(This side story take place between chapter XVI and XVII and it centers around the side characters Dacre and Jiwon)
Song Recommendation: ♫ SALVATION::VIOLATION - KiNG MALA ♫
"Pain. One wouldn't say that love comes from it, or that even one could enjoy the taste of blood on their tongues, however here we are, as pain connects us and hatred bounds us, can we ever escape the self-inflicted wounds as we blindfold ourselves through our reality?''
The dark sky of the Morke Kingdom always brings solace to Jiwon's heart. It's a dark empty color, devoid of stars or even the sight of other planets, completely devoid of anything but darkness. Somehow it speaks to him, it always did, since when he arrived in that Kingdom. It's not because of some philosophical reason like the King enjoys speaking about, but simply because it feels peaceful, as if the empty he feels inside doesn't exist if the whole world is empty as well.
So when King Lyor told him to go to the Exos Empire and help his fiance with investigations, he felt as if he was being punished, he would rather go along with the conquest, fight enemies and help those who are trapped under their tyrannical grasp. At least at the conquest he felt that he was useful, while he swung around his weapons he felt as if it was okay to let it go of the life he lost.
As a Prince, Jiwon was always poised, he was graceful and never indulged in acts that could disrespect his family, sure he was spoiled for being the youngest of the triplets, their difference of age was only eleven hours but that was enough. He was happy as he had tea with his mother in their peony garden, or when he learned the art of the fauchard and katana from his father, symbols of his Kingdom. Differently from his older sisters, he was lucky enough to be evacuated early when the conquest in his homeland started, his only wound being from a fight with six soldiers of the Hai Empire, he killed all of them and left with a bad wound in his back, lasting as a scar to this day.
Nothing as bad as his sisters, of course, he was lucky in that sense. Not that he feels lucky, he should've stayed, he should've argued with his father and stayed to protect his sisters, to protect his parents from those ruthless soldiers, carrying orders from a cold-blooded Emperor.
Differently from King Lyor's conquests, the Hai Empire is addicted to war, forcing one-sided alliances and if the Kingdoms don't accept their attack they waged war, having immense force in military and strategy, being able to conquer anyone standing in their way. Their Empire is blessed by the Goddess of War for a reason after all. They kill everyone in their sight during their conquests, elderly, children, the innocent and the guilty.
If Jiwon could go back in time he would have advised his father in taking the Hai Empire's alliance, even with the losses they would have. As no price is too big to pay to not lose the lives they lost that night.
Survivor's guilt is what Cypress told him and his sisters is the name of what they have, but neither one of them agrees, they're happy they survived, they feel guilty as rulers for causing the death of their people, if they were just a little more humble, if they didn't think they could've defied the Empire… Maybe everyone would still be alive and happy. However they'll never know.
In the Exos Empire it was Jiwon's first time meeting another refugee from their fallen Kingdom. When his eyes befell onto Miyuki, his heart stopped, the man's eyes were filled with confusion, he, as most of those who escaped, thought the whole Royal family was killed. At first the man was surprised, then he started crying, exclaiming how happy he was that the Prince had survived. All Jiwon did was stare at the man and then say he isn't a Prince anymore, he couldn't even properly react as he wasn't ready to meet someone that knows his past as a Prince, especially not in the Exos Empire, a place he never even wanted to go to.
Miyuki wasn't the only person he regrets meeting. After blankly staring at the dark sky for minutes he turns his gaze to the people he came with, and there he was, that irritating bright pink hair, green mischievous eyes and a laugh that rings inside your head as if mocking your existence. The first time Dacre and Jiwon's eyes met it was like something inside him instantly repulsed. As if his whole body was reacting to his existence.
After Jiwon arrived at the Empire he was feeling weird, constant headaches, weird dreams, and the urge of engaging in sexual intercourse, as if something inside him was hungry for something. Now that he's back at the Morke Kingdom he feels at ease, as if most of what was ailing him was gone. Yet the feeling he has towards Dacre is as strong as ever.
