Chapter 50: volume 2, chapter 1: Dreams of love.
Tsunade was not intending to stay. Especially not after the stunt that Jiraiya pulled when he came to get her. She had absolutely no interest in the ensuing drama that would follow his newest tactic to bed her.
Especially if he meant it.
So she hoped to get home, spend a few weeks kissing up to her sensei and being his good little healer then maybe fake a breakdown—or more plausibly have an actual breakdown—then use the resulting sympathy to go back on the road.
Then she stepped back into the Hospital.
The hustle and bustle of medical professionals saving others, the smell of antiseptic, the urgent anxiety of lives on the line. The call of her purpose: her Identity.
She tried to deny it then but it was already too late. She was hooked.
The next few weeks were spent frantically cleaning up the absolute mess the medical division had fallen to in her absence. Her hemophobia kept her from surgery but her knowledge was invaluable as a diagnostician. Seeing as she was by far the most knowledgeable medic nin in the village—which was a damn shame, she would have thought someone would have had the talent and willpower to at least come close. She made eighty percent of the jutsu she had invented available to the Konoha military for a reason. The fact after all these years away from the village no one stepped up to even try and take her place was infuriating.
That alone would have kept her in the village for months, maybe years, then another wrench was thrown into the mix.
Naruko Uzumaki. The blonde whirlwind of love and mischief that called her Oba. Kushina would have laughed her ass off at anyone having the stones to call her Oba. Ironic that it was her kid that ended up doing it.
Kushina… that girl. Tsunade sighed to herself.
If her little cousin had told her she intended to marry the Namikaze boy she would have told her not to do it. Men like him. Men like that: heroes. Their lives only ended one way, and those ends usually had a blast radius.
Naruko was a survivor of that explosive end and somehow came out the other end a ball of love and sunshine. Now the thought of leaving that ball of sunshine to the mercy of this village and its leadership turned her stomach.
And sure her sensei and Jiraiya seemed to be turning the ship around but she wasn't holding her breath. Her grandfather had been all but a god in the flesh and even he couldn't get the mad fucks that call themselves shinobi to even simulate some sort of peace. She wished her sensei and teammate the best of luck but she didn't get her hopes up.
All of that was horrible enough not to mention the newest addition to 'things in the leaf that tugged on Tsunade's heart strings'.
"Good afternoon, Tsunade-sama." Itachi Uchiha greeted her as he entered the examination room she had set aside for this appointment with his partner in tow.
"Yo." was Mitarashi's acquiescence to formality. She should be grateful there weren't any swear words.
Tsunade liked her.
Wordlessly and without prompt Itachi sat on the examination table and removed his teal shirt to reveal his pale, toned torso. Ignoring how Mitarashi all but swooned in the background, Tsunade made a handsign to reveal a number of seals that had remained hidden on his skin.
"How has the cough been? Any recent blood?" Tusnade asked as she inspected the medical fuin she had inked into his back months ago, monitoring their progress and recharging them with medical chakra as necessary.
"No blood, Tsunade-sama." was his reply.
"Yeah, no blood, just lots and lots of the nastiest brown stuff you've ever seen." Mitarashi cut in, not allowing him to downplay his condition in the slightest.
Itachi himself did not deny it. She would have blamed his urge to downplay his condition on machismo if she hadn't gotten to know the young man over his time under her care.
He was a sweet kid, observant and empathetic and a sponge for information. He learnt everything he was taught and he learnt it well. Too well.
He was a good shinobi, and like most shinobi he considered himself a tool, and in the end it didn't matter if a tool was deteriorating if it could be replaced later and it was still good enough to do its job in the here and now.
It made Tsunade hate the world even more—the thought that really did her in was the fact that maybe, if the shinobi system had broken Nawaki just as thoroughly, he would have followed orders better.
He would still be alive.
She shoved those thoughts down into the dark pit in her soul that she regularly watered with sake and focused on her patient.
When she had gotten him, he had been damn near terminal, he would be considered terminal for anyone else but herself. Having to crack open her fuinjutsu scrolls again had been a fucking nuisance. Jiraiya couldn't even help, too busy training Naruko and getting involved with running the village so she had to devise all the seal work on her own.
It took her a couple tries but she got it right and now, young Itachi was on his way to recovery. Soon he would be strong enough to die for his village, though not before probably leaving a pregnant partner behind.
But you know…. Will of Fire and all that.
