The morning had arisen after the terrifying night Kousuke had spent in his sleep. It took a while for him to calm down after that encounter with Byakurai in his mind, Rina had to stay with him the entire night to make sure he didn't do anything to hurt himself again from his panic.
After finally being able to sleep when he was able to calm down, Kousuke finally awoke from his restless slumber, his head was spinning, and he couldn't remember what it was at the moment that made him feel this way except for the side effects of his head hurting from the encounter. He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and eyes weakly, still feeling the effects of Byakurai's attack. He was about to get up to wash his face and grab a drink of water, when he felt pinned down.
His eyes darted to the left to see where the source was, and then he saw what was holding him.
Rina was asleep next to him. She had an arm across his chest, the other on her pillow next to her face. One of her legs was across the top of his legs, with the other snuggled next to his left leg.
Kousuke couldn't believe what was going on, or how she got into this position with him. His face glowed bright red with his nose getting a slight bleed from how hot he felt being wrapped up in her embrace. It was almost an ideal situation for most, but for him, this was a very bad setup.
"Rina, hey, you awake?" Kousuke couldn't speak a word clearly, he was stuttering in panic. Rina groaned a bit, she was slowly waking up, rubbing her eyes. Rina was half awake when she heard Kousuke call her.
"Mmmh, Ohayou." She said in a barely awake voice.
"Can you get off me please?" Kouske begged with his breaking trying to keep his hormones in check from taking advantage of the situation.
She was confused at first with the request, till she saw how she was positioned next to Kousuke. Her face turned red as she frantically got herself off him, sitting at the edge of the bed embarrassed.
Kousuke sat up, he was also trying to calm himself down before his libido would do something to make the situation worse.
"Umm, so, what happened last night?" He tried to ask to break the tension in the room.
Rina was startled for a bit, he didn't remember the panic attack he had. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't want him to remember what it was that made him into that mental state last night.
"I….I sleepwalked in here probably. I didn't sleep well last night, I'm sorry." Kousuke didn't know if it was true or not, because his memory of the encounter with Byakurai was temporarily blank. His mind had subconsciously buried it to protect himself.
"You're not mad are you?"
"No, it's ok, if you weren't trying to pull something on purpose it's ok."
Rina could see his body shaking still even if it was a small amount of it. It was still bothering him even if he didn't realize it.
"Hey, why don't you take a cold shower to wake yourself up a bit more, I can make you breakfast."
"You can cook?" He asked in surprise.
"Not very well, but I can make you something simple."
Kousuke let her do it, he was still feeling uneasy after last night. Rina headed to the kitchen to make breakfast for him looking back to make sure he wasn't going to pull something after she reached the door to leave.
Rina decided to make him toast and porridge, the meal her mom made her when she was a kid when she was sick or had a bad sleep. She was thinking back on his facial expression when he had his panic attack. She recognized it because she had one when she was younger.
'What was he dreaming about? He's been seeing Izumi-Sensei for counseling, I thought he was getting better from what he said at school. And the inhaler, has he been using that this whole time to deal with his anxiety? That had to have been something so extreme that it terrified him badly enough to make him break down in absolute terror. He wouldn't have asked me to grab his inhaler if he wasn't afraid of what would have happened next. If I wasn't there to calm him down who knows what would have happened.'
She was slow in making the food at the moment, she was thinking of Kousuke's mental health and what triggered him, she worried about him losing all that progress he worked hard on, or risking hurting himself.
Kousuke was leaning forward in his shower as the cold water splashed on his back. His hands were on the wall, his head looking at the ground as he was in deep thought. He was trying to understand what was making him uneasy. It poked his brain deep inside, just bugging him horribly.
Kousuke tried to remember, he concentrated his thoughts on trying to find the memory from last night. The image training technique he used in sleep allowed him to remember everything in detail even if it was blocked out long as he could find the source in his mind.
'I need to remember what happened. Focus, on what happened last night. Focus on the opponent I had, I know it was the image of Ryuji I was training against last. But what happened afterward? Come on, concentrate, what happened?'
Kousuke reached hard further into the garbled memory, he could see nothingness in it at the moment. After taking his time to piece it together bit by bit, a small figure appeared, which repeated the same words to Kousuke.
"Lost Ronin, Twing Fangs, Mizuno Family."
The words didn't make sense to him, and he tried harder to dig deep into the memory. The effort he was making made him see a horrible shadowy figure that lashed out at him with a terrifying roar.
Kousuke stopped the concentration, he didn't want to see that again.
