[Chapter 20 - Rest, Yohei. Rest. (Part 1)]
The Flame and the Void.
It was something Yohei faintly remembered from his other life. He wasn't sure where it came from – if it was some kind of actual Zen tradition, or if it was from some fantasy book or anime. But he knew, more or less, the beats of it.
One was supposed to visualize a single candle flame surrounded by an absolute void, and into the flame they should throw… everything. Everything that could be an obstacle or distraction to their current goals.
Feed into the flames your fears, your pains, your emotions, your expectations, and what you're left with is a state of absolute focus and clarity of mind.
It vaguely reminded him of the Litany Against Fear, and that, at least, he remembered a bit more clearly.
'I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will allow it to pass over me, and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.'
…It was also similar to the concept of fearlessness shown in the movie After Earth, which really had no right being as good as it was.
Yohei idly wondered if the Chaos Scroll also had those techniques stored inside it, and if he'd ever get them. But a moment later the thought drifted, and faded away as he let out a long breath.
He wasn't sure if what he was experiencing right now was similar.
In fact, he was pretty sure it wasn't.
Rather than a state of… selective awareness, it was more like he was making himself hyperaware of everything, both internal and external.
As he breathed in, he saw the air entering his body as if it were a water current – and when that current entered his lungs, he saw the oxygen pooling in the alveoli until it bypassed their walls, diffusing into the bloodstream and binding to the hemoglobin, carried into the heart and then pumped through the tens of billions of rivers called blood vessels, feeding energy into the cells and life into his body.
And with this pulse of life came thought – rational and irrational, conscious and subconscious, the counting of the number of inhalations he had engaged in since he began meditating, the faint leftover ache from yesterday's injuries, the feel of saliva pooling in his mouth, the creaking sound of his door being opened, the smell of breakfast coming from downstairs, the anxiousness that ever accompanied every thought related to the Chaos Scroll, the longing that always came with the remembrance of his other life, the fear for the future…
He went through all of those thoughts all at once, with no recognizable beginning nor end, and no clear point of connection between them. He felt them flow through his mind – and as his cells burned through the energy he gave them and produced carbon dioxide, he felt those thoughts follow the same river paths his blood took as they returned to his lungs, and were expelled from his body as he exhaled, leaving space for more.
He was, at the same time, thinking about everything and nothing in specific, and this felt…
'Like I'm high,' he thought, in a giddy kind of serenity.
This bubbling feeling of euphoria, as if he were experiencing life for the first time since he was born – like all those years he had been experiencing things through a muted filter, with the volume turned low and with constant noise muddling everything…
Was this how all the monks felt when they meditated?
'Sneaky bastards, they were keeping this to themselves all this time?'
"Yohei?"
He opened his eyes.
'Mommothermymomnanamiokaasasnmamamãemamãehomesafelightmorningwindowthesunyellowwarmsowarmsoftamusedworriedconfusedexasperatedyoheiyoheimyname–'
"Are you okay?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a confused smile, moving from the door into his room.
Yohei exhaled one last time, feeling his smile grow as the glow of his turquoise chakra receded back into his skin. He chuckled. "Yeah… I think I am."
She sat next to him on the bed, pulling him into a one-armed hug as he uncrossed his legs and relaxed his body.
"What were you doing?" she asked as she combed through his hair with her fingers.
Yohei let out a pleased hum, yawning. "Nature Transformation."
She let out an interested and pleased sound. "Already? My Yo-kun really is the best. But I thought today was meant to be a resting day?"
"It is," Yohei confirmed lazily. "Meditating like that is actually really… relaxing."
'And stimulating.'
"Mou, must be nice having a Water Affinity," she grumbled with an audible pout. "There's nothing relaxing about Lightning Chakra."
Yohei laughed. "I can imagine. I'm kind of curious, though. Is it like putting your finger in a socket?"
"Hmmm… It can be, if you 'turn it up' too much. But mostly it just feels like the world's most irritating buzzing ever, and your body prickles and tingles like there were a thousand centipedes walking on it."
Yohei shivered. "That sounds like a nightmare," he said hollowly.
"Mhm!" Nanami agreed with two little huffs of air.
"But can't you just… 'turn it down' and make it feel like a full-body massage instead?"
"You can," she said with a groan, "but it just needs so. Much. Control. I can do it if I want, but I need to concentrate so much on the process that I can't relax at all!" She huffed. "You should have gotten my chakra nature, Yo-kun! Then you could use it to give me a massage! We could have made it your training!"
Yohei laughed. "I think if I had to pick another nature it would be Lightning, but I'm more than happy with Water." Then he turned his head to look at her teasingly, a grin on his face. "Speaking of, where did it even come from, huh? You have Lightning and Dad had Fire – how come I got-"
Before he could even finish speaking, her fingers were already pinching his cheeks and pulling tightly on them, making him let out a whine.
"Oi, oi, oi, Yo-kun, what are you talking about? You're not insinuating anything, are you? Even if you're my precious son, I'll still get mad if you say something like that about me, you know? You think Tatsuo-kun would marry a harlot? Huh? Huh?"
"I'm joking! I'm joking! You're going to tear them off!" Yohei cried out, tapping on the backs of her hands.
She let go with a sniff. "Of course you're joking – your ass would be bright red right now if you weren't. Honestly, have you been listening to what I've been teaching you every night? Chakra nature isn't always inheritable – although the parents do have some influence, in the end it's always down to a combination of individual characteristics."
"I know that," Yohei said as he rubbed his cheeks with his hands, "but still, there's no one in the family that you know of with a Water nature?"
"I can't exactly ask them at this point, can I?" she said dryly, making him let out a startled snort. She chuckled, then tapped her mouth with a finger. "I suppose… one of my parents may have had it? They were from the Land of Snow, after all."
Yohei blinked. "Right, I… forgot about that. Have you ever, you know, gone there?"
"Sure," Nanami confirmed carelessly. "First out of curiosity, then on a few missions before it got messed up with the civil war. It's so cold in some parts there that you can spit and it'll turn to ice before it hits the ground. It's horrible."
Yohei shook his head with a smile. "Honestly, that sounds like a dream, Mom. I don't know how you can like the heat so much."
She grinned, looking off to the side.
"Maybe you'll get it someday." Then she chuckled. "But I suppose that's another indication of where you got your Water chakra from. Seems like it jumped a generation."
"You reckon the Yang came from Dad's side of the family, then?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, I'm pretty sure that's all you," she said with a soft smile, giving him a kiss on the forehead. "So, what are your plans for the day?"
Yohei hummed contentedly. "I don't have anything planned, actually. Ren invited me to his home so he could teach me some basic Fuinjutsu seals, but if I have to read another word in less than twenty-four hours my brain will turn to mush."
Nanami giggled. "Such a drama queen. You'll just laze around, then?"
Yohei nodded seriously with a happy smile. "Lazing around sounds perfect. Especially since I'll spend the whole day out tomorrow."
Nanami's eyes turned flat at his words, despite retaining their amusement. "Right, you'll go 'Beast Hunting.'"
"Yup," Yohei agreed shamelessly, popping the 'p'. "Apparently it's a rather common thing to do? I had no idea. Say, have you ever tried it?"
Nanami shook her head. "Too much work, too much responsibility, too much noise. I didn't see a point back when I was in the field, and even less so after I started working at the hospital."
Yohei hummed. "What about a blind reverse summon?"
"No, Yohei, I was never suicidal," she said dryly, with a chuckle.
"Oh, come on," Yohei said with a teasing smile. "You never asked yourself what you'd get? What kind of animal best reflects who you are?"
Nanami went quiet, looking up considerately. Then she turned to look him in the eyes, blue matching blue.
She smiled.
"No."
Yohei blew a raspberry. "You're no fun."
Nanami started laughing, hooking her arm around his neck and dragging him along as she stood up. "You take that back – I'm the most fun person ever!"