She was way too sober for this appointment.
"Jiraiya-sama."
Speaking of being too sober.
Itachi's greeting drew her attention to her teammate who actually used the door instead of a window. He must be really serious about the Hat if he was paying this much attention to decorum.
Itachi shifted in his presence.
The light had gone out of his eyes as soon as he set them on his superior and for that moment Itachi ceased to exist as Weasel came to the fore.
"At ease." Jiraiya ordered.
Then Itachi was back again.
Damn, Danzo had been one mad fucker. She could only imagine the amount of kids he did this to and how many of them came out the other end way less adjusted than Itachi.
Thankfully she wasn't a shrink, she would leave that kind of healing to the Yamanaka. She had her own problems.
"What's the occasion Jiraiya? I'm working." she said, turning her attention to the seals on her patient's temples meant to slow the deterioration of his eyes. She hadn't had much success with that part of his treatment.
"What, I can't drop by to see my favourite teammate?" the toad sage asked with a cheeky smile.
She gave him a look more arid than any strip of Wind Country.
"It's graduation day." Jiraya said with a chuckle, his arms raised in surrender.
Tsunade blinked in surprise.
"Time flies huh?" Jiraiya chuckled. "Felt like it was just yesterday the Brat was learning to waterwalk." he said with a wistful smile.
"But enough with the nostalgia." Jiraiya said, walking up to her and offering the crook of his arm.
"We have somewhere to be, don't we?"
XXXXXXXXX
The silence of the classroom was occasionally interrupted by the unusually loud tick of the clock right above Iruka-sensei's desk. It was a psychological tactic, to stress out the students. A preamble to the pressures they would have to operate under as active shinobi.
This was the written portion of the exam.
Before any of the practical exams, this hurdle had to be passed first. A comprehensive test of the examinees' understanding of the basic theory behind shinobi craft, a relatively easy test to pass, but an incredibly difficult one to ace.
Naruko hated it.
Ninja were about action! About going out into the world and doing stuff! When has all this stupid book stuff ever helped anyone? Never that's when.
She still had to get a passing grade though.
It was just so frustrating, she had never been good at tests, putting what she knew into words had always been harder for her than just doing it. Which she thought was the way things are supposed to be, who wants to be better at writing about stuff than doing them?
Even then, why do they keep asking questions about stuff she was never gonna have anything to do with anyway. Like who cares what the third Raikage was most known for during the second Shinobi War?
Obviously it was using the lightning armour jutsu to injure the Eight-Tails, but what use was knowing that anyway?!
Wait, how did she know that?
It was with some bewilderment and increasing joy that she flipped through page after page and realised that she knew the answers to everything. But how?!
Then she was hit by a memory of last night, of sitting at the dining table after dinner. Jiji in his corner looking out the window as he always was and Kono-chan already in bed. She remembered her sitting there writing out some seals but with a ninshu connection set up between her and Izuku, of listening to his whirling mind as background music as she went about her own things.
His ruminations on, on jutsu, fuinjutsu, and history. She didn't know at the time but through all those nights of just sitting by him and listening to him think, she had picked up a lot. Enough to barely understand him when he was talking about his more complicated projects.
But that bare minimum was more than enough to decimate the Genin exams.
The students seated around the blonde jinchuriki flinched away as she began to furiously fill out her test sheet with a mad cackle on her lips.
XXXXXXXXX
"I did it!" Naruko yelled as she dashed out of the academy gate, forehead protector gleaming on her head, and swooped down to sweep up an unsuspecting Konohamaru into her arms.
"Naruko-neechan, nooooo! Not in front of my friends!" the young Sarutobi wailed, as he was disgraced in front of his fellow academy students.
Naruko ignored his cries, throwing him in the air and catching him in her joy. Konohamaru tried to resist but before long, he was giggling at her antics.
"I see things went well." I said with a grin, drawing her attention to where I stood amongst those who came to show our support.
She paused at my words, freezing in place with Konahamaru held in her arms, his small face flushed and his breathing rough from their high altitude play. She stared at me like she was just seeing me for the first time again.
It made me a bit concerned. I would learn shortly that my concern was misplaced.
"Naruko?" I asked in concern. My words drew her out of her daze, and she blinked at me, gently placed Konahamaru back on his feet, then blurred out of sight in one of the fastest body flickers I had ever seen her pull off, right into my personal space.
