As I'm trying to solve the mystery of Tessa's motivations, I notice that a stunned silence has overtaken the room. Glancing around, I see that many people, Helena and Darak especially, are now wearing conflicted expressions. Catching my eye, Helena decides to speak up.
"Mizuki, can I take your silence to mean that what Tessa said is true? Specifically, that you wouldn't be changing your stance on the trains and other items with the rest of us, that you'd leave freely with Princess Ilina if we asked, and that you'd still prevent the Empire from invading despite that?" (Helena)
Darak raises his eyebrows curiously.
"I'd also like to know the answer to that, Mizuki." (Darak)
I clench my jaw, uncertainty invading every one of my thoughts as I contemplate what to do. No matter how I look at it, while some of Tessa's assumptions, like my lifespan, are wrong, those three points are not.
I glance at Ilina, wondering how she's reacting to Tessa's cold assessment. To my surprise, she looks completely unperturbed, and she's just watching me expectantly. My eyes widen in surprise.
Does that mean she expected this? Am I just supposed to be honest?
After another moment of quiet contemplation, I sigh deeply and nod at Darak before turning my gaze to Helena.
"Yeah. Trust like that isn't earned overnight, or from decisions you make under duress. At the same time, I'm not the kind of person that would go back on my promise to leave peacefully or protect you from the Empire. Tessa is right about that, too." (Mizuki)
Darak sighs regretfully.
"I see. Well, I confess...as heartless as it sounds, that changes things a bit. I'm sorry." (Darak)
"I agree, Mizuki. No hard feelings, kid." (Helena)
Before I can respond, I hear silvery laughter from Ilina, who is watching the exchange with an amused smile. Naturally, her reaction draws the confused gazes of everyone in the room.
"Well, I wouldn't be so quick to abandon ship you two." (Ilina)
Helena narrows her eyes at Ilina, her expression wary.
"And why is that?" (Helena)
Darak and Tessa look at Ilina in anticipation, as do Elira and Dargo, who have been following the conversation with concerned expressions. So far they've been surprisingly quiet, but they seem to be constantly torn between their desire to trust Ilina to handle the situation for them, and an urge to intervene when Ilina or the nobles like Tessa have been especially forceful.
Seeing everyone's expectant gazes, Ilina just smirks.
"For one, because Tessa is wrong about several things, including that you won't benefit from supporting Mizuki and me. If I remain the heir to our kingdom, and you support our public marriage, then he will build a train for each and every one of your territories, and he'll also install an MMC in every one of your homes." (Ilina)
Everyone's eyes go wide in confusion, including Ilina's parents'. As for me, I'm doubly confused.
She thinks I'm going to do what now?
I see several people including Tessa glance at me inquisitively. Then, as if inferring my thoughts from my expression, she turns back to face Ilina with a frown.
"Princess, Mizuki just plainly said the exact opposite, and his face also clearly suggests that he had no intention of doing what you describe." (Tessa)
Ilina shakes her head, and begins walking around the table towards Tessa with a confident smile.
"No, he just plainly told you that he's not going to magically trust you all of a sudden, which is still true. As for his face, that's because he hasn't previously agreed to doing what I just said. However, he will. It's true that he turned all of you down, and he even turned down my mother's and father's request for such a thing. But he'll do it if I'm the one asking." (Ilina)
While I continue to gape like a goldfish at Ilina's sudden assertion as my thoughts spin, Tessa just stares back at her with a skeptical expression. Before she can respond, though, Helena snorts in amusement.
"Oh, confident you've got your boyfriend good and saddled, are you? Fufufu...well if that's true, why are there no trains anywhere else yet? Why didn't you step in when he turned down whatever these prior requests from our King and Queen were?" (Helena)
Ilina purses her lips disapprovingly.
"We have mutual trust...he's not my horse. As for why I haven't asked him for this before, it's because I don't just see him as an exploitable resource. I love him, and I value the trust he's put in me since before we were even romantically involved. More importantly, if he grants such a request, only my position as Princess and then Queen will allow me to ensure that I'm worthy of the trust he puts in me.
"Since I always worried that I might lose that position once our relationship became public knowledge, I wasn't willing to ask him for such a favor before we addressed the situation. Obviously, if you all support our public marriage, that problem goes away." (Ilina)
Darak raises his eyebrows at her comment, and turns towards me with an inquisitive expression.
"Mizuki, would you really do what Ilina says if she's the one asking?" (Darak)
As his question snaps me out of my stupor, I notice that everyone is watching me expectantly, waiting for my answer, and I suddenly feel a wave of apprehension.
