The topic changed so quickly that Peter was momentarily stunned. But after serious consideration, he shook his head.
"Why?" Polaris asked.
"Wanda has a very clear pursuit; she wants a perfect and warm family. Her every action revolves around this goal. She wants to find a lover, have a few children, buy a house and a car, find a stable job, come home from work every day, and enjoy happy times with her family. She has always worked hard for this goal, and she has succeeded."
"What about me?"
"You? Honestly, I don't really know you," Peter said. "You seem a lot more rebellious than her. You don't seem like someone who would enjoy a stable life. You're always on the move, rarely staying in one place for long, willing to take risks and try all sorts of new things."
"I used to look down on Wanda's aspirations," Polaris said. "That kind of life is dreadful. Always revolving around family, taking care of a husband and kids, trapping oneself in a small house, while I should have had the entire cosmos."
Peter, after some reflection, said, "I prefer to think that people spend their lives pursuing a place where they would willingly stay. This place could be a home, a person, or a journey. It's just that everyone's pursuit is different."
"Indeed, I once thought Wanda and I were completely opposite. But I suddenly realized that we are quite similar, or rather, our father and the four of us siblings are quite alike."
"What do you mean?" Peter asked.
"When Quicksilver proposed to me, I felt a moment of delight. I realized I was also longing for something, and then I realized that I am like them."
"Like what kind of people?"
"Our upbringing was a bit rough. Although my mother, stepfather, and biological father treated me well enough, I always struggled to have a stable family. We are all the same, so we have been pursuing such a family."
"So you are willing?"
"No, I am devastated. I do not want to use my latter half of life to make up for the lack in the first half, which is why I am so angry."
It wasn't until this moment that Peter had a sudden realization. He understood why Polaris was so conflicted.
There are two types of people in this world, and they have two different attitudes when encountering hardships. Some people, after enduring suffering, have a compensatory mindset. They think, I have suffered so much before, I must thoroughly enjoy myself. Previously I had no ability, but once I have it, I naturally want to repay my past self intensely.
Another type of people choose to let the hardship pass. They feel that past events are gone, and there is no need to dwell on them. One should enjoy the present and look to the future, rather than constantly be tripped up by certain memories of the past.
Neither can be said to be better or worse. The former's compensatory mindset, while it might lead to overcompensation—like buying a bunch of toys they couldn't afford as children but actually never play with, or habitually eating snacks and drinks that are of no benefit to health.
But in a sense, this compensation is beneficial for mental health. They can gain happiness through this compensation, healing past wounds themselves, and gradually improve their protective mechanisms until they completely move on.
The latter, although free from the risk of overcompensation and seeming to have a broad-minded attitude in life, still bears similarity to physical trauma. Some minor wounds can indeed self-heal, but for severely serious injuries like open abdominal wounds or comminuted fractures, ignoring them can be life-threatening. Just reflected in the mental aspect, many people do not pay attention, constantly hypnotizing themselves that "it will all pass," leading to worsening conditions and eventually festering from within.
Currently, Polaris is in such a situation. She thinks she is unlike Wanda and does not need compensation; she thinks she has let the past go, but suddenly one day, she finds that she has not really done so.
The wound is still there and has festered very severely. She needs healing, needs compensation, but none of this is on her life list. She does not want to live such a life. Her emotional needs and her life goals are in conflict, so she collapsed.
Peter finally understood why Polaris had previously maliciously speculated that he was a male chauvinist, such as guessing that he built a secret base to avoid family life, or told his wife about it just to make her do some housework. Because Polaris is very afraid of these things, and fear always makes people sharp.
Even if Peter's married life is very happy, he has to admit, this kind of fear is reasonable. Because there are many people who are unhappy in marriage, too many people exercise excessive control in the family, turning the family completely into a kind of shackles, almost like a prison.
For Polaris, who has been constantly pursuing freedom, this is her most fearful scenario. Even though deep down she might know the person proposing to her is not such a person, just standing from Polaris's perspective, someone attempting to drag her into such a prison is terrifying enough.
"Don't you envy your sister's life at all?" Peter tentatively asked.
Polaris glanced at him, then shook her head, and said, "Do you find it unreasonable? I say I don't envy her, but then I say, maybe we're very much alike. I know it's contradictory, but if not for this contradiction, I wouldn't feel so miserable."
