Running with No Brakes
[Joshua Davis]
"I feel like I sucked more than usual," Joshua commented, only for Serafall to splash some of her water on her hand and then on his face. He twitched at that, but other than that he only gave the devil a flat stare. In hindsight though, maybe he should have seen that one coming.
"No dumb comments," she said, eyes narrowed. "And you did fine~" she reassured, her expression shifting into a beaming smile all too easily. It sometimes made him doubt how real it was, but he often found himself surprised that he was fairly sure that it was, indeed, authentic. Then again, maybe that was just him doing his best to believe his partners. God knew they all could easily lie to his face and he'd be none the wiser if they really put their all behind it.
"If you say so," he replied weakly, taking a gulp from his own water bottle and looking around. Nobody had said anything about his acting for Serafall's show, so he guessed it couldn't have been that bad. He'd even tried to spot lies, in case Serafall had put them all up to that.
He'd actually planned on not doing any work for Serafall's show while he worked on the Silence projects, but the woman had insisted on getting some stuff done. Fair's fair though, she had asked for him to use the time he'd otherwise dedicate to dates and time for her on it. Her show was even, for the first time in years apparently, going through a slower release rate to account for the lesser amount of hours he could dedicate to it.
Joshua was still trying to figure out why the thing meant so much for Serafall, if he was honest, but ultimately he guessed it didn't really matter. Everyone needed a hobby, and he kind of liked participating in Serafall's, so everyone won. Although, he had some doubts about his acting through his time working to bring Silence to Ophis, because his mind was very clearly not all there and he was fairly sure it was impacting his acting.
"Don't worry about it, Joshua," the Satan told him, not pouting nor childishly optimistic. Instead, her voice came out reassuring, soft and warm. "Even if things don't come out perfect, we can work on it in editing and other stuff. Leave it to the crew. It's more work for them, but that's why I pay them," she explained to him, getting more and more back into her Levia-tan persona the more she spoke, finishing by sticking her tongue out.
"That's good to hear," he said with a weak smile. It really was too, because at least then he wouldn't need to worry about potentially screwing up her show. He knew how important it was, after all, even if, again, he didn't know why. "If there's anything else you wanna do though, please let me know once this is all over," he added, leaning back on his chair, his eyes locking on anything other than Serafall.
He was more comfortable around them and loved them very much, but that didn't mean Joshua wasn't still very awkward at times. Especially when he was feeling a little insecure about… There was a lot to be insecure about when it comes to his relationships, not the least of which being the fact that he was in several of those, admittedly.
So, that was why he found himself glancing around the set for the show, watching as they recorded a scene that didn't involve either Serafall or Joshua himself while they rested. Although, he suspected that might be by design, arranged so that they can spend some one on one time "by themselves", as it were. He wasn't complaining, of course, but he was curious to know.
"Why though?" Serafal asked, eyebrows raised although something in her expression tells him that she already has a good guess. A guess that was probably right, since they almost seemed like mind readers to Joshua at times, even though he knew they couldn't do that… if only on account of his Mind Resistance skill.
"To go if we survive the end of the month," he answered. It had been something he'd been thinking those days, as the guilt of having to push almost everything and everyone away while he worked grew. "I'll have Ravel keep my schedule open even after that's over. I'll probably need to continue working on it even if I get a better deal, but if Ophis is happy with the end of the month… Well, I want to make up for things. I'll probably take it easy, no Khaos and less tinkering for a while."
"When we survive the end of the month," Serafall corrected and he smiled at her. He appreciated the vote of confidence, truly he did. He just didn't share the sentiment. "And I thought you liked tinkering."
"I do… but I want a break after all this," he explained with a shrug, taking another sip from his water bottle. "I feel like I'm starting to hate picking up the books and the notes. Taking it easy and spending time with people I love sounds great right about now," he added, smile in place and widening when Serafall beamed at him.
"I have a few ideas," she replied. However, a moment later, the grin faltered the smallest bit, but enough for him to notice. When he raised an eyebrow at her though, the Satan hesitated for a moment. "I thought… maybe you could come with me to another gala happening next month, but I know that's not really your scene and you said you want to relax, so maybe after-"
"I'll go," he interrupted, giving her a slight smile that he hoped convened how he felt on the matter. "If you want me to go, I'll go. I don't mind… Just don't leave me to the sharks."
"Deal," she said and the smile she gave him, together with the slight pink dusting on her cheeks, made all the suffering he'd go through in the gala worth it.