"You're not!"
"I am! And I also make the best breakfasts ever – but if we take any longer it'll get cold, so come on, you lazy bum!"
Yohei let out an indignant squeak as he was dragged out of his room, to the sound of her laughter.
'I… really love this.'
-~=~-
To his credit, Yohei did spend the morning exactly as he had planned to – lazing around and not doing much besides breathing, eating, and existing. It was actually a great time, and it felt really good to spend some time with his mom after the hectic week, but eventually…
Well, the stillness started bothering him.
Which was worrying, because Yohei was a consummate lazy-ass, and proud of it!
Sure, he wasn't like Shikamaru, who would get bothered even by interesting things interrupting his rest, but there were few things either of his lives liked more than just sitting on the couch and picking up something to read, or lying down with some music on and existing in a state of no thoughts.
Was he turning into a goddamn training maniac!?
…
That might actually be good for his life expectancy…
But not today! Today was meant for rest!
Which is why, when he started getting the itch to go back to his room to read through the biology books or start doing chakra exercises, he immediately stood up and decided to do something neither of his lives would consider doing on their own –
Leaving the house.
"Oh! Going out, Yo-kun?" Nanami asked with some surprise as she saw him move to the front, tying down his – still steel-toeless – shoes.
"Yup!"
"Why, I thought you had nothing planned?"
"I don't!" Yohei confirmed with a smile. "Any suggestions on what to do?"
Nanami pouted. "Mou, you don't want to spend the day with your mama? Have you gotten to your rebellious phase, Yo-kun?" she asked with a fake sniff.
Yohei only gave her a flat, amused stare.
She giggled, dismissing the fake tears. Then she looked to the side as she tapped her finger on her mouth. "Something to do, huh? Hm… Well, Tatsuo-kun and I would go out sometimes just to watch people and make fun of them while eating something."
"That's horrible, Mama," Yohei replied dryly.
Nanami winked, peeking her tongue out the corner of her mouth and knocking on her head. "Tee-he."
Yohei snorted, laughing.
Still, he considered what she said.
'Watching people, huh?'
Bringing his hands up in the Ram hand seal, Yohei was soon enveloped by a white cloud.
Puff.
"Eh?" his mom sounded, confused about why he had used the Transformation Jutsu. When the smoke vanished, however, she leaned forward eagerly, stars in her eyes. "Eehhhhh!?"
Where before Yohei had been wearing a simple black T-shirt and baggy shorts, he now seemed to be dressed in clear white pants and a white, long-sleeved open shirt with a high neck and black insides, exposing his chest. His skin, previously olive, had changed to the paler shade of his mother, while his hair turned straight and gained the blue coloration of her own.
…In sum, he looked like a child male version of Nanami.
"EHHHHHHHHH!?"
Yohei snickered, showing that his teeth had become a bit longer and sharper in the transformation. "You liked it? That way, even if I'm caught stalking people like you used to do, no one will recognize me."
Asking if she liked it was a bit cruel. Seeing the look on her face as she stared at him, hands on her cheeks and barely holding in a squeal… well, it was fair to say that she loved it.
"Well, I'm going."
"YO-KUN! NO! DON'T GO! STAY! LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE! AHHHHH, YOU'RE SO CUTE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LOOK SO MUCH LIKE YOUR FATHER? NINE MONTHS, YO-KUN! NINE MONTHS AND YOU ONLY GOT MY EYES! PLEASE DON'T GOOOOOOO!"
Spoiler: Yohei's "Undercover" Transformation - sans mask and hole
-~=~-
He was only half-lying about his reason for using the Transformation Jutsu to become this… miniature version of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. More than being harder to recognize, what he actually wanted was to keep the transformation over his eyes, so he could use –
Shinsogan.
With a flex of chakra toward his eyes, he felt his dōjutsu activate, putting everything out of focus for a second before it all snapped back into place.
It was the first time Yohei was using it in public, and… well, it was quite the underwhelming experience.
He had only activated it thrice before – once in his bedroom to check what it looked like, where it had no effect; once in his past classroom, where there was a 'red line' for pretty much everyone around him; and once in the forest during his genin exam, which was much the same as before.
Here, out in the streets of Konoha, he could almost mistake it as if there was nothing different about himself – he had no interest in the random passersby, and the random passersby most definitely had no interest in him. But then he'd see someone he knew, or a neighbor, and a thread would materialize from nothing as they entered his field of view.
Seeing those strings also allowed him to make a new observation. While they were mostly smaller than some of the bigger strings he'd seen before – like the one connecting him to Hinata, or the one between him and Souma – they were also more… solid? Old? Sure?
It was weird to describe, and it was more of a feeling rather than an actual visual aspect of it, but he had the impression that even though they wouldn't give him as much detail as a bigger one would, they were also under a lot less risk of diminishing in size.
On a counterpoint, he also noticed something of the opposite nature once he leapt up to the eaves of a house and started watching the people moving on the street. The speed at which he could build new connections with those random people was much lower than the speed it took for him to build one with his classmates who didn't have one. And it could crumble even without him looking away from them.
There was no perfectly consistent timing, but… if for classmates it took a few seconds to see the strand grow noticeably, with random passersby it took minutes.
He did notice that it was noticeably faster with people he found himself… well, attracted to. The more attractive the person, the quicker it formed, which showed that this at least was an important factor for his ability, even if not the only one.
At some point, he decided that rather than quick tests he wanted to observe the whole process happening in real time – so he sat down in a comfortable place to stalk – observe people and decided on a target subject.
SHIBATA MIO
STRANGERS
'How hurtful, Mio-chan…'
That was the girl he had picked to observe at random, mostly because she was reasonably close to his hiding spot – and distance between him and a target seemed to matter – but also because she was working at a stall, so she was unlikely to move away and make him have to follow her to continue the progress of his ability.
He had only settled on her a couple of minutes ago, and it was already paying off. For one, he managed to discover another factor in the workings of his dōjutsu – names.
The red thread between the two of them was still a few meters away from being completed after he spent some time paying attention to her appearance and the details of her face and clothing – but the moment he heard who he guessed to be her mother calling her name, it rushed forward and attached itself to her heart. Sure, it was still thin as a spider's web, but it was there!
It was, however, only enough to give him information he already had – namely her name and their relationship status.
It took several more minutes of observation for him to gain access to more information – and even that wasn't by itself, even if he had seen the strand thicken as he spent more time watching her. What triggered the change, to be specific, was when he noticed a rather interesting detail about her.
Mio was a pretty girl.
No, wait, there's more to it than that!
Mio was a pretty girl, and that's why her mom put her as the face of their little business, handling the customers while she stayed in the back making the imagawayaki they sold. When there were no customers in sight, Mio would chat in a relaxed, if slightly bored, manner with her mother, laughing here and there. The moment a customer appeared, however, she would put on a cheerful face and act kindly toward them – which was perfectly normal for anyone who worked in customer service, of course – but there were some differences in how she handled different customers.
With adults she'd act peppy and a bit doltish, putting on that charming younger-girl act that made adults want to buy from the 'hard working kid'.
With kids she would instead act all cool and confident, putting on what Yohei liked to call the 'nee-san' act to get them interested in buying the imagawayaki, and incentivizing them to bring their friends.
With guys her age, though? Especially the ones who came by to try and flirt or impress her? She'd act perfectly civil and put on a smile. It did, however, lack the warmth she showed to the previous demographics.
The biggest difference was when girls her age appeared, especially pretty girls. That's when he'd see her closest to how she was when alone with her mother. Her face would get an almost unnoticeable blush and she'd laugh at anything they said, while her eyes did a mad dance, not knowing where to look.
Yohei's suspicions were confirmed when the 'ink' that appeared beside her in his vision, informing him of her name and their relationship, melted and reformed into different words.
