Hentai Shinobi Rule 62: Every Hentai Shinobi either falls for the bait or masters it, becoming a master-baiter.
***
Her cheeks wouldn't stop burning, not since she'd handed the rights to her face to that annoying asshole who she'd grown to adore and call a friend. Mikoto quietly sat in her room. Was it even a punishment? The Uchiha knew better because she certainly enjoyed the attention Kai poured onto her face with every teasing pinch…
Not that she would show any of it!
Mikoto was deceptively more cunning than that.
Well, it all began with adopting a calculated risk by agreeing with Orochimaru to become one of the hostages—an act her father was most displeased with after the fact and appropriately punished her by increasing her training. See? Mikoto wanted more training. How else would she surpass Kai? If that was out of the equation, in what world did she want to be left behind… not that her friends would leave her. Kai made sure to demonstrate that during his exam.
"Kuuuu!"
Mikoto covered her face and slumped into her mattress, rolling around agitatedly as her heartbeat skyrocketed at the memory. It was irrational. It was illogical. She should feel sinful to even be a part of her friend's obstruction!
But she didn't.
'Does that make me a bad friend?' Mikoto paused, peeking at their team's portrait through the gaps in her fingers. 'Nah… I'm allowed to be an asshole sometimes, too. That's one of the first things I picked from Kai.'
Her toes curled as she giggled giddily.
'He returned for us~!'
She began rolling on her mattress again.
The fate she and Kushina would have suffered had Kai not chosen such a route wasn't lost on her. And Mikoto believed she wouldn't have held any resentment against Kai. At this point, Kai deserved to be a Jonin. However, Orochimaru's words were persuading enough. He and Jiraiya were mainly cut out of the same cloth when it came to beguiling others with speech. Not even Tsunade was aware of Sakumo's intrigues and plans.
Yet, it would be a lie for Mikoto to admit she wouldn't want Kai to make the same decisions again after knowing how it all ended. It was a supremely selfish thought, but Mikoto couldn't help it.
'First, he didn't want us to dirty our hands…' she thought with surprisingly dark and obsessive glee. 'And now, this…' Her giggles echoed in the dead of the night. There were only so many times she could blame her Uchiha heritage and the circumstances around her Sharingan's awakening in her lonesome. She'd long learned to control her urges, especially the deep and particularly enticing ones. Yet, Kai HAD to test her mastery every night.
Her gaze remained rooted in their portrait.
'But I wish he didn't pass,' Mikoto's body relaxed as she sighed. A wave of gloominess swept her earlier giddiness, leaving her uncertain about the future. After all, what was the only successful bait Orochimaru and Jiraiya could have used to lure the duo into wanting to jeopardize Kai's promotion?
Well, the truth.
'Every Jonin will be called upon for the future conflict. I didn't know things had already grown so tense… Kai… he'll be forced to battle, too.'
Unbridled concern pressed into her chest as Mikoto blankly stared at the ceiling.
Undoubtedly, Orochimaru's and Jiraiya's version of the truth was modified. They chose to reveal the result of Kai's promotion but not its true intentions, wanting to respect the youth's privacy.
'Kai sure had his fun during the party,' Mikoto touched her slightly swollen cheeks, allowing a soft smile on her features. 'He's probably thinking about how to abuse Kushina's and my situation even more…' She blinked, regaining her earlier mischief. 'Maybe that's my chance! Tsunade-Sensei isn't the only one around… pervert,' sighed the pot.
<<<>>>
[Konoha's Chunin: You took your second step into becoming part of the system meant to protect the younger generation yet perverted to become its butcher. Congratulations! Should you die, Konohagakure will celebrate your sacrifice with great joy and enthusiasm!
Effects: Unlocks the Support Technique Skill Tree; Reduces the requirement of leveling any skill originating from the Support Technique Skill Tree by 20% (Active); Modest favorability boost for Konoha's Hokage.]
