After a few moments, Alyse nods to herself and smirks at me.
"So, I guess it's your turn to ask a question next. Will it be another one about my relationship with my family? If so, it might be easier for you to just ask to read my diary." (Alyse)
Is that…supposed to be a joke? She's awfully quippy. Also, it's hard to tell if she actually believed my explanation about my S-rank. She's not even following up on my response. Regardless, trying to reinforce it when she's already changed the subject would be suspicious. Guess I'll just have to move on, too.
"Reading millennia worth of teen angst doesn't sound appealing, so I'll pass. I'd rather ask you about recreation around the city, since we'll be leaving this restaurant soon. You mentioned something called 'The Ring' earlier. Can you tell me about it? It might be a good next stop after getting my Lady some dessert." (Mizuki)
Alyse raises her eyebrows at me.
"The Ring, huh? Well, it's a large coliseum with facilities that people use for sparring and training of all kinds. Archery, swordsmanship, martial arts, and combat magic. In addition, they host recurring contests in all those categories. Honestly, it doesn't really seem like something you or your Lady would be interested in." (Alyse)
Nina's certainly not going to be interested, but Alto might. She's really been on a Shonen-style self-improvement arc lately. I'm also kind of curious to see this bold claim of Alyse's about her strength, so maybe Alto would be a good matchup.
"Oh, I don't have to be a fighter to be interested. I'll talk with Alto and my Lady, but I think we'd like to see The Ring. That is, if you don't mind being our guide?" (Mizuki)
Alyse narrows her eyes at me briefly, then she gives a polite smile.
"Yeah, we can do that. Now if you don't mind, Mizuki, I've got another question for you. It can be the last one for now…it looks like your Lady is recovering over there." (Alyse)
I glance over my shoulder toward Nina, and I see her starting to sit up normally on the couch. Thankfully, she's no longer drinking. I turn back to Alyse and nod.
"Sure, that's fine with me." (Mizuki)
Alyse's expression suddenly turns serious, and she leans forward over the table. Her dark brown eyes are fixed on me, unwavering.
"Alto seems to have a very high opinion of you. To hear her talk, you might be the most selfless person on the planet. I'm curious, what do you think of that?" (Alyse)
That's…not what I was expecting. It seems that Alto failed to mention something else as well…I sigh internally. I don't know how many times I have to tell her that she severely overestimates my character.
I involuntarily roll my eyes.
"What I think is that Alto tends to see the best in other people, even when they don't deserve it. It's especially pronounced with me, and no matter how many times I try to correct her, she just keeps right on thinking otherwise. Though I wish she'd stop, I also kind of admire that idealistic facet of her personality." (Mizuki)
Alyse raises her eyebrows at me.
"So, essentially…you're admitting that you're actually selfish? You disagree with Alto's view of you?" (Alyse)
Wow, somebody's a cynic. Still…
"I think there's an argument to be made that everyone is selfish at their core, depending on your definition. Regardless, I certainly wouldn't describe myself as selfless." (Mizuki)
Alyse smirks, like she's amused, but there's also a trace of…approval? It's hard to say for sure.
"Oh yeah? That's a pretty cynical way to look at yourself and the world. So, how is everyone selfish at their core?" (Alyse)
Might be a situation of the pot calling the kettle black, but I suppose that she isn't wrong either.
"We're just fundamentally wired to evaluate, plan, and act based on the anticipated effects on ourselves. There are predators, like those who rob and murder others for their possessions. There are also so-called altruists, like those who risk their lives to help others without observable benefits. Yet, they're both just making decisions that make their own existences the most bearable. At least, that's the way I see it." (Mizuki)
Alyse raises an eyebrow incredulously.
"I doubt you'll find much support for that opinion. How do you imagine that altruists are actually selfish?" (Alyse)
I didn't actually say they were selfish, but whatever. I shrug at Alyse.
"The way I see it, altruists still only act to satisfy their own urges. If a predator just fundamentally doesn't value others' lives and is materialistic, then why wouldn't they kill someone and take their belongings? Similarly, if an altruist hates to see others suffer more than they fear death, then of course they'd put themselves in danger to help others. They're avoiding the inner turmoil they'd feel if they didn't." (Mizuki)
Alyse rolls her eyes and rests her cheek on her palm.
"Sounds tiresomely philosophical to me. Regardless, what's your point? Are you implying that Alto is under some misconception about why you've treated her so well? Did you have ulterior motives?" (Alyse)
Alto putting me on a pedestal has always bothered me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on the reason before today. It felt like I didn't deserve the credit, yet I did help her and others without any notable benefit to myself. I've realized something about myself, though, and I can finally put into words why her praise bothers me.
I nod at Alyse.
"In a way, yes. I wanted to free Alto and the others because seeing them deprived of their autonomy without provocation bothered me. I worked my hardest to help them regain a sense of safety and control because I got angrier as it eluded them. I refused any compensation because it would have irritated me to accept it for giving them something they're entitled to. So, my point is that Alto seems to think that I'm on some grand hero's crusade, but I was just snuffing out the things I saw that pissed me off. I'm no saint…" (Mizuki)
I think that's the long and short of it. I didn't act on some bleeding-heart empathy for those slaves like Alto may think. I just got rid of something that entered my line of sight and disgusted me. Nothing more, nothing less. I think that's why her gratitude is uncomfortable for me.
Alyse's eyes slide away from me, then she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms in front of her chest. She stares silently into space for several moments. Eventually, she sighs in exasperation and shakes her head.
"Fufufu…anyone ever told you that you overthink everything? Here's my perspective. Sure, everyone's selfish by nature, and anyone that seems otherwise just cares about different things than you. But so what? When someone's nature and circumstance drive them to do things that benefit you, that's a friend. When it drives them to oppose you, that's an adversary. It's pointless to worry about anything else." (Alyse)
"Fufufu…I've heard that once or twice. Still, I disagree…what you describe seems like a misleading way to evaluate people. After all, friends can become enemies and vice versa, and you won't be able to predict those changes unless you know a person's nature and circumstance. Maybe it's pointless to worry about labels like 'altruistic' and 'selfish', but understanding the reasons someone acts the way they do has value." (Mizuki)
Alyse snorts at me.
"Oh yeah? Then what's the value in Alto being convinced that you free slaves because you hate slavery versus freeing them because you care about the slaves? It seems to me like the consequences are the same – she can count on you helping those people." (Alyse)
I nod my acknowledgement to Alyse.
"Perhaps in that specific case, there's no difference. But if she extrapolates that misconception to other scenarios, then she may be surprised or even horrified by my decisions in the future. I'd rather manage her expectations, so that I can mitigate the risk of losing a friend over such a misunderstanding." (Mizuki)
Alyse closes her eyes and sighs defeatedly.
"Whatever you say. You seem strangely determined to not have Alto see you for the softy that you obviously are, and it doesn't seem like I'll change your mind. So, we can drop it. Plus, you're exhausting to debate with, and it's none of my business anyway. Still…" (Alyse)
Alyse opens her eyes and locks them with mine. Her face twists into a self-satisfied smirk.
"You're nothing like what you seem at first glance, I think. You're as interesting as you are confusing. I've got to say, I'm pleasantly surprised by your company, Mizuki." (Alyse)
Christ…when did she get so blunt with me? Although, I don't really mind, and I guess I've been kind of egging her on with my own sarcasm here and there.
I smirk back at Alyse.
"Gee…thanks. The feeling's mutual." (Mizuki)