And stole my breath away with a toe curling kiss.
"I'll take that as a yes." I said in a bit of daze, when she finally let me go.
"You. You're perfect." she said her blue eyes sparkling with affection as she continued to pepper my cheeks with kisses.
"Okay." I replied as my thoughts became more and more muddied.
"The absolute best." she continued her arms wrapping around my torso.
"Uh-huh."
"The greates-"
"Get a room!" someone yelled from off to the side.
"Close your eyes, dog breath!" Naruko fired back immediately.
That abrasive interaction was enough to restart my brain and made me chuckle. Naruko stared off to the side where Kiba watched us with a scrunched face. I chuckled at her reaction and Naruko backed up her face scrunched up, aware that the moment had passed.
Opting to share her joy with others by sweeping Kuro—who had been standing next to me—up in a hug and repeatedly exclaiming her joy at her graduation. Kuro took this affectionate attack on her person with grace and aplomb.
We stood outside of the academy with the other families that also awaited the arrival of their children. We, being sensei, Konohamaru, Kuro and I, with lord Hyuga standing close enough to us to show there was some relation but not close enough to be considered joint entities.
The fact I even clocked that at all showed Ebisu's teachings were sticking despite his constant whinging about Naruko and I not taking our lessons seriously enough.
I tried my best but it was all so… tedious.
I can't believe I had once thought I had a head for politics, give me unnecessarily complex jutsu anyday.
I smiled as Hinata walked her way out of the academy. Her headband around her neck, her stride not truly confident, but not afraid either, none of her earlier self deprecation to be found. Though she withdrew into herself a bit in shyness when she saw us, it was much better than how scared she was when we met.
She had come a long way.
I gave her a gentle smile not approaching so she could attend to her duties.
"Father. I have graduated." She said, approaching her father, untying her protector and offering it to him.
I was aware that this was some kind of ritual to reassert submission. Something to do with all Hyuga only serving the village at their lord's behest or something like that, but I couldn't remember the exact particulars. I probably could if I dived into my mindscape but this wasn't worth that much effort.
"So you have, and you did so as Kunoichi of the year at the top of your class." Hiashi said his tone deadpan and expression neutral as he received her headband with both hands. He inspected it for a moment before handing it back to her with one comment.
"Acceptable."
I almost face palmed at that response but those words seemed to light up Hinata's world. Her face splitting with one of the largest smiles I had ever seen on her face.
"Thank you, father."
Lord Hyuga grunted in vague approval, his gaze wandering over to me before he responded to his daughter.
"You are expected home no later than 7pm where a private celebration will be held." he said, her dismissal implied and about faced, leaving the premises.
She watched her father go with a faint smile before turning to me, her smile growing much wider as I approached. Sadly someone beat me to her.
"Hinata! We did it!" Naruko yelled at the top of her lungs as she dived for Hinata, Kuro still held in her arms and hugged them both, lifting them off the ground in an inclusive bear hug.
I laughed at her enthusiasm. Naruko seemed to be over the moon, and I couldn't blame her. This had been her dream for so long. A vital step in completing the greater dream of becoming Hokage, a step that had stymied her for years now, and she had finally overcome it.
She had more than enough reason to be happy as a clam.
"Hope we are not too late?" the voice of the Toad Sage signalled his arrival to the others present, confirming my chakra sense that had picked up on his approach as well as his companion.
"Oba!" Naruko yelled, gently putting down her friends and rushing the Senju princess, diving at her for a hug, while completely ignoring the Toad Sage who pouted at the snub. Lady Tsunade reciprocated with an exasperated smile, holding the blonde Jinchuriki in a firm but gentle embrace.
"Congatulations kid." Tsunade said, but I could tell her emotions were nowhere near as supportive as she portrayed. There was an anxious terror to her chakra that followed her everywhere she went but it was especially intense now as she stared down at Naruko's face. Specifically at the head protector worn proudly on her forehead.
But she kept her doubts to herself, I was grateful for that. I obviously shared many if not all of her misgivings, seeing as I had opted out of the shinobi life myself but sharing those anxieties now would only ruin a day Naruko had spent years fervently dreaming of.
A hand reached into their hug from the side to ruffle Naruko's hair. Tsunade huffed and smoothed out her little cousin's curls while glaring at the perpetrator who was smiling too wide to care.
"Nice work kid, you've got a long road ahead of you but congratulations, You've made it to the starting line." he said his chakra beaming with pride.
