I walked into the sanctuary still carrying a whole swirl of emotions from the week. Before taking a seat with my friends, I stopped to chat with a few people from church. There's something comforting about familiar faces when your heart feels a little messy.
"I'm really glad I have you both," I said, before turning to Sister Martha.
"Sister Martha, Is that a new hairstyle? It looks amazing."
She just giggled at my words. "How very sweet, dear. I'm so glad that someone noticed. I spent all morning taming my hair."
As I took my seat, I watched the countdown displayed on the screen and started counting down before finally hitting zero as the choir stood up. It was time for praise and worship. I stood with the rest of my congregation, already feeling a little lighter just being here.
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Amazing Grace,
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
I was blind, but now I see.
Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relived.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing
God's praise then, when we first began.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
I was blind, but now I see.
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When they sang, "I once was lost, but now I'm found," it kept echoing throughout my mind. The word "found" felt like such a bold word. Was I found? Or was I still wandering and pretending I had it all figured out? Standing there in the sanctuary, surrounded by voices lifted in worship, I felt both connected and completely alone at the same time.
After we sang two more songs, a young girl stood on the stage to read her poem. She was nervous, but her voice was so steady.
"Hello, everyone! My name is Mariana, and I would like to share a poem with you. I heard this poem a long time ago, and it was written by two of my dearest friends. It's called "Savior to the Broken Heart," and it touched me so deeply. I hope it touches your heart, too.
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Savior to the Broken Heart,
*Father of Orphans, and husband to the windows.
Savior to the broken-hearted, and redeemer of sinners.
*You were pierced for our transgressions, You were crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon You, and by Your wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
*Father, it was Your death on that cross, over two-thousand years ago, that set us free.
*On that fateful day, while shepherds were tending to their sheep, an angel appeared and declared that a child would be born this day in the city of David, a savior, who is Christ the Lord.
*You chose to demonstrate Your love for us on that cross as Pilate led You away to be beaten. You bore 34 lashes from the soldiers.
*After placing a crown of thorns upon Your head as the soldiers gambled for Your clothes by throwing dice.
*"Let's not tear it," they said to one another. "Let's decide by lot who gets it," This happened so that the scripture might be fulfilled that said. "They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. "So this is what the soldiers did. (John 19:24)
*Even this wasn't enough as they yelled crucify Him. As they led You away like a lamb to be slaughtered, up Calvary and nailed You to the cross.
*And then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. "Hail, king of the Jews!" they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him. (Matthew 27: 29:31)
*If only they could remember the miracles You had performed for them.
*When You turned water into wine, as the veil was torn before our eyes. You prayed God forgive them, for they know not what they have done.
*As You prayed father not my will be done, but Your will be done, as You prayed, tears of blood fell from Your eyes.
*The pain You felt when God turned His back on all of our sin as we laid it upon the cross, and three days later You rose from the grave for not even death could stop You.
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"Father of Orphans." Those words hit me harder than I had expected. I am an orphan now, aren't I? Half-orphan, at least. And Mary watching her son die; I thought about mom as she watched dad as he slipped away, and how she watched me as I struggled to accept it. How does anyone prepare for that kind of loss? How does anyone survive it?
It was a beautiful poem that moved me to tears. After that, the pastor took the stage and started his sermon.
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Basic Needs and Spiritual Needs
(Matthew 4:4, NIV)
*Intro. As humans, we have basic and spiritual needs that must be met in order for us to live a full and satisfying life. These can include Fervent Love, Security, Food, and Purpose.
When we don't feel fully satisfied in any of these areas, it can lead to serious problems in our mental, physical, and even spiritual health. For example, if you don't feel safe, you might seek out that security within gangs, which can lead you into destructive behaviors.
On the spiritual side, you might feel numb to things of God, like when you hear that "God will provide," but you don't feel it yourself. How can you believe in something you yourself don't have? The goal of this sermon is to help you understand these needs and how they can help you to live a more fulfilling and complete life.
By understanding and meeting these needs, you will be able to improve your own mental health, physical health, and spiritual health while also being able to better serve those around you.
1) The first thing the Lord's word talks about is Fervent Love in 1 Peter 4:8. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." This Fervent Love the Lord talks about in His word is meant to be shared with one another. These strong feelings of deep love also serve to feel something inside that we ourselves are seeking, and that is the desire to feel and to be loved by others ourselves. It's a deep longing that we often try to feel ourselves without realizing that by loving others, we ourselves will feel that same love back towards us.
2) The second thing the Lord's word talks about is Security in Psalms 18:2-3. "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies." Which means that God desires to be our fortress and stronghold during these difficult times, and He shall save us from our enemies. Without this sense of security, we can become unbalanced, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. This can damage how we perceive those around us, causing us to react destructively and even become defensive toward others.
3) The third thing the Lord's word talks about is food in Matthew 4:4. Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." What the Lord is telling us is that we can't rely on just food alone to sustain us. Although we require food daily for nutrients, energy, and to maintain our bodies' basic functions. This alone isn't enough to sustain us; we require the Lord's word to be consumed daily.
4) The fourth thing the Lord's word talks about is Pastoral Support in 1 Peter 5:2-3. "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
5) The last thing the Lord's word talks about is purpose in 1 Peter 4:10. "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." The Lord has given each of us gifts designed for serving Him and we should use them wisely for His honor and glory.
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I couldn't listen anymore. The words from the sermon, the poem, and everything else were just too much. My heart felt heavy, and before I could stop myself, I stood up and walked out.
Security. Love. The very things I've been searching for my whole life, and here they are, laid out so plainly. But hearing about them and actually feeling them are two completely different things. How can God be my security when I feel so vulnerable all the time? How can I love others deeply when I'm terrified that they'll just leave me, as everyone else has?