HAYAT POV:
I made a lot of memories on this short trip and I loved Ahad's cute face when Ashar called me his girlfriend, his care for me as he gave me the shawl, his nodding and listening to each and everything I said while we were at his room door, him bringing flowers and bangles for me, him wearing shalwar kameez, oh, I love all of it.
I made a lot of memories with him and Ashar, we are now back in Karachi, Ashar is driving this time while I sat beside him and Ahad taking some rest in the back seat.
"Hayat," Ashar called me...
"Hm," I replied while my eyes were closed...
"You miss Eira?" My eyes opened up, and I looked at him. He has never asked me about her from me...
"Don't look at me like that. She was my sister too, I miss her but I don't just show it, she was not too close to me but to bhai, but I loved her as much as bhai did, I miss her but I just don't like to open up about it" Ashar said, still driving the car...
"We were friends for 6 years, not just friends but we were sisters, I spent my most time with her than my own family, I was just 14 when I met her online and she became my closest person, never had I thought I would be left behind." Gulping down the lump formed in my throat, I continued.
"I went to the same college and university to be with her, and I shifted to Karachi to my uncle's place for her... she was one year senior too, I left the university after her death, and I have been in grief for last past four years, if not for my courage to run away from home and come to Karachi months ago, I would have been there in Islamabad locked in my room," I said with my eyes closed...
"We made a lot of memories together, I do miss her," I said, opening my eyes, and looking at the front... tears welled up in my eyes but I tried to hide them....
"Why weren't you there at her funeral?" Ashar asked, looking at me with eyebrows raised....
"I didn't know, I was locked in my bedroom, I was caught going out with her at night for our date, and the dorm miss called my parents and told them about it instead of my uncle, they dragged me from my hostel at night, it was Saturday, I was locked in my own house, in my room for a month" the memories haunt me, but I had to tell them how beautiful piece of glass was broken.
"When I got out and got my phone because uncle came to get me, I happily checked my phone and found a lot of text messages from Eira's classmates and our roommates, I read their messages- the... the messages said, Eira is dead, where are you, why aren't you at her funeral, were you just acting? They questioned me, my friendship, everything, and I couldn't answer them." I wiped my tears away, and I didn't know when the car stopped on the side of the road...
"I regret not being there for her, I regret not looking at her face for the la- last time."
I looked at Ashar and saw him crying, and when I looked back, I found Ahad sitting in the same place with his eyes closed but visible tears on his cheeks.
Turning back, I could hear the muffled voice of Ashar beside me, suddenly my side of the door was torn open, and I was engulfed in a tight yet gentle hug, the sudden pat on my head and the heartbeat near my ear had me clinched the material of the cloth in my hand, no words spoken yet the moment so much emotions.
"I- I'm sorry," I whispered and found the arms tighter around my neck, breaking the hug, I found Ashar coming towards me, he held my hand in his, wiping the slight tears running down my cheek, "I'm with you."
Maybe people might not understand or feel how much three words can mean to you when you have been alone all your life with people making you feel unimportant.
We soon sobered up and grabbed lunch on our way home, Ashar dropped himself, and then I got into the driving seat while Ahad came into the passenger seat...
"Eira and I were going for the race on Sunday night. She was at home for a week when I got back from Australia, I studied at the University of Chicago and I was away from home, my bike passion started from there and whenever I used to come back for vacation, I would go on rides and both of my siblings loved it too, Eira and I took Kawasaki Ninja H2, and Ashar got BMW S1000 RR, we three used to race together, laugh together."
"The day she was upset, she continuously said, Because of me she got caught, and now I know what would been happening to her, I miss her, bhai I did wrong last week. I comforted her, and we went on a ride. She was crazily faster that night. She was not listening to me, I was telling her to slow down, but she did not listen to me, I was a little back when I suddenly heard some noise from her side, I called her name but she didn't reply when I finally reached there I saw the truck which she collided with, her body was their lifeless on the road, I did not go near her, I zoned out, some people were there, a man took my phone and called my parents I was there sitting a little far from her, I looked at her continuously, she laid there lifeless." As if he needed to let it out, his voice was choked up yet he didn't stop.
It pained me a lot, "Her eyes were looking at me directly, I was looking at her when I found my parents near her, my brother near me, hugging me asking me about the things, I still looked at her and I don't know what happened after that, when I woke up I saw my mother beside me, she grabbed my hand and took me near my life's lifeless body that was covered in white sheets, I hugged her and cried, hiccups were the only thing heard not her heartbeat, she was not breathing, Ashar was beside me, how long I cried I don't know, I sat with her, my father, Ashar, Ahmad, Hammad, me and some other people took her to graveyard to bury her, I don't know when I came home, I did not felt anything after her death, I started my bike ride again 3 years ago when I realized she loved bike rides, we kept save guard for the racers who joined us, I started my own company before her death which father was handling for 3 years in my place, I took over it and our father's company too after he said he wants to retire, Ashar soon joined me and we did what we could to keep going forward."
Lumps formed in my throat, and I couldn't speak, I just cried while he was telling me all the things that happened while I was not here with her...
"She loved you a lot Hayat and I can see how much you loved her too, I'm now trying to move on from the past that holds many memories, the courage you gave me without you knowing it was a push for me to go further, I found myself again, now I want you to find yourself too." He said looking at me with those beautiful eyes which right now held tears...
We were silent the whole time, till I dropped him to his penthouse, which soon will be my home too...
I reached home and cried in my auntie's arms, telling her everything. She hugged me and patted my head, whispering sweet nothings to me...
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