IS INTERESTED IN CINEMA
LIKES GIRLS
DISLIKES BOYS
'Oof. Sorry, Mio-chan, it seems things between us weren't meant to be…' Yohei 'lamented' inside his head.
Despite joking, he felt a bit… well, actually very uncomfortable violating the girl's privacy and spying on her like this. But it did help him understand one more part of his power.
'Learning something about the individual increases our bond and gives me access to more information.'
Which he had already guessed, but as always, having confirmation was preferable. He could have reasonably told himself that the 'likes girls' and 'dislikes boys' parts came purely from his own observation, but there was nothing to indicate her interest in cinema beyond maybe – maybe – her little acting act.
'Well, I guess this is it, enough with the stalking bit. Besides, this ended up becoming a training session all the same. What the hell is wrong with me?' Yohei grumbled. Then he smiled. 'But I guess one last test wouldn't hurt, and Mio-chan deserves a gift for being such a wonderful assistant.'
Thinking so, Yohei once more brought his hands together in the Ram hand seal, bringing on another puff of smoke as he was left transformed into a new form.
"Ah, ah, testing, testing," he tried saying, smiling upon hearing how his voice came out.
'Can't really check to see if it all looks okay,' he complained, looking down at his body. 'But I based this mostly on Mom, so it should be okay, right?'
"Well, damn," Yohei said with a sharp grin, looking down at himself. "I look hot. Now let's rock that girl's world."
-~=~-
'There's a lot of movement today,' Shibata Mio thought lazily.
It made sense, of course. Weekends were always when they got the most movement – couples taking their children for a walk, kids enjoying the lack of classes, teenagers hanging out with their friends…
And it was a good thing. Great, even!
They hadn't had any financial problems for a while now, not since those first few months after…
After the thing.
But it was always good for business to be doing well, right? It meant that she'd get the money she needed to go to the capital faster, and it also meant more pocket money she could use to go out with her friends.
But it also meant that she had to spend the whole day seeing couple after couple doing couple things…
And that wasn't fair!
Not at all!
She also wanted to go on a date, dammit!
She wanted to put on her nice clothes! She wanted to spend some of her money buying overpriced things she shouldn't just to make her date smile! She wanted to kiss! And – and hold hands! And all the other things couples did!
She was the only one in her circle who had never dated before now! Even Kaito had a girlfriend! Kaito! Monkey-ears Kaito!
And she couldn't even complain about it! Because she knew that her mom would easily let her go out instead of working if she said she got asked out! In fact, she would insist on it! Mio knew that because just an hour ago a boy had asked her out for the third time this month and she had to almost beg the woman not to close up the stall!
The problem was that she wasn't interested in the kind of people who were interested in her. And the kind of people she was interested in weren't interested in her!
She knew that for a fact, because she had already been rejected by three girls! Three!
'It's not my fault,' she reassured herself in her mind. 'It's this damn village's fault. Prudes! Prudes, all of them! Weren't ninja supposed to be deviants!? The books lied to me!'
"Hello?"
'But it's okay,' she consoled herself. 'Just a few more months. A few more months and I'll be off to the capital to study. And everyone knows what the girls in the capital get to, right? So it'll all–'
"Excuse me?"
Mio blinked, finding herself dragged out of her thoughts by a voice like velvet that seemed to envelop the words uttered by it, then bash through her ears, beating her brain into submission.
Embarrassed – and knowing from the voice alone that she was only going to embarrass herself further – Mio psyched herself up for the next torturous minutes as she raised her gaze. "Ah – I'm sorry, dear customer, can I-" She choked on her words.
Standing in front of her was a girl – no, a woman. Yes, a woman. A one-point-eight-meter-tall woman, with moon-pale skin in the likeness of the Hyūga, dressed in low, plain white pants that exposed the top of her navel, and a black crop top that did nothing to hide the steel-hard muscles of her abdomen, while at the same time hugging snugly the humongous mountains that dared call themselves tits.
That alone would have already short-circuited Mio's brain, but the look on the statuesque woman's face was somehow worse than all of it. A perfect face that put her favorite actresses to shame, pearl-white teeth exposed in a sharp, fanged, dimpled smirk, and crystalline blue eyes looking down at her in a lidded gaze that made her feel like a bunny in front of a fox – all of it framed by long, luscious silvery-white curls that made the devil in front of her look like an angel.
Spoiler: Lesbian Destroyer no Jutsu
'Ah. I'm going to die.'
The woman's smirk seemed to sharpen even more at that thought, as if she could read Mio's mind.
'Or maybe she's smelling my weakness?'
"Could I get some pancakes, please?" her killer asked – though it felt more like a demand.
"Ah, yes! We have anko, custard cream, chocolate, sweet potato, and cheese fillings! Which one would you like, dear customer?" Mio said.
Or – well – tried to say. What actually came out of her mouth was something like:
"Ajh heash! wedjsah ang, suharsh weam, sdiohti, whwesast oaho-"
Luckily, she shut up before she could embarrass herself further. Unluckily, that only happened after the woman's warm chuckles cut through the fog in her head as she leaned against the counter, arms pushing together underneath her bust to push them up in a move that Mio was pretty sure should be illegal.
"You're adorable," the woman said, eyes narrowed in amusement.
"Heh. Heheheh. Ehehehehehehehehheheheheh-"
She kind of blanked out after that.
Mio was vaguely aware of her mother appearing by her side and talking with the woman, getting her order in and receiving the payment before handing her a paper bag filled to the brim. But she only really came back to reality when she saw those blue eyes lock onto her own as the woman winked.
"Sayonara, Mio-chan," she said sweetly as she turned and –
'Oh my kami, look at that-'
"Mio!" Her mother's voice called her back from the sight of paradise. She jumped in her seat, looking to the side at the disappointed look on the woman's face. "Stop staring like a dog looking at a piece of meat! Honestly, I raised you better than that, girl."
"Ah – AH! Eh… what?"
…Her brain may still have been a little fried.
-~=~-
"Pfft-!"
Yohei couldn't stop laughing at the dazed look of the girl he'd left behind.
Was what he'd just done a little mean?
Maybe.
But she certainly looked like she'd enjoyed it, and he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty as he felt the new weight on his chest, signaling that the Chaos Scroll had become active again.
'Jackpot,' he commented in his head. 'Should I head home now?'
He considered it for a few moments before shaking his head.
'Nah, better not. This will be either a new Manual or… a new Summon. If it's the first, I'm not going to be able to stop myself from starting to study it today, depending on what it is, and if it's the latter then I'm not going to be able to use it right now anyway. I should just look for something else to do now that I'm done with this little expedition. But what?' he asked himself, humming, then standing up and patting the dirt off his clothes as he felt an idea take shape. 'One last use of the Shinsōgan for the day.'
Activating his dōjutsu – still behind the mask of a transformation, though this time his first one – Yohei leapt atop a power pole and looked at the many lines that appeared from his chest, now that his line of sight was increased by his altitude.
'My mom, told me, to pick, this one, right here,' he sang to himself, picking one at random and memorizing its direction as he deactivated the dōjutsu. 'And I'm not going to disobey my mom.'
[Chapter 20 - Rest, Yohei. Rest. (Part 2)]
'What are the chances?' Yohei asked himself with some incredulity as he smiled at the scene.
A few meters in front of him stood Hyūga Hinata, the Hyūga princess herself, sitting between a tree and some bushes with her knees drawn up to her chest while she watched, stars in her eyes, as a certain blue-eyed blonde proceeded to beat the shit out of some wooden targets with no particular sign of skill or care.
'Should I try talking to her?' he wondered, before letting out a snort. 'Yeah, sure, that would go swimmingly. A guy that a girl with almost crippling anxiety doesn't know appears out of nowhere and starts pushing her out of her comfort zone while trying to give her life advice. I'm sure nothing could go wrong.'