[Konoha's Jonin: You took your third step into becoming a well-received figure meant to wield the very blade necessary to cull the opposition—whether innocent or deserving. Congratulations! Should you die, Konohagakure will finally mourn its investment!
Effects: Unlocks Elemental Ninjutsu Skill Tree; Reduces the requirement of leveling any skill originating from the Elementary Taijutsu, Elementary Bukijutsu Skill, Support Technique, and Elemental Ninjutsu Skill Tree by 40% (Active); Significant favorability boost for Konoha's Hokage.]
[Image Here]
Of the two new unlocked Skill Trees, the Elemental Ninjutsu Skill Tree was the basic stuff seen from the average Jonin—the elemental clones, constructs of different elements, and their respective chakra flow. Kai had already experienced the Lightning Chakra Flow variants against Ameyuri Ringo and Sakumo Hatake.
Meanwhile, Kai had already unlocked and mastered some of the Support Techniques Skill Tree skills. Among these, [Chakra Flow] and [Shape Transformation] were also shared with the General Chakra Applications Skill Tree.
An interesting observation was how the Skill Trees followed the same pattern Mito had advised Kai and Kushina to follow. The experienced Kyubi's Vessel was against the thought of Kai and Kushina practicing elemental Ninjutsu without mastering the practice of the corresponding Nature Transformation. Of course, Kushina and Mikoto had yet to embark on such a journey because they were busy fucking around!
'Huff,' Kai furrowed his brows. 'I need to beat some more motivation for training into those two. I won't be around forever.' He crossed his arms. 'I'll probably be designated outside Konoha once the conflict rises. It would be a damn shame if those two wasted their time instead of becoming powerhouses their chakra reserves and talent can allow them to be.'
He still wasn't aware of what magic words Jiraiya and Orochimaru spoke to sway the duo's mind. Regardless, he shook his head and focused on the new branches of the ever-present and giving grind.
'Being a Jonin didn't unlock the Hidens and other Forbidden Jutsu. Heck, I didn't even get something as common as the Shadow Clone Jutsu. It means there is much more to get. Obviously, getting the clan-specific Hiden is going to be more challenging. However, I don't need them right now. But I should consider diverting some time and attention onto Cinnamon.'
He didn't plan to leave his adorable MVP behind. It was only right that Cinnamon join in with the training since she might have the potential to be more than just a pet. She was already intelligent enough to register simple commands, which was encouraging.
And Kai continued to make strict decisions with a heavy heart.
'If I have to become someone capable of outperforming a Jinchuriki, I need to git gud. I can't be wasting my time plowing Mito-Sama's hot mouth… ugh, but I really wanna!' He grunted. 'No! Not yet…! Just focus on Ameyuri and stop fucking around.'
He nodded, affirming his decision.
'I'll get my answers and leave her be based on her decision. The worst possible scenario is her end, but what else can I do?'
Determined, Kai was about to unseal Ameyuri and terrorize her with his magical fingers when—
*Knock*
*Knock*
A pulse of chakra with Kai at its center identified the rude interrupter as the redhead who'd been cheeky enough for the day. Grunting, Kai sauntered over to the door and flung it open. The sudden intensity of the movement made Kushina flinch as her grip around her pillow unconsciously tightened.
Though Kai had given the duo enough grief for the day, he felt it was too little. Instead, he planned to sprinkle hot mess in their lives until he was deployed elsewhere—hopefully to a more bloody affair.
So, the gap between Kai and Kushina thickened with silence. One appeared unperturbed, still not in his nightwear. Meanwhile, the red glanced away in a humbled fluster, her other hand playing with the fabric of her velvety top.
"K-Kai-Chan—"
"What?" Kai cut through sharply, his brow lifting inquisitively. His cold stare afforded the redhead no compassion. Well, the punishment certainly fit the crime with how sullen and down Kushina looked, almost cracking Kai's mask. But a quiet exhale refueled that determination. He didn't know what foolishness drove the duo into acting so stupid, but he would be unfit to be Team 9's healer if he didn't try beating that stupidity out of them.