Peter understood once more. Perhaps, Polaris is in a battle of mind and heart. Her rational side tells her she does not need a family, she wants freedom, she wants to explore the cosmos, but certain scars deep in her heart, which have never healed, are emotionally hijacking her, demanding her to envy this kind of family life, to make up for past misfortunes.
Now, Polaris can give her negative answer because she still has some rationality left. When reason dominates, she won't change her life plans. But when emotions take over, it's not so certain.
Peter took a sharp breath; this was still too difficult for him. Having lived with Doctor Schiller, he had learned a thing or two, but he was not a professional psychiatrist. He really couldn't figure out what a professional psychiatrist would do.
"Are you wondering why I don't see a psychiatrist?"
Peter nodded and said, "What are your concerns?"
"Do you think Shiller has ever gone through such a phase?"
"What?"
"He's single, right? And he seems to be someone who really enjoys a single life. Has he ever faced the dilemma of actively deciding whether to start a family?"
"Well..." Peter hesitated. He said, "We once thought the doctor had been married, but later found it was a misunderstanding. He also clearly stated that he is mentally ill, and starting a family and raising children are not in his plans."
"That's why I don't go to him." Polaris had nearly finished her drink and was clearly showing signs of emotional breakdown. She said, "There's a voice in my head telling me to go to those who've been married, to find those with happy marriages, to see that their families aren't as unhappy as I imagine. I should muster the courage. I think there might be some truth to it; look at you..."
"Wait!" Peter quickly interrupted, saying, "I'm an exception. Or rather, those happy in marriage that you can find are exceptions. It's better not to make such a hasty decision. Why don't we go find Doctor Schiller?"
"Your married life is so happy, yet you don't persuade me to get married?"
Peter opened his mouth, but was momentarily speechless. He and Gwen were doing well, but living through this marriage has only made him more aware that if one aspect were off, if either of them had a bad trait, or even just bad luck, they could lead a very miserable life. There's too much that needs to be just right.
If Peter had to describe it, a happy marriage is like a perfect crime in probability. Everything has to be just right; if even one tiny thing is off, it could all fall apart.
And unfortunately, only those in happy marriages can realize this. Because those in unhappy marriages don't even have the energy to ponder such questions.
That's why many people with unhappy marriages still insist on urging others to marry. Some might do it out of spite, but more often, they simply lack the strength to discern good from bad. On the other hand, many from happy families will advise you to be cautious, since their smooth journey to this point gives them the energy to recognize the pitfalls they nearly fell into and how dangerous those traps were.
Polaris didn't respond. Peter thought about whether to advise her further, but just then, someone walked in at the bar entrance, causing a bit of a commotion.
The Arkham Knight lifted his face guard, slapped his gun on the bar, and walked over to shake hands with Peter, saying, "Nice to meet you, Spider Man. And you, Polaris, we meet again."
Polaris completely ignored him. The Arkham Knight furrowed his brow, glanced at Peter, then said, "What's with her? Drank too much?"
"It's a long story," Peter had no choice but to pull the Arkham Knight aside and said, "It's urgent, so I'll be brief. We have one last spot on our team; if you want to join, you're welcome, but right now, I might need to take her to see a doctor..."
The Arkham Knight was surprised and widened his eyes, saying, "See a doctor? What's wrong with her? My goodness, she could come back to life and nag in my ear for hours even after losing her body, and she can still get sick?"
"It's more of a psychological issue; it's hard for me to explain to you..."
The Arkham Knight's expression immediately turned serious, then he asked, "What's the problem?"
"It's some sort of psychological trauma. Forget it, I can't explain it to you; I need to hurry..."
The Arkham Knight still grabbed hold of him and said, "Look at the time, which hospital is still open? You don't plan to take her to the ER, do you? Are you sure she can afford the bill?"
Peter was just about to say he was going to find Doctor Schiller but thought about it. It was indeed a bit too late now. Doctor Schiller had been very busy recently, and disturbing him in the middle of the night might affect his rest.
"Why don't you tell me what's going on? Maybe I can help?"
Peter sighed and, keeping it short, summarized Polaris's dilemma to the Arkham Knight.
"I see," the Arkham Knight said thoughtfully. "Okay, let me talk to her."