Masha lounged about in the secret little cabin where Vee's friends hung out with Connie and Vee, smirking as she saw a pink lion carrying the gang into the room. "... You guys continue to amaze me."
"We just spent the whole day in Korea talking to a giant blue alien tyrant, this barely scratches the surface." Luz shrugged as she plopped her feet on the ground. "So what's the dealio with Mayor Universe so far."
"Well he's not arming them with artificial magic, so that's a plus." Connie nodded. "Although they ARE starting to involve the FBI so … that's gonna escalate."
"Luckily for me, they really can't do anything since I keep taking new faces." Vee chuckled. "... But yeah, the gems are in trouble and we really need this situation fixed. Tell me you have a plan."
"Does shoving suicidal depression into a man sound like a plan?" Lucci asked, holding onto Luz tightly.
"...I say it depends on the man." Masha said honestly after a minute of contemplating. "So you got some new wacky spell to make the bastard off himself?"
"Something like that." Luz nodded. "We went to Korea and met Blue Diamond."
"The coldhearted empty void of a woman that Garnet is deathly afraid of?" Vee asked. "Keep in mind that I'm using the g-rated version of those words."
"Oh, she's terrifying, and a bit too much to handle, but as far as all powerful planet crushing villains go, she's on the nice side." Lucci shrugged.
"It was disturbing watching Clawthorne have a conversation with her." Hunter shivered. "But now we have two diamond glyphs … with no idea on how to form them into cohesive attacks."
"I'll figure it out … the moment I'm no longer crushed." Luz said, stuck in the middle of a hug pile.
"Ooh, love fest. Now I'm in the mood." Masha grabbed Connie and Vee and held them close. "Come on, we can break down our emotional barriers and get closer together."
"Now is really not the time!" Connie shouted, while Vee just blushed and curled up against the two of them. "... No fair Vee, I can't be mad at you."
"Anyways, we have both Blue and Pink glyphs to use on our side." Willow comminuted. "Our main goal is to use the Pink Glyph to break him apart, separating the Belos ooze from Lucci's sperm donor, and possibly Bismuth and Peridot if we can help it."
"Only issue with that is after the last time we confronted him, there's no way Belos is going to let us come anywhere near him after we actually managed to hurt him." Hunter growled.
"Can't you guys just illusion your way in?" Connie asked. "I'm not entirely sure of the limits of magic."
"The only limit to magic is oneself." Vee smiled. "... Literally, they have this organ that produces magic like the heart produces blood. Too much and you get an anemic effect."
"I could use illusions like last time." Gus brought up. "Except if Belos is using artificial magic again, he'll likely have some kind of counter against it, especially after I used it to make Mr. Universe lose control."
"We could always take Andy's plane and crash it into there. He probably won't be expecting that as an opening move." Amity suggested.
"Can we avoid causing mass collateral damage? Uncle Andy actually likes me, and I rather not sour the only good relationship I have on Greg's side of the family." Vee said.
"Why not just summon a powerful demon to take care of the problem?" Masha asked. "You guys seem to be good friends with a lot of the people down there."
"Charlie's non violent, and Alastor would probably find more amusement out of the situation than anything else." Willow rolled her eyes.
"Oooh, Cherri would be a good choice. She'd get some kicks out of blowing up the living world again." Lucci smirked.
"Actually, I heard from Moxxie that sinners are stuck in the pride ring, so I'm not sure if summoning them would be possible outside of a blood sacrifice." Hunter pointed out. "Though I guess I could get IMP here…then again they're mercenaries, so we'd need money."
"Hey Connie, Masha, could we borrow a hundred dollars?" Lucci asked.
"Yes/No way in hell." Masha and Connie answered respectively.
"Sweet, here comes help from the underworld … how do we open a portal to hell again?" Lucci asked.
"Can you punch a hole without getting us all sucked in?" Amity pointed out.
"Right…hey Masha, you know about satanic rituals, right?" The boy asked. "Can you help us out there?"
"Sure thing." She pecked Vee on the cheek before standing up. "Let's pull out a path to the underworld." Things just got a lot more interesting!
=======================================================================
Greg took another sip of cola. "This … this right here? Is the life." Sure he had to get used to working a full eight hours instead of just whenever business drove in, but with the green dorito in his head, all the math was easy to get through, and the rainbow gray gal took care of all the heavy lifting for his 'public assistance'. With Philip giving him all the notes on what to say, life was a breeze to get through.
Sure, one could say he was a glorified puppet, but he didn't care. For once he had a job that paid more than minimum wage and people respected him for once. As far as he cared, he could stay a puppy for the rest of his life. He got what he wanted out of life for a change.