He didn't know what the best way to help those two traumatized dumbasses along was, or even if it should fall to him to do something like this. He only knew that just pushing them together and saying 'now kiss' as if they were toys and he was a six-year-old girl was wrong on multiple levels.
'Still, this is kinda sad,' he thought as he watched Naruto do his best to pummel a particularly beaten-up log, performing some Master Yoda–level acrobatics by jumping around it like a monkey to hit it from multiple angles.
Yohei pursed his lips. 'Didn't I say multiple times already that today was supposed to be a rest day?'
…
Yohei let out a groan. 'Well, fuck me and my lying self, I guess.'
"Yo, Naruto!" Yohei called, waving a hand to get the blond's attention as he walked down the steps to the small training ground, doing his best to ignore the quiet 'eep!' coming from the girl hiding behind the bushes.
Naruto froze mid–handstand upward kick, letting out a startled noise as he looked at Yohei – right before losing his balance and slipping, falling flat on the ground.
Yohei restrained his chuckles.
"Snrk-"
Well. He tried.
"Oi! What gives, Yohei! Why'd ya scare me like that!?" Naruto shouted as he jumped back to his feet, rubbing his lower back.
"Sorry, sorry," Yohei apologized between laughs. "I was just passing by and saw you training, so I decided to say hey."
"Really?" Naruto asked suspiciously, squinting so hard his eyes practically disappeared.
"Really," Yohei confirmed with an easy smile, extending his fist. "Hey, Naruto."
Naruto looked down at the offered fist in confusion for a moment, then his face lit up as he bumped it with his own. "Yosh! Hey, Yohei, what's up?"
Yohei chuckled at the complete one-eighty. "Nothing much. Trying to get some rest from the week and failing miserably. What about you?"
"Are you blind?" Naruto asked, making Yohei's eyebrow twitch. The blond laughed and gestured at the field. "I'm training my taijutsu! I can't become Hokage without putting in the work, ya know!?"
"Fair enough," Yohei conceded with a shrug, still smiling as he started walking. Naruto blinked in confusion. "But still – training taijutsu by yourself? I'd get it if it was just physical conditioning, but I don't think you'll learn much about fighting when your opponents are… logs."
He knocked on one of the wooden posts, humming thoughtfully at the sensation.
'I'd forgotten how hard these were. Even now, the plants influenced by Lord Hashirama really are something else, huh.'
"Yeah, well, nothing I can do about that," Naruto grumbled. "My team's full of lazy bums. I doubt they'd come even if I called them."
"Oof. That's rough, buddy," Yohei said in solemn commiseration, patting Naruto's shoulder and making the boy snort.
"What about yours?"
"My what?"
"Your team! What are they like?"
Yohei hummed, crossing his arms and leaning back against one of the logs as he tilted his head up in thought. A smile slowly spread across his face.
"They're the best," he said without hesitation. "I wouldn't change them even if I could."
Silence lingered over the training ground for a few seconds after that.
"Lucky," Naruto muttered.
"I am," Yohei agreed wholeheartedly. Then he tilted his head, looking at the shorter boy staring off into the distance. "You know, I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same way if I'd ended up on the same team as you."
Naruto blinked, then turned a surprised look his way – before laughing, a bit awkward at first, quickly growing boisterous. "Of course! Uzumaki Naruto is the best, after all! There's no one who wouldn't love being on a team with me!"
Yohei chuckled. "I don't know if Kiba would agree with that."
"Fuck Kiba!"
Yohei burst out laughing. "Yeah, fuck Kiba!" Then he froze, eyes widening. "Actually, I'd better not say anything about the mutt. I've got a bet going with his sister, and if I lose and she hears me saying something like that, I'm toast."
He wouldn't lose, of course, but… well. Never say never. Who knew what tomorrow might bring?
'Better not tempt fate.'
"What's it about?" Naruto asked curiously.
"I have to find something in one of the fields outside the village," Yohei explained.
"Do ya need help?"
Yohei looked down at Naruto, seeing the earnest, hopeful look on his face – one that reminded him a little too much of Souma.
He smiled, but shook his head. "Sorry, not this time. It's the kind of thing I have to do by myself."
"Oh." Naruto hummed, scratching his cheek and looking away awkwardly.
'This isn't fair. I didn't do anything. Why do I feel like I kicked a puppy?'
Restraining a sigh, Yohei opened his paper bag and pulled out one of the last pancakes, moving it forward until it was right in front of Naruto's face.
"Eh?" Naruto sounded, looking up at him.
"It's got a cheese filling," Yohei explained. "Do you like it?"
Naruto's face split into a wide grin as he took it – and almost inhaled the thing. "It's my favorite!"
"Oi, calm down, don't choke on it!" Yohei warned, sighing as the boy completely ignored him and kept gulping it down.
"Thanks!"
"You're welcome," Yohei said with an eye roll. "You want mo-"
"Yes!"
Yohei handed him the bag, watching as Naruto devoured pancake after pancake.
"Hey, Naruto," he called, observing the impromptu mukbang. The blond turned toward him. "Why were you training taijutsu if you knew it wouldn't help much doing it by yourself?"
"Because I already did everything else today!" Naruto grumbled through a full mouth. "I spent the morning meditating, exercised in the afternoon, and then I came here. It's not my fault I don't have a jutsu like the bastard's fireball thingie to train."
'Well, you do have the Shadow Clones – and if I had to choose between those and any Fire Release jutsu, I'd pick them every time.'
"In that case," Yohei said, "what about a bet?"
Naruto gave him a curious look.
"Let's spar," Yohei proposed. "That way you'll actually get some taijutsu practice, and whoever loses has to teach the other a jutsu."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Do you even know any cool jutsu?"
Yohei smirked, bringing his hands together in the Ox hand seal.
Extreme Muscle Assault.
Instantly, his muscles bulged, swelling in size until he looked like a miniature bodybuilder, his clothes straining under the sudden pressure.
"So," Yohei asked, grinning at a wide-eyed Naruto, "whaddya think?"
"Yosh! Alright! Let's do it!" Naruto shouted, stars in his eyes. "What're the rules?"
"Same as academy spars – no weapons or jutsu allowed. Victory conditions are submission, incapacitation, or being driven out of bounds," Yohei said, trailing off as his muscles shrank back to normal. "Though… I guess we can consider the whole area to be in bounds?"
"Alright, let's do it!" Naruto said eagerly, jumping back.
'Well, I just got a great opportunity here,' Yohei thought as he took a few steps back. 'The question is – how do I win this fight?'
"Oi! Did ya get cold feet?" Naruto mocked with a smirk.
'Naruto's not really all that skilled at this point, but he does have a lot of battle smarts and probably better instincts than I do. Before he went out to train with Jiraiya, most of his wins were through outsmarting his opponents rather than simply being better than them, and he fought some pretty smart people. What's more, while he's not all that strong right now because his Enhancement is inefficient, he is one tough bastard who can take a lot of punishment. His stamina is even more ridiculous than Souma's, and he has that regeneration factor that lets him heal deep cuts in a few fucking seconds.'
Yohei laughed, shaking his head. "Just trying to figure out how much I need to beat your ass for you to stay down."
'So my chances of tricking him are low, and trying to win by wearing him out is an exercise in futility. I need to either land a good solid hit that takes him out or make sure he can't fight… This would be a lot easier if I could cheat by using Extreme Muscle Assault at a low level, but with Miss Byakugan Princess probably still hiding in those bushes, it's better not to risk being caught.'
"Uzumaki Naruto never stays down, believe it!" Naruto declared, forming the Seal of Confrontation.
"We'll see about that," Yohei replied with a grin, mirroring the gesture.
The very next second, the blond launched himself straight at Yohei, a flying kick aimed at his head.
