The Void, a wasteland.
A barren world where even the sun in the sky seemed dim.
In an abandoned parking lot, yellow sand whipped through the air. Charlie shook his head, carefully straightening the Spider emblem on his chest, skewed by spatial energy.
"Close call. The righteous Spider-Man almost turned into an evil Spider-Man."
He grinned, gently patting the emblem, then scanned his surroundings.
After the windstorm, silence reigned.
This was a discarded world, the Time Variance Authority's garbage dump, where variants of any character could appear.
Including Spider-Men.
And… Spider-Men's enemies.
BOOM~
In the overcast sky, a green streak blazed toward him.
A monstrous figure in tattered armor hovered above Charlie, hunched over and roaring with rage.
"Gah gah gah, Peter, I finally found you. I knew you'd end up here someday."
The pustule-covered Harry tilted his head, sneering, his sparse hair making him look like a wretched old monster, eyes brimming with hatred for Spider-Man.
Charlie glanced up, shrugging. "Sorry, you've got the wrong guy. I know you won't believe me, but I'm not taking off my mask to prove it. You're too ugly right now. I need my suit's built-in system to slap a filter on you, or I'll puke up last night's super beef burger. That'd be such a waste—"
Before Charlie could finish his ramble, Dark Harry snapped, cursing as he hurled pumpkin bombs at him.
"Shut up and die!"
BOOM!!
CRASH~~
Pumpkin bombs rained down, the parking lot erupting in explosions, flames raging. A red-and-blue figure parkoured through, dodging the blasts, then shot a spatial web to swing upward.
Whoosh~
Swish~
The long-missed thrill of web-swinging sent a rush through Charlie. He fired another web, his body launching like a cannonball from a web-slingshot, crashing into Dark Harry midair.
BANG!!
BOOM!!
At the parking lot's edge, flames burst. Harry, spitting green blood, rose with a manic laugh. "Hahaha, Peter, you're finally going all out. This is your true power. I knew it. I knew Spider-Man could save everyone, including me.
But Peter, why did you reject me? All I wanted was a little of your blood. I begged on my knees, but you refused. You're too selfish."
Limping out of the fire, Dark Harry let the flames sear his sparse hair.
"Wow, you're a flaming head now."
Charlie covered his mouth in mock surprise, then continued, "Sorry, I'm not interested in your story, but someone else might be."
He drew a circle with one hand, yanking Superior Peter through a portal.
"This guy's yours. Have a nice chat."
Charlie patted Superior Peter's shoulder and stepped through the portal, vanishing.
Superior Peter, bewildered, locked eyes with Dark Harry and froze.
"Harry… no, you're dead…"
He stepped back instinctively, while Dark Harry seemed to realize something.
"You're the Peter I know, right?"
Dark Harry sneered, tilting his head. "Good. In your heart, I'm dead. In mine, you're dead too.
Hahaha, no, it's not just us. There's Gwen."
At the mention of Gwen, Superior Peter flashed back to that moment.
He'd been told by more than one Spider-Man that webs couldn't save people.
But back then, he didn't know.
Even though Gwen had been saved once by the invincible Spider-Man, she died soon after in an accident.
That time, he spared Harry, sending him to an asylum.
His selfishness killed Uncle Ben. His soft heart killed Gwen and his best friend.
Superior Peter stared at Harry, slowly removing his mask.
"My friend, I'm glad to see you here. I have no family left."
"Same here!"
Dark Harry bared grotesque teeth. "So come on, one last time. Let's end this."
Superior Peter took a deep breath, his hesitation fading.
"Alright. It's the only thing I can do for you. I'll try… to let you rest."
…
Meanwhile, Charlie stepped through a portal into a lush green prairie.
Inhale~
Facing scenery completely unlike the wasteland, Charlie spread his arms and breathed deeply.
"No idea what those guys are up to, but this is a rare vacation. Wonder if there's a horse-wrangling cowboy around…"
As he spoke, excited shouts from the distance made him shudder.
"Hey!! Little Spider, it's me! I'm here!!"
Charlie turned to see a red figure waving wildly, charging toward him like a creepy dude spotting a pretty girl.
"Oh, crap~"
Charlie covered his face. How did he run into this guy everywhere?
The red figure rushed up, and Charlie slapped him, sending him into a full 360-degree midair spin before landing face-first.
BANG~
Wade, eating dirt, propped himself up, still kneeling. "Why hit me? Have you forgotten? I'm your best friend, the only one." His eyes welled with tears.
Charlie wiped his hand on the grass, nonchalant. "Yeah, I forgot."
"No way! I'm your little Deadpool! How could you forget? You can't!" Wade clutched his face, screaming, then hugged Charlie's leg, sobbing. "Please, don't forget me. The Avengers rejected me. I'm so miserable. I need comfort…"
Charlie yanked his leg free and kicked Wade away. "Enough with the reunion drama. How'd you end up here?"
"Oh."
Wade wiped nonexistent tears and stood, brushing dirt off his knees.
"I revived in another universe and lost your world's coordinates. So, bored out of my mind, I started wandering, taking odd jobs, enjoying life. Oh, and I tried non-superhero stuff. I loved being an insurance salesman. But if the Avengers let me join, I'd love that more…"
He clenched his fists, snarling, "If I find out who banned Deadpool from the Avengers, I'll show them what cruel means."
Charlie silently looked up.
"Nice weather today."
"Yeah, that's how I spotted you from so far."
"You sure you weren't stalking me?"
"No way! I just noticed some Spider-Men popping up here and guessed you were around."
"You still haven't said how you got here."
