Chapter 900 - Chapter 830_3

I exert all my efforts trying to surpass everything, striving to surpass my ultimate limit, the very peak—but the peak means it's insurmountable. If I can't surpass it, it means death. I ponder how I could possibly make all of this less unbearable. I'm not promoting myself, because deep in my heart I'm always wondering what I should do. I know I should aim for ideals, not delusions; pursue passion, not pretension. I should find joy in contentment, yet I can't help myself. I love the feeling of happiness surrounding me, yet time and again, it's my own hands that disrupt all the happiness. It's me who wrecks every rhythm until it becomes unbearable forevermore. It's me who makes everything so lonely. It's me who drives everyone away, time and again. It's me who forces everyone to see through me, over and over. I forever refuse to stay by my own side. All of this is my own doing, the consequences I face are entirely self-inflicted—who can I blame?