'Straight into the offensive – what a surprise,' Yohei thought dryly, catching Naruto's leg with one hand and using the momentum to spin and throw him away before the boy's other foot could connect.
Naruto landed on his feet, skidding along the ground before turning back to Yohei with a grin. He bounced on the balls of his feet, fingers opening and closing into fists.
Yohei raised his guard – feet shoulder-width apart, left foot forward, hands up to protect his face, chin tucked.
And then Naruto was off again, darting forward and leading with a punch that Yohei blocked, only to have to evade the follow-up kick by crouching low and letting Naruto's leg pass overhead. He took advantage of the opening to strike him in the back of the ribs.
Freak that he was, Naruto just took the hit with a grunt and completed the spin to deliver another kick, one that left Yohei's arm stinging.
And that was how they spent the next few moments.
Yohei had wanted to gauge the other boy's fighting style better, to look for a clean opening – but the problem was that he didn't even have to look for them.
Naruto's style was aggressive and wild, which wasn't to say it was mindless. He stayed constantly on the offensive and kept moving at all times, making it hard to catch a breather or predict what he would do next – probably because Naruto himself didn't know what he was going to do next.
He didn't put all that much thought into defense because he was aware – if only unconsciously – that he could take most hits without much of a problem. It was only when faced with something that could actually put him down, or with an attempt to grapple, that he bothered to evade or block.
Yohei wasn't getting tired yet, but he was getting pretty roughed up by the blond's hits, even if they didn't compare to the torture Gōdō had put him through. Naruto, meanwhile, only had dirty clothes to show as signs of struggle, despite the clear hits Yohei had managed to land on him.
Seeing a chance, Yohei weaved past a punch from the blond and grabbed his clothes, letting himself rush past him for a takedown.
But Naruto didn't seem to have any intention of letting that happen. The moment Yohei got close, he threw his head back and then drove it forward in a savage headbutt.
'Fuck!' Yohei cursed as he felt skin tearing and stars appear in his vision. 'I should have put on the hitai-ate before leaving.'
Naruto took advantage of it to try to reverse the situation, grabbing Yohei's clothes and pushing him forward with a yell.
Yohei managed to push past the pain, however, and despite his vision darkening from the hit to his head, he kept his grip. As he fell, he drew his legs back, using the momentum to slip them under Naruto's body and launch the boy backward. He used the recoil to roll forward and get back to his feet.
He turned to face Naruto, still a little stunned, watching as the boy stood up with a wild grin on his face.
"I thought you were going to beat my ass!?"
Yohei laughed, feeling himself grin as well. "Don't get cocky! That's just because I'm holding back!"
This time, it was him who rushed forward, though Naruto was only a second behind.
'I'm not winning this by being technical. And trading hits with this little bastard isn't going to work either,' he thought as he half-heartedly blocked a low kick just to get the chance to punch Naruto in the face – only for the blond to eat it and answer in kind, spinning with the blow and smashing an elbow into Yohei's side.
Yohei tried to hammer Naruto from above, but a heartbeat later the boy had already slipped away, jumping back and looking none the worse for wear after their exchange.
'Great, now again–' Yohei thought as he pretended to shake his head to throw off the dizziness. He only half-pretended to hiss and wince at the pain in his side before advancing once more, with Naruto, of course, doing the same.
This time, however, as Naruto jumped in to strike with a straight punch, Yohei didn't put up any defense. He only tilted his head slightly to the side, letting the fist pass by his face as he kept moving forward.
With both hands open and spread, touching each other, he tilted his upper body to the left while spreading his legs to the right as he body-checked Naruto, essentially trapping the blond boy's body between his arms and legs. The impact drove the air out of Naruto's lungs, but Yohei used their positioning for a levering move, pulling his arms back so they hooked around Naruto's back and twisting his waist forward to sweep Naruto's legs out from under him.
"Ehhhh!?"
The result sent Naruto flying and spinning to the side, crashing to the ground in a rough, uncontrolled fall. Before he could get his bearings, Yohei had already thrown himself on top of him, arms circling around his neck in a chokehold.
"Gotcha!" Yohei grunted as Naruto struggled beneath him, tightening his hold until he felt the boy tap twice.
He released immediately, a new weight settling in his chest as he rolled to the side and lay there breathing heavily, laughing even as he did.
Naruto coughed harshly as he sat up, one hand braced on the ground while the other rubbed at his throat, his face twisted into a scowl. "Y-you bastard! What the hell was that!?"
'A Vingativa,' Yohei thought victoriously. 'My other self didn't really spend a lot of time training Capoeira before he lost interest, but that's one of the few things he learned to do.'
"Something I came up with to deal with annoying fucks like you who can't stay still in a fight," he said, laughing. "Did you like it?"
Naruto's eyes gleamed at the words annoying fucks. He swiveled to look at Yohei with an eager expression. "Teach me! I bet if I use this against Sasuke in our next spar he'll fall down just like an idiot!"
"Like you did?" Yohei asked teasingly, earning an indignant "Oi!" from the blond that made him laugh. "Wasn't our bet that the loser would have to teach the winner? Why the hell are you inverting things?"
"This is this and that is that! I'm talking about taijutsu, not ninjutsu!"
Yohei chuckled. "Sure, I'll teach you. Though I get the feeling that even if I didn't, you'd still be able to learn it by yourself."
"Of course I would! I'm awesome, believe it!"
"Yeah, yeah, you're bragging too much for someone who just lost a fight," Yohei said, waving a hand as he stood up and patted the dirt off his clothes.
"That's because I was caught by surprise! Let's go again and I'll show you – !"
"Nah." Yohei interrupted, knocking two fingers against the blond's forehead to shut him up. Naruto glared at him until Yohei extended his hand in the Seal of Reconciliation. With a huff, Naruto locked his own hand with it and accepted the help to stand. "I don't like trying my luck when I'm already winning. Besides, I don't have an insane masochistic body like yours that can take a beating all day. I'm tired as heck, and today was supposed to be my rest day."
Naruto snorted with a grin. "You're such a wimp."
"No, that's my teammate," Yohei denied with a chuckle. Then he tilted his head. "Hey, I'm kind of hungry. You know some place where we can get some grub? My treat."
The look Naruto gave him at those words promised severe damage to his financial health.
'The dude beat the shit out of me and now he wants to leave me destitute. Look at the gall on this bitch,' Yohei thought with a laugh. 'Ah, what the hell. It's not like I had anything urgent to use that D-rank reward money on anyway.'
-~=~-
Yohei had a feeling about where Naruto would take him, and he had to admit he was a bit eager for it.
"Oh, Naruto-kun brought a friend today?" an older man said in a surprised tone as they walked through the noren of the ramen stall.
He had a kind, calm-looking face lined with age and wore a gentle, relaxed smile, eyes squinted. On his head, he wore a cook's hat with the kanji for Ichiraku, meaning 'one joy' or 'single pleasure'.
'That's scarily accurate,' Yohei thought as he looked at the smiling blond at his side. 'This world… does it exist independently and was only dreamed of by Kishimoto, or did Kishimoto's imagination of it make it exist? Is there even a difference when parallel realities are taken as truth and infinity is considered? Does it even matter?'
"Yo, Teuchi, Ayame! This is Yohei, he's going to pay for me today!" Naruto said gleefully as he took a seat.
"Ah, my condolences," Teuchi said solemnly.
"Oi!"
Yohei laughed at the scene, taking a seat and bowing his head. "Nice to meet you, I'm Kuroyama Yohei. I was Naruto's classmate back in the Academy."
"Oh, you're a ninja too, Yohei-san?" Ayame asked cheerfully as she handed him a menu over the counter.
Yohei looked at her and-
"Hng."
–held back a grunt after Naruto pinched his side with his nails when he got lost staring at her beautiful smile and wide, expressive eyes.
