been more than content to read the materials I'd prepared for them. That didn't stop me from feeling a bit guilty. But I didn't see how I could do it differently. it would hopefully be worth it in the end. Famous last words...
The Mark Two was progressing apace, I was already done with the arms and torso and things were looking good so far. It had been a surprisingly easy, if time-consuming, process. The hardest part had actually been to design it so that I could get into it, which had been more difficult then I'd initially expected. Most of that stemmed from the fact that the whole thing had to be skin tight, which necessitated some creative solutions if I wanted to keep the whole thing in one piece. Finding the best place for the seams had been a challenge.
I'd gone ahead and created what I'd come to think of as the Plasma Drone, or simply Drone. I'd made twenty of them and expected to introduce them to Dumbledore after the opening feast. I'd pitch it as a way to defend Hogwarts against attack should Piddly show up. Total bullshit of course. I knew Tommy-Boy wouldn't attack Hogwarts until the end of the second war. Or at least I knew he hadn't in the books. But Dumbledore didn't know that and this way Hogwarts would be protected should I be wrong. There was always the chance that I'd butterlied something by simply being around.
The Drone looked much like an ordinary plasma core with three progressively larger rings slowly rotating around a glowing center, new was the small swarm of small adamant rings that now circled the main body of the drone, enough for the little bugger to fire in two directions at once. I'd also added a rudimentary mind to work as a sort of IFF; it was about smart enough to not target Hogwarts students or other children. I had created a token to compliment it; of course, no friend-or-foe system was perfect after all. Lastly, I made it so the rightful headmaster of Hogwarts could take conscious control of the drones should he or she want to. But that last feature would require Dumbledores to help to implement since it would require him to tie them into the defensive charms that protected the school.
I'd been working on the Mark Two when our lovable dwarf maid had changed into my workshop with a fine head of steam going, by the looks of her anyway.
I peered down at the letter she had deposited on my desk curiously but made no move to pick it up. For all, I knew it was a howler. I'd never gotten any of those, or any letters of any kind, really. But I wasn't eager to experience it firsthand. I doubted I warranted anything so horrible as a Weasely scale howler, but you never know with magicals. They were plum loco, or however you said it.
I looked over at Lys, who was fuming at me. "Yeeeees?"
"My parents want to meet you. They have invited you to visit during the summer break." Lys growled out.
I blinked. Several different emotions manifested themselves pretty much at the same time. The first and most prominent was a shock. Why would Lys parents want to meet me? What had she been saying about me? The second was apprehension. What did this mean? Had I done something? Third came curiosity. What was this about? And lastly came amusement. Lys was clearly not happy about this, so, how could I have some fun with this?
It was a small miracle that I'd been able to keep a neutral seeming front through the brief storm of emotions, the shock helped, I think. I pursed my lips and looked down at the untouched letter again before giving Lys a mock pitying look.
"Lys honey, I don't think our relationship is at that stage where I feel it is a good idea for us to take this step." I simpered.
I was a bit proud to see the simmering anger die away and be replaced with irritated disgust. "Really, you're gonna go there?"
"We haven't even talked about children yet." I continued as if I hadn't heard her. "And what about your career!?"
Lys reached up and massaged the bridge of her nose while praying for strength. "Do we have to go through this every time?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked mock-cluelessly. "Go through what?"
"You making fun of me for ten minutes before even looking at what I want you to!" She yelled at me.
"You'd feel unappreciated if I didn't." I countered brightly.
"No, I bloody wouldn't!" She snapped at me. "I'd thank the forge gods for my good fortune!"
"That's really hurtful you know." I mock-whimpered.
Lys visibly steeled herself before blowing out a breath. "What do I have to do for you to take this seriously?"
I shrugged. "It actually being serious?"
"This is serious!" She yelled again.
"How is this serious?" I asked amusedly. "So the parental units want to have a look at me, big deal. Did they say why?"
Lys crossed her arms over her ample chest and glared at me accusingly. "No. Have you been talking to them?"
"No, what reason would I have to do that? So what have you been telling them?" I asked.
"Don't try to blame this on me!" She said affronted.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Not blaming you, just trying to see what I can figure out. So what have you been saying about me."
"Nothing important, just what you have been teaching me, and about the Ember. I didn't tell them anything about anything you wanted to keep secret." She said and crossed her arms over her chest in a huff. I took a moment to admire what it did to her... assets... Ahem!
