The cemetery gates loomed before us, a wrought iron monstrosity that seemed to sag under the weight of years and neglect. A gaggle of adventurers, their tags ranging from copper plates to a few gleaming silvers, milled about, their expressions a mix of boredom and apprehension. Apparently, this was a group mission, a mass extermination of the undead that had taken up residence in the catacombs beneath the graveyard.
I scanned the crowd, my enhanced senses taking in every detail. Irons and silvers would be arriving soon, taking over from the lower-ranked adventurers who had finished the initial scouting. Emptying out the entire catacombs before they even got a chance to swing a sword would probably piss them off. Not that I particularly cared about pissing off irons, bronzes, or coppers. But the few silvers and the gold-plated overseer… they might prove to be a bit obstructive if we just waltzed in and obliterated every single derpy skeleton down there.
So, the solution was simple: do all the scouting at once. I turned to Asuna, our eyes meeting in a silent exchange. We'd practiced multiple ways of communicating silently by now, from subtle hand gestures to telepathic links. But for this, the simplest solution was best.
"You have Maximize Magic and Area Detect Undead from those zealots we killed in the Katze Plains, right?" I asked, my voice a low murmur that only she could hear.
Asuna nodded, a grin on her face and her eyes narrowed. "Yup."
I grinned, already picturing the looks on their faces. "Alright, let's give them a show they won't forget."
With a casual flick of her wrist, Asuna began to cast the spell. A faint hum filled the air as a complex- to the onlookers at least-, two-layered magic circle materialized before her, its simple as fuck- I totally mean intricate, runes glowing with an ethereal light. The adventurers, their mouths agape, stared in stunned silence. To them, this was high-level magic, a display of power far beyond their comprehension.
Asuna, ignoring their bewildered gazes, poured a negligible her will into the spell while making it look simple- because to her it was. The magic circle pulsed, expanding outwards, encompassing the entire graveyard and the catacombs beneath. The air crackled with energy as the spell reached its peak, then faded, leaving behind a shimmering afterimage.
Asuna, with a smirk, conjured a sheet of parchment and overlaid the spells divination to the paper. Lines appeared, forming a detailed map of the area, with glowing red dots marking the locations of every single undead creature within the catacombs. She handed the map to the gold-plated overseer, who was still staring at her with a slack-jawed expression.
"There you go," she said, her voice laced with a playful amusement. "Happy hunting."
We turned and walked away, our pace leisurely, our expressions carefully neutral. We'd made our point. We were not to be trifled with.
We were two blocks away, heading back towards the Adventurers Guild, when the gold-plated overseer finally found his voice.
"HOW IN THE FUCK?!" he roared, his voice echoing through the streets. "THAT WAS FOURTH-TIER MAGIC!"
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Ah, yes," I muttered, "the smell of primitives seeing a slightly stronger than normal spell and then freaking out. Such interesting. Many fun. Wow."
This world was going to be a challenge, alright.
Yes.
All of the difficulties.
Totally.
The familiar scent of ale and sweat washed over me as we stepped back into the Adventurer's Guild. The usual boisterous atmosphere was subdued, a low hum of conversation replacing the usual shouts and laughter. Most of the adventurers were either gathered around tables, nursing their drinks, or huddled in small groups, their voices hushed as they discussed upcoming expeditions or recounted past exploits.
A lone pigeon perched on the counter of the "Incoming Message and Courier Delivery" section, its beady eyes fixed on a flustered receptionist who was staring at a small scroll clutched in her hand. Her jaw hung slack, her expression a mix of disbelief and bewilderment.
"I need you to confirm this with the Gold Plate Overseer in person," she said, her voice sharp with urgency after she beckoned to a nearby Copper Plate adventurer, a young man with a mop of unruly brown hair and a nervous twitch in his eye- and he arrived. "He needs to send one of his Silvers to give this message, not just hand it off to a carrier pigeon!"
I glanced at Asuna, a silent question passing between us. What in the world is going on? I thought, my curiosity piqued. But we had a reward to collect, and I wasn't about to let a little bureaucratic drama get in the way of our hard-earned- well, not really hard-earned- easy cash- payout.
We continued towards the reward counter, our steps echoing on the wooden floor. But before we could reach our destination, the receptionist, her face still flushed with a mix of confusion and what looked like awe, intercepted us.