"What are you thinking about?" His sister's voice plays inside his head, he turns from staring at the pink-haired boy to his sister. Seoah looks worried, as if she can sense what Jiwon is going through, he used to enjoy this when they were children, as if they had a superpower because they're triplets. Nowadays he finds it annoying.
"How's good to be home", he answers with a sigh, knowing that his sister won't believe him either way.
"You're staring at that boy quite a lot" she states, her gaze on Dacre.
Jiwon's eyes close and he frowns, trying to think on how to describe what is happening to him without overly worrying his sister. "He's just a work colleague", he answers simply, but by the expression on Seoah's face he can tell that she doesn't buy it one bit.
"He's pretty", she states, clearly misunderstanding Jiwon's gaze.
"He's a nuisance", with those words Dacre turns to look at Jiwon as well, when their eyes meet he doesn't turn away, he never did. He doesn't have anything to feel ashamed of.
"You're talking about me?" Dacre asks, stopping his conversation with Fleuri and Noor to walk towards Jiwon and Seoah, his expression is annoyed but he has his usual smile on his lips, a smile that never reaches his dull green eyes.
"Yes, I was just telling my sister how annoying you are", Jiwon says with a smirk, crossing his arms. Seoah gives him an awkward look.
"Why would you tell him that?" She asks, her voice carries a lot of disbelief for a voice forged from her mana. He shrugs.
"Ha", Dacre scoffs, "Was he always like this?" He asks Seoah.
No, he's a good kid, Seoah answers with letters made of mana, Dacre nods, as if he figured that Jiwon is like that just to him.
"I figured", he says. "Maybe he's just bothered by me".
"Took you long enough to understand that", Jiwon answers with a mocking laugh.
Dacre stays silent for a moment before speaking again. "Is he a good brother? Does he listen to you?" He asks Seoah, ignoring Jiwon's incredulous expression.
Sometimes, she answers.
"Can you tell him to stop going to brothels?" Before Jiwon could act, Dacre had already finished speaking.
His face turns red from embarrassment. He can feel his sister's gaze on him, her anger burning on his skin. "Do you ever know when to shut up?" Jiwon asks, he's angry, of course he is, Dacre is always just speaking whatever comes to his mind, never filtering what he should and shouldn't speak. That mouth will get him killed one day, and maybe Jiwon will be the one to do so.
Seoah slaps Jiwon on the arm, it's weak, but the threat behind it isn't. He knows well enough to keep his mouth shut when his sister starts giving him the death stare like she is right now. He's just thankful that the one there is Seoah, and not Hayun, because their oldest would certainly hit him way harder.
"What is the meaning of this Jiwon?! Going to brothels? Have you lost your mind?" Seoah's voice in his head is loud, if she was speaking he would've blocked his ears, but there's no way to block a mana voice going directly to his head.
"I'm not going to brothels, this nuisance here is exaggerating".
Normally, Jiwon is crude, always being sarcastic and offending his work colleagues, so calling someone 'stupid' 'nuisance' or even 'idiotic brute', usually directed at Noor, is common. However everyone always knows he's being sarcastic or that he doesn't really mean what he says, it's just a way to deflect his own issues onto others.
However, his tone right now isn't one of sarcasm or even a joke. He's being completely serious, and that shocks his older sister, as she never saw her brother being this aggressive towards someone.
If Hayun were there, Jiwon would've been knocked out already, and later he would hear a lecture long enough to make his ears fall off. But Seoah was always weaker to Jiwon than Hayun.
She wants to grab her brother by the ear and make him apologize, not strong enough to hurt but just so he learns his lesson. However when Dacre answers, completely unbothered by Jiwon's remarks, all she wants is to call their oldest sister over and lecture both of them. One on how to not be rude to others and the other one on how to prize yourself more.
"The girls you're having sex with are related to really bad people and you're worried about the technicalities of if it is or not a brothel?" Dacre speaks firmly, he's usually easy-going and doesn't hang in a subject for this long. Why is he so bothered by Jiwon going to those bars? There's something he isn't telling them, yet Jiwon doesn't care enough to ask, all he wants is to be the farthest away from the boy that he can.