No reason should have been enough to do what they did!
"I…" Kushina swallowed, fidgeting where she stood. "Can I stay here?"
Kai furrowed his brows, his response more than blunt and humiliating.
"Why? Did you wet your bed or something?"
"No!" Kushina snapped instantly before looking down. "I just… wanna be in your room tonight."
"No dice."
"Please," Kushina met his gaze with a pleading look.
"Oh, that changes everything," Kai gasped, allowing Kushina some hope.
"Really, dattebane?" She perked up, clutching the pillow to her chest with hope instead of dragging it in one hand.
"Nope. You see, that was sarcasm," Kai scoffed dryly. He crossed his arms and began to tap his foot impatiently. "Look, I need to hit the archives early tomorrow morning. Don't waste my time, 'kay?"
Kushina bit her bottom lip, unmoved.
"Don't make me call Mito-Sama," Kai warned with an appropriate threat. "She'd turn your stupid bum red—"
Kushina suddenly shoved Kai and flickered into his room. She instantly slumped on his bed, curled like a frozen shrimp.
"Oi!" Kai scowled. "I'm getting a little pissed off, you know. If you can't even handle a 'no,' then learn to stop fucking around!"
*Sniff*
Kai's body momentarily froze when he saw Kushina shudder. Soft sobs and sniffs echoed in Kai's quarter as he deadpanned.
"Yeah," he grumbled. "That won't work on me today. I'll drag your ass back to your room if I have to."
"You're… my guardian," sobs and hicks choked Kushina's words as she curled further. "But you lied, dattebane. I know why you want to become a jonin."
She sniffed, unwilling to look at him as Kai's room charged with surprising tension.
"You… do?" Kai swallowed a nervous lump.
It's over. She knows.
Why did Hiruzen have to blabber it all to Jiraiya? Kai cursed under his breath, his anger sizzling away.
"Kushina…" He gulped, unaware of how to approach such a topic. He never expected Kushina to cry because of it. Then again, he wouldn't be laughing and clapping his hands like a monkey if he'd been informed Kushina wanted to carve a bloody name for herself because she wanted to protect Kai through said reputation.
"You're so cruel and mean," she continued through her sorrowful sobs. "You know what happens in a war. Why would you do that to me?" She cried. "You're my guardian, dattebane… you can't protect me if you're dead!"
Kai looked at his feet, momentarily stumped. It wasn't the first time he'd been forced to speechlessness, but he was getting better with the recovery.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Kai muttered as he closed the door. He quietly approached his bed after dealing with the lights.
He could always have at Ameyuri another day. Though wildly intriguing, the Elite Kunoichi didn't hold a candle to a crying Kushina as Kai slid onto his bed with a blank stare. Their bodies had grown. Sharing the single mattress meant for Kushina to scooch further against the wall. With her back curled and pressed against Kai's arm, he could feel her trembling spin.
"Then why did you want to join the war?" Kushina questioned, turning around to face him. Though the room was dark, Kai's enhanced senses picked on the tears staining her face and running sideways through the bridge of her nose.
'Eh?' Kai blinked. She didn't know? He shouldn't have cursed Hiruzen's coming nine generations. But what was done couldn't be undone.
"I," Kai began evenly, trying to find another reason than the truth, for it would bloat the cheeky redhead's ego beyond any conceivable ceiling. On second thought, he had other reasons, too—less concerning ones. "You're going to be the Kyubi's vessel," he whispered. "I don't know when it would happen."
'If ever.' Kai recalled the blowjob of his lifetime.
"But I want to prepare myself for that day. The stronger I am, the better."
Kushina stared at the youth, threatening to burn two holes through his skull with those intense violet orbs.
"O-Oh," she stammered, sniffing loudly before lying on her back straight.
"Why didn't you say anything?" She grumbled.