"And you don't think that would pique their interest? Some random wizard just up and give you secrets thought lost for generations? Seems mighty convenient, don't you think?" I suggested lightly. "I think I'd be curious about such a person, would they turn up around any of my kids, if I ever had any."
"Gods forbid," Lys muttered as if in prayer. "One of you is more then enough, I can't even imagine you... breeding!"
"See, it's saying mean stuff like such that leads to me mocking you." I pointed out smugly.
"You started it!" Lys snaped immideately.
"I applaud your maturity." I mocked.
Lys growled but didn't take the bait, this time. Good girl. "What are we gonna do about this!?"
"I don't mind swinging by for a few hours and reassure them that I'm not ravishing their daughter," I told her brightly.
"See, that's why I'm not happy about this, that right there. You'll come to my house and be like that!" She accused and stabbed me in the chest with her finger.
"Charming, witty and devastatingly funny?" I suggested irreverently.
"Crass, rude and stupid." Lys countered with a sneer.
I pointed at her lazily. "See, that's what I call digging yourself in deeper."
"At this point, I don't think even you could make this any worse." She growled.
I smiled at her deviously. "I bet your parents have lots of funny stories about you that they are just dying to share."
"I should just kill you and hide the body." The dwarf maid muttered.
"Come and have a go if you think yer hard enough!" I challenged with a grin.
"Don't tempt me you little prick." She threatened and waved a meaty fist at me. Well, meaty for a girl anyway. "I'll trounce you like the last time!"
"You're one to talk, Shortstack." I returned unconcerned. "It won't be as easy for you next time. I'll be ready for you then."
"I beat your ass like a drum the last time, I'd like to see how you'd manage that!" Lys challenged confidently.
"I didn't knew you liked my ass that much, I'll have to mention it to your parents." I told her with a shit-eating grin.
Lys groaned and snatched up her letter. "This is a nightmare. My parents will think I'm insane for hanging around a nutbag like you!"
"They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I guess that's why I'm so awesome!" I crowed unrepentantly.
"Oh my god..." Lys moaned in despair.
I chuckled and decided to cut her some slack. "Fine you drama queen, I'll behave myself. I promise only to embarrass you a little bit."
Lys made a motion like she wanted to strangle me. "I hate you so much."
"You love me, you know it," I told her dismissively.
"So. Much!" She emphasized.
"Like you wouldn't do the same to me if you had a chance," I said.
Lys glared at me. "No I wouldn't, not everyone is an overgrown man-child, incapable of being serious for more than ten seconds at a time." She countered harshly.
"Life's too short for serious. Have what fun you can, while you can, because someday it will be too late." I told her as a sudden flash of melancholy came over me before I pushed it away. "God that was maudlin, I don't know what came over me."
"Suffering from a sudden bout of sanity, a touch of common sense perhaps?" Lys snarked.
"Hey, I'm all about sanity and common sense, have you seen the stuff I make, it's really fucking obvious things I'm doing here," I told her proudly. "Common sense and sanity is my bitch."
"Yes, the dungbomb shell for your gun was sheer genius." Lys retorted dryly.
"Hell yeah it is, anyone who gets shot with that is gonna be puking their guts out!" I laughed enthusiastically. "Super effective non-lethal takedown. You can't tell me that's not inspired."
"I'll never understand what it is about boys and your fascination with poop." Lys sighed.
"It's nature's comedy," I told her smugly. "It's hardly my fault that you were born without a sense of taste and humor."
"I don't think you know what those two things are." Lys snarked back. "Actually, I know you don't."
"Oooh, let me get some salve for that burn." I retourted blandly.
Lys squinted at me in confusion. "What does that even mean?"
Oh, that might not be a thing yet. Sweet, I can be a trendsetter. Never been one of those before! "The future, Shortstack. It's the future!"
Lys rolled her eyes before walked off towards my bedroom, obviously intending to get some work done in the Room of Requirements. "Oooh, this early in the morning, you saucy minx you."
Lys snorted. "Not even in your wildest dreams, Bonehead."
I jumped up to follow her. I'd gotten a new idea while I'd been torturing my lovable dwarf maid and some time in a time compression field would allow me to get it done quicker.
"I dunno, my dreams are pretty wild," I said and waggled my eyebrows.
"Pig." She muttered.
"Man." I retorted unrepentantly.
"Same difference."
"I don't really like mud."
"Strange, your head is full of it."
"Point to you! Good one." I complimented with a laugh.
Lys just rolled her eyes and shook her head.