[}-o-{]
[Penemue]
"Joshua hasn't come in a while," Azazel said and she immediately was anticipating a headache coming her way. Nothing good for her would come out of that topic, after all. It didn't help that the man should know the answer. She'd given her the report herself.
"We were told he wouldn't be as available as he's been for a month," she dutifully told him all the same, because what else could she do. She might have had questions – a lot of questions, admittedly –, but there was a difference between that and actively acting on her thoughts… Although, the distance between both things was getting shorter and shorter in her head, she was noticing.
"He was already coming very sparingly," Azazel said and, for once, a crack appeared in his easy-going act. He was annoyed, she could tell. There was an edge to his voice and tension to his posture.
Good.
"There is a reason for that," Penemue said as diplomatically as she could. Although, it probably wasn't quite as much as it would have been if she hadn't had to be the one to deal with that particular mess while her boss stuck his head in the sand. "We weren't given a reason for this change, but I suspect it's unrelated to us." The 'this time' went unsaid, of course.
"Hm," the man hummed, looking down at his notes. His expression told Penemue that he wasn't continuing to tinker though. He was actually thinking about the situation. That was a huge improvement over how things had been so far, as far as Penemue was concerned. "Do we know anything about what it could be?"
"All that I've gathered is that Davis has pulled back on a lot of people, not only us. His time teaching at House of Water was cut down dramatically, for one. Lady Leviathan's show seems to have slowed its release rate too, which doesn't happen often so that's worth noting too. He has been seen a lot less in general," she informed quickly. The report could have been more in depth and through, but she'd learned to give Azazel summarized versions. The man was smart enough to put things together or ask for the specific information he might need. "His allies have been gathering information regarding the Dimensional Gap too."
That last bit of information seemed to catch Azazel's attention completely, which Penemue expected. She was no genius like Davis or Azazel himself, but she knew that something had to be going on there. And nothing involving the Dimensional Gap would be a small matter. No, Davis had found himself in yet another big deal and Penemue was so tempted to try and pull strings on the man's side.
Alas, she knew how fragile those were, even with all the effort she'd put into easing the tension between her faction and Davis'.
"Interesting…" her boss mumbled, leaning back on his chair. "We can get some information in regards to that. We do have a deal, even if Joshua seems intent on pushing the limits of it," he said and there was the headache she'd seen coming.
Why did Azazel not realize that he was pushing away a powerful ally? Why did he insist on acting like everything was fine? Did he think that treating Joshua as if he were throwing a tantrum would help?
Penemue didn't have any answers.
She did have guesses though and they… didn't really help matters. Because her best guess was that Azazel was too invested in Vali, he cared too much and it was clouding his judgement. He wanted things to go well for Vali, so he was closing his eyes to issues.
Because if things weren't fine, then Vali would truly be in danger.
Foolish, some might think, but Azazel had basically cornered himself. If he gave up his aggravating act, then it'd all but mean giving up on Vali. The situation just didn't have an out where the Lucifer spawn wasn't going to face consequences of his actions. Penemue knew, or at least suspected, that Azazel wouldn't let that happen.
The problem was that Azazel was facing someone that wouldn't bend. He was dealing with someone that he couldn't talk or negotiate with. The same way he was stubbornly clinging to Vali, Joshua was clinging to his own family. The clash there was inevitable as soon as Vali had pulled off his insane stunt, unfortunately, and they had been on the wrong side of it.
Penemue wished she could go back in time and smack Azazel for going along with that attack to plant the sorry excuse of a spy that Vali was. She knew, by then, the many issues there were with that plan. Not the least of which being that Vali made for a terrible spy and wasn't helping alleviate the situation at all.
Alas, Azazel had made their beds for all of them.
Now they had to lie in them, whether they wanted to or not.
"I'd suggest against pressing this issue, sir," she replied, keeping her expression and tone professional. She grew nervous as she considered that too, because if Azazel did decide to press things… it wouldn't end well, for him and for anyone else. They weren't in a position where they could afford to antagonize more than Azazel's "approach" already was.
"... Alright," her boss replied after a tense moment of silence. Penemue could tell he wasn't happy with it, but she couldn't figure out what he thought would be a better idea? Was he frustrated and wanted to do something?
Well, he was welcome to the club then.
"Can you send me one of the one month appointments, Penemue?" Azazel asked then and she had to make an herculean effort not to let her expression shift. Then, she had to make a second one to keep her voice steady.
"Of course, sir," she said, turning and leaving with the implied dismissal.
And as she moved, she considered that. She considered it again when she got to the Artificial Sacred Gear training facility and called for the appointment Azazel wanted. He liked to make check ups on his creations and their holders every so often, like after a month, for example.
