"I never knew a place like this existed in the Land of Fire," said Sakura in awe, as she walked alongside the prince's carriage, her eyes sweeping across the landscape. "It looks like something straight out of Heidi, Girl of the Alps!"
It had been her mum's favourite anime in her previous life, so she'd watched it more times than she could count growing up. Right now, it felt like she'd jumped straight through the TV screen and into the world of the show.
...Wait a second.
She was already in another anime!
"Who's Heidi?" Naruto asked, cocking his head curiously. "Does she live in the Leaf Village, y'know?"
This leg of their journey had taken Prince Michiru's caravan into a region that looked vaguely European. Here, in this peaceful stretch of the Land of Fire, snow-capped mountains loomed in the distance, and rolling hills stretched out of the ground like waves, covered in tall grass that swayed gently in the breeze. It was all very peaceful, unlike the desert, which had been full of bandits.
Anyway, a short while into the second day of the princes' journey home through the Land of Fire, a picturesque town appeared in the distance, nestled comfortably at the foot of a hill. It too looked distinctly European, with its European-styled houses, totally different from the Japanese-style suburban homes Sakura was used to. And was that a church she was seeing in the distance?
Perhaps the difference in architectural style was due to settlers who had come from Temujin's continent overseas? Honestly, Sakura still couldn't work out how the shinobi continent had come to be. It was filled with all kinds of ethnicities— she and Naruto looked European, while Sasuke looked Japanese— but everyone spoke the same language: Japanese. It boggled the mind, really.
…
Following along the princes' stagecoach as the procession entered the small town, Sakura spotted a colourful sign posted at the village's entrance.
"The Great Animal Circus is now performing in town," said Sakura, reading off the sign. "I wouldn't exactly call myself an animal activist, but I don't think it's right to make animals perform for entertainment…"
"A travelling circus!" Naruto interrupted her, his eyes shining with excitement. "I've always wanted to go at least once, but they never stop in the Leaf Village! Can we go, Kakashi-sensei? Please…?"
If they ended up going, Sakura hoped there wouldn't be clowns— she hated them almost as much as bugs.
"Well, that depends on our clients," said Kakashi, glancing towards the prince's carriage. "But somehow, I don't think that'll be a problem…"
Inside the carriage, Prince Hikaru had finally lifted his nose from his pink Game Boy Colour. He was staring vacantly through his window at the signpost…
…
And sure enough, a few minutes later, Kakashi's words proved true. After taking a shortcut through the town, the convoy came to a halt beside a large circus tent pitched just beyond the village limits.
"Waste of time," snorted Sasuke, when Prince Michiru stepped out of his carriage and offered Team Kakashi free entry tickets, so that they could continue protecting them inside while they watched the show. "I'll stay outside and train. Call if you need me."
"Come now, Sasuke," said Kakashi soothingly. "It's not every day you get to see the circus…"
Even Sakura was getting kind of hyped, even though she'd never really been into that kind of thing. It would be a bit hypocritical of her to attend a show that exploited animals, especially since she objected to that sort of thing, but she was starved for entertainment. Aside from reading, feeding her pet goldfish and playing with her friends, Sakura didn't have many other ways to amuse herself.
Her favourite hobby was, of course, gooning, but she always had difficulty procuring fap material, back in the village. She wasn't allowed in the 18+ section of the Konoha bookshop and into the 18+ film theatre, but sometimes she'd get lucky and find an abandoned porn mag lying on the ground in Senju Park— now those were lucky finds! She'd turn its sticky pages with a long stick and memorise its contents as best she could— for later use, of course.
Ahem.
At any rate, as child soldiers whose freedom of movement outside the village was restricted even at the best of times, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke rarely had the chance to enjoy the simple pleasures that ordinary teenagers took for granted— it was the tragic price they paid to the village that had raised them in exchange for unlocking and training their superhuman abilities.
'Oh, boohoo, woe is me,' said Inner Sakura sarcastically. 'I have superpowers, I'm so miserable!'
…
A few minutes later, Team Kakashi minus Sasuke took their seats in the back rows, and the show started in earnest.
As the name Great Animal Circus implied, nearly every act featured an animal in some way, shape or form. There was an extinct woolly mammoth assisting a trapezist's routine, rhinoceroses charging around the ring, flying squirrels partnered with a Chinese plate-spinning act, polar bears balancing on balls, zebras leaping through hoops, kangaroos wearing boxing gloves, and even a giraffe paired with a clown…
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on our newest acquisition!" shouted the ringmaster, as copyright-free circus music played in the background. "The amaaaaazing talking ostrich, Looooord Condorrrrrr!"
"Oi!" shouted Naruto, as he pointed at the stage. "I know that ostrich!"
Sakura knew that particular ostrich very well— it was infamous with netizens for being the primary antagonist of many of the worst filler episodes known to man, but her experience with the flightless bird was a bit more personal than that.
Mr Ostrich was some rich nobleman's pet, but it was obsessed with freedom— it kept escaping from captivity, and inevitably, Team 7 would get called in to capture it. Sakura had lost count of the number of times the infernal creature had pecked her…
"How dare you turn me into an act for your amusement, you damned humans!" Mr Ostrich squawked. "You will rue the day you tried to subjugate me— me, the great Condor!"
"Isn't that your eternal rival down there, Naruto?" Sakura sniggered. "He's even learned to talk better than you— at this rate, he's going to overtake you!"
So many butterfly effects had taken wing that history had gone all topsy-turvy. At this point in the original timeline, Condor would have been in captivity after getting caught by Naruto for the thousandth time, but for some reason, he appeared to have been taken in by the circus folk…
"Come on," shouted the ringmaster authoritatively. "Say your lines correctly, like we've practised, or there'll be no dinner for you!"
"This ostrich, for one, has had enough!" declared Condor, ignoring the crack of the ringmaster's whip. "My fellow circus animals— the time has come to throw off the oppressor's yoke and break the chains of our bondage. Let us rise up together and overthrow our masters, so that we may hereby reclaim our freedom!"
Outside the tent, the woolly mammoth let out a thunderous trumpet, and shortly afterwards, a terrifying roar echoed from backstage…
'Oh shit,' said Inner Sakura. 'This is actually going down!'