"Indeed." My sensei spoke up for the first time, drawing everyone's attention to him.
He was dressed in his domestic wear, it was an open secret by now that the Hokage was at multiple places at once at all times of the day. There was a silent agreement that if you came across a lord Hiruzen that looked to be simply enjoying his day, you leave the man alone and go find a clone on active duty.
That was why every adult was minding their business instead of coming over to pay their respects. That and I'm sure some of them don't recognise him in casual clothes, like most of the kids who had seen him in full office wear when he had given the commencement speech yet didn't give the old man with a suspicious resemblance a second glance.
Which either said a lot about Konoha's shinobi training or how good my sensei was at even the most minor of shinobi activities. I was leaning toward the latter.
"It has been a long and arduous journey not without its pitfalls but you made it. Both of you made it." he said, turning his gaze to Hinata who grew red in the face and squirmed under his gaze.
"You have grown in strength and wisdom, guided by the Will of Fire-" Tsunade rolled her eyes there. "-and now you have been charged with the protection of the flame that once nurtured you." he completed his smile now, his tone solemn.
"They could not be in safer hands."
"Thank you Hokage-sama."
"Thanks Jiji! I won't let you down, believe it!"
My sensei chuckled at Naruko's bombastic reply and glanced at the sky for the sun's position. That's how he checked the time, with the sky.
Damn he was old.
"I believe celebrations are in order?"
"Ramen!" Naruko exclaimed, squirming out of Tsunade's embrace, who very reluctantly released her. Grabbed my and Hinata's hands, while seallessly summoning a shadow clone to sweep kuro of her feet and began dragging us in the direction of Ichiraku's.
My sensei chuckled as he and my senpai followed along at a more sedentary pace. I shared a glance with Hinata, who watched Naruko with fond affection and rolled my eyes while being dragged around.
She giggled at my expression and I couldn't help but laugh back. She was very happy, both of them were, I could feel it and they deserved it. As my sensei had said, it was just the beginning, but it was worth celebrating.
And celebrate we would.
XXXXXXXXX
Jiraiya watched as the kids scampered off, his kōhai surrounded by his happy girlfriends.
The lucky bastard.
His own forays into committed romance were nowhere near as successful. He did his best not to glance at Tsunade when the thought passed through his mind, but he felt her look at him anyway, as though she could read his thoughts.
Which she obviously could not. Otherwise she would have taken him at his word by now, and they could stop dancing around each other. Maybe she was in denial and just couldn't accept that he had genuine feelings for her—as unbelievable as that sounded. Not a presumption he could blame her for; Jiraiya was the last person who could judge anyone for clinging to delusions to lighten the burdens of reality.
Didn't make it any less hurtful, but she hadn't said no yet. So he wouldn't give up. He just had to be patient with her, no matter how long it took.
And it was taking a while.
Thankfully, he could distract himself with work—lots and lots of work.
Being the Hokage's understudy was not light labor, especially when said Hokage was an old man dreaming of retirement and offloading as much responsibility onto you as fast as possible to attain that dream. Being a spymaster had prepared him handily for the administrative aspects of the job, but it cut severely into his research time.
Made even worse by his normal avenues of research being set aside in his pursuit of his one true love. As a true romantic, nothing would ever make him regret that choice, but for a man of his passions, six months of celibacy was… taxing, to say the least.
Thankfully, his sensei had introduced him to the soothing, libido-killing balm of being a workaholic. Even with his kōhai's clone jutsu lightening the load, running a village was not easy. It was time-consuming in its never-ending minutiae and mind-bending in its complexity.
Jiraiya loved it.
The problem-solving parts, at least. The amount of responsibility now resting on his shoulders, on the other hand, still had him waking in a cold sweat at night. But it was better than sitting back and watching all that he held dear crumble from inaction, so he could bear the night terrors.
For Tsunade. Naruko. His sensei. His village.
He could bear it all.
"They grow up so fast," Jiraiya said to Tsunade, who had been watching Naruko with soft eyes filled with affection.
"…Yeah."
"Makes me regret not having a couple of my own."
Tsunade snorted.
"You? A father?"
"Hey, I've done a pretty good job of being a grown-up these past months, haven't I? Besides, have you seen me with these kids? They love me. I'd make a phenomenal father," Jiraiya said, half-seriously, his hands falling to his hips as he tilted his face skyward, eyes closed, striking a pose that was—in his humble opinion—comedy gold.
