Is it me who's the problem?
Is it the people around me?
Or is it the world I live in?
Is it the greed festering inside me—the one I thought I'd buried long ago?
Am I wrong?
Were they right to call me pathetic?
Have I really done nothing to earn what I want?
Is my desire just selfishness in disguise?
Have I ever done anything meaningful?
Am I really that greedy?
That pathetic?
...Am I?
…
But do they not realize what I've been through? The pain? The problems? The losses? The deaths I've suffered?
Doesn't that earn me something at least? Anything? Why the hell wouldn't it?
I've been so damn unlucky—shouldn't fate at least throw me a bone? Some answers? Some help? Just something?!
That's why I hate fate.
If anything, fate is the pathetic, selfish one.
***
I raise myself from the wet ground, slowly standing as the light rain taps gently around me.
At this point, the pain in my body doesn't feel so bad. Not compared to what I've been through. I can push through it.
So let's get going.
I don't give a damn about fate pushing me to my limits.
If it won't give me anything, I'll grab it with my own hands and force what I want out of it.
I begin walking across the street, the sun peeking through the clouds and shining bright, its rays reflecting off the rainwater like golden threads.
Beside me, the little furball follows quietly, not even worth glancing at right now.
My eyes feel numb, like something inside me died.
My posture? Like a walking corpse.
My hair's heavy—soaked and clinging to my face, nearly blocking my view. Damn, it's gotten long…
Do I really keep trying?
Do I just forget everything?
Maybe find a new path to follow...?
Or do I keep going? Find someone… anyone… who can tell me where I am—
So I don't give up on the friends I've been separated from.
It wouldn't hurt to ask.
Just find someone.
Someone who can tell me I'm still in Solithra.
...I'm so tired.
...Eh.
Screw it.
I'll ask.
Someone.
Who...?
Her?
Sure...
"Hey…" I call out softly, my voice dry and lazy, to the woman across the street.
"Yes? How can I help you?" she replies, turning to look at me. Her eyes scan me over. After a pause, she adds, "Oh my… What happened? Do you need something? Food? A place to rest?"
"Can you… tell me…" I begin, my voice almost refusing to come out, "Where am I? This place… Am I still in Solithra?"
Those were the only words I managed to get out.
And the only ones I cared to hear in return...
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
"Please, come in. We can talk inside," she says, gesturing toward the house behind her.
But her words don't register in my brain.
Not really.
She waits—probably expecting me to follow or respond—but I just stand there, spaced out, like a corpse that forgot how to live.
"Well... alright…" she mumbles, almost to herself. Then, after a breath:
"Where you are? Well… You're definitely in Solithra.
Not sure why you're asking that, but yeah.
You're in the central region—Lyndoria. Southeast, to be exact."
She looks confused… but also kind. Like she genuinely wants to help.
But I already got what I needed.
I'm still in Solithra.
"You sure you don't want help?" she asks again.
But I don't even process the words.
I turn away, muttering, "Thank you… really…" and walk off—
Still looking like the dead man I feel like.
"Yeah… glad to help…" she murmurs, her voice fading behind me.
"…But are you sure—"
I can't hear the rest.
My mind is too slow.
Too tired.
Too broken to care.
I wander off, only one thing on my mind right now—
To find the others.
My stomach growls…
I just need food…
Should I go to the guild house?
Take a job, earn some money maybe?
Yeah… that's probably the best thing to do right now.
***
I stand outside the guild house, then push the doors open.
The place is small—quiet.
Not many people around. Three parties, maybe?
I walk up to the desk and show my guild badge.
My name, rank, and party name are all there: Erinas.
I got it back when I joined Orin's party.
"Can you give me an F-ranked quest, please?" I ask, voice low and worn out, barely holding itself together.
The young girl behind the desk glances at me, then at the badge.
She looks confused—but not just confused. There's something else on her face, something heavy…
Pity.
She thinks I lost my party members…
She mutters quietly to herself, reading the badge aloud:
"Party name: Erinas… Members: six…"
She looks back up at me.
"Mhm… An F-rank quest? Sure… coming up."
She turns, then hands me a wooden quest board.
I scan it.
Only thing my eyes focus on… is the payment.
"…Can you give me one with higher pay?" I ask.
"The highest-paying one for F-rank."
She nods slowly and turns around again to search.
And behind me…
I hear whispers.
"Where's his party? Did they get killed?"
"Poor guy… forced to take low-tier jobs after losing his team…"
"Erinas? Never heard of them."
"Six members? Guess losses happen…"
Their voices are soft…
But they might as well be screaming.
I feel their stares.
Some feel sorry.
Some are mocking.
The girl returns, holding another board.
"Here you go… Please be careful, alright?" she says gently.
"Mhm… Thanks," I mutter, taking the quest and grabbing my badge.
I glance at the job details—just enough to know what I'm walking into.
Then I turn around and walk off—
Still tired.
Still alone.
But moving.