The phone beeped. "Mr Universe, a man named Marty is here to see you." Oh he did NOT need this right now
Do you know him? My ex-manager, terrible at his job. "Tell him to piss off." He responded. The man couldn't manage himself out of a soup can. Whatever spiel the bastard wanted to sell, there was no way Greg was going to be buying.
"He says it's a matter of old business." The secretary answered after a minute of waiting.
We really shouldn't trust this …what if it's a legal matter? A lawsuit or the like would be bad for the image. But the guy's a sleazy dick. You can't trust anything he has to say. We can always threaten him back if he tries anything. "Send him in." Philip responded before he could argue.
The door's open, revealing the exact same pasty-faced bastard that Greg remembered working with all those years ago. The only difference was that there were a lot more wrinkles and a lot less hair. "Hey, hey, hey, Starchild. Wow, you've really picked yourself up in the past few years." The sleazy bastard whistled.
"Yeah, turns out you can get far when you're not held back by someone as self centered as you." Greg rolled his eyes.
"And I was able to reach the stars of fortune by not lugging around your fat butt everywhere, but hey, why dwell on the past?" The guy snickered. "Half expected you to be homeless when I saw you again, glad you're on your feet.
"Drop the chit chat, why are you really here?" Greg asked. "Last I checked, 'music was last century' or whatever shit you spouted while banging Validia."
"Whoa, someone's upgraded to using his big boy words over the last decade. Guess that pink broad of yours installed a little back bone into ya." Marty smirked. "I never said music was last century, concerts are what's last century, or at least, your ideas of what concerts are like are."
I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip out his spine and use it like a spear. Slow your role, see if he has anything incriminating, THEN threaten him. "So I took a few of your songs and uploaded them to some radio stations. Surprisingly, they took a liking to the terrible sounds."
"Oh….really…" He growled, snapping a pin that he was holding in his hand. "So glad….they liked them."
"Of course, it wasn't so much the song they liked as much as the tune, so after one or two tweakings to the lyrics, they were able to rework them into fast food commercial jingles. Turns out your mundane average tone goes perfectly with fries."
Fast food … his lifelong, heartfelt passion … was reduced to fast food jingles. "So … you came to insult me?" He felt the desk creak in his grip.
"Just a little. I mean, I would've never guessed how much money was in the advertisement business. Seriously, I became a millionaire within seven years selling your crappy tunes. Made paying for child support a snitch." Marty laughed. "So as much as of a pain in the ass as you were, I have you to thank for my current success." The man reached into his pocket. "So, I came down to show a little gratitude."
"..." Greg stared at the piece of paper. "... You're paying me because you're getting rich off my songs." Correction, it's your 'music' originally. He'd have to pay you to access the money to begin with. "You came here…..to mock me….for getting you rich?"
"What, no." The man said. "Don't get you undies in a twist, Starchild, I'm giving you-"
POW
Greg punched the man in the face. "Do NOT call me that! I am NOT a child, I am a full grown man! And I will not sit here as you get your kicks off laughing in my face!"
"What the fuck man?! Why are you getting so psycho!?" Marty exclaimed, whipping the blood off his face. "I was giving you your compensation for the songs you wrote!"
"It's not my compensation, this is just a way for some washed up has been like you to make money! Well guess what? I'm the one with money and power now! Now fuck off, before I make you pay!" Greg shouted.
The man looked at him with disgust, before growling. "It's ten million bucks."...What? "It's what I legally owe you for using your songs." The man showed off the check. "But you know what? Screw it. I don't care about the lawsuits. If you're going to be a big baby about it, then fine. An asshole like you wouldn't even know what to do with it to begin with."
"Ten million…"
"Yeah, ten million I'm not going to give you, since you're clearly so above it." Marty forced the doors open. "Maybe you'd be better off as a homeless bum. Least then you wouldn't fuck up everything around you." They slammed it shut.
Ten … mill … gone … "GGGAAAA!!!!"…..It's confirmed, your son definitely gets all of his anger from you. Weren't you killed by a hyper violent Rose? Maybe aggression attracts aggression? It's not my fault, the guy was being an ass! And you couldn't hold your tongue. Do you know HOW well that kind of finance would've benefited our cause!? If you had an argument just take control like always! And it's not like you haven't pinned them enough! None of this matters if they're just gonna ruin it all anyway, right? Idiot! My sole purpose in life isn't just those witches, its ALL inhuman kind! What you did set us back by twenty years of influence at least!