I turn my attention to Ilina, who is now walking past Tessa at the side of the table, making her way to me. Her long, silvery hair is flashing in the room's lighting as it sways behind her, and her grey eyes hold nothing but warmth as she smiles at me reassuringly.
As I take in the sight of her, I feel immense gratitude towards her wash over me. I don't want to disappoint her, and I definitely trust her. I really do, but...her request isn't about how much I trust her.
If I do as she asks, build trains and MMCs for all the nobles, and they abuse them, I'll be forced to slaughter who knows how many elves. Even if she played a role in it, and even though she knows about Azazel's rules, I can't imagine our relationship surviving something like that. I don't know why she'd make such a request knowing what she does, but...I can't risk granting it.
After several moments of my inner turmoil, Ilina arrives in front of me with her demeanor unchanged. As I meet her gaze, I can feel my own guilt and remorse shining through in my eyes, my voice heavily apologetic.
"Ilina...I c-" (Mizuki)
She cuts me off by grabbing my hand and shaking her head. I can feel her hand burning with heat as she laces her fingers through mine, her grey eyes never breaking their hold on my own.
"Before you answer, let me say something." (Ilina)
My words die in my throat, and I stare at her with a conflicted expression for several seconds. Seeing my hesitation, she smiles and continues.
"Mizuki, you knew when you confessed to me and asked me to marry you that I care for my people. You also knew the weight of my responsibility, that I'll one day take my mother's place as queen, and that my husband will share some of that responsibility. So, has anything changed...do you still love me? Do you still want to marry me?" (Ilina)
My face contorts in shock, my voice becoming incredulous.
"Of course! It's ju-" (Mizuki)
Ilina cuts me off with a quick hand squeeze and a smile.
"Great, I feel the same way. And if I were Queen and we were married with my people's blessing, even if you don't want it, would you be my people's King if I asked? Would you consider me your Queen, too, and help me shoulder my responsibilities?" (Ilina)
I open my mouth to respond. I want to tell her that she knows I'd do all of that in a heartbeat. But that shouldering her responsibility and accepting her as my Queen doesn't mean blindly following her orders like a dog. That her request is still far from being so simple. Unfortunately, I get the distinct impression that she'd just cut me off again before I elaborate.
So, I just nod at her in response. She smiles again, and she begins to rub my hand with her thumb affectionately.
"Thank you...that's also what I want, Mizuki. And that's exactly why I have this favor to ask of you. Up until now, it's true that you've been a friend to the elves, but you've never taken responsibility for our growth and well-being. You've never truly sought to make our home your own, or to treat my people as another elf would.
"I understand that my people have been far from inviting, and that you've never received the opportunity to truly be one of us. But if you want to make this work, like I do, then this is our best chance. So, even though it's not fair or reasonable, even though it's my people who are the problem, I'm still asking you to be the bigger person and take the first step towards making that wish a reality.
"I'm asking you to grant me this favor. I know that you don't trust any of them, but I'm asking you to trust me. To trust that I share your fears and your burdens, and that I'm competent enough to ensure you won't regret granting my favor. So, I'll ask you again, do you trust me?" (Ilina)
Ilina meets my gaze calmly, patiently, as her question hangs in the air. Every muscle in my body is tensed, my thoughts in disarray as I consider her words.
She's not wrong...I've never been interested in truly integrating myself into their country, and I'm sure it shows. It's the reason I outright rejected Darak's suggestion for citizenship all that time ago.
I've wanted to help them, and to be accepted, but not to truly be one of them. Not to treat them like they treat each other, and have that consideration reciprocated. Instead, I've always avoided any kind of preferential treatment for their race. In retrospect, while that's totally reasonable, and they likely have other reasons for not trusting me, it also probably didn't help my situation.
All of that aside, I can tell from the way she's acting that this must have been what she had in mind from the beginning. The reason why last night she asked me so adamantly if I trust her unconditionally. Whatever her plan is, me agreeing to this request is critical.
Still, even knowing that, I can't shake the foreboding that comes with granting her request. The stakes are too high if the elves abuse my gifts, and I fail to see how Ilina can fully control all the nobles' actions with the trains.
If she knows I don't trust them, and she knows the stakes, why would she ask me to do this? Does she have some solution I don't know about? Why wouldn't she share it with me beforehand if she did?
The more I think about it, the more I can only see her favor ending poorly, and the more confused I am by her request. Ultimately, I'm left with a decision as simple as it is agonizing. I can truly, blindly trust Ilina, potentially having to commit atrocities later, or I can knowingly derail her plans and definitely cause major but less severe problems for her and her country.
Either runs the risk of ruining our relationship.