"I care! You're talking to my sister! For the goddess grace, you're insufferable!" Jiwon raises his tone, catching the attention of the other two that were there. Noor's gaze was the first to befall their altercation, his one eye was enough to tell Jiwon he was pissed. And Fleuri's expression is blank, as if he's weighing if he should intervene or not, as if he doesn't care about them, yet if he will need to deal with the consequences then he'll intervene.
Surely, Jiwon understands why everyone around him is acting like that, he's out of control, his mind is a mess and he's acting meaner than usual, always on edge, about to blow up. He doesn't usually question King Lyor's actions and choices. But sending him to the Empire was a mistake. He doesn't want to yell, he doesn't want to say those things, but there's something inside him, something so desperate to make Dacre's life miserable, to take him and lock him up so that no one can ever look or speak to him.
So that Jiwon can be his only light in this empty place.
He pauses.
No, this isn't right.
What he's feeling isn't purely repulsion.
It's something far stronger, that overwhelms his whole existence.
His eyes turn bright pink for a moment, a clear sign of his mana starting to leak, by instinct, Seoah takes a step back, pulling Dacre back with her.
What are you doing Jiwon? Her words are messy because of the urgency, her mana not catching up properly with it.
"What's the problem?" Dacre asks, his overall expression would be of confusion if his eyes weren't so dull.
Why is his eyes always showcasing how dead he is inside?
As if it doesn't matter how hard he tries to fake the emotions, he's never able to do it perfectly.
Maybe that's why Jiwon is bothered by him, because everything he says, everything he does and every expression he makes, doesn't have a single drop of real emotion.
Just like a puppet that moves according to the strings, even if he's moved to show sadness or happiness, its wooden expressions can't imitate those of humans.
"Jiwon's mana is dependent on his emotions", Noor is the one to answer, his eye is focused on Jiwon. "When his mana leaks, it can mess with your head", he makes a gesture pointing to his own head, tapping it just to drive home his argument. "It was probably on his file, didn't the Prince tell you?"
"The Prince shared his file with the Captain, he was probably micromanaging Jiwon", Fleuri is the one to answer, defending Nikias from the accusatory tone of Noor. "And sharing a Knight's weakness out in the open isn't exactly smart", Fleuri points out, just then all of the involved notice they're in public, their altercation grabbing the eyes of passerbys.
Noor laughs, his whole body shaking together with him, he taps Fleuri's back, making the half-elf clearly uncomfortable.
"You're right elf-boy, you remind me of Cypress, smart fellow", his tone is crude and his remarks are reminiscent of the constant nagging of the King's aide. Not in vain of course, Noor was a pirate, it's hard to adapt to life as a King's knight.
He should avoid speaking to his highness like this, Fleuri thinks, remembering the amount of times the Prince argued with the Empire's Knights because of disrespect. And those two need to hear from him as well, the halfling thinks, he doesn't want to be the one telling two grown men to get their shit together. He doesn't care if they kill each other even, but if that means more paperwork for him then he would rather ask the Prince to deal with the situation.
As the man is incredibly good at putting people in their places, although he tends to be lenient with those of poorer backgrounds. Fleuri turns his head to find the Prince, just to see him laughing about something with the King and the King's butler, his smile is so bright one would never imagine he was expressionless most of the time at the Empire. Unfortunately for the Prince and the King, Fleuri doesn't want to deal with Dacre and Jiwon's situation much longer. And if he let them be, at the end of the day he'll be the one filling a death report.
"Your highness", Fleuri calls, grabbing Nikias attention. "Sorry to interrupt, however there seems to be an altercation", he tries to speak slowly and nod towards the two troublemakers.
The lovebirds approach them, Lyor's hand that before was on Nikias shoulder is now resting on his back. They seem unaware of how glued they are, as if they put some space between them it might make the other go away.
"What happened?" Nikias asks, behind him, King Lyor's expression is calm, yet Fleuri can feel the pressure of his gaze. Something he felt from the first time he saw the man, his presence alone is enough to make someone feel like they need to bow to him. The fact that Prince Nikias not only stands next to the man without feeling such pressure or even cower in the face of such strength, proves further to Fleuri that the Prince is far stronger than what he shows.