Just take the check back later, he'll need to hand it to us eventually. No way he's petty enough to lose out on all that cash. Obviously you haven't been around human scumbags. He's probably going to cash it all out at a casino or something. So many mistakes in having you as my puppet.
=======================================================================
"How's my little baby doin!?" Hunter heard the woman squeezing him tightly shout. Apparently Masha was very well versed in all things demonic….horrifyingly well versed.
"I knew you wouldn't resist the call of a good deal so soon." Blitz grinned. "So, we offing that Kevin fella or are we going after a shitty dad?" It was sad that Hunter was so reliant on the use of criminal activity now….or the fact that it was an anger prone imp from hell that gave him the most maternal affection he's ever experienced.
"Vee better not be damned when this whole thing is done." Connie accused the summoner.
"Pfft, don't worry about a thing, girlie, over half the people in the living world are already damned from the minute they're a milk drinking parasite on their mom's tits." Blitzo waved out. "Chances are that you and your loved ones will go to hell and be happy and married together till extermination day."
"I don't want Garnet to suffer though." The Basilisk pouted.
"Good news, we never saw the Cluster in hell, so there's a chance they don't go to the afterlife anyway." Boscha said without any tact.
"Wait, if gem's don't go to hell…then do they not have any souls?" Amity asked.
"Existential questions for another time." Lucci shook his head, handing Blitz the money. "Oh, and it's my Sperm Donor we're killing, though for my Angel's birthday, I'll ask for the sleazeballs head."
"Ahhh, present for the misses! Wonderful, Loony, put that down for later." The taller imp asked the white furred hellhound, who seemed to be completely disinterested in the conversation, having spent the entire time on her phone.
"So she's part of your company? Where was she when we went after the V's?" Willow asked.
"Loona's intel, not a field agent. She's pretty much a receptionist." Moxie explained. "Not a very good one at that, but we didn't have manpower to begin with."
"Choke on your bitch's jizz, you're lucky I've shown up at all." The hellhound growled, kicking the short male imp in the balls.
"Why am I getting the strangest sense of deja vu hearing her voice?" Amity scratched her head.
"Okay Moxie, get the gear ready. This is a special moment in a young boy's life, and we need to make the murder as painful as possible." The tall imp smiled. "So put on a good show for your baby boy."
"He's not my-agh, why do I even bother trying to defend myself?" Moxie rolled his eyes.
"Don't know, but you look adorable when you try too hard." Blitz slapped the imp on the back. "So stop looking like a dumbass before it rubs off any of your kid's coolness."
Moxie groaned, turning to him. "So how are we approaching the target? Long distance sniping or up close and personal brutal maiming?"
"Well, what do you have for regenerating political figures surrounded by armed guards and wielding artificial magic?" Hunter asked.
"...The fuck is 'artificial' magic?" Loona tilted her head.
"Magic energy gained from draining the lives of others, mostly rodents." Amity explained. "He mostly stays still in a fight because he's confident in his abilities, and he can back up the bite."
"Ah, arrogant prudes. My second favorite kind of victim!" Millie cheered. "Best way to deal with a motherfucker like that is to make them come to you, gets their head's full of pride and lowers their guard."
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but that brings us into a problem." Lucci said. "We're dealing with someone arrogant but patient. Like, he's had four hundred years for his master plan to go off."
"Oh, so he's an old geezer clinging onto the last shreds of relevance by killing anyone that slightly goes against his world view." Blitz nodded. "Just like my shitty dad."
"Exactly." Lucci nodded. "Seriously, why are the smartest people I meet never human?"
"Unintentional jab aside…" Luz grumbled. "Belos hates anything non-human in general, but exposing ourselves out in the open won't be enough, not when he has guards to do his bidding."
"Remember, it's not just Belos we're dealing with, it's Mr. Universe too." Gus brought up.
"If a thousand palisman souls and the Rainbow Devil weren't enough to hold Belos back mentally, what makes you think Greg Universe can?" Hunter asked.
"Because they're divided on one thing…Rose Quartz." Gus grinned. "Mr. Universe still cares about her even though Belos hates her with the fury of a thousand suns.
"But is that gonna be enough for Mr Universe to move the body and break free of control?" Vee asked.
"Along with poking that hornet's nest, we can exploit everything else." Lucci said. "His hatred for me, his failed career, failed relationships, everything to throw into that bastards face how much of a fuck up he really is."
"Excuse me, I happened to overhear this…group, and I couldn't help but notice…are you trying to knock Mr. Universe down a peg?" The group turned around, seeing some lean, sleazy looking man with a leather jacket and shades.
"Yes … and then we fill him with holes!" Blitz shouted. "Or knives, whatever works on magic regenerators."