His heart started racing, and his breathing was panicked and uneasy. The anxiety was getting to him, his flames were starting to come out on their own again, If it wasn't for the water from the shower turning them into steam, he would have looked like a birthday candle. The steam turned his bathroom into a sauna with how much water was dousing the small flicker of flames.
Kousuke had to calm down. He didn't want to cause worry for Rina outside.
'Breathe, breathe, calm down, don't lose control. Calm down, don't lose control, don't lose your control again.'
His breaths were slow, and deep, each breath had to be as zen as possible. The more he did it, the more his heart rate became steady. The small flicker of flames went away as he became calmer. He was able to stop the panic in his mind, extinguishing the flames from coming out.
'What the hell was that? That thing? I don't know if I've seen it before. But it feels like I have. Just what was it?'
A knock was heard on the door. Rina was calling for Kousuke that the food was ready for him.
"Hey Kousuke, breakfast is ready. Come out when you're good."
Kousuke called out ok to her. He decided to forget the situation for now when he was in a better headspace.
He ate at the small table with Rina in the kitchen space, the table was big enough for three people at least.
The porridge Rina made was nice, it was warm and went down smoothly.
Rina was carefully looking at him, she was making sure she to not miss anything if he acted out again.
"Something wrong?"
"Hmm?"
"You've been staring at me for a while. Something on your mind?" He was feeling uncomfortable with the deep stares Rina made at him.
"No, nothing. Just appreciative you allowed me to stay over. Thank you for that."
Kousuke knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. She was hiding something.
Rina's phone was going off, so she asked to be excused to answer it. The voice on the other end shook her, she asked to answer outside the house for privacy. Kousuke could see she was bothered, so he let her out of respect for her.
Rina walked to the side of the house. She picked the phone back up to her ear. The voice was old, the sound of a woman in her late 80s, with the voice of a cold commanding boss.
"Are you free to listen now?" The voice asked.
"Yes, I am Yozora Oku-San. What is it you wish of me?" Rina asked in a cold militant voice.
"I need you to meet me in three hours at our restaurant. We have a business matter to discuss"
Rina clenched her free hand. She knew where this was heading, it was planned for her when she was younger. Just never thought it would be this soon.
"Yozora Oku-San, is it necessary? I wish to live peacefully pursuing my education and dream. Can we talk about it when I'm older?" Rina pleaded.
"No. You don't have a say in the matter. A 'bastard' must do what they're told to you if you wish to stay in the family graces. Is that clear to you?"
The nails dug into the skin as she heard that. Rina gave in and agreed. She slammed her hand into the wall of the house. She was going to leave Kousuke against her will all for a woman who couldn't care less about her life and wants, only her schemes.
'Damnitt I thought I had more time. I don't want this. I wanna stay. I wanna stay with my friends. I promised Kousuke I wouldn't leave him alone.'
Rina wiped the sobs from her eyes. She had to face the music whether she wanted to or not.
Rina went back inside to say goodbye to Kousuke, she wanted to at least be courteous to him inside just ghosting. She saw he was cleaning the dishes when she walked in, looking in a better mood than he had earlier.
"Oh, hey Rina you ok? You look pale." He asked after seeing her stand still for a moment.
Rina was silent for a minute, she couldn't answer the question properly without sounding defeated. She looked at Kousuke doing her best to keep a straight face.
"I'm ok don't worry. Listen I have to go now. Something important came up."
Kousuke saw it in her eyes and tone of voice that something was bothering her badly. He wanted to ask her but wasn't sure if it was a good idea. It may have been a personal matter he would have intruded on that either had a bad outcome for him or made her feel imposed on like he was being nosey with her life.
"Well, ok. I can call you a ride to your house so you can get changed there should be some available now with Christmas being over. I'm almost done with dishes here too so I can pack up some of the leftover sweets for you if you..."
Rina walked up behind him when he was talking. She grabbed him from behind, her arms around his chest, her forehead snuggled on his back.
Kousuke wasn't expecting that, he stopped cleaning the dishes and paused in the moment of her holding him. The embrace was strong but not a threatening one. More just one that felt like there was an emotional attachment in it.
"Uh, Rina, what are you…."
"Please, don't turn around yet. Can we just stay like this for a while?" She said weakly cutting him off.
Rina didn't want him to see her face. Her eyes were filled with sadness, her cheeks a dim red from her emotional state. Kousuke could feel it, she was hurting. He had never seen her break down before. Frustration maybe, when she scored badly on a test or tried to catch a shoplifter.
This was different. It was the feeling he had before he jumped off the apartment building, the feeling of despair.
"Kousuke, can I ask you something honestly?"