Dacre is the first to speak, taking a step forward, closer to Jiwon. "Sorry, your highness, the King's knights were just worried about Jiwon's mana leaking", his answer is formal, surprising most of those present. His usual comfortable and overfamiliar tone with the Prince is gone, he's even taking the proper knight stance, his back straight up and his eyes focused on the man he serves.
Nikias is the only one that knows why Dacre acts so differently, and in the Empire, Raphael is probably the only other person aware of the boy's circumstances and his way of dealing with situations.
"I see", the Prince says with a sigh, his usual expressionless gaze back. "I understand you're used to backing off from Jiwon's mana leaks, but Dacre and Raphael are actually using it to train further", he says shaking his hand, "So if Jiwon's mana leaks, don't worry about pushing Dacre back".
Noor's incredulous expression summarizes the feeling of everyone that ever felt how it is to be under Jiwon's mana leaks. If there's no one to snap you back into your senses, it's dangerous enough to be even deadly.
Messing with one's emotions is messing with one's mind. And not knowing if you'll have a burst of sadness, rage or even happiness is dangerous. Of course that's the whole point of the Shadow Division's training, to make them able to not succumb to even the worst of emotions.
Raphael was having difficulties with it, but Dacre? He was stellar, further making Jiwon even more uncomfortable. As he can't even use his mana to drive the boy away.
But does he truly want to drive him away?
"Isn't that cruel to such a youngling?" Noor asks, touching Dacre's shoulder, and that touch is enough.
Enough to bring Jiwon's head into a bursting pain, a voice inside his head urging to surface. As if he's fighting with himself inside his own head, his eyes now don't blink pink, they are completely bright.
"Jiwon, stop that", Noor adverts, pushing Dacre back. "You're out of control, what happened in the Empire?" His words aren't accusatory, only worried.
"Stop touching me" Dacre says, pushing Noor's hand away. He sighs, rubbing his temple, trying to think.
If we were to classify the smartest people of the Exos Empire, Dacre wouldn't be in anyone's list, as he isn't the best at math, chemistry or even fighting, he is absolutely ordinary in everything most would think when they're making a list of the smartest in the Empire.
Yet, Dacre is what some would consider a natural at socializing. Contrary to Nikias who's smarts was built from his years as Vahe, or Fleuri who's brain is just built differently, he's extremely good at reading people and social instances. He didn't need to learn how to escape perverts or live on the streets alone like Vahe, or need a brain that memorizes everything he reads like Fleuri. To survive all he needed was to know which buttons to push and which not to, how to make someone act in the way you want them to, or even how to understand what others are feeling and why they're acting that way.
If you ask the boy he'll never tell you the secrets he learned long ago, that acting empty brained was how he learned to survive, pretend you're acting on instinct, pretend you're stupid, then even those who want to kill you will show leniency.
Prince Nikias was the only exception, his golden eyes, staring straight into his soul, as if he could read Dacre like a book. At first the boy was scared, but later he was thrilled to have someone finally see through the lies in his eyes.
After he entered the Golden Phoenices his mask has been falling apart slowly.
He doesn't need to pretend to be stupid to survive anymore, he just needs to put all of his cards at the table and show the Prince he's worthy of the position he was put in. After all Prince Nikias didn't choose him as his personal knight because he was the strongest, but because he was the one that would bother him the least.
Dacre was enjoying Jiwon's actions just like a fly is attracted to the light. From the first moment they talked he could tell he bothered the 24 year-old knight. Not that the man hid it very well. He provoked Jiwon at every opportunity and pretended not to understand what his words really meant or the burning gaze always on his back.
Every now and then he had men look at him like that, as if they wanted to own him. Disgusting men that were paying a 17 year-old for blowjobs at alleyways, he never cared for them, as they would move on for the next pretty boy in dire need of a silver coin next month.