"I'm on a world-saving mission."
"Some guy in a suit sent you?"
"Nope, I insisted on coming."
"Alright, how's the mission going?"
"Just started."
"Good luck."
They walked and talked, soon spotting others on a nearby hill.
"NPCs this proactive now?"
Charlie blinked at the waiting convoy of off-road vehicles.
Wade rubbed his chin. "Seems like some old friends are in there."
"I see them."
Charlie waved at the group. "Hey, cotton-pickers, need any help?"
At that, the white-haired old man posing against the car hood nearly stumbled.
"Rude bug."
White-haired Nick Fury cursed under his breath, then turned to Charlie.
"Hey, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, get over here," he shouted.
Charlie and Wade exchanged a glance, stopping in sync.
"You come here," Wade called.
White-haired Nick: "…"
He glanced at Natasha and the others, exasperated.
They knew what happened when Spider-Man and Deadpool teamed up.
But to survive and find a way out, they had to play along.
White-haired Nick and the others drove to Charlie's position.
As they got out, Charlie scanned the group.
An aged Nick Fury, a still-stunning but pregnant-looking Natasha, a one-armed Barton, and a blind Dr. Banner.
A weird lineup told Charlie they hadn't had it easy.
His gaze landed on big-bellied Natasha. "How many months?" he asked.
Natasha facepalmed, embarrassed. "You're overthinking it. Just indigestion."
"She steals food a lot," one-armed Barton explained.
Charlie: "…"
"I get it, I get it."
His knowing look made Natasha even more helpless.
She sighed. "So, Spider-Man, you seem familiar with us. Are you the Peter we know?"
Charlie shook his head. "Nope, I'm not Peter. I'm Charlie, Charlie Parker. The invincible Spider-Man, that's me."
He leaned toward Wade. "I didn't take off my mask earlier. How'd you know it was me?"
Wade shrugged. "A man's sixth sense. Never wrong."
"Oh, well, I'm different. I've only got spider-sense, no sixth sense."
Charlie turned to White-haired Nick. "Since we're here, tell me about this place."
He didn't know much about the Void.
Because he'd watched the pirated, cut version of the movie.
Yup, the free kind.
As White-haired Nick opened his mouth, the prairie sky darkened. A black storm in the distance opened blood-red eyes, the entire world trembling.
"Crap, that thing's here!"
White-haired Nick and the others paled, scrambling into the cars, shouting at Charlie, "Get in! No time to explain. No skyscrapers here for web-swinging."
"Get in?"
Charlie eyed their vehicles with disdain. "I usually ride a Quinjet."
Still, he got in.
Sitting next to blind Banner, he asked, "Hey, do you still, uh, react when you watch stuff at night?"
Blind Banner thought for a moment. "I can only listen."
"You actually watch?" Charlie's tone was incredulous. "You're a doctor!"
Blind Banner: "…"
Crap, he'd given himself away.
He buried his head in his coat as the bumpy vehicle sped into a mountain base behind the hill, narrowly escaping the storm monster.
Outside the camouflaged base door, Wade shouted, "Wait for me! I'm not in yet!!"
White-haired Nick glanced at the rearview mirror. "Natasha, let him in."
"Got it."
Natasha hit a button, and a half-meter-wide doggy door appeared in the mountain.
Wade: "…"
He glanced at the storm monster behind him, then dove butt-first into the doggy door.
"Thanks, you guys get me. You know I love crawling into dark, deep holes—"
Muttering as he crawled through the tunnel, Wade stood, only to see a large hand extended toward him.
"You okay?"
A magnetic voice made Wade look up slowly. A steady face entered his view.
Despite the dirt and grime, the familiar features sent a thrill through him.
"Oh my gosh, it's young Cap! Steve Rogers, I finally found you—"
He heard the familiar Avengers BGM.
Excited, he grabbed the hand, and "Steve" smiled.
"It's dangerous here. I'll get you out."
"Great, but I thought you didn't—"
"You're right. I'm an Avenger… Human Torch!"
Instantly, "Steve" roared, flames surging as he dragged Wade through the tunnel like a fiery snake.
The flames burned off Wade's mask.
In the firelight, his smile froze. "Motherf— I knew it."
Soon, inside the mountain base.
Whoosh~
The crude base shook, stones occasionally falling from the ceiling.
Tap~
Under dim lights, a stone hit the table, brushed aside by a charred hand.
Wade set a mirror down, peeling carbonized skin from his face.
Human Torch, embarrassed, said, "Sorry, I thought your suit was fireproof."
Wade, tearing off a chunk of flesh, grinned. "No worries. I thought you were Cap. We're even."
Human Torch blinked, confused. "Captain?"
He looked at White-haired Nick, who was equally puzzled.
"Don't look at me. I'm the director, not the captain."
Charlie spoke up. "Doesn't matter. What's with this stuff?" He pointed at a pile of flashy adult products in the corner, his expression odd.
"Mine," Human Torch said proudly. "I traded my top-notch skills for supplies we needed. It's my proudest moment."
He turned, eyes teary. "Spider-Man, no need to admire me. It's a small thing. Sure, that guy's a dark, short-limbed creep, a nutcase pumped full of laxatives, but for my team, I'd give anything. One day, I'll take her down in this godforsaken place, then desecrate her corpse and stuff Juggernaut's walnuts in—"
Human Torch's curses grew venomous. Behind him, Charlie and Wade sat at the table, chins propped, listening quietly.
After a while, Human Torch finished his rant.
Wade nodded. "Confirmed. He's the captain."
Charlie pocketed his video recording. "Yup, Honey-Tongued Captain."