"Yes." He replied.
"How do you feel about Itsuki, about Natsume, me? How do you really feel about us?"
Kousuke was taken aback. He wasn't sure how to answer that. They all were important to him with both their good and bad quirks. Even if he didn't say it out loud, or got annoyed when they did something to him that felt like a troupe, he still valued them.
"Where's this coming from?"
"Please. Just answer me." Her voice was breaking as she asked. Kousuke couldn't ignore that request now. It would have been disrespectful to Rina.
"Well, I can't say for certain right now. I don't even know what I feel in all honesty with my broken head the way it is. Truthfully too I'm not good at saying what I feel either so it may come out sounding dumb. But I can try to answer the best I can. Itsuki's been my friend since we were kids. She's a fairytale-obsessed fool who gets jealous easily when I'm around other girls even at work, is bad with her feelings, and overall boasts when it comes to making me spend time with her. We may have been apart for a while after I left for the military school but she always kept in touch even when I didn't. She tries her best for me without asking for anything back, she takes everything I do without complaining, and she has always been there for me when I needed any help. I'm comfortable being around her and she knows what to say to set me straight, even if she does do it with some violent means."
Rina could hear his admiration in his tone, she wouldn't speak up till he finished.
"Natsume, well she's a big pain in the ass at times. She's probably the first girl I know personally I would be tempted to pull a bad prank on or just scream at her with her insistence to do stuff with me even if I end up with the fallback every time. She's always flirting or using her well-endowed assets to mess with me. She's always trying to get my attention even when Itsuki's around. But, she's not an airhead like most people think she is. When we do meetings for the student council she's always trying her hardest to make sure the clubs are well-financed and looked out for, she listens to the girls' problems even when she's busy with mountains of paperwork she listens to every single problem. She'll give up her lunch to someone who's starving while doing her cutesy girl act on someone she crushes on. I think compared to her I'm not that good at expressing myself, but, she's a lot more caring than people think. I think that's why she's become a good friend to me because of how she can be herself even when others think she's different at times. She still gets on my nerves at times but granted I'm not the most well-tempered I just learn to deal with it."
"And me?" She finally asked.
Kousuke wanted to say the right words for her. He said what he thought of the other two because he was being honest. He wanted to be honest with Rina, he didn't know how to put his feelings into words for her.
The warmth of her hug had clicked in his head. The reason she was next to him sleeping, was because he must have had a panic attack last night, it had to have been from the dream he was trying to remember that spooked him in the shower. Rina held him to calm him down, she stayed the entire night till he fell asleep.
'How could I forget that? Even if I didn't remember what triggered me I should have remembered her helping me. Is this why she feels so upset? Like I threw away her kindness? Damn, I'm such an idiot. At least the best thing I can do is be honest with her.'
"Honestly, I think you're amazing. You work so hard at school, and at your job, you're always putting everyone else's needs before yours. When you met me and Itsuki you helped me out when she was getting me clothes, you always come by the cafe to ask about how I'm doing during your free time, but it's cause you don't like seeing me alone, don't you? I may have all of you as friends but I'm alone here in this house. I don't like admitting it, in fact, I hate the idea of admitting it. You came here to make sure I wasn't by myself on Christmas, It may have been luck that Tatsuya and Erika came here but if they didn't I would have had you here at least. Yeah, I think that's what I think of you. Someone who won't let people be alone, makes them feel wanted. Like how I love having you around, wanting you around makes me happy."
Rina let out a few tears that hit Kousuke's back. She felt so overjoyed, that she couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Kousuke, you said you couldn't get me a gift yesterday, but I think you have. I gave you a Christmas gift but can you turn around I have something to give you for a birthday gift."
Kousuke did what she asked. He slowly turned around to look at Rina, Kousuke didn't react in time, more like it was because he didn't expect it from Rina at all.
Rina jumped forward and kissed him. The kiss she tried in his sleep, the one she felt guilty of, she did it this time. This one felt right, it was an honest kiss from the heart. Kousuke's eyes stayed open from shock, it wasn't what he was expecting at all.
Rina stopped her kiss to look Kousuke in the eyes. He could see she was happy while filled with sorrow.
"Thank you. For at least letting me have this. You are a good person. Don't ever change that, please. I may not see you much for a while. But at least this was the best day of my life. Thank you."
Rina let go to grab her things, she had ordered her ride earlier before coming inside the house. Kousuke watched her drive off, his fingers touched his lips remembering the kiss.
'That was my first kiss. In both lives, that was the first I've ever gotten. But still, why did she look so broken? Rina, what was that phone call you got?'