Now that he is 18, he thought most men would move on, as his appeal was being an underaged pretty boy that needed money to pay his mother's drug debts.
And right he was, as if by magic, when his birthday knocked along half of his usual clientele was gone, yet his debts kept piling up.
Now he's almost 19, but even so, Jiwon's gaze on him isn't tempting. Not when the man keeps chasing skirts at a black market drug ring.
Yet the fact that the man seemed obsessed with him didn't make much sense, yet there it was, clear as day, at least to Dacre himself.
If someone touches Dacre the mood instantly shifts, and Jiwon's eyes become sharper, his mana always leaking. If someone speaks with Dacre, Jiwon comes closer or speaks ill of Dacre to catch his attention, like a child who's mom isn't paying attention to them.
When Dacre walks around their shared room with only his shirt and underwear, Jiwon's gaze is always fixed on him.
If he hadn't noticed, he would be beyond stupid.
"I just think we're all tired from training last night", he answers, trying to create an excuse for Jiwon's actions, he isn't obligated to, but in Dacre's eyes, flipping on the man right now would only make his life harder. "He's probably not thinking straight".
Nikias eyes are like the eyes of a predator when he's annoyed, Dacre can feel the hairs at the back of his neck standing up with the Prince's gaze on him. They make quite the couple, Dacre thinks, as he observes that both the King and the Prince have gazes that could kill you if they wished. The heavy gazes of those with great powers, a gaze Dacre wished he had, this way he would be able to escape at least half of his life problems.
Lyor speaks, his voice is heavy, as if he's making sure you hear him with your whole body, his heterochromatic eyes are sharp and heavy on those who they rest in. The King's whole presence is emanating power, as one would expect of someone in his caliber. Beyond that, Dacre can tell by the King's eyes and his posture that the man appears scarier than what he actually is, his words further proving his assumptions. "Regardless of how tired one is, you shouldn't argue with those you share a purpose with." His words are directed to Jiwon and Noor, as they were the ones arguing the most, but at the end his eyes rest on Dacre. "And you shouldn't judge one to be fragile solely by your assumptions", just like Nikias that day at the alleyway, Lyor's eyes feel as if he is dissecting Dacre's soul right there, laying it bare and deciding if he is an ally or a threat. "Should we have a small feast in celebration?" The King changes the subject, turning to Nikias, his gaze softens when his eyes rest on the Prince. "I brought some peaches from our conquest", he smiles.
Nikias laughs. Dacre stares at the Prince, as he seems trapped inside a bubble where no one but him and the King can begin to understand. When they were at the Empire, the Prince seemed like the epitome of royalty, and not only that but he felt like a figure which you should only stare at and never touch. Yet now Dacre can see that the Prince is just like him, a boy lost as he just entered adulthood and trying to survive in a world where everyone is out to get a piece of you.
They're extremely different yet similar.
He turns to look at the origin of the altercation, who's now discussing strongly with his sister, having the decency this time to speak low enough to avoid prying ears. Dacre does find Jiwon attractive, although the man is ordinary, he is conventionally attractive, no wonder he always finds someone to warm his bed. But being physically attractive isn't everything one must have, and for now, he can't see Jiwon as someone who has many attractive points besides his appearance. The way he moves with the katana is relatively hot, Dacre thinks with a light smile, not that he would ever say that out loud, or maybe he would if the situation called for it.
He doesn't want to give Jiwon one more reason to offend him. But the small truce between them doesn't last long, after they eat a few peaches and discuss the differences between the Empire and the Kingdom, everyone goes to different places.
The King and Prince went to talk privately, Noor and Seoah went back to training, Leora mumbled something about going to the Temple, and Fleuri and Keres went to speak with the King's aide. Leaving Jiwon and Dacre alone, sitting at the back garden and staring as young maids wash clothes and chat lively.
"If you want to sleep with me just say so" Dacre says, leaning back, his eyes fixed on the dark sky. "I don't mind doing so as long as you stop going to that place", he sighs, "At least this way you can get this hatred out of your system", his words are careful, he turns to see the man's expression, but Jiwon is frozen in place, as if he's not sure how to reply to Dacre's proposition. To the boy it is quite simple actually, the moment they have sex, the man will move on and the atmosphere within the group will become lighter.
