'Fuck!' I threw the book down next to me and stared at my hands.
'What is this bullshit? This is a damned joke right? Two years and I haven't even seen a glimpse of fucking mana! There hasn't been a single damn twinkle in TWO FUCKING YEARS!!'
I got down from my bed and calmly went over to the small bookshelf in my room, placing the book in its section. I looked outside and could only sigh at the glare of the sun.
*pap* *pap* *pap*
"I won't be going out anytime soon." I turned around to sit back on my bed and my dad appeared in my doorway.
"Coming to the store with me?" He asked in a rush as he put on his shoes.
"Nah, I'll stay home. It's pretty hot out right now."
"Alright, I'll be back."
And he left the house.
Once he was gone, I glanced to my right and saw the full body mirror my dad bought me to see the progress of my physique. Looking at myself, reminding me a lot of my old life.
I was about 4ft tall, kinda chubby with some muscle. Overall I did look good.
However, every time I looked into my own eyes, they seemed so dead. I wore the same expression as I had always worn back in my past life. I guess you could say…I give up.
I had thought that if I was able to make a Mana Core, then I'd be able to accomplish things for myself and actually stand on my own two feet at some point.
'For two years I did meditation and I couldn't even get a little fucking glimmer of mana!? Fuck it then, I'll just do regular shit, leading another regular life in a magical world!'
As much as I wanted to flip my room upside down, I couldn't show any frustration within the household.
I get a nice place to live with my own space at this age.
I get to eat good food literally everyday and every meal is a big one.
They never force me into trying something new and simply allowed me to grow.
There was just nothing I had to be frustrated about. This was a peaceful household and that was great. It's just…now I feel complacent.
Wrapping my hair into a messy ponytail, I jumped back on my bed and picked up a spinning top, twirling it along a board.
'Man I wish I had a phone.' I sighed. I honestly didn't like going outside much since there was so much crime and stuff going on in my past life. I guess it created this home bound version of myself.
Rather, I liked being outside when it's just me or so little people that they're irrelevant. That barely happens here and lately it seems like there's been more activity outside.
More people going through the gate and lots of cargo being brought over in crates, although where they ended up was a mistery for me.
'Why am I even focused on that?' I needed something to do. In this world of no internet or form of social media, I was the only one here that didn't like having nothing to do.
With nothing to do, I found myself going back into meditation. Simply begging for a different result.
I thought hard and long about an attractive force within myself. Anything to pull the mana together! Hoping that something would simply appear out of the depths of my soul, but there was nothing.
It was useless. I then got up and left my room, going into the kitchen to grab a snack. It wasn't long before I heard my mother walking through the hall and towards the kitchen as well.
"Yuji, were you going to run around the backyard again?" Jhena asked as she grabbed a jar of cookies and ate from the jar.
"Yeah, I was just about to go back there."
"Don't overdo it! Tomorrow we were thinking about going on a picnic, since it's been a while since the last time we've been on one."
"That sounds nice, I just hope it isn't so hot out tomorrow." I spoke, eating the apple in my hand.
Just as I was about to leave, my dad walked through the front door with some peppers and other vegetables in a bag.
"I got the stuff we needed, but I didn't see any gother oil. We can just substitute it though." He reasoned, sitting the bag on the kitchen counter.
"You going out back?"
"Mhm."
"Cool."
....
As the sun began to set on another day, Jhena and Andrew cooked inside the kitchen. Andrew smeared butter over the chops and covered them in a variety of spices.
After repeating the process with a few more, he turned around and lightly sighed as he watched Jhena zoning out at Ryuji.
"Babe, c'mon, let's finish the food." Andrew persuaded as he moved the chops into a deep dish pan.
"Look at him, Andrew. You don't think something's wrong?" Jhene worried.
"He clearly has something on his mind." She added.
Andrew sighed and scratched the back of his head. "We both know what this is about. Even though I can't sense mana anymore, it's clear he doesn't have talent with it and he's just downhearted." Andrew lulled as he also watched Ryuji sprint.
Jhena turned her head and went further into the kitchen, past the corner leading to the backdoor and window.