It was impossible not to see the frustration in the faces of the nearby fallen, her kin. Penemue would have had to be blind… or be Azazel. Because he seemed like the only fallen that didn't know how precarious their faction's situation was
After all, everyone knew Davis was giving both angel sides wings. Everyone knew Heaven was getting more of those than Grigori. And, similarly, everyone knew the reason why was Azazel and his fumbles. There was no doubt how everyone knew either, at least as far as Penemue was concerned.
Inevitably, she had to wonder how long things would last before something gave.
She needed to do something.
[}-o-{]
[Joshua Davis]
"Mr. Davis," a voice called, but he ignored it, idly going over his work some more. He was tinkering with an idea to improve on one of the things he'd had to "compromise" regarding Project Copy. He was also fairly sure it'd work, surprisingly enough.
He was trying not to be too optimistic though.
"Mr. Davis."
Besides that, he had thought about something he could apply to Project Room while he was spellcrafting that. So, Joshua was very tentatively happy with how the day was going. Really, he could count on one hand the number of good days he'd had since Ophis' surprise visit. At least, when it came to his work, of course.
"Joshua."
"Yeah?" he asked, looking up and holding back a grin when faced with Ravel's pout. She should know by then to call him by his first name when they weren't in a professional setting, even if she was working. It wasn't even like it was the first time she called him that or anything. She'd done so naturally and easily in the past already.
Sometimes though, her inner stick-in-the-mud came out, he supposed.
"You're mean," she mumbled, still pouting as she fidgeted with her notepad. "I'm trying to do my job, you know?" the girl asked, eyes narrowed. She could only sigh, however, when he just stared at her with a slight smile. "Be that way. Penemue called and said Azazel might be getting a little impatient."
Taking a deep breath in, Joshua summoned a log across the room from him and then Setan Kober. The dagger in his hand flew at the improvised target almost immediately. While the Demonic and Holy daggers didn't much like being used for anything other than sparring and actual fighting, Joshua had found that Setan Kober also tolerated being used as… a stress reliever of sorts.
Those days, he had to deal with a lot of negative emotions and throwing the dagger at something was a nice enough outlet for that kind of thing. At least when he didn't have other options, like then and there. Turned out Setan Kober could appreciate some controlled raging, apparently.
Joshua wasn't sure it was a good thing that he'd found that out.
"That man really likes to test my patience," Joshua growled, pulling the dagger back to him with a strand of magic and throwing it again as he considered the situation. He couldn't do much more to Azazel, unfortunately, not without majorly impacting his faction and Joshua didn't want to do that.
The fallen were allies, much as he wanted to smack Azazel around. If nothing else he knew he'd help with Khaos and other issues. The problem was that he was barely an ally. Barely was the key word there and it made all the difference. Because he didn't trust Azazel for much else other than being on their side.
He hadn't told the man about Ophis for one, he hadn't gone to ask for help, or any other kind of dealing with Grigori. Joshua just didn't know what Azazel could do. He was a Wild Card in the worst way, because as far as Joshua was concerned, the Governor could pull another stunt like he did with Vali to set him as a spy, or worse.
"He does seem to make… questionable choices," Ravel replied, ever the diplomat. "Should I tell her anything in particular?"
"... Can you coordinate with her so that we can maybe not ruin the tentative alliance we have with Grigori? With her and everyone else, of course," he answered after a moment, rubbing his eyelids tiredly. Everyone else meant Yasaka, Serafall and Gabriel, maybe even Agnes and others that he hadn't directly interacted with. They were the politicians. He was just a guy that was good at magic, he had no business actively participating in any of that mess.
If he did, he was sure he'd find a way to make things worse.
"Will do, sir," Ravel replied with a nod. Not a second later, she was already scribbling away at her notepad. She'd handle it. She was a kid way too smart, after all, and even if she couldn't handle it, someone else would help her do so. The benefit of having very dependable allies.
Joshua thanked his lucky stars for having them every single day.
God knew he'd be screwed without them.
"Was there anything else?" he asked, leaning back even as he kept throwing and pulling back the dagger.
"Not at this very moment, sir," Ravel answered and he had half a mind to mess with her for all the sir's. He'd already done something in that vein before though, so he guessed he could let her be for the moment… "Kunou is finishing her classes in half an hour, however. I'd suggest you prepare yourself, sir," the Phenex added and he grinned at the slightly warmer, casual tone in her voice.
"I guess Koneko'll probably pop up soon. You want any snacks, Ravel? I feel like making some."