As all Jiwon wants is the thrill of possessing Dacre, he doesn't want a relationship or love, he wants an achievement.
Even geniuses can be wrong when they don't have all the facts, and right now Dacre is wrong.
But neither one of them knows all the facts yet.
The true reason why Jiwon is acting this way, or even what he truly wants from Dacre.
"I don't want to fuck some kid", his words make the boy laugh.
"I guess five years apart make me a kid", he says, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Stop making excuses when you clearly want to say yes", he points out, reading Jiwon's expression with perfection.
"I have options, I'm not desperate enough to have sex with you", his words are as defensive as expected.
"Sure," Dacre gets up from the seat they were on, cleaning his uniform with light taps. "Keep telling yourself that. When you want to face the truth, the offer will still be up and the conditions will be the same".
"Why are you so desperate to get me to stop going to that bar?" Jiwon finally asks.
Dacre takes a few seconds to answer, hesitant if he should truly do so, in the end he simply shrugs. "I don't want you to harm the Prince's image by frequenting a shady bar", his words are lies, but he finishes the sentence with a light smile. "For a former Prince, you seem to have forgotten about honor", as a final blow to Jiwon's pride, Dacre's words are said with the only objective to make the man mad.
"I really don't think we will ever get along", his words carry repulsion and disbelief. But Dacre can see beyond that, as Jiwon's eyes are filled with confusion, as a person who's unable to understand himself.
"I'm not a fan of the word never, but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night", he says at last, turning his back to the man, tired of their interaction. "Just abide by your words, will ya?"
❥
Author's Note:
Hello everyone that may be reading this story :)
I would like to share a little bit of my plans for this story, I tend to talk a lot about my plans in my discord server (check it out in: https://discord.gg/9cRQmzNd), however I do want to share a bit with everyone.
Here Lies the Weight of the Crown is the first installment of a 3 part ''series'', I'm not sure if I can call it a trilogy since it should be a duology by most stories standarts yet the third installment is something I felt I needed to include in Nikias and Lyor's story so I did. The second installment will have around the same lenght as this one and it'll focus a lot more on their main goal and since they'll be already married on their relationship now they'll be constantly together. Yes it is a bit far ahead yet, since I do plan to make HLWC to have around 40 chapters, ending with their marriage. However if everything goes to plan I want to finish it by May 2026, especially because the first chapter was posted in May 2025.
Writing this story has been healing for me, as I never was able to go this far into my stories, so I'm happy to know so many people are enjoying it, even if one day it becomes too boring or you grow tired of waiting for the chapters, I still hope I provided at least an entertaining story while it lasted for you.
This is a really loved story by me because Nikias was the first protagonist I ever felt strongly attached to, I even cry sometimes thinking about his story. If I can even convey 10% of my purpose into words in this story I'll be happy.
I do write for free, so if you enjoy this story and love Nikias like I do, please drop a kudo for the story or a comment of support.
I'm saying all of this in a side story because I don't want to pollute much of the main story. After Chapter 17, I'll be posting a special notice and hope all of you read it.
On side couples and side characters I do have my favorites, but if you ever feel like you'd like to see more of anyone besides our main couple, please let me know, it's my pleasure to showcase more of these characters I built with so much love (except Frode, he's built with hatred).
Thank you for all of the support, when I see the views, kudos and comments it always brings me joy, especially when I'm second guessing the story or even my hopes and dreams as a writer.
I do think I have a long way to go and when you're online and see so many people ''better'' than you, it's hard to keep following your path, especially when being over 20 already feels ''too old'' nowadays, mostly for women as well. It's nice to feel that it isn't too late and that you don't need to be in the right path you wish when you're 18. My prefrontal cortex just fully developed so I shouldn't be so hard on myself, and if you're in a similar situation I hope you find solace in knowing you're not the only one ^^.
Thank you so much again.
Have a wonderful week.