"I mean-" he coughed, "-yes. One of the genin of Team 5 under jōnin-sensei Shirakumo Hayama. Please consider us if you ever need help with something."
"Oi! If Teuchi-san and Ayame-chan need help with anything, they can ask my team, not yours!"
"I don't know, Naruto," Ayame said teasingly. "Didn't you say that your sensei was lazy and your teammate was-"
"I was joking! Joking!"
Yohei chuckled.
Although he knew about it from his memories of his alternate life, Yohei's own memories of Naruto had never seen the boy acting so… carefree.
No, that wasn't quite it – effortless, more like.
Naruto in the Academy was… well, frankly, he was just too much. He was loud, he was a braggart, he kept getting into fights and playing pranks. Yohei never had much of a negative opinion of him; he just didn't have many positive ones either. He'd never bullied the boy, but he also never tried to include him in anything, especially after he noticed the way his mom acted weird every time she saw him, even if he didn't understand why.
Here… well, he was still being loud, but it wasn't… forced. He was acting like himself rather than actively trying to get attention.
That made a difference, somehow.
"So, what are you going to order?" Teuchi asked with a smile, drawing his attention away from the playfully bickering pair. "Ah, and don't let Naruto fool you – if you let him, he'll make you go back home with nothing in your pockets."
Yohei chuckled. "I don't have much experience with ramen, and from how Naruto praises yours I'm sure everything will be delicious, so… I guess anything without pork? It's all I've been eating these days, so I'd like something different. And don't worry, I came prepared for the damage."
Teuchi laughed. "If you say so! It's good to see Naruto-kun making such good friends – he's a nice kid. I'll whip up something special for you."
"Oi! What about me!?"
"Yes, yes, same as usual, right? I'll get it ready soon!" Teuchi answered Naruto as he turned and walked into the kitchen, Ayame following after him after giving Yohei a smile and a little bow.
"Cut that smile off your face, Yohei," Naruto said with a glare, making Yohei turn toward him, still wearing a dumb smile.
"Hmmm?"
Naruto narrowed his eyes, pointing at him, then at Ayame's back, then dragging his thumb across his throat.
"Pfft," Yohei laughed, only making Naruto glower more. He raised his arms in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll stop," he said, making Naruto huff.
Yohei stared in amusement at how protective he seemed to be of his… somewhat adopted sister, and decided not to poke that particular nest. Instead – "So, how are things going with your team?"
"Eh? Whyd'ya wanna know?"
Yohei felt his eyebrow twitch. "I'm trying to make conversation, you brat."
"Who are you calling brat!? We're the same age!"
"I'm still older than you by three months, and that makes you a brat, brat. Also, keep your voice down – don't you know loud noises mess up the taste of the food?"
Naruto immediately clamped both hands over his mouth, his eyes going wide. "Is that true?" he asked in a whisper.
Yohei shrugged. "Maybe? Do you want to risk it, though?"
Naruto shook his head frantically, then furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, do you know my birthday?"
Yohei raised his head, tilting it to the side. "Eh, more or less. It's somewhere in October, right?"
Naruto nodded dazedly. "Y-yeah. How did you know?"
Yohei blinked, then furrowed his eyebrows, then shrugged. "Dunno."
'I really don't know. Is that something Yohei or the other guy knew? I can't remember.'
"Huh," Naruto said, looking at Yohei without knowing what to say.
Before the silence could get awkward, Yohei broke it. "So… your team?"
Naruto blinked, then blew a raspberry. "Why don't you talk about yours first?"
"Sure," Yohei agreed easily. "Let's see… I'm partnered with Ren and Souma. You remember them, right?"
Naruto nodded. "Pretty Boy the Lesser, and the Mute Beanpole."
Yohei snorted, trying to contain his laugh. "T-that's mean," he said without any actual reprimand in his tone. "But yeah. Ren – or, heh, Pretty Boy the Lesser – he's a smartass, curses like a sailor, and has something of a sadistic streak. But he's also wicked smart and really good at chakra control. Souma isn't as quiet as he was back in the Academy; he's got almost as much stamina as you and is fast as fuck. He's also just an all-around really dependable guy. Our sensei, Hayama-san… he looks like a hardass, but he's actually really well-humored and can act a bit silly sometimes. Also strong as hell. He's been putting us through our paces with training."
Naruto tsked. "Some people have all the luck. My sensei? He's a lazy ass who can't show up on time to save his life. Sasuke's still just as much of a bastard as he was in the Academy, only smugger somehow. And Sakura-chan…" He let out a groan, letting his head hit the counter. "She's still acting all crazy about him for some reason!"
Yohei hummed in interest. "Then why are you smiling?"
Surprised, Naruto touched his mouth, noticing that he was, indeed, smiling.
Yohei grinned. "Seems like they aren't so bad, after all."
"They are!" Naruto denied, still smiling. "It's just – did your team have to do any stupid exams?"
Yohei nodded. "Yep. I think all jōnin do that. My team had to… well, basically we had to catch and beat a clone of our sensei, but we managed to pass without doing it. What about you?"
"So there wasn't any 'only two of you will pass' trick?" Naruto asked. "Kakashi-sensei told us to catch two bells from his pocket, and whoever didn't have one would go back to the Academy."
Yohei nodded along. "Let me guess – none of you managed to get one?"
"I almost did!" Naruto protested. "But then he tied me to a log and said I wouldn't get any lunch. And then Sakura-chan and the bastard gave me food and we passed!"
Yohei looked at him flatly. "You're a horrible storyteller. This is missing all of the details."
"Shut up!" Naruto shouted.
"Here's your order!" Ayame announced, placing one bowl in front of each of them.
Naruto immediately quieted down, sitting eagerly in his seat and clapping his hands together in front of him. "Itadakimasu!"
Yohei rolled his eyes, then looked at the older girl, who was watching the two of them with mirth in her eyes. "Thank you, Ayame-san. It looks delicious."
"And it tastes even better!" she said proudly, with a cute, smug smile. "Now dig in, or Naruto-kun will be on his third serving before you're even done with your first."
Yohei glanced to the side and, sure enough, the blonde was absolutely demolishing the food in front of him like a vacuum. He decided to heed her advice.
"Itadakimasu," Yohei said with a small bow, taking his chopsticks, picking up some noodles, and blowing softly on them before eating.
He let out a groan.
Sluuurrp.
"Oh, Sage, this is heavenly."
"That's Ichiraku Ramen for you!" Teuchi said from the back with a laugh.
Neither he nor Naruto said anything for the next few minutes as they finished their meal, but as soon as they did –
"Another one!"
"Another, please!"
"On the way, boys!"
As they waited for the next round to be ready, Yohei stretched his arms, feeling the heat of the food spread through his body and relax his muscles. He let out a content sigh.
"Back to our subject – what is your team working on right now, Naruto?" Yohei asked curiously.
"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head to the side, then frowned, letting out a groan. "Only boring things. Kakashi-sensei has us doing those stupid missions every day, and then it's just drills and drills and drills all the time."
"Wait," Yohei asked, blinking. "You guys don't train?"
"Of course we do!" Naruto said. "We do a lot of, uh – conditioning. And we fight against each other or against him."
"Yeah, but like… taijutsu training, ninjutsu training, genjutsu training? Hell, even chakra control or nature release – haven't you been doing any of that?"
"You have!?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Oh man, that sounds so much more fun!"
Yohei pursed his lips.
'I mean, this fits into what I know from canon. It wasn't until the mission to the Land of Waves that Kakashi started teaching them Tree Walking, and it wasn't until the Chūnin Exams that he taught one of them a jutsu – namely Sasuke. But… why? Why the hell would Kakashi do that?'
"Naruto… did he even mention anything about that?"
"No way! That bastard is holding out on us!"