"I assume it was just fire." Moxie shrugged. "Like, lots and lots of fire."
"Ooh, has anyone got some acid to work with?" Mille squeaked.
"We have the Centipeetles, but we had to put them with the Rubies and hide them away before the Mayor went after them." Luz nodded. "....You're not going to report this to anyone, are you?"
"Before you answer that, please note that we're all okay with murder of any kind." Blitz held up a knife.
"Not all of us." Vee grumbled.
"No, no, no, I'm not going to report anyone….as long as any connections linking to me are disposed of." The man smirked. "The name's Marty. I used to be that ungrateful brat's manager, till he kicked me to the side of the road with nothing."
"So revenge?" Boscha asked.
"Percisely, the ass has it coming to him." He pulled out an envelope. "I was trying to be nice and give him this check for ten million dollars, but seeing as he's so above it now that he's mayor instead of a musician, I think we can find better use for it."
"Wait, this man was about to be financially compensated for his musical talents and rejectedit?" Moxie questioned, before taking the safety off his gun. "Okay, this idiot deserves to die for that alone."
"Only problem is that we can't use the money unless one of us just 'happens' to be Mr Universe." They said.
… Everyone turned to Vee. "Do I have to?"
"Well either you or Lucci, and we're not letting you near the fight anyway considering how easy it is for him to kill us at a moment's notice …" Luz trailed off.
"Fine…" Vee shifted into the man they were aiming to kill. "Oh look, me, Mr. Universe, I just so happen to be walking this way."
"...I'm just going to pretend any of this makes sense and not question anything else." The man shrugged, handing over the check.
"Sweet, ten million!" Lucci cheered. "And I know exactly how to use it. Yo, shades, you wouldn't happen to have stage equipment, do you?"
"Plenty." They answered.
"Then how about we put on a show." The boy grinned.
"Are we really going to going to this?" Willow grumbled. "I've had my fill of musical numbers in Hell."
"You got your fill, I gained inspiration." Clawthorne laughed. "We set the stage, putting on a huge show that calls the bastard out. And then right when he leasts expects it, bam! We hit him with the blue glyph; fill him with bullets while Luz uses the pink glyph to break him apart, burn the sludgy bastich to ash and celebrate till daybreak with fireworks made up of the sperm donors ashes!"
"Now this is a kid I can get behind!" The tall imp laughed, hugging Lucci. "Loonie, how are you up for a brother?"
"Do you just get off collecting and surrounding yourself with people as crazy as you?" The wolf questioned.
"No, it just fills me with joy. I get off on watching M and M sleep together."
"Sir! Not in front of the children!" Moxxie covered his ears.
"Right, not in front of your kid."
"Exa-satan Damn it!"
"He admitted it! We're finally becoming a full family!" Mille gripped hugged the small imp and him. "I can't wait to plan out the family vacations and game nights."
"Oh, like flyer derby?" Hunter asked. That seemed pretty fun.
=======================================================================
Lucci plugged up the guitar with a grin. "You never told me you were in a band waybright, I thought you were trying to bond with me?"
"You're the one who said music wasn't working in therapy." His therapist shrugged. "But yeah, I know how to kill it with a guitar. Kind of became a control freak, but I'm cool now."
"Drums are my jam personally." Marcy grinned.
"And I can rock a bass." Anne smirked, before it fell. "Still can't beat Grime."
"No one can beat Grime in music, that's an unrealistic dream."
"Awesome, now that leaves me with my second favorite instrument to play…electric keytar!" Lucci cackled as he played a rift. "Everyone get caught up on the music sheets I made?"
"It astonishes me that you were able to cook up a song this fast." Sasha looked over the notes.
"Music's in my soul … and apparently blood, but mostly soul." He shrugged. "The gems are keeping the cops from immediately shutting it down, right?"
"Amethyst and Lapis are throwing them all in trash cans, and Spinel's clumping them all up into a ball." Vee sighed. "Why couldn't we just solve the problem with music alone?"
"Because then we'd live in a world too perfect for anyone to survive." Lucci agreed. "Luz, how we doing on that blue glyph trap?"
"Just about done.." Luz said as she used a knife to carve it into a spotlight. "If I'm right, we should be able to inflict emotions into anyone we shine this on." The girl raised a thumbs up. "I tried to test it on myself to make sure, but Amity just dragged me away."
"If yah need a Guinea pig, mox-mox is always ready to volunteer." Blitz slapped the smaller imp on the back.
"Sir, can you choose anyone else other than me?" They asked in an exhausted tone.
"Well Loonie's off limits and Mills would shank me if I tried getting close." They shrugged.
