I sense Nina's nervousness wane, then transition to confusion.
[If you were not close enough to miss them now that they're gone, what made them your friends?] (Nina)
Good question...I'm not sure why I called them my friends. I let the silence hang between us for a few moments as I think the question over.
[I suppose that I didn't have any real friends, thinking back. Those that I called my friends were just likable people that I happened to spend a lot of time around because we were working towards similar goals.] (Mizuki)
Nina is silent for a moment, and I assume that she's thinking about how pathetic that is, but…
[I see…I was trying to understand the concept. Except for our mates, dragons do not become so emotionally dependent on anyone that they meet. So, I suppose that it is not in our nature to have friendships, like what you have with Alto.] (Nina)
Huh…
[I guess that makes sense. I always wondered why, with so few of your own kind on Azura, the Elder Dragons are all willingly isolated. At the very least, your descriptions of Halzar and Veyron make them seem similar enough that, by human standards, they could be friends.] (Mizuki)
I sense a rush of amusement from Nina, but it slowly transitions to a kind of…wistfulness, perhaps?
[Fufufu…yes, I have often thought that Halzar and Veyron should just mate with one another and leave Ciri and me alone. Dragons are quite accustomed to solitude, but not to the degree that we've experienced it on Azura. None of us are suitable mates for one another, and we don't even routinely interact with our own kind. I was heavily burdened by loneliness before I met you, Mizuki.] (Nina)
I snap my head to Nina in surprise when she mentions her loneliness. She's kind of implied something similar before, but I've never heard her say it so plainly. What do I even say to that? Apologize? Thank her? Both?
Nina just smiles gratefully as she holds my gaze. After a moment, I smile back at her as genuinely as I can.
[I'm glad that we both have each other now, Nina, and I promise that's never going to change. You're irreplaceable to me…you know?] (Mizuki)
Nina's face goes slack for several moments, and her green eyes seem frozen as they peer into me. Then, I sense a warm sensation through our connection.
[Mizuki…] (Nina)
[Uhm...yeah?] (Mizuki)
[I need you to put off retrieving Ilina for a couple hours longer than normal tonight. This conversation has me feeling very…appreciative…of you, and you know how impatient I am about expressing myself.] (Nina)
Half my brain thinks that she just ruined a perfectly sweet moment, while the other half knows that was sentimental and loving in her own way. Meanwhile, my second brain is very pleased.
[Ehem…err, sure. I'll let her know that I'll be late picking her up tonight.] (Mizuki)
I sense immense satisfaction from Nina for several moments, then the nervousness from earlier suddenly reemerges.
[Mizuki, what are your parents like?] (Nina)
Yup…she just murdered the mood in cold blood. Where the hell did that come from?
Nina seems to realize my sentiments.
[Sorry. You said you didn't miss any of the so-called friends from your home planet, but you didn't discuss the parents you mentioned. I just realized that you've never talked about them before either, so I became curious. Do you miss them?] (Nina)
Ah, I guess that would come off as strange. I talked more about people that I don't miss and can't even consider real friends than I did about my own mom and dad.
I glance at Nina as we continue down the street, and her eyes are fixed on me with a neutral expression.
[No…I can't say that I do. I don't hate them or anything, I just...don't care that I won't see them again.] (Mizuki)
Nina's eyes widen and I sense surprise, relief, then guilt from her in quick succession. She doesn't respond for several moments.
[I see…so, then…] (Nina)
Her thoughts trail off, as though she can't decide whether to finish them, and I sense emotional conflict through our connection.
[Is there something more specific that you're trying to ask me, Nina? If so, just come out and say it. I can sense that you're nervous, and it's not like you to be so reserved either.] (Mizuki)
The conflict remains evident on Nina's face for a while, but she appears to make up her mind at my urging.
[Well, you mentioned never seeing your parents again, but I can't help but wonder. If you found a way to return to your own world...would you? You've made it sound like a wonderful place…] (Nina)
Nina isn't meeting my gaze, but her gait is stiff, her expression strained, and the nervousness I sensed from her hasn't abated.
Ah…so that's what this is all about. She wants to know if there's anything about my old life that could pull me away from her. Honestly, I can't help but feel like it's a pointless question. I can't imagine Azazel or the god of Earth facilitating my return. I doubt they'd even allow me to get there on my own. Even if they'd avoid interfering, I don't have a way to return myself to Earth .