'That doesn't sound right,' Yohei denied in his mind. 'Kakashi may be a maladjusted individual, but he's neither uncaring nor cruel. There's literally no reason for him to try and hold them back on purpose. So why…'
"I think… I think your sensei is focusing on training you three as a team, rather than training you as individual shinobi," Yohei said, unsure. "Maybe that's just because he decided to focus on that first, so you all get it into your mindset early. Maybe it's because he expects you three to grow individually on your own. Or maybe he's just waiting for one of you to actually ask him for specific lessons."
"But I did ask him to teach me that stuff Sasuke did!" Naruto complained.
"And what did he say?" Yohei asked curiously.
"That I 'need to work on my fundamentals'," Naruto said, covering one eye and mimicking a lazy, deep voice.
Yohei snorted. "Well… he's not wrong. I think what happened is that he expected you to know what the fundamentals are supposed to be, and how you're supposed to train them, while you expected him to tell you what they are and guide you through them. Do you even know what your Chakra Nature is, Naruto?"
"What's that?" Naruto asked.
Yohei's face lost all expression.
"What."
"What, what?"
"What do you mean 'what's that'? Chakra Nature – the affinity of your chakra for-"
That's when Yohei remembered.
A little detail, something he had mostly forgotten or ignored, treating it as just a literary tool used by Kishimoto in his other life. A scene during Team 7's mission in the Waves, when Kakashi went to teach them how to tree-walk and Naruto asked –
What is chakra?
'No, that – that can't be right. You're shitting me, right? This dumbass didn't graduate from the Academy without even knowing what the stuff he uses to make jutsu is, right!?'
"Naruto…" Yohei called hollowly.
"Hm? Yeah?"
"Do you know what 'chakra' is?"
Naruto rested his head in his hand, brows furrowing as he looked up in concentration.
"I think I heard about it before?"
…
Yohei took a deep breath.
"Eh? Did I say something wrong?"
Yohei ignored him.
"Ayame-san, do you have a paper and a pen I can use?"
"Ah, yes!"
"Yohei, did I say something wrong!?"
Yohei ignored him, accepting the offered pen and notepad and writing down a list on it.
Things I Need to Learn:
- Basic Chakra Theory. (I don't know what chakra is)
- Principles of Chakra Nature.
- How Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Genjutsu work.
Things I Need to Practice:
- Chakra Control.
- Nature Transformation. (I don't know what my affinity is)
- Genjutsu Dissipation.
He tore the page out and gave the pad and pen back to Ayame with a smile before handing the list to Naruto.
"Here, give this to your sensei next time you see him. And… please pay attention to what he says, Naruto," Yohei said seriously. "Sage knows that I understand how boring it can be, hearing someone drone on about technical terms and all-"
That's a lie. Or at least a partial one. If it was about math, then there's a good chance Yohei would fall asleep, but ninja magic? His alternate self would sell an organ and a limb to have classes on it.
"-but this is literally the difference between life and death. I don't know how you graduated without knowing it, and as happy as I am that you became a ninja, I'm not even sure you should have if you don't even know what chakra is. I just really, really don't want my friend to die, so please pay attention, alright?"
Naruto stared at him with wide eyes, looking down at the note in his hands before looking away to hide his face and coughing. A new weight made itself known in Yohei's chest.
"I – I, uh. Y-yeah. Sure. I promise." He tried to surreptitiously run his hands over his eyes before he looked back at Yohei, trying to put his carefree smile back on his face. "Thanks."
Yohei smiled, shaking his head and giving a weak punch to his shoulder. "No problem. And you know what? Worrying as it is, do you have any idea how badass it is that you're so strong without even knowing what chakra is, man? It's like becoming a professional runner without knowing how to walk!"
"Heh. I'm really the best, aren't I?"
"Here it is, kids – dig in!" Teuchi announced as he dropped two new bowls in front of them.
"Thanks, Teuchi!" Naruto said.
Yohei laughed as Naruto immediately went back to normal once the ramen was in front of him.
"Alright, Naruto. I already beat you once today – I'm in the mood to do it again. So how about another bet? Just like before: the one who finishes the least amount of bowls needs to teach the winner a jutsu of their choice."
"That's right!" Naruto said beating a fist on his palm, remembering their bet. "I still haven't taught a jutsu."
"As if I wanted anything you could teach me right now!" Yohei said with a laugh.
'Well, I kind of want the Shadow Clones, but I'm not sure I can even use them right now, and I certainly don't trust someone who doesn't know what chakra is to teach me anything.'
"I'll just keep those wins in store and make you teach me something actually cool in the future!"
"That so!? I'm gonna make you eat those words! Teuchi! Bring more! I'll have to teach this guy who he's messinging with!"
"Yeah, Teuchi-san, bring more! There's no way I can't fit more in my stomach than this pipsqueak!"
"What did you say!?"
"You're short, not deaf!"
Teuchi laughed as he watched the scene, even as he started making more portions.
"Mou, it seems Naruto got a friend just as spirited as him," Ayame said with a sigh, though she was smiling.
"That's right, that's right," Teuchi agreed. He looked at them again, at the smile on Naruto's face even as he did his best to stuff himself. "I'm glad."
-~=~-
'Well, today wasn't what I was expecting, but… at least it was productive,' Yohei thought, laughing to himself hours later as he sat down on the chair in his room, fresh from a bath.
Burp.
'Oof, I don't think it was the best idea to challenge Naruto of all people to an eating contest, he thought, patting his round belly and staring at it with some worry. Will it be back to normal tomorrow?'
He was low-key fucked if it didn't.
'Well, I can't say it wasn't worth it, though,' he consoled himself, thinking of the moment the Chaos Scroll activated for the fourth time. 'I better hurry up and check what I got so I can go to sleep early.'
With that, he closed the blinds of his window and made sure to lock the door of his room before sitting back on his chair and summoning the Chaos Scroll.
'One Bronze Seal for… what, seducing that girl from the pancake stall? Or something of the sort. Either a summon or a new manual, I bet. Then a Silver Seal for beating Naruto in a taijutsu spar, which will most assuredly give me a jutsu. Another Silver Seal for… befriending Naruto, I think? Wait, if that's it, why didn't I get one for befriending my teammates? Is that because they're not canon characters? Does that kind of thing matter for the Scroll?' Yohei asked himself with furrowed brows.
'That feels prejudiced. Whatever. That one will also probably be a new summon… I have no idea how I'm dealing with that when just getting Mugetsu is already such a task, but maybe I'll be wrong… And finally, a Bronze one for the ramen stunt. I don't think it quite fits into what I'd call a skill, but it's the one that fits the most.'
Activating the seals and watching as the Chaos Scroll disappeared, Yohei was left staring at four new, smaller scrolls laid out on his table.
'Grey, white, grey, white. So two D-Rank summons, and one F-Rank jutsu and manual? I… don't know how to feel about that,' he thought with pursed lips before letting out a sigh. 'There's no sense in grumbling about it. I didn't even plan on trying to get any rewards today – this is a win no matter what. Let's start with the jutsu and the manual before looking into the summons…'
And so he set three of the scrolls aside, taking one of the white ones at random and opening it.
[塩分抽出之基 – Enbun Chūshutsu no Ki – The Foundations of Saline Extraction]
|F-Rank Manual|
This manual teaches the methods for controlled extraction of salt from liquid sources such as water, bodily fluids, or tears. These include controlled evaporation, selective absorption using treated surfaces, and fine manipulation of flow and temperature.
'Ha. Ha. Fucking hilarious,' Yohei thought flatly. 'The magical artifact has a sense of humor – who would have thought?'
He tried to think of an actual use for the thing in his hands and couldn't really come up with anything.
'I'm pretty sure there are already jutsu that can do the same thing much easier and on a larger scale. This is just…' He let out a breath. 'Well, maybe there's something inside here that someone else – someone who actually understands the science of it all – can use to make the world better.'
Closing it up, he went for the next one.