"Oh my god we're friends with demons." Marcy muttered with sparkly eyes. "Are we in heaven right now?"
"Marcy…think about what you're saying and the implications that leads to." Anne said with a dry tone.
"Can't shoot Lucci or the adults because they need to focus, so eenie, meanie, minie, sorry Marty, it's you." Luz turned the light to the guy, who was talking on the phone with his back turned to them.
"Wait, I just got you the stuff, leave me out of whatever voo doo shit you have goin on-aaaaaaaaaaaggghgggh!" The man fell to the ground clenching his head in pain. "No, it's all my fault! I don't deserve to live anymore! Everything I do is garbage and I'm not worth shit to anyone!" They jumped into the ocean … and didn't come back up.
"Pffft, baby." Blitz rolled his eyes. "Sure; all of us think about killing ourselves, but you don't actually go through it. What a wuss. He won't last five minutes in hell."
"... Well we already have the equipment." Lucci shrugged. "Lets rock on!"
"...Did we just drive a man to suicide?" Anne asked fearfully.
"Ignore it, not the worst thing we've done." Boscha waved it off. "We have a plan to go through."
"Luz; I'm tripling your session length; and giving you a prescription of a hundred hugs a day." Sasha said seriously.
"Oh come on! We have WAY more important stuff than my mental health!" Lucci has seen the inside of her head, no they did not.
"Enough psychology, when are we fitting this sonuvabitch?!" Millie raised her hand with a knife oozing blood he would not question where she got the source of.
"In a minute." Lucci looked at the audience, and sure enough, they had a full crowd. "IMP, you wait for the signal to open fire. Luz, you get the blue glyph ready. Everyone else; the moment Belos feels agony, you get out from underneath the stage and make that pink glyph."
"Are you gonna play or what!?" A woman from the crowd shouted. Boscha responded with a vial to the woman's face, knocking her out.
"He plays when he's ready, stop nagging!" His angel growled, before kissing his face all over. "Knock them dead, crystal."
"It's like watching our first date." Moxxie said fondly.
"Yeah … except you were the one defendin my honor." Millie smirked as they went up top.
"Whoa, whoa, Moxxie's balls were still intact when you two started banging?" Blitz looked at the couple curiously. "Tell me more."
Lucci rolled his eyes as he began playing. They needed to get this plan rolling before they lost their shot… and the show must go on. "Hello Gravesfield! Some of you may know me by Steven Universe, son of chronic alcoholic and professional beach bum Greg Universe, but in truth, that's never been my name at all!"
The crowd began murmuring with confusion. Good, they were listening. "In actuality, the bastard you all suddenly decided you wanted to place in charge of your homes, safety, and families, lost me in a snow storm when I was just a baby! Barely a few months old and abandoned like trash!"
"Did he hit his head or something?"
"I watched him play around when he was four."
"Should we call a doctor?" The audience was confused as heck but Belos would definitely hear this; and so would his sperm donor.
"The truth is that you're all falling for a facade, a mask of a bastardized man that barely has his life together, not that he has much of a life to begin with!" He laughed as he played a rift. "So in celebration of this triumphant week, I dedicate this song to all of you, and to my sperm donor, Greg Universe, for all the love he did not give me!" He signaled for the adults to start the beat. "We are the Calamity Quartet!" He let the guitar solo take its place as he went up to the mike and took a deep breath.
"Everybody is your enemy, Say that they are wish they wish they could be!" He sang a faster paced song than his usual jam, but the energy of the other girls playing was really getting to him. "Tell me pretty lies so you can get all that you want from me!" Every single problem just adding up as redemption attempt after redemption attempt failed.
"If I'm wrong, I don't wanna be right! My future's not for you to decide!" This world would not be his life. He wouldn't let it change who he was inside. "I ain't gonna let you tell me how I ought to live my life!" Just free to run as he pleased.
"Hidden behind a false facade … Everyone's the reaper." Enemies who acted nice, just like Mom taught him. "You'll never break my poker face …"His REAL parent, who gave him every skill he needed in life. "Now or never….::!"
He jumped in the air as Marcy hit the drum solo. For a nerdy girl, she knew how to pound a drum. "I'm the one…..I'll stand against the tyranny we face..." Whether Belos or Homeworld, he would stand against them. "Ignite a spark of revolution now…" Just fight back you morons! "And I don't care if there's no reason why … If it's what you believe, that's all you need!"