In theory, I could teleport there with enough magic, but I sincerely doubt that I have enough. I can't be sure of the distance between Earth and Azura, but Earth's nearest potentially life-sustaining planet is Alpha Centauri, so they have to be at least that far apart. That's over four light years.
I don't know the upper limit of my teleportation range. But based on how much it drained me to teleport our mansion, and on what I've surmised about the energy requirements for teleportation as a function of distance and size, I can teleport myself maybe a tenth of a thousandth of a light year. That could get me to the moon, or maybe another planet in this solar system at the right time of year, but I'm not going anywhere useful.
Of course, that could be solved if I found a way to harness more magic, but that doesn't seem possible. The only way I've heard of doing that so far is with a Dragon Bond, but I can't make another one of those. Not that I'd want to. There's only one thing that I know for sure can teleport me to Earth, which humans might be inherently capable of manipulating to some degree. Aether, the divine counterpart of magic.
Realizing that I've been silently in thought for a while, I glance at Nina. She's now openly staring at me, nervous. Gah…it wasn't nice of me to trail off like that in thought, I'm probably stressing her out. Still, I know that she's not really asking the question that I've been pondering.
She wants to know about my sentiments…would I go back if I could? Would I abandon her to return home? If she'd asked me that a few weeks ago, my answer might have been different. But…
[Sorry if my silence scared you, Nina. I was just lost in thought. To answer your question…I might go back to Earth if I could, depending on the context. But I wouldn't, for example, make a one-way trip back there alone. So, if you're wondering if I'll ever abandon you, the answer is no. Not under any circumstances.] (Mizuki)
I try to give Nina the most reassuring smile that I can manage, to drive the point home. Her entire body seems to relax as her lips part into an embarrassed smile. I don't need our connection to see that I was right about what was concerning her.
[Thanks, Mizuki. I...didn't really think you would, not deep down. But I'd never even considered it before, and…the thought scared me. So, thanks for saying that...it means a lot to hear it directly from you.] (Nina)
[Don't mention it. If you ever need to hear any other reassurances from me, just say so.] (Mizuki)
I sense a rush of giddiness from Nina as we continue walking along in silence. After a moment, I realize something else about her questions so far.
[Hey, Nina?] (Mizuki)
Nina turns to me in surprise, and her eyes widen expectantly.
[Yes?] (Nina)
[Well, what you said reminded me…you left your old world behind by choice, right? Azazel said the Elder Dragons came here out of interest, without dying on their home planet first. Given how unhappy you were when we met, I can't help but wonder – why'd you come here in the first place? Wouldn't you have left behind parents or siblings at least, and foregone the company of your own kind?] (Mizuki)
Nina pauses for several moments, seemingly gathering her thoughts, and I sense a trace of bitterness from her.
[I did not have any siblings, and I mentioned before that dragons don't really have friends. At the time, I also didn't think that I'd be effectively isolated from my kind. Azazel said that several Elder Dragons would also be moving to Azura. I never thought we'd all be so incompatible with one another's company. As for my parents, well…] (Nina)
I sense a moderate rush of anger from Nina.
[My mother was killed by a rival of my father in a power struggle for territory, and my father abandoned me after that. Male dragons are not particularly attentive to their young, but...I was especially neglected. Even on my home planet, I was weaker than most, and my father considered me a disgrace. Like you, I have no bonds tying me to my old world.] (Nina)
Nina turns to face me with an uncharacteristically serious expression, and her green eyes pierce into me.
[Though you did not ask, I would never abandon you either, Mizuki. You are my mate for life – the person I will never tolerate being without.] (Nina)
At first, I'm taken aback by the unexpected severity of her tone. But after a few seconds, I just smirk at her and nod.
[Good…I'm glad we're on the same page.] (Mizuki)
Nina nods seriously, then her expression slowly softens into a mischievous smile.
[Mizuki, speaking of parents and offspring…hmm. I have questions…] (Nina)
That's…ominous. I give Nina a suspicious glare.
[Okay…go ahead…] (Mizuki)
[There are many respects in which I am a dragon at my core. I am dismissive of weak creatures, I value strength, and I detest being deceived. However, in other respects I am…deviant. I can't tolerate the belligerence of the male dragons on Azura, I grow bored easily in isolation, and I appreciate many of your non-dragon qualities. On that subject...I want to know – how many children do you want? What kind of father will you be to them?] (Nina)
Jesus Christ…what a loaded question. Does she really want me to answer stuff that heavy right now?