Fully expecting Tsunade to laugh at his antics, he was confused when silence reigned.
Instead of mirth, Tsunade looked between Naruko and Jiraiya, her face carefully neutral, her gaze blank and distant.
"Tsunade?" He called her name, and she jerked as if struck.
"Father… right…" she scoffed half-heartedly, as though only now processing what he had said. Then she fell silent, contemplation written plainly across her face.
"Admittedly…"
"You wouldn't be half-bad," Tsunade said, her tone begrudging, her eyes so sharp he wouldn't have been surprised if they cut him as she studied his face.
Jiraiya's jaw dropped, and when the words truly sank in, he was hit with a wave of overwhelming terror. He suppressed it immediately, as he had been doing every day and every night since choosing the path he was on.
Not nearly fast enough. Tsunade caught that flash of fear.
Disappointment flickered in her eyes as she started to look away, but Jiraiya spoke before the conversation could fizzle out.
"Neither would you." The words left his mouth jumbled and rushed. The quizzical look she gave him showed just how much context was missing.
"Be half-bad, I mean. As a mother. I think you would be great."
"I'm a drunk gambling addict, Jiraiya," Tsunade deadpanned.
"Hey, nobody's perfect," the Toad Sage shrugged.
That earned a genuine bark of laughter from her, but her mirth faded quickly, replaced by a tired sadness. A tired sadness that only deepened when she looked at him—pity and self-recrimination burning in her eyes.
"I'm a mess, Jiraiya," she said suddenly.
Jiraiya blinked in shock.
"I'm a mess," she repeated, with warning finality. Before he could respond to that startling moment of vulnerability, she walked ahead, standing too close to the kids for them to continue their private conversation.
"The fires of passion and the soothing balm of love are not easily controlled or received."
Jiraiya jumped at the sudden voice of his sensei. No matter how much time passed, he still hadn't adapted to the old man's habit of fading into the background and announcing himself at the most inopportune moments.
"Sensei," Jiraiya managed, a hint of annoyance slipping into his voice.
Hiruzen ignored it.
"Your commitment these past few months has astounded me, Jiraiya. You have healed yourself of many faults through grit and determination alone, and I know that grit can heal those you love as well," Hiruzen said, watching the kids and Tsunade walking ahead of them.
"Do not lose faith in yourself—or in others."
"…Thank you, sensei."
XXXXXXXXX
Tsunade groaned as she stumbled into the house she had chosen to sleep in within the Senju compound. The compound lay at the edge of the village, surrounded by foliage; this house sat even farther out, deeper among the trees, far from the main house.
She didn't go to the main house.
Too many ghosts.
She was pulling off her heels when she heard the faint crunch of leaves beneath her feet and felt them give way. She blinked and looked down at the bouquet of flowers resting at the entrance to the house.
They were a vibrant pink, growing on slim branches instead of stems, bundled together with white ribbons. A small card rested at the front, the only indication of their source or origin. A quaint drawing of a toad.
Plum blossoms.
The meaning behind them filled her with complex emotions. Given the gifter's career intentions, she thought cherry blossoms would have been more appropriate. She reached down, lifted the bouquet, and held it to her face, taking a deep breath of their scent.
Then again, she had always preferred plum blossoms.
A small fact she was sure he wouldn't have thought to remember. She wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that he did.
With a sigh, she paced through the empty house and out into the backyard. The quiet was broken only by the sounds of nature. Not a soul was present in the compound with her. Shizune had asked to come, but Tsunade had refused.
Throughout her travels she hadn't been able to pry that girl from her side, but she would be damned if, now that they were back in the village, she let her apprentice be held back by the bitter old woman she called sensei.
She shook the thought off as she moved into the yard and began to dig into the earth for the plant, using her nails to carve fūinjutsu into the branches as she worked—simple seals to keep it hale and hearty, even when she inevitably forgot to water it.
Soon her work was done, and she admired it. Unbidden, thoughts of the gifter surfaced, specifically what he had said earlier that day.
As a mother, I think you would be great.
She snorted softly to herself. A mother? Her? She didn't have a nurturing bone in her body.
She brushed the dirt from her knees and headed back into the house to drink herself to sleep, leaving behind a garden of one hundred and eighty-five plum blossom saplings.
One for every day she had been back in the village.
XXXXXXXXX