"Well, if you're offering…"
[}-o-{]
"I'm glad to see you're doing better," Gabriel commented and he breathed out through his nose, not quite amused but something similar. "You disagree?" the angel asked, raising a challenging eyebrow at him.
"Not necessarily," he replied, shaking his head even as he kept his attention almost fully on the notebook set in front of him. "It's difficult to stay down when there's so many people around to pick me up," he added as an explanation. He thought of everyone that had been around, that had helped, after the two weeks had come and gone and he'd been in a bit of a… mood.
He was still worried, more worried than before. There was no denying that he wasn't doing great, but he wasn't a mess. He was doing a little better, and that wasn't ideal, but it was enough. Joshua was settling less than he'd like a lot those days, but this was an instance that didn't bother him as much.
He appreciated them, all of them, his partners, his daughters, his sisters. All of them had done much for him to keep his sanity somewhat intact, or whatever remained of it, that is. He would probably be struggling a lot more to get things done if they weren't around, Joshua was sure.
"Happy to help," Gabriel replied with a smile that lit up the room… Almost literally. "Speaking of helping, are you sure you don't want a second opinion on your progress?" she asked then and he almost sighed. He'd had that conversation with her several times… and with Yasaka and Serafall too.
"I'm sure," he answered with a sigh. "Maybe after I'm a little more sure of things," he said and that seemed to catch her attention. He had been soundly denying their requests so far, but he could only be so stubborn before his better judgement got the better of him.
Joshua was reluctant to let them experience his spells though and he thought it was justified. There was a reason why even gods avoided the Gap like the plague. Not only was it just as hostile – if not more – to them as it was to anything else, but it also cut them off from their world, their domains. Yasaka couldn't go in there for more than a few seconds, and it strained her blessing from the Shinto pantheon too much to do so in any kind of repeated manner for the same reason why she couldn't leave Kyoto.
Serafall and Gabriel could go as much as they pleased, but that didn't mean they were eager to do so. They hated the place as much as anyone else did and they'd rather stay away from it. Joshua, for his part, was only too happy to allow them to do so.
If he didn't need to go, he'd probably have stayed far, far away from the Gap himself.
He wasn't even sure why though. Sure, the place was disorienting and dangerous, but it was more than that what kept things away. There was just something wrong, something that filled him with dread even thinking about going there, let alone what it felt like actually being there. It was like an Uncanny Valley feeling, but much, much worse.
A mystery for another time though, because Joshua thought it might just be a…
'Is it though? Is it only a byproduct of the void and the hostile nature?' he wondered then, eyes narrowed as he tilted his head. 'What if that feeling is part of it, like the hostile nature. Or part of the hostile nature itself, some kind of parallel attack. A physical one and a mental one. And if there's a mental aspect, there could be a soul aspect too. Maybe that's what sets it apart from a regular void.'
He considered all that and the more he thought it over, the more it seemed to make sense in his head. Why did the concept sound familiar though? He felt like he'd seen something like that before.
One way or the other, he had something in mind and work to do. Unfortunately, that didn't really help him know the way to get there, but he'd have to see how to approach that. Maybe generating the void itself would cause that to happen naturally, if he could get it to the proper level. If not, then it'd validate the idea of the unknown element… which Joshua hoped wasn't actually the truth, because that was the path he was struggling with the most.
"Had an idea?" Gabriel asked, only when he'd paused for a moment to gather his thoughts a bit.
"Yes," he confirmed simply with a nod. "I was going about the void physically, but I think there might be a mind and soul component to it too," he explained, even though he felt awkward doing so, since more often than not people didn't really have much to comment on what he did. Still, sometimes it helped to just give voice to things and his partners never even hinted that they'd rather he stop. "I'm trying to figure out if I need to add that in or if it'll come naturally, at least to Project Room."
"I see, but you do need to add it to Copy, right?" she asked and he almost beamed at her. It was always nice to know that they were, indeed, paying attention.
"Yeah, fair enough," he mumbled, scribbling a few things down on his notebook. "It'll be something to look into when it comes to Bubble too," he added afterwards as he considered his options. He had a bunch of new things to work on, all of a sudden, but he was hardly complaining. "I swear, if I don't fucking die making this thing, I'm gonna cut down so much tinkering time from my schedule. I feel sick just looking at books and notebooks these days."
"Will wonders never cease," Gabriel commented jokingly with that slight, beautiful smile of hers. "We'll make sure to remind you."
"Please do, this is killing me," Joshua replied with a wry grin.
[} Chapter End {]