When Leon arrived at the scene, the battle was at its most intense.
Coulson, true to his reputation as someone even the goddess of death couldn't claim, was still alive.
That massive rock had missed him by a hair.
It didn't hit!
Leon landed beside Coulson and said, "Hey! Been a while, missed me? Need a hand with anything?"
Coulson hadn't originally planned to call Leon over; Leon was a notorious money-grubber, and Coulson's former boss, that cheapskate Nick Fury, was a real miser and a master of penny-pinching. Getting any cash out of Fury was near impossible.
The last time in the desert was a special case; Coulson had submitted a report on a whim.
Fury, also on a whim, had tried out a new mode of operation.
This time was different though—Iron Monger was practically in his face, and there was no time to file a report.
So, this call for backup was entirely Coulson's own doing.
Which means... Leon might not get paid.
Of course, Leon didn't know this yet. He was still joking around with Coulson.
"I say, Mr. Coulson~ Have you been demoted? Why no henchmen with you? Out here on a solo night shift?"
Reloading his magazine, Coulson responded while loading bullets, "I haven't been demoted. My team was taken out by that giant tin can. I need you to help evacuate the civilians. Too many people have died already. We can't afford more casualties."
"No problem!"
Leon immediately performed a shadow clone technique.
The Chatty Brigade, in action!
The second the clones appeared, Leon transformed into a cat and took off.
"Long time no see, Mr. Coulson! Remember me? I'm Number Five!"
"There are numbers now? Since when?"
"Oh, just messing with him."
The diplomatic master, people pleaser, and S.H.I.E.L.D. social butterfly Phil Coulson had a smile ready to stabilize the situation, but he froze.
"Getting out of poverty is harder than losing your hair, but gaining weight sure is easier than getting rich."
"Mr. Coulson, you've put on some weight!"
"I still don't get why he's Number Five."
"Well, guess what, now you're Number Five!"
"I'll take it~"
...
Taking a deep breath, Coulson decided to send them off as quickly as possible!
"You two, block off that street intersection!"
"You two, head to the other side."
"You two, rescue all the people trapped in car crashes on the street!"
"You two, come with me to clear the area and look for survivors in the rubble!"
At this critical moment, the clones surprisingly acted responsibly, silently following Coulson's instructions. It caught Coulson off guard.
...
Meanwhile, Leon had rushed to the main battlefield.
As soon as he arrived, he realized something was off...
"That's... Iron Monger?!"
Seeing the massive metal beast pummeling Iron Man, Leon scratched his head, "Isn't this freaking Transformers?!"
...
In reality, this was all Leon's fault.
After seeing the desert cave scene, Obadiah had developed a serious defense against Tony's suit.
Compared to the original movie's plot, Obadiah had built a larger suit.
Thus, the scene where Tony was helpless against this "new" Iron Monger unfolded.
Leon had a sneaking suspicion this change had something to do with him.
At this point, Iron Monger had just been tricked by Tony into flying up high. Tony took advantage of the fact that Iron Monger hadn't tested his suit for high-altitude freezing and landed safely. Iron Monger's power systems failed, causing him to fall.
Tony thought he'd won, but to his shock, Obadiah survived the fall!
With his suit's battery dead, Tony was forced to have Pepper blow up the massive battery below to kill Obadiah.
Due to Iron Monger's infrared sensors being damaged earlier, Tony used the complex terrain on the rooftop to hide while relaying this plan to Pepper.
"Pepper…"
Just as Tony opened the communicator and said her name, he noticed a small black cat perched on a nearby column.
"Little kitty? Is that you! Magic Cat!"
Magic... cat?
Pepper was momentarily confused. Why was he talking about this now?
"Tony, Tony, are you... hello? Hello?"
The call... disconnected?!
...
On the rooftop, Tony shut off the communicator.
If it wasn't a last resort, he didn't want to blow up the big battery in his home to kill Obadiah. The explosion would be powerful enough to kill Obadiah and several versions of himself.
His suit had lost power, so now it was just an ordinary metal shell with no mobility. A mutual destruction scenario seemed likely.
If that happened, Pepper, who initiated the explosion, would live with regret for the rest of her life.
That fear outweighed Tony's fear of dying.
Completely unaware of the confusion he'd caused Pepper, Tony was still trying to confirm if the black cat was the magical one that had saved him before.
"Is it you?"
Reaching out his hand, Tony tried to pet the little cat's head. He knew if he could actually touch it, it wasn't the magic cat because that cat never let anyone touch it.
Then, he touched it.
The little black cat's head.
Tony froze, his hand trembling slightly as the black cat meowed and ran off.
So, it wasn't…
Tony let out a heavy sigh.
Leon, hiding behind Tony, had seen everything.
"Good grief! Now's really not the time to be petting cats! What's going on in your head?"
Tony turned around in surprise, "Haha! It's you!"
"What do you mean it's me? I recorded everything. One price, a million dollars."
"Will you give me the money?"
"Then I'll sell it to Pepper for five bucks."
Tony sat on the ground, chuckling, "We can negotiate. Five bucks it is, and I'll throw in a bag of catnip."
"Haha, you even know what catnip is?"
Tony's face darkened.
When he returned home after the press conference, Pepper had asked him what he wanted to eat. He said a cheeseburger.
Pepper nodded, understanding.
He then said he wanted a steamed bun.
Though puzzled, Pepper didn't think too much of it and agreed.
Finally, he said: I'd like some catnip. Oh, and don't forget to send some to Yinsen, he likes it too.
Pepper, thinking her ears had failed her, asked again. Tony repeated it.
Pepper confirmed—catnip.
Then she explained, and with a confused look, asked: Are you sure you want catnip?!
Tony's face had darkened even more back then than it was now!
"Hahaha!"
Leon, now a black cat, couldn't hold back his laughter.
"Don't worry, Tony," Leon, still laughing, said. "Humans can eat it too. Trust me!"
Tony thought, *I trust you as far as I can throw you! You little rascal!*
BAM!!
The blades they were hiding behind were suddenly swiped away by Iron Monger.
"Well, well, well. A helpless kid and a little cat!"
Obadiah sneered, "How about I send you both to hell, Tony! I've shown you enough mercy!"
Leon wasn't having it.
What harm could a little cat possibly cause? And yet, here was someone trying to harm one!
"You've clearly overheated that big head of yours!"
In front of a stunned Tony and Obadiah, Leon transformed back into his human form.
Pulling out his weapon, Leon slowly floated up and tilted his head, saying, "Something's off about you! Fess up! Did you steal my fish snacks?"
Behind him, Tony pondered a serious question.
Was it a cat turning into a human or a human turning into a cat?
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