"Why didn't you ask?" Kai snorted. "So? Was that it?" He inquired. "You volunteered to become a hostage because you didn't want me to go? Because you were worried?"
"N-No!" Kushina scoffed. "Who'd worry for a pervert like you? Nobody cares about you, Kai-Chan!"
"Heh ~ !" Kai sat up, grinning. "You were so worried! Oh, how I was so cruel and mean!"
"Shut up!" Kushina snapped. "Say whatever you want! You're my guardian as much as I'm yours! Hmph, I'll make sure you NEVER leave me! No wars for stupid Kai-Chan!"
"We'll see," Kai shrugged as Kushina scoffed again, indicating she wouldn't let this matter rest. But for now, she had something else in mind.
"Say, Kai-Chan…"
"Hn?"
"You remember what you told us back in the academy? That stuff about Tsunade-Sensei?"
Kai pursed his lips. He should have never committed such a folly. But then again, the fact these two idiots did what they did because of him… well, heartwarming was a word for it. So were the 'fuzzy butterflies in the stomach.' However, Kai didn't get butterflies…
He's no Shinobi like those insect-breeding Aburames.
"What about it?"
"Are your sheets clean?"
Kai almost fell down his mattress as he snapped.
"Just sleep!"
"Hmph, a proper lady like me has to make sure!"
A slightly weird sound echoed from Kushina before Kai's enhanced senses picked something annoying.
"Yeah, a proper lady just happens to fart—"
"Shut up!" It was Kushina's turn to snap as she instantly turned sideways to face the wall.
"Ack! Moron! It smells!"
"That's your punishment!"
"I literally did nothing wrong!"
"Well," Kushina continued stubbornly. "You will do something stupid eventually. I know you!"
"Hmph!"
"Hmph!"
The duo grew silent for a while until Kai spoke softly.
"You know," he admitted. "I think being your guardian is a cool thing, Kushina. I mean, can't fault you for trying to look after me."
He glanced at her, only meeting her back. "Oi? You already fell asleep?"
Soon, a teasing smirk graced his features.
He quietly pulled the sheets above Kushina, whispering. "I know I call you names like Farty and Bubbles… but you're also one of the only good friends I have to call names."
His intentions, of course, were far more sinister.
Why would a youth forced into puberty and its accompanying urges far earlier than the norms act all coy with a young girl experiencing similar things due to the element they shared—chakra?
Why would he lean over to her, whispering gently?—
"Thank you for looking after me," he continued. "And I won't stop getting better."
— of course, it was for—
"So, I need to keep up with training. Sleep tight." He kissed her forehead with practiced ease, swiftly slipping out his quarter and leaving Kushina, who experienced smoke escaping her ears.
—the grind!—
{A/N: And with that, the Multiversal FBI rest easy, knowing Kai is many things but a pre-ordering freak.}
<<<>>>
Alternate Title: Can't Believe Kai Was The Bay Harbor Butcher; Kexter Morgan; Serial Fucker; Kai's Truly Easy; Easily Bending At Kushina's Whims; Kai To Others: Peak Menace (Peak Menace To Kushina: Adorable Munchkin); Kushina and Mikoto Once They Realize Kai Knows: It's Over. He kNoWS; Mikoto And Kushina Got That Annoying Rizz; Kai: Does Literally Nothing (Mikoto To Her Portrait: Are You Challenging Me?); Face Rights Sold; Mikoto Needs To Offer The Blowjob Coupon; A Proper Lady Does Fart: Basic Biology; New Titles; New Skill Tree; New Grind; Shared Bed; Kai, The Grind Freak; Kai Knows; Manipulation For Grind; Peak Cinnamon Arc Coming Soon?; Kushina: The Guardian's Guardian
***
Join the discord through the link in the synopsis.
Read 30 chapters ahead @ Patron and Subscribe Star (Links in the synopsis.)
Support the Fanfic through comments, likes, reviews and such (if the published site allows it.)