After feeling my stomach up, Emmie nods.
"Alright, I will take it more seriously. Now let's go. We don't want to have the best seats taken before we arrive at the canteen."
Indeed, by the time we reach the canteen, much of the seats have been taken. Cliques, as the norm for any group big enough, have gathered with all their elements, the brightest ones, and the isolated ones there only to elevate the former even higher.
I'm happy I have never lacked affection to the point of having to force myself to integrate just to seek it and find some value for myself. And now, I need external validation even less.
That more mature perspective of that life spent lacking most of what might have been the norm for most, before letting go and only pursuing true sources of joy…
If I did not break and fall into depression with the external tragedies and internal battle due to the dissonance tearing my mind apart, much of the reason is that.
"Max, let's go."
Emmie pulls me, making me shake my head and stop letting my mind drift. We get our lunch at the serving station, and choose slightly better seats among what remains.
Emmie can't help the envious look on her face when she sees my well garnished plate, and it can't help the small laugh that bubbles up the surface.
"You know, you can join the swimming club of the school. That will be an effective way to exercise without too much hassle or the fear of imbalance. You will not end up uneven in shape."
The red eyes across brighten immediately. Without having to think, Emmie seems hooked by the idea already. If I had the time, I would have taken up to the idea myself. Unfortunately…
"I like the idea. Why don't you join too? Especially with your shape and how you have been working out, you might integrate the team of the school."
I hide the slight reluctance in my heart with a smile. I quite like water, and playing with it actually.
"I won't have the time for any club activity this year, or the following years for that matter. You can try joining the team in my stead. Want to try?"
Emmie is taken aback. She looks down at the form that she has never been ashamed of, which she has always taken pride in actually, before looking up with a slight pout of disappointment.
"Don't tease me. Don't think I don't know some activities have requirements for body shape and appearance. I can always pass the test for the latter, but not for the former in this situation."
"Don't be so pessimistic. At least, you will never need any help to avoid drowning."
As I laugh, I look down at Emmie's chest. She takes a moment to understand before glaring at me. She almost failed to get that I'm alluding to her breasts being air bags that will always keep her on the surface of the water.
She guards her chest with one hand and gives me an accusatory look.
"If they grow any bigger, it will be your fault."
The words are not even seductive, but they make us relive some moments of both of us naked and entwined together. Heat rises up in the gazes we exchange, before I laugh softly and wave my hand.
"Alright, I won't joke about that anymore. I know that some activities have requirements, as you said, in body shape. If not for that, you might not have lost your dream of being a ballerina. However, you are not trying to be an athlete here. First try casually, with the idea of refining your shape and working out. Then, you can try aiming higher step by step. I believe you can do it. Even becoming an athlete will not be impossible. Just tell me if you ever want to, and I will do everything to help you. You might have noticed I have a better brain now."
Emmie's smile trembles under my earnest gaze. Her eyes glisten with moisture, and she lowers them to her plate.
Insecurities, things that can be from old wounds, in unexpected corners. No one would ever have thought that Emmie has her own share of weakness beneath her mask of carelessness.
Fragility can only ever be suppressed. Everyone has that softness, small or big, hidden or exposed.
I smile and let Emmie process her emotions while ignoring the thoughts intruding upon my peaceful meal.
I bet I would make a great spy. I might even surpass that red-haired spy superhero in some comics of my past life.
I inwardly roll my eyes at the irony of the restlessness forced upon me by my new, 'better' brain.
I breath out a small, soundless sigh, before closing my mouth on another mouthful of food. But that sigh attracts Emmie's attention and makes her raise her head, finally.
"What are you sighing for, Max?"
"Hm? Nothing."
"Then why did you say you won't have time to join the swimming club with me? Do you have something to do? Wait, and you actually said this year and the years to come. What are you up to now?"
I roll my eyes. She is speaking as if I can only ever be up to something. Is that the impression I have given her this year? Humph!
I give her a sidelong glance, before I explain.
"I'm thinking of finding a part-time job, or a few of them, so I won't have the time for much else with the school, the martial arts club, and my extracurricular learning."
Emmie's jaw falls, and she looks at me with her lips in an 'O' that only attracts more gazes.
'So plump!'
'I want to kiss those lips.'
Apart from those clear thoughts, I catch some pure blasts of desire that make me gag inside.
I extend my hand to Emmie's chin and push it up. Someone swallows his saliva, no, her saliva. It is a girl, bisexual or lesbian.
I shake my head at the clear image that invades my mind, and it is only then that Emmie reacts and puts her shock into words.
"Your schedule is so packed! Will you have time for anything else? And also, why have you decided to make yourself suffer? Especially now that you are still not an adult yet. Are you that eager to grow up?"