He continued rocking out as the crowd began cheering. Cheers that his sperm donor would never have. Cheers he would relish for the rest of his life. "So ride the high! I'll speak my mind!" He would say what needs to be said. "When no one else would take a chance!" Even when they called him evil, or insane, he would do what needs to be done. "I say it's time to make a change! Don't look away! I'm rebuilding everything right here today!"
He saw off in the distance, seeing the body of his sperm donor, and his face looked pissed off. Good, just keep coming bastard. Push through Belos's pragmatism and try to stab him.
"Noisy people living noisy lives." Just putting their noses where they didn't belong. "Silent people telling more easy lies." So many secrets that drove them all wild. "Everyone around you always thinking that they've gotta be right." All those opinions crashing down.
"No one listens to the voice of the few, No one ever wants to learn something new." Humans kept refusing change. "Done with all the bullshit and pretending that I care…" He could accept some good things out of this world, but he would never love it. "Cause I could try again, but you would not listen to me, would you!?" No matter how much he had to spell it out for Pearl and his sperm donor; they never listened to him.
"Don't wait or we'll leave you behind. No one else is gonna fight for you." Just their own problems, deal with them on their own. "And if nobody hears what you say. Don't think twice, there must be something you can do...." It didn't matter what others said, they'd do it their own way, consequences be damned.
He glanced at his sperm donor, flipping him off as the bastard walked closer. Just a few more verses and he'll be right where they need him to be. "I am here…..for everyone who always fell in line, I say….that you are free to live your life…" Luz should be free to live the life that she wanted. There was doing right by your family, and then doing right by yourself. "And don't let others tell you who to be." He wasn't this way because he was told to….but because it was what he loved to do. "If it's what you believe, that's all you need….!"
"So ride…..the high! I'll speak my mind!" He would say whatever he wanted to say. So WHAT if they brought Belos and Peridot to earth, it would work out in the end. "When no one else would take a chance!" Far as he knew, the crystal gems were too scared to make actual progress. Without him and the others, they would've never known about the cluster. Without him, Spinel would've stayed stuck in that withered garden until the universe exploded. "I say it's time to make a change! Don't look away, I'm rebuilding everything right here today!" He was confident in his choices, he wouldn't think once about regretting them.
The bastard was getting on the stage, walking up to him. That's it, keep coming asshole. "I'm rising up, even if no one remembers my name!" The man was raising his hand. "Don't look away…I'm revealing everything right here today...…!" He tossed his keytar into the air as the crowd cheered. "NOW LUZ!"
She jumped forward. "Eat Glyph!" She threw it on, the man, forcing him to scream … before hitting Luz in the stomach hard enough to launch her through a wall.
"YOU UTTER BASTARDS!" A catastrophe of voices screamed from within the man. "SO MUCH PAIN TOO MUCH EXISTENCE IS CRUELITY!"
"AAHHHHH! THE MAYOR'S A MONSTER!" The crowd shouted as more of Belos's slimy form became known, crawling all over his sperm donor's skin in a very painful looking manner.
"No, no, that's not,l it's just a trick GET OUT OF MY HEAD SO MUCH AGONY!" All the voices inside of Belos were calling out at once as the man winced all over in pain, trying to get a hold of himself.
"IMP, that's your cue! Fill the bastard with lead!" Lucci shouted.
"Doin it!" Blitz started firing off a shotgun with Moxie … before they were both hit by a tendril of sludge, one of which grabbed Blitz and began strangling him. "Oh come on! No one told me we were dealing with tentacles! I would've brought out the expensive lube!"
"I got him!" Millie ran forward and stabbed the man … before being stabbed herself. "Oh shit."
"DEMONIC SCUM!" He began wailing on IMP. "I WILL DRAG YOU BACK TO HELL MYSELF!".
"Good, because I got a spidery friend that might be a little more into the inky gooey shtick you're going for." ….Somehow Lucci figured even mom would try to clean Blitz's mouth out with soap, and he barely understood what they were saying.
=======================================================================
Luz groaned as she got out of the hole in the wall … watching as the team, once again, was decimated. Belos just ignored everything thrown at him while screaming in multiple voices, crying and raging at the same time. He was pretty focused on IMP and Lucci in particular, which was a problem since Lucci was their healer.
"Just screw off!" Anne shouted as she stabbed him. "You're nothing but an outdated relic! Monsters can be just as friendly as humans!" And then was quickly launched into the screaming audience.
"ANOTHER CORRUPTED HUMAN! SO MUCH ANARCHY AND RUIN AMONG OUR KIND!!" Hm…in hindsight she was aiming to make Belos unstable. She sort of forgot what that would mean for the other three voices in his head. "I WILL CLEANSE THIS TOWN, EVEN IF I HAVE TO PAINT IT RED PAIN PAIN, END ALL THE NEEDLESS PAIN!"
Plus side, he wasn't using artificial magic, so small victories. Not only that, He wasn't even paying attention to her, so that meant the plan was still on track. "Amity, are you doing good in your position?" She spoke into her walkie talkie.
"I have my pink glyph ready, as do the others. Do we have an opening?"
"Not quite." Luz noted as Sasha leapt over the sludgy man and ran her swords into his neck. "The band and IMP have him distracted, but his insanity is making it hard to get close. Going to need more cover before attempting the split."
"Willow, can you try pinning him with a tree?" Amity asked.
"No, don't do that." Hunter replied quickly. "He already got this strong from two humans, and two gems. Do you really want to see what happens if he eats a forest?" Damn it, she hated dealing with power absorbers. Made it tricky to know who they could throw at them.
"Anyone got word on where the gems are?" Luz asked as Marcy was thrown into her drumset.
"Dealing with the police, but since the crowd's running away, they're on their way." Gus said. "So about two minutes before we can get that opening."
"I can handle two minutes." Luz pulled out her sword and changed in. "So, your whole mayoral debut is going to take a bit of a back turn after today. I mean, a monster in the office that hates monsters…not a good look for you."
"SHUT UP!" They swung hammers around. "JUST SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY!"
"Hey, don't be hatin on the little tot just because you can't handle your own bullshit." Millie smirked as she dropped a spotlight on the man. "If you're going to spit it out, you might as well eat it when it comes back.
"You scum act as if you had ANY right to say anything!" They shouted, sending out hammers as the scaffolding began crashing around them.
"We know we don't, that's why we don't even bother having the moral high ground, unlike your pretentious ass." Blitz danced around the rubble as Anne threw him in close, getting off six shots from his musket up close. "You just got to do you, if you're a hideous slimy hentai monster, then just embrace it and all the erotic implications. Trust me, your life will be much better if you do."
"GGRRAAAA!!" Luz wasn't sure if it was the anger or degrading sanity, but that roar was just too animalistic for normal Belos as it tried to rip Blitz's head off.
"You see, this is why I like demons more than humans; they're less hypocritical." Lucci smirked as he bubbled a piece of Belos's arm off and tossed it to Loona, who kicked it right back into the bastard's chest, leaving a giant hole in his torso. "And they can kick serious ass when it counts."
"It's always you!" They stomped Lucci hard enough to send him through the ground. "It's always you and your bitch of a mother! EITHER OF THEM!!"
"Is that Belos talking, or Mr. Universe?" Luz smirked. "Because if it's the latter, then you probably didn't love her as much as you think you did. I mean, if I had met an amazonian alien queen, you bet I'd want her to be my girlfriend, but was that all she was to you? Just a side piece for you to brag about to your drinking buddies?"
And she was rewarded for that snide comment with a massive blade nearly decapitating her. "SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!!"
"Oh, girl hit a nerve, didn't she, Mr. Universe?" Sasha laughed as she stabbed him in the back. "Camila talked about you alot. She found you sweet, but so self centered, and a total slacker. That's why she never told you about the baby."
And Belos reached out a tentacle and began squeezing. "If it wasn't for Clawthorne's healing, I'd focus more on ending you right here and-"
"BOOOOIIIING!" A giant Pink fisted slammed Belos through the stage, breaking it in half. "I win at whack the sludge!" Spinel cheered.
"Finally." Lucci groaned as he got up. "Get ready, it's gonna be tough."
"We're aware, and we don't care!" Lapis held up multiple spears of water … before a green sludgy spear was lodged through her stomach. "... Well, it was bound … to be me eventu-"
Poof.
"IT SEEMS YOU THINK I DON'T LEARN!" They tackled Spinel. "ALLOW ME TO CORRECT THAT!!"
"You're the one that doesn't learn, Belos!" Garnet ripped him off, and repeatedly pounded the muck man at a rapid pace. "The fact you're also Greg just makes me even less guilty about hurting you!"
Their response was to envelop around the punches, trying to absorb Garnet … giving Luz an opening. "Oh no you don't!" Luz pulled out her glyph and slammed it on Belos. "Everyone, slam it all on him now!"
"AGGGGGGH!" Amity, Willow, Connie, Hunter, Boscha and Gus all came out of their hiding spot and slammed each other's glyphs on top of Belos, mixing it all up in the sledge that was becoming his body.
"Ghanhsdenahwehewnwxhw." Their body distorted rapidly, sparking all over.