"Why doesn't he tell us though~? Sometimes, it's like he's already lived a long life and we have nothing to teach him! I just want to know what he thinks!"
Watching his wife look so disheartened, Andrew hugged her tightly.
"Jhena, you're the most perfect mother and wife we could ask for. You make amazing food every day, you handle a lot of the house cleaning and your the sweetest woman I know. Ryuji has always seemed mature, so he's probably just having his own troubles he think we wouldn't understand. He'll open up about it at some point." He said, looking down at Jhene's face in his chest.
Looking at her with a smirk, he lowered himself to see Jhene's face.
"You're blushing so hard from that~?" He teased, giving her a kiss on her cheek.
"Let's finish the food." He added as be turned to prep some more chops.
"Mm." Jhene hummed timidly as she went back to chopping peppers, onions and garlic.
As Andrew cooked, he took a peek over his shoulder and out the back window.
'What are you yearning for so bad?' He wondered, as he watched his son gasping for air.
…
The following day, I got up at dawn and threw on some black, baggy gi pants and a white, sleeveless shirt. The form of attire looked Asian, but my dad said it was from elven culture.
I tied my front locs into a ponytail and left my room, going to the kitchen to make a quick sandwich.
"Oh, you joining me again dad?" I casually asked as I used a stool to prepare my sandwich on the counter. All of the ingredients were already out.
He scarfed down his sandwich before answering. "Yeah, it's been a while, so I thought I'd get out there." He hummed as I filled my water pouch.
'He says it's been a while, but it's actually been about 2 months. It could be age getting to him though.' I looked at the thick, beard and mustache he had.
He rubbed his chin and teasingly told me, "you'll get there one day." I could only sigh.
I put all of the food up and went outside with dad following me. The air was a bit humid, there was a slight breeze as the sky was barely lit up from the sun coming from the horizon.
I did a bit of tweaking to my training as I was beginning to be able to do my workouts for way longer as the years progressed.
Firstly, I would do the regular stretches and sit down to meditate. Of course, I got the usual results, even with guided breathing like my mother suggested.
After being like that for an hour, I got up to my feet, stretched once more and got ready to begin my sprinting.
I could see my dad performing simple pushups beside me, but I switched my focus back to my own training.
I had to say, even though I didn't have mana, my body was quite strange.
"Hmph!" I kicked off the ground and sped through laps as if they were nothing. The backyard was maybe about 30 yards all around and I was already coming up on lap 10 within a minute.
My body was different.
It was incredible really. My speed, my stamina and all of my muscles were simply better. It was like I had the super soldier serum running through my blood.
My eyesight was incredible, I could see things hiding behind thick leaves and in bushes.
I was able to comprehend things scarcely fast. Honestly, I knew about that since I was actually able to learn this world's alphabet within a month of continuous studying.
'By all means, my body wasn't regular at all. At least not how I knew it.' Sweat dripped down my face and arms as the sun was now higher in the sky and it was getting hotter.
I sprinted for 30 laps in 3 minutes before I started to huff for air, but that was still beyond anything normal for me.
This was one thing I liked about this world. Even the casual stuff isn't casual for me. Yeah, everyone might be able to do what I'm doing since the people here are naturally stronger thanks to mana being in the atmosphere, but it's new to me.
I took a swig of water from the pouch I filled up and exhaled sharply. It took me literally a minute or so just to shake my exhaustion and I'd be ready to do it again.
'Every time I workout, I get some happiness from being able to do this stuff.' While enjoying myself, I got that weird feeling when you're being stared at and I turned my head towards my dad. His expression was blank as he looked at me.
"Dad?" I said questioningly.
He shook his head and blinked at me, before getting closer.
"Ryuji, how have you been feeling lately?" He asked with a serious expression.
"Uh…fine. Not any different or anything. Why?"
"Have you felt like your body was on fire? Got any fevering? Huge headaches?" As I tried to get my answer out, he suddenly grabbed at my shirt trying to pull it up and I reflexively grabbed his hand, pushing away from him.
He froze in place and sighed.
"Ryuji, did you know I also don't have a mana core?"