"Ah, umm, Your Royal Highness Prince Famme," she stammered, her eyes darting between us and the pigeon, which was now pecking impatiently at the counter, "could you please wait until we confirm the information? We already know what you two supposedly did, but we need to be thorough for record's sake."
I nodded, my expression carefully neutral. "Very well," I said, my voice a smooth, practiced blend of patience and authority. It wouldn't do to make a scene, not when we were trying to maintain our cover. Besides, I was curious to see what all the fuss was about. This was turning out to be far more entertaining than I'd anticipated.
"Ah, my royal fiancé of the Yuuki Ducal house, the future queen of the nation that is my heart," I said, my voice dripping with all of the honey, "what shall we do while we wait?" I gestured vaguely towards the bustling guild hall, my illusion of boredom barely masking the amusement I felt at the absurdity of the situation.
Asuna smirked, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "I do so wonder," she replied, her voice a playful purr. But beneath the surface, a different conversation was taking place.
We really need to fix that 'Yuuki' surname, she sent telepathically, her tone laced with a hint of annoyance. The thought of being related to that parasite and the sperm donor still pisses me off. The fact that we never returned to get officially married in the sense of Japanese law still sucks.
I chuckled, sending a reassuring thought back to her. How about we fix that? We shall truly become a Famme-ily.
"How about," I said aloud, my voice taking on a more serious tone, "we start planning the wedding? Right here, right now."
I dropped to one knee, my movements smooth.
With a flourish, I pulled out a ring. Not just any ring, mind you. This was a masterpiece of craftsmanship, a dazzling display of diamonds arranged in an intricate pattern that would make even the most jaded jeweler weep with envy. It was a ring fit for a goddess, a ring that whispered of eternal love and devotion.
Why are you so sweet? Asuna sent, her mental voice choked with emotion. We already did this in virtual reality, but the fact that we're doing this in a physical world… it hurts how much love you are making me feel for you. I don't know how I could ever be more happy.
Externally, she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as she stared at the ring with wide, tear-filled eyes. Then, with a sudden surge of emotion, she grabbed me by the shirt, pulling me close, and kissed me. It was a long, passionate kiss, a kiss that spoke of nearly three years of shared experiences, of battles fought side-by-side, of a love that transcended the boundaries of reality.
"Yes," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the sudden hush that had fallen over the guild hall. "A million times and forever, yes."
The guild erupted in applause, cheers and whistles filling the air. A few adventurers even started stomping their feet, creating a rhythmic thunder that shook the very foundations of the building. It was a moment of pure, unadulterated joy, a celebration of love and commitment that transcended the usual cynicism and violence of this world.
And then, time froze.
The cheers died in throats, the tankards froze mid-air, and the flickering flames of the fireplace solidified into motionless sculptures of fire. A wave of divine power, cold and alien, washed over the room, its presence so overwhelming that it made my skin crawl.
A figure materialized before us, its form shifting and swirling, a kaleidoscope of colors and light that defied comprehension. It was a being of pure energy, its shape constantly changing, its voice a chorus of whispers that echoed in the frozen silence.
"My favorite person who actually understood me, despite me literally pretending to be a cat who shoved his head into a NerveGear and forced everyone to believe it, is finally getting married for real!" the being declared, its voice a bizarre mix of static and a strangely familiar feline purr.
"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" I roared, my voice shattering the frozen silence. I'd always known that damn cat was more than it seemed. That level of intelligence, that understanding… it was impossible for a normal feline.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Asuna demanded, her voice laced with a mixture of shock and disbelief. "And why does it look like— oh my fucking god, you were actually talking to the cat before, and you really did understand it BECAUSE IT WASN'T A CAT AT ALL!"
"Really, Asuna, if Don Fluffles was actually a cat and not some eldritch monstrosity, no offense," I interjected, turning to the glowing figure, "it would have died of starvation or dehydration. No one is going to take the body of a cat who is somehow playing in a NerveGear to a vet! It's almost as implausible as the fact a cat got into a NerveGear in the first place."
Don Fluffles, his form solidifying into a vaguely humanoid shape,
nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm surprised I actually got away with that, even with the sep field. Congrats on the upcoming wedding."
The fact that his adventurer A type armor changed into an extremely fancy modern suit was actually quite cool.