"This will all be over soon, Greg." Pearl said as she stabbed the man in the back. "It will all be over for you soo-"
FAWOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH
Multiple rocks fell from Belos's body … rainbow colored shards … did she … did she shatter-
"AGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" A grayish pink light overcame Pearl as she fell back, the body of Belos shrinking down as Pearl's body glowed brightly all over.
"... What just happened?" Marcy asked as she took a breath.
"Dunno …how many glyphs were activated at once?" Lucci asked, his body slowly fixing itself as she could almost hear broken bones snap back into place.
"Well with the seven pink glyphs we used on him all at once, and the blue glyph we used earlier….about….eight." Luz answered. Probably making his body a disaster. "I think I shattered Bismuth …" Not that she regretted it, it was Bismuth, but …
They watched as Pearl rolled around on the ground, groaning as her eyes looked like rainbows. "What … who are … Bismuth!?" She shouted. "What the … I will not serve 'Lord Belos'!" Pearl screamed into the air.
"....Luz, I think you shoved Bismuth's brain out of Belos and into Pearl." Lucci winced. Note to self … do not mix seven to eight glyphs at once.
"... Anyone get Peridot?" Hunter asked after a moment of processing.
"Nope. Clear as ever." Garnet nodded.
"Still single." Amethyst clarified.
"Only the voices that were there before." Spinel shrugged.
"You….you…." They all turned around to see Belos…or most so…Greg universe, his body breaking as the sludge was falling off.
"Oh sweet, you split." Lucci grinned as he covered the sludge in a bubble. "Garnet, start heating it up, I'll keep it contained. Luz, warm up my sperm donor for the end."
"Alright. For once I have no moral objections to this." Luz nodded as she went up to the broken and beaten man…and hit him across the face. "Do you have ANY idea what kind of stress you put on my mom!? Not only did you knock her up, you tried to drag her down with you, and then you threatened her!"
"I …"
"Shut up!" Luz kicked his stomach. "She is suffering so much, and it's your fault!" Mostly Luz's for starting this whole mess, but Greg deserved some blame. Especially when it was clear he wasn't even trying to fight Belos. "You willingly worked with a monster, and you threatened her, you attacked your own son, and you still continue to be a dick to Vee!"
"Yeah, take from us, literal demons from hell." Blitz said as he shot from a distance, shooting Greg in the kneecaps. "We're monsters, and even we can't stand the sight of a shitty dad."
Luz turned to watch as Lucci, Garnet, Amity, and Amethyst continued to cook up Belos inside of a contained bubble, doing his best to struggle out of it. "So, are we burning him alive or what?"
"Not until we can be sure that we can eliminate every last trace of him." Garnet said. "We're going to be scouring every inch of the town until we know for sure there's no remains of him."
"So wait, you think he can just store up backups?" Gus asked. "By that logic it'd take destroying the earth to get rid of him."
"I don't think that's the case, but he was able to survive by the bare minimum trace the last two times." Amity said. "But we are keeping that bubble over the boiling room, right?"
"Floating on a pool of lava, yes." Garnet nodded.
"So … we're free to kill off Greg now?" Lucci asked. "Nobody's going to stop me for a bullshit reason?"
"I don't see anyone stopping you." Luz turned to everyone else. "Anyone have any objections here?"
"Nope." Willow said.
"None." Hunter nodded.
"We're good." Amity shrugged.
"Killing a sperm donor….brings back memories." Blitz wiped his eyes.
"Good …" Lucci pulled out a razor disk. "Say goodbye, Greg Universe, your time of screwing us over is DONE!"
"WAAAAIIITT! Stop everything!" Vee's voice cried out before Lucci could throw.
"OH COME ON!" Lucci groaned. "What is more important than killing this bastard, the guy that's screwed us both over, you especially Vee!?"
"Camila went into labor!" She WHAT!?
"What do you mean!? We barely hit the four month mark!" Luz yelled.
"I don't know, it just started early!" Oh god, the baby was probably going to be really deformed and everything. The stress must have caused problems and now the baby was do-"
"What does labor have to do with anything?" Lucci scratched his head in confusion.
"My mom's baby, our little sibling…it's coming EARLY!" She shook his body.
"Don't worry, I have my mom on speed dial!" Connie took it out. "We can get to the hospital lickity split and have her be ready."
"We don't need a hospital, we need to get her to the tree!" Lucci shouted.
"NOT THE TIME FOR BULLSHIT LUCCI!" Luz slapped his face, even though it made her hand flare red. "Come on, your spit is probably going to be the only way they come out healthy!"
"Then come on, we need to go!" He jumped on Sugar. "Just point the way and we'll fly there, it's probably faster!" So many risks today, so many problems.