[発汗制御の術 – Hakkan Seigyo no Jutsu – Perspiration Control Technique]
|F-Rank Jutsu|
This jutsu allows you to sweat on command, either stopping perspiration altogether or increasing it to superhuman levels in order to cool your body down.
'Oh, now you're just fucking with – No. No, no, no. Calm down, let's focus. Supernatural control over my sweat sounds kind of dumb, but that's just another level of self-biomancy I gained, he told himself, before groaning. Ignore that Total Concentration Breathing would probably let me do this at some point and just focus on what it can do,' he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose.
'Let's see… Alright, the basics,' he thought, raising a finger. 'Temperature control. Super-sweating would let me dump heat extremely fast, so I'd be able to survive higher temperatures than I should, as long as I'm capable of providing a constant liquid source for my body so I don't dehydrate. Maybe with Water Release? Thought for later. Suppressing sweating would also prevent loss of heat in cold environments, so there's that. Also, dumping heat after a fight or particularly strenuous exertion would prevent overheating or heatstroke.'
He then opened his other hand wide, looking down at his palm.
'Stopping my hands from sweating would help with… maybe motor control?' he asked himself, unsure. 'Though with chakra already making things stick to me, I don't know how useful that is.'
He then rubbed his index and middle fingers together, feeling the friction between them.
'On the opposite spectrum, covering myself with sweat would make me harder to grab or restrain, so yay?' He thought sarcastically.
He heaved a sigh, drumming his fingers on the table.
'Psychological uses. Induce sweating to appear nervous or sick, or to fake exhaustion – or suppress it to fake being calm. Ohhh, that actually gives me ideas. I have to check back on the Aura-Projection Manual,' he thought, glancing toward the corner of his room where that particular scroll was hidden among others he had gotten around to painting to look similar.
'What else, what else… Well, I can probably reduce my scent if I don't sweat at all, so that could help with evading trackers with enhanced senses. Or I could do the opposite and flood a place with my smell to confuse them. And… I think it could accelerate the removal of toxins and the purging of drugs? Maybe? I'll have to check that later.'
Yohei let out a satisfied sigh, looking down at the scroll in his hands. 'Well, pal. Seems like you're not useless after all. But now…' he trailed off, looking at the remaining gray scrolls, 'let's see what you two have in store for me.'
Picking one of them at random, he undid the latch and spread it open.
[狐月 – Kozuki – Moon Fox]
|D-Rank Summon|
Kozuki is a young member of the Fox Clan with formidable physical abilities, especially when it comes to her speed and agility. She is trained in ninjutsu, knowing the basic ninja techniques and being adept at mixing Chakra Flow applied to her claws with her Fire Release.
'Wow, okay, uh… let's go through this step by step. First of all, was this from the pancake girl or from Naruto? I'll choose to believe it was from Naruto, only because that sounds funnier,' he thought with a grin that turned exasperated as the moment of levity passed.
'Great. Now – Fox Clan. There wasn't one in canon that I can remember, but they could have easily been real and just… never really appeared. Being realistic, there are three possibilities for it.'
He lifted one finger. 'The Fox Clan didn't exist, and it was created when this scroll was.'
He lifted a second finger. 'The Fox Clan does exist, but Kozuki didn't, and she was inserted into their history now.'
He lifted a third finger. 'Both the Fox Clan and Kozuki always existed, and this scroll merely connects to her.'
Then he let out a sigh. 'No real way to confirm which of those is true, but it's good to keep in mind.'
He read the description again, nodding in satisfaction.
'Next, her abilities. She seems kind of like a mix between Ren and Souma, and having ninja training would effectively make it so our team has a fourth member, which is just… great, really. He paused. But now we have to go to the cons. The obvious one being that she is a fox, I'm in Konoha, and those two things don't mix very well after Obito decided to murder his sensei and his pregnant wife for the lols,' he thought with a scowl. 'Fucking Uchihas, fucking everything up for fucking everyone, including themselves.'
He ran a hand down his face, dispelling the grumbling.
'I… suppose that if she knows ninjutsu, then she could keep transformed into a human or another animal, but that seems kind of… mean,' he thought with a wince.
'I'd actually rather deal with the prejudice of being a Fox Summoner than miss out on an ally and an asset,' Yohei decided with a shrug.
'Now for the other problem – I have no fucking idea how to justify this, he thought, slapping the back of his hand softly against the scroll. There is absolutely no fucking way I can just go, "Oh, look, I found this scroll lost in the woods, teehee."'
He let out a groan.
'Maybe… maybe I could pretend I did a Reverse Summon and appeared at the Fox Clan, but that would require the Fox Clan agreeing to that – and it would also take from me the chance to actually do it, which I really, really want to'.
He stared blankly upward for a few seconds before scowling.
'Ah, fuck it. I'll leave this as a problem for Far Future Yohei.'
Who is not to be confused with Close Future Yohei, who has to deal with a wolf rather than a fox.
Blowing a raspberry, Yohei opened the scroll further, blinking in confusion at the illustration of "Kozuki" within it.
'Isn't that… Renamon?' he asked himself with astonishment.
Spoiler: Kozuki - "Renamon"
'Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. The fox Digimon that furries are obsessed with. I – does this change anything? I suppose it means that only my first two hypotheses about the Fox Clan can be right, but beyond that… I don't know shit about Digimon. I don't know what her powers are. Can she evolve? Or, uh… fuse? That's something some Digimon do, right? He frowned. I guess not, since she became a summon animal, but I'll only know for sure once I actually get to talk to her.'
Letting out a sigh, he closed the scroll and picked up the last one.
'Please be something less problematic.'
[陰影 – In'ei – Yin Shadow]
|D-Rank Summon|
The Yin Shadow is a creature from an immaterial dimension. When summoned, it will appear as an incorporeal shadow filled with eyes. It lacks any direct combat ability, but it is able to possess targets to torment them or those surrounding them with genjutsu, or it can haunt the shadows of its summoner to provide them with a source of spiritual energy. It feeds and grows on the leftover spiritual energy left behind by the dead it haunts.
'Holy shit, my prayers were answered,' Yohei celebrated giddily. 'This is fucking amazing! Alright, uh, let's see it part by part. First – "from an immaterial dimension," so this is an alien, I guess. Kinda like demons.'
He took a second to decide if he was okay with that, before a smirk grew on his face. 'I'm a teenager. Of course I'm okay with having a demon under my control,' he thought with a snort. 'The lack of combat abilities is a little bit of a pity, but really nothing tragic, especially with what it can do. Having a support summon who can cast genjutsu is… huge. Genjutsu is already incredibly hard, needing just slightly less control than what's required for iryoninjutsu, and it also requires Yin Release, which I seriously doubt would be anywhere near as easy for me as Yang Release was.'
Frankly, Yohei wasn't even sure if he really had a Yang affinity, or if it was all a result of the Chaos Scroll.
'So having someone I can always depend on to fill that need is insane. But even more than that…'
It can haunt the shadows of its summoner to provide them with a source of spiritual energy.
'This is the real prize,' Yohei thought eagerly. 'This is like half of a Tailed Beast, even if nowhere near as strong as one. It's still a source other than myself that I can use to synthesize more chakra from. And considering how spiritual energy will always be my biggest deficit as someone with a Yang nature, this is just a match made in heaven.'
He opened the scroll further, seeing the appearance of the Yin Shadow – a mass of shadows covered in eyes.
Spoiler: Yin Shadow
"…or made in hell. Holy shit, this kind of looks like Alucard's true form. Or the Pride Homunculus. Did it come from one of their settings? I don't remember anything like that."
Yohei analyzed the image further, imagining himself possessed by it – his shadows stretching unnaturally in the dark, eldritch eyes gazing upon his enemies as if he were a creature beyond mortal comprehension.
